About the Author

Heather is passionate about faith, family, chocolate and Diet Coke. Believing beauty is found in broken places, she longs for God to shine through her flawed life. Heather is mom to a breathtakingly active son who keeps her busy. Past experience includes working in ministry with Young Life and later...

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  1. Thanks for this Heather, and as a single lady with her family away, this applies to me on so many levels. But God has been faithful to connect me with families in my church, and it has required vulnerability on my part to share of myself and to be open and to be honest I have struggled with that but God is helping me 🙂

    • Grace,

      I pray God will bring many people into your life. I pray for friendships that will flourish and nourish at the same time.

      If you have the nerve–try joining a single’s or single women’s group at your church. Get involved in some activities or volunteer. Doing stuff like that will keep you focused on Him and take away the lonely for a short while!

      Blessings@!

  2. Grace, thank you for your beautiful words! I have never written anything “public” like this before so you are my first official comment. My writings tend to be just for God’s eyes. Hoping others will be encouraged knowing they are not alone as well. May you sense His deep love for you today!

  3. Heather,
    I never would have dreamed that I would find myself facing infidelity and ultimately divorce. It just wasn’t in my vocabulary. I have learned that you can be married to someone and feel more alone than if you were alone by yourself. The only way I have come this far is to lean into God…I mean REALLY lean. The pain has brought me into a deeper and stronger relationship with my Lord. I can truly say that I know that God will never forsake me. I don’t know that I could have said that years ago. We can find beauty in our pain. Life is hard, but God is so faithful! Thanks for sharing from your heart!
    Blessings,
    Bev

    • Sweet Bev! Thank you and bless you for your kindness. I am sorry for the pain you experienced and grateful for the beauty found. I checked out your blog — LOVE!!! Have a wonderful day.

    • Bev,

      Oh so sorry for the pain you endured. Grateful you have clung to God to bring you through your dark times.

      Praying for God’s peace to wash over you and engulf you. May you feel His warm, loving arms around you at all times@

      God Bless!

  4. Yes.

    We all need a drenching, don’t we?

    I’ve been intrigued by the verses in Ezekiel 47 that speak of water flowing from the threshold of the temple. So interesting, so life-giving.

    Good words! Thank you for sharing – and for bringing this theme back to mind for me.

    Kind Blessings,
    Kate 🙂

    • P.S. You got me in the Word for the second time this morning – as I looked in on those verses in Ezekiel. Revisiting them – brought me a fresh wave of light!

      Just wanted you to know that your post pushed me further into the Word today. And anytime we urge someone into scripture…..we have done a good, good thing. Be encouraged knowing that you have!

      Have a lovely day 🙂

      • As I drove to a meeting today, I prayed . . .”Lord, drench me with your Presence, Grace, Your Spirit” and thought of you and your post. THANK YOU! Planning on look at Ezekiel later. 🙂

  5. That touched my heart heather thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’m praying for you. Keep writing, it is your gift and it will help you heal Praise The Lord.

  6. Heather, I have been where you are now. I know that feeling of brokenness so deep it is a struggle just to get out of bed in the morning. My daughters were 2 & 4 when I divorced my first husband. Only by God’s grace and mercy and for those 2 little girls did I survive those years of pain and struggle. I pray for peace for you and that you will not allow shame or guilt to keep you from the beauty which is promised to you by the One who “set you apart before your were born” the One who “chose you… before HE formed you in your mother’s womb” Jer. 1:5.

    • Amber, I adore the openness in your comment. It sounds like you have precious girls. Thank you for being real and someone who points right back to our Creator as the one who makes all things new.

  7. Beautiful post….powerful words. God ha been speaking to me on living waters for a week now. Your words here are giving me insight into His purpose . What he wants me to hear. Bless you in your journey.

    • OOHHH! I would love to hear more of what you have been learning about living water. Keep me posted. Thank you for your sweet words.

  8. @9:03am.: GOOD NEWS: “THIS 2 WILL PASS”!(I DIDNT think so @ the time & became indignent just 2 Hear those words,BUT, GOD IS FAITHFUL & KNOWS UR HURTING HEART! He NEVER LEAVES U OR 4SAKES those whom HE LOVES’! ‘AIM urself toward HIM & HE will show U a LOVE U have NEVER known! ‘SATURATE urself n HIS ‘WORD'(it has #POWER’-JESUS said its words OUTLOUD when satan tempted HIM 2 ‘give up’!) Remember theres ALWAYS sum1 else who MAY have it a LOT worse & takes time 2 PRAY 4 U because THEY KNOW ‘NOW’ IS just ‘TEMPORARY’, BUT,’ETERNITY’ holds MUCH REJOYCING 2 look 4ward 2!!!;-)

  9. Everyone please pray for me. I was pressured into abortion. Im having a truly truly hard time. I feel like that bench. Battered. Left behind.and drowned in shame defeat and despair.

    • Ty I will pray for you and am sure others here will also! Stop and listen for His words of love and forgiveness that He has just for you. He gave His son for you. He offers complete grace – I will pray for healing and that you can embrace His forgiveness and then get up and follow Him with joy and a heart that is truly free because it is already; you just have to know it!

        • Oh precious one. You are loved and forgiving ourselves is not always easy is it?? He sees your pain, knows the tears and whispers for you to draw near. It may feel intimidating but there is grace in His embrace. I am so sorry for your heartache. Sometimes I have to remember forgiveness like love is a verb, an action — not always a feeling. If we wait until we feel like forgiving, we might not ever get there but if we make the choice to forgive and then trust, the feeling often comes later. Sometimes, it doesn’t and we make the choice to forgive again and move forward again. Praying for healing for you Ty.

      • Thank you all so much. Im stopping like Maria said. I will start the Bible study Forgiven and Set Free tomorrow. And one day soon I can come back and post that Im truly Forgiven and Set Free.

    • Dear Ty,
      I’m so sorry to hear about your experience and the pain you feel! But there is a really wonderful, national program that exists exactly to help people who have had abortions, to provide lots of support and healing, a program which is very popular, called Project Rachel. In order to find it, go to http://hopeafterabortion.com, or just type Project Rachel into Google to find it. It is a special healing ministry run officially by the Catholic Church, but it’s for absolutely everyone, regardless of their denomination or faith; so everyone is more than welcome. Once on the Project Rachel webpage, you can click on the tab that says “Find Help,” and then you can choose where in the country you are located, and you will be directed to the nearest Project Rachel group, the one closest to you. It really is a wonderful program! There is also a similar program called Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries, which you can find again on Google. But do look into Project Rachel–it’s a fantastic resource for helping women to heal after the abortion and to forgive themselves. If you have any questions about the program or website, you can email me and I’ll try to answer them–my email is: quinn103@gmail.com. I will keep you in my prayers and heart! Sending you many prayers, blessings, hugs, and much love! Blessings, Katy Q

    • Ty,

      Sweet sweet Ty–Prayers going out for you now.

      Lord,

      Please forgive Ty for her earlier actions. Surround her with your love & grace. Shower her with your abundant mercy. Lord please help Ty to forgive herself.

      AMEN!

      God Bless

  10. 9:47a.m.:MORE ‘GREAT news’: JEHOVAH DOESNT have 2 have a ‘G.P.S.’to Find us! (HE was with ALL in the ‘WILDERNESS’ for 40YRS(Young,OLD,TEEN,& even those who were BORN ‘on the way’)! He STAYED B4 em,HE ‘had their ‘BACK’, & Supplied ALL there needs -n a WILDERNESS’! (even tho sum were ‘stif necked’-HIS LOVING KINDNESS PREVAILED)-HE IS a ‘COVENANT KEEPER”-HE DOESNT LIE-HE ‘SEEKS those who ‘ASK,SEEK, & KNOCK” & KNOW HIM & want 2 ‘FOLLOW’ HIS ‘PRESERVING LOVE’!( He didnt even leave JONAH- HE KNOWS our HEARTS, EVERY SINGLE HAIR on our heads R #D, HE KNEW what it would take 4 ‘SAUL

  11. This last weekend I said, out loud, I am lonely. My solution was to go visit a friend for the weekend and hike in Mt. Rainier forest where the wild flowers are blooming in masses in the meadows and the sunset was so spectacular the tears flowed. If I intentionally spend time being PRESENT with God in beauty my spirit is flooded.
    I understand!

    • LOVE it! I have these moments where I am outside and a single word whispers to my heart — “GRACE.” Yesterday, the sun was peeking through the clouds, I looked up and thought “GRACE.” I am so glad you had your weekend away in such a beautiful place. Stillness can be so beautiful in His presence.

  12. Thank you Heather for sharing your heart and baring your soul. He will be a husband to you and a father to your child! I will be praying for you. Though, I have not gone thru divorce, I know the pain of loss from my younger years. It can be devastating, but I also know from experience, He will never leave you or forsake you; and He will make you whole again, even more so!

    • Maria, I appreciate you. Grateful for your kind words to Ty above (at least, I think that was you . . . apologize if not.) Your comment reminds me of Isaiah 54:5-6. 🙂

      As life comes at us and there are those empty moments, where loss is experienced . . . He can fill the gaps even in the pain. Doesn’t always feel that way but I pray He does for me, for you, for those hurting who read this. There can be beauty in the brokenness. Good found in spite of the yuck. Sounds like you have seen and experienced that firsthand. Have a “wonderstruck” day! Thanks for your encouragement.

  13. Heather,
    Your writing is beautiful!! I have been where you are at and you are in my prayers!
    In time you will heal… In my devotions this morning I read Habakkuk 3:17-19 AMP . I also am going through a really tough season right now and mine is financially .. This scripture helped me realize that I need to continue rejoicing and He will help me grow through all of this!! Keep on keepin on sister !!!

    • Friend, I totally understand the financial struggle and am with you. Stress produced by finances can be exhausting! I read Habakkuk this morning – thank you! Remembering His strength, even when it appears all obstacles are against us. . . I needed that reminder. I am grateful for what is going on behind the scenes, the growth in our hearts as we press on through the struggles. Hang in there! Keep holding tight to His hand. You are not alone. Praying right now for you to experience first hand a gift from Him today. Maybe peace for a moment as the breeze lightly rustles by, or the laugh as a friend shares a funny story or practical needs met in someone helping financially. I don’t know but I hope for a beautiful moment today for you.

    • Carleen,,

      Sending up prayers for financial and stress relief!

      Precious father please help Carleen and her family with their finances. Shower them with your love & give them peace. Take away some of the stress she is feeling and keep her rejoicing in you always.

      AMEN!

  14. Your lovely words are transparent and deep. I agree with most of the comments given by the lovely people that chose to read your words. God is good. Although you are in pain now, who knows what further pain He saved you from in the future. Allow Him to be your husband now. “For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is His name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5 (NLT)

    • Ruth, you rock! I read your words and smiled. Thank you. There is risk in being transparent and it is scary because people are not always kind. It is worth it if it spurs on another, reminds them they are not alone. Your encouragement reminds me I am loved and that is awesome. 🙂

  15. IF JESUS can say 2 ‘the woman @ the well’:”UR SINS R 4GIVEN;GO & SIN NO MORE”- THAT PROVES HE MEANS it when we ASK 4 FORGIVENESS’! HE WILL ‘PREPARE for us a place in HEAVEN’ & HIS LOVE IS ETERNAL-NOT just ‘TEMPORARY”! HE IS a ‘PROMISE KEEPER’! When we look UP to HIM (INSTEAD of DOWN’ OR AROUND’ @ all that satin wants to ‘DETOUR’ us with,) then we KNOW that GOD has a ‘PLAN’ (& when we read HIS WORD’, we KNOW that even just the part HE tells us about, IS ‘ MAGNIFICENT” & no words can FULLY express completely ALL HE has planned for those who LOVE JESUS!

  16. Even when the emotions seem to drown out the truth of the words you have written, feed on the healing truth of God’s word. So glad you are in a Divorce Care community. They helped me breathe and heal like no other. We who have walked the journey will understand and come alongside you and sit a spell on the bench as you have need. Praying for you, Heather!

    • Sharon, there is much comfort in your words . . . those who have walked this journey do understand the pain. Most keep quiet cause it hurts so much and there is often embarrassment, etc. I confess a part of me didn’t want “Bench Flooded By Water” to go public. Most of my writings have been just for God & my own processing. It’s for those hurting, feeling alone, those who mistakenly think they are the only ones — they are the reason — wanting them to know truth. We are not alone and not the only ones. Your words lift us up. Thanks!

  17. Truth is: I don’t want to be here, again. My husband and I have been seperated for almost 2 yrs. The last 9 mths have been ok, we have been getting along and living life sepeate, but together, if that makes sense. And now, he is gone, again. Just picks up and leaves me and his children. No note, no phone call, no explanation. Can he leave me if we are seperated?? It’s all confusing. But I have been here before (which is why we were living seperate), and I am reminding our 4 children of this fact and that God has always, always seen us through. I’m trying to help them but the truth is I’m realizing my dream of a marriage and family dying. MY dream, I know God has a plan for my family, including my husband, and I am praying that I would accept it that way it is and trust that God loves us and knows the way. Thank you for your message today, it was greatly needed. IN God’s love, sheila

    • Oh! My heart is heavy for you. I wish . . . I could curl up on the couch and let you vent or help run errands or squeeze your kids with a big hug but then they would probably wonder, “who is the crazy lady and why is she hugging me?” I am so sorry for the hurt. I am believing the promise you refer to for you and me. God has a plan and purpose and it is for hope and future. This is true in spite of living in a messy world and dealing with the ramifications of another’s actions. You sound like a strong and beautiful woman. You are a hero to your kids and you are pointing them towards the ultimate “super-hero.” Hang in there. Praying for you, your husband and your kids right now. Seriously, stopping to pray right now because if I don’t, I will likely forget as my work day and to-do lists hijack my day. 😉

    • thank you ladies. Keeping my eyes fixed on the one who heals. In God’s love, sheila

  18. We R PROMISED:”JEHOVAH gives ‘POWER’ 2 ‘faint(hearted), Increases our ‘STRENGTH’, we shall ‘RUN’& NOT grow ‘weary’, Shall ‘walk’& NOT ‘FAINT’ & ‘MOUNT UP/WINGS’ as EAGLES” : IF we WAIT on the LORD!(IS.40:29-31). “IF GOD be 4 US-WHO can be AGAINST us?” (ROMANS8:31)

  19. Although I’m not divorced, I have been separated for over a year. I am standing for the healing of my marriage, believing that nothing is too hard for God. He can heal even the most broken of marriages, no matter how far gone they seem. Remember God created marriage and hates divorce. This is not what He wants for you. This is not what He wants for any of us. Don’t give up. Don’t stop praying about it. Seek God’s will for your marriage and future and let Him do a wonderful work in you. God can still heal your marriage. Praying for you and all marriages.

    • Kimberly, I hear strength and courage in your words and I thank you. The thought of divorce was not my choice and not my desire. I would love nothing more than to see God heal my marriage and am standing at the line of reconciliation. However, the preservation of a marriage depends on both wills, and one partner can sometimes end a marriage unilaterally against the other’s will. I think it breaks God’s heart when He sees life hurt us like the severing of two who have become one. But He is with you and with me regardless of the choices another makes. My choice is to remain faithful, choosing God in the midst of deeply disappointing & hurtful circumstances is the most important choice I can make. Sigh. It’s not easy but as mentioned above so much beauty in brokenness. Appreciate you!

    • I believe you need to hear His voice. I don’t believe you should always stay in a marriage, believe for a marriage, thinking you are doing “His will” . Sometimes, He says “let it go” . Marriage isn’t the end all, be all. If He is telling you to stay, stay. If He is telling you it is over, it hurts like crazy, but life is about Him, not marriage and divorce.

      • Rebecca, can you show me where in the Bible it says divorce is ever God’s will? Yes, it happens, because we sinners (humans) have hardened our hearts, but if you read the scriptures it is not what God designed for marriage. Divorce is an idea of humans, not from God. He allows it to happen, just like many other sins, but it’s never God’s will for us to be sinful. This is what the Bible says on the matter:
        1 Corinthians 7:10-12 New International Version (NIV)
        “10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
        12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.” God is not going to make a command and then go back on it!

        Heather I understand what you’re saying. My separation is not by my choice either. People talk about our spouse’s free will, but nowhere in my Bible does it say a man’s will is stronger than God’s hat I am aware of. Remember what Psalms 16:9 says: “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” Psalms 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Psalms 16:1 “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.” Your husband is following his sinful will right now, because he does have that choice to, but the good news is God CAN get ahold of his heart if you continue to stand for your husband praying for him to turn from his sinful ways. NOTHING is too hard for Him. Read the story of Saul turning into Paul in the book of Acts if you need reassurance that God can transform people’s lives and hearts.

        I know this can be a very sensitive topic and I’m not trying to rub anyone the wrong way. On the contrary, I’m trying to show that there is always hope and not myself, nor Heather, nor anybody else, has to give up on their marriages no matter what the world, or their spouse says. If I had listened to my spouse I would already be divorced right now, not standing in belief that God can heal my marriage. People do not have to accept the world’s standards of marriage and divorce. You can accept God’s standards and HIS word that He created husband and wife to be one flesh, and that which God has joined together no man should put asunder. If you live by that and you’re not rewarded here on Earth for your faithfulness by a restored marriage, you will certainly be rewarded one day in heaven for it. God’s word is full of hope, full of promises, full of people who had their prays answered, full of people who God turned from sin, full of healing. Don’t give up hope because of what you see as being the “norm” in the eyes of the world. God is greater than he who is in the world!

        Praying blessings for you both, Heather and Rebecca.

        • Loneliness, Community, God’s healing touch is the heart of “Bench Flooded By Water”. I deeply appreciate your thoughts and your words on the subject of marriage and divorce. Truly, I do. But, the primary reason I allowed a private writing to be shared publicly (with no editing) was so others could glimpse the truth of knowing we are not alone, we are loved and when storms come it is okay to admit to not having it all together, to share pain in safe places.
          “Everybody has a story to tell, everybody has a wound to be healed” – song I heard on the radio today. As we journey through life, each story is different. I hope for each of us. Whatever the struggle, the heartache . . . I hope we climb into the embrace of grace, I hope we are patient with ourselves, honest with the pain and I hope we trust the One who created us and deeply cares. Henri Nouwen is quoted to say something along the lines of, “loneliness is God calling us back to Himself.” Well . . . that may not an be exact quote but it is the essence of “Bench Flooded By Water,” in my loneliness that day as I walked — God was whispering to me to rest, to remember who I am in His Love and to invite others into the pain after I had sat with Him on my bench. With a grateful heart, HLP

          • Heather

            I’m sincerely sorry if I upset you. You touched on a subject in your post that I’m very passionate about. My heart breaks every time I hear of a broken family. I’m not trying to make anyone feel badly, or minimize their pain. I was trying to spread hope. Believe me, I don’t have it all together either. Not half an hour ago I was just sobbing because I may have to move out of my family home because I can’t afford to stay in my home anymore. My children spent most of the last four days I had them fighting with each other. I have to fight every day to keep from dwelling on thinking of my husband with his girlfriend (they live together). I struggle every day to not continue to blame myself for his choices and know that I’m forgiven for the things that I did wrong in my marriage, such as being a disrespectful wife. I am far from having it all together. That’s why I don’t want anyone else to have to go through the pain I have. That’s why I will not stop encouraging people to lean on the Lord and fight for their families. I’m sorry if that upsets people. But if just one person reads what I wrote and realizes there is another way of doing things, that there is hope in God, than it’s worth it. If one person who didn’t have hope in a God that can heal before does now, and doesn’t go on that date, or sign those papers, or leave their spouse, than I will gladly shout it from the rooftops what I know to be true, even if people think I’m crazy. If this intrudes on your sense of community, I truly do apologize. I wasn’t judging you, or anyone else, or their circumstances or trying to make anyone feel unsafe to share. It’s certainly not my intention to make someone going through this type of thing feel even worse than they already do. Believe me, I wish everyone the best, and pray often for all hurting marriages and families. Sometimes we do all just need that time of rest. I respect that and can appreciate that. I appreciate your post and that you were willing to open up and share about something that is so raw. There is certainly nothing wrong with resting in God and just breathing for a time and letting Him heal you and refresh you and love you. What a wonderful God we have that He not only offers this comfort for us but He wants it for us! But I will not apologize for trying to encourage you, and everyone else, not to give up. Nor will I ever apologize for sharing God’s word, especially when I feel like it relates to the topic at hand. I thought that was what this site was all about, a place where EVERYONE can share and encourage and be encouraged, but maybe I was mistaken. Maybe encouragement is welcome only when it reflects the popular view and conforms to what everyone wants to hear. Ultimately we were both trying to do the same thing though, offer some comfort and love to those that we share a common pain with.

            Anyway this is my last comment on this post. Heather, I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

            May God bless you and whatever your future brings.

            Kim

  20. “BeHOLD,I make ALL things ‘aNEW’!(REVELATIONS 21:5) Just like a ‘catapillar’ that BECOMES a MAGNIFICENT BUTTERFLY-in HIS time(IT IS PERFECT)! If the ‘cococoon’ is ‘OPENED’ 2 SOON-it WOULDNT be ‘FULLY DEVELOPED’! {PURE GOLD MUST be ‘purified’ by ‘Fire’, taken out,& ‘Observed’. IF, the ‘PURIFIER’ CANT see HIS ‘image, its put RIGHT BACK n2 the ‘fire’ again.; BUT, WHEN GOLD is ‘COMPLETED’/ ‘PROCESS’: it IS a thing of BEAUTY!

    • Kimberly,

      I appreciate your heart and your passion for fighting for marriages. A couple of comments above, you wondered aloud if your voice was welcome since it might differ from the popular view. . . The answer is yes, your voice is welcome and important, even if it looks different than someone else’s. I love that you were wanting to offer comfort and hope to those in pain. Prayerfully yours, HLP

  21. I’m in the midst of a separation from my husband. I was sure it was actually going to be a divorce but God is working in both of us. I have hope for our future. Yes, there is risk but pain creates change and any change within us that is part of God’s plan is a good change. I am opening myself up to new experiences and experiences. Saying you trust the Lord and actually doing it are two very different things. Each new change has made me trust in Him a little more. I hope to make Him first and my marriage second.

    • Jeanine, “But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.” Psalm 71:14 came to mind when I read your words. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your hope. I pray there is complete healing and restoration for you and your husband. And if not, I hope you will rest in the assurance of being cherished by your Creator and His being with you. I also pray for wisdom. Wisdom for both of us, in small things & in big decisions. Wisdom to guide us and the courage to move forward. 🙂

  22. Hey Heather! I’ve been reading (in)courage for a long time but have never actually wrote a comment 🙂 But the story you shared – it was once my story. And I don’t think I’ll ever forget that there was so much pain, loneliness, and fear. I had no idea what was ahead or how long it would take to feel like a normal person again. For people to start identifying me with who I was and not as a woman that had her husband leave her. For weeks I didn’t know if I could breathe. I remember diving more deeply with God than I ever had. I was so desperate for Him. I knew I was truly being refined in the fire. I could see changes in myself that were powerful. But I literally had to give my future back to God about 10 times a day! I just kept picking it back up and trying to take control. Or I just wanted to hold it and wallow in my fear and sadness. It was a long process. But every day just kept getting a little easier. And God brought really amazing people and purpose to my life – including my husband of 6 years. I’m so thankful you’re a writer and are writing out this journey because then one day you will look back and see what a beautiful journey it was. I’m saying a prayer for you now and look forward to see what God does in you through this! P.S. I also discovered a serious love of Danish Wedding Cookies!! (Beware of them! 🙂 )

    • I am honored to be your first comment! wow, thanks!! I am sorry to hear my story was once your story but am uplifted by hearing from one who has walked ahead of me and has much joy to share. Thank you for your support, kindness, and prayer. There is more I could say but admit to being tight on time. By the way, clicked on link to your name — AMAZING photography. 🙂 Grateful for your words!

  23. Hi Heather,

    Thank you for your post. God does indeed place the lonely in families. That is one of my favorite verses. I have been lonely lately, going to parks and gardens by myself, but the Lord has been walking with me. My loneliness is that of widowhood (16 years now, since I was almost 40). My church has become my family, and it is a real blessing. But it is still hard in a world that is often very couples-oriented.

    The words of a song by Gloria Gaither come to mind:

    Something beautiful, something good;
    All my confusion He understood.
    All I had to offer Him
    Was brokenness and strife,
    But He made something beautiful of my life.

    And,

    “But I trust in You, O Lord;
    I say “You are my God.”
    My times are in Your hands

    ✽ Psalm 31:14-15

    • Sweet Ann,

      I mistakenly reply to the comment below yours but intended this for you:

      Captivated . . . is the word that came to my mind concerning you. As you walk with Him, he is captivated by you. Adores you. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I am grateful for your reminder of Him making something beautiful out of my life. I long for this truth, for my life to be something beautiful.

  24. After a feeling-lonely kind of day your words refreshed my heart, Heather! Thank you! And I loved seeing you encourage your sisters in the comments too. Keep sharing your words with the world, girl. They’re needed (and you are too)!

    • Captivated . . . is the word that came to my mind concerning you. As you walk with Him, he is captivated by you. Adores you. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I am grateful for your reminder of Him making something beautiful out of my life. I long for this truth, for my life to be something beautiful.

      • LOL! I am so clearly new at this.
        Holley, I meant the above post for Ann but mistakenly replied to your comment.

        Whoops! Of course, I had to laugh especially because I realized who you are. You know you are famous right?? I am honored and encouraged by your comment. You are strong and clearly a natural equipper, one who loves to see others fulfill all God has created them to be. Inspiring. I want to be like you when I grow up. But I guess the point is I am supposed to be like me when I grow up. 🙂 Have a wonderful day and thank you for being open about your own moments of loneliness.

  25. Love you Heather. I am see God’s glory through all this. He loves you so very much. Thanks for your wonderful sharings.

  26. Heather,
    I am in awe. Your words you were gracious enough to share with us are spirit filled! Your heart is open and vulnerable. Thank you for allowing our Hevanly Father to use your pain and trails to uphold and encourage others. My day has been set forth with a new sense of wonder and purpose. None of our trails are in vain. Thank you for being his holy vessel…

    • And thank you, your words uplifted me this morning and reminded me of truth — nothing in vain. I pray for wonder and purpose for both of us today.

  27. Thank you Heather for this honesty. Each of our situations is unique. But if we let it drive us into His grace then it’s all worth it. He is able to make us new as we fix our attention on Him instead of our circumstances. Learning this too and loving the imagery of the bench. Haha. I’ve just spent days away with sister-friends white water rafting on the river, sharing deep. So good!

    • Adore the “drive us into His grace” statement! So true and awe-inspiring. His grace, that is where I want to be. 🙂 Glad you had a precious time on the river.

  28. God willed divorce in Ezra when tr Israelites married against his will, causing the chosen people to be made unholy. In Ezra, God commands them to “put away” their foreign wives and yes, even the children born into those marriages. The “put away” God commands is the same word in Hebrew used when people say “God hates divorce” (putting away.) Commentators agree no, divorce is never the plan, but when something greater is at stake (in the isrealite’s case and in many instances, our own), their spiritual future would be lost. When we are in any kind of abusive marriage with someone who is not living under the will of God and that person chooses to leave, scripture states we are free. Many of us fight to the death only to be left standing alone (without our spouse) and depending on the county and state, sometimes only one party is needed to get the divorce after a period of time ends. Sometimes it is out of our hands and that is when our hands are left open for mercy and grace and healing.

  29. Heather,

    Absolutely loved your writing. I feel it is a wonderful gift from God and it has encouraged me. Your words just flowed off the page for me. Please know that you are in my prayers for complete healing from the pain.

    Precious Father,

    Please bless Heather and her family. Help her see the way through the dark mire of emptiness, and loneliness. Surround her with your loving arms. Shower her with your grace and mercy!

    AMEN!

  30. Thank you so much for this word. I really needed it. I can’t even begin to explain how lonely I am. I love the Lord, and I know He loves me; the same with my children, even though they are almost grown. But as I just returned from a vacation with my daughter, I am lonely again. For a girlfriend, a husband, a bestie. sigh. I work full time, have a million acquaintances, even lead a life group, women’s ministries, etc. I run a crisis pregnancy center, help everyone all of the time, but…..when push comes to shove, when I call someone to assist (extremely rare) or to go for coffee or for a walk, they are ALWAYS too busy. Married friends don’t want to socialize with single women. Most single women I know are lonely, busy, etc. Too busy for friendships, but not me. I am very appreciative of my life and it’s blessings, but always am longing for friendship.

  31. As mentioned above, Bench Flooded By Water was my first online post. At the recommendation of a friend, I stepped out in faith to post a second one at heatherpowell2008.wordpress.com. If you read, may it speak truth to your heart today.