About the Author

Brandy Bruce is a mom to two adorable children; she's also a wife, a book editor, a writer, and someone who really loves dessert.

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  1. Thanks for being honest and vulnerable. I am thankful that God has led me to a Celebrate Recovery group where I can be honest. It is very freeing. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

  2. Our church is going through a study called “The Cure” and it is all about what you just said: being real. Taking the mask off and accepting grace and trusting God rather than working hard to do good works to please God and putting on a mask to make it all look good. Very timely post, thank you.

  3. Being real requires a courage that somedays it just feels too hard to muster. And it feels too scary to be real, other days. It is a gift to have friendships that allow us to throw that courage on and be real as we are able. There is too much Messy in life to pretend. I think the deepest friendships happen because of our willingness to be brave and be real. What an encouragement to do just that!

  4. I think this is why it’s hard for people to have real, genuine friendships. It requires honesty and vulnerability, and it’s so, so hard to let our guard down and allow people inside our real and messy lives. Thank you for this! I needed to read this today!

    • I totally agree, Aimee. I think it’s hard to have real, genuine friendships because of the vulnerability and trust. And it’s such a blessing when you actually do find a friend you can be real with.

  5. Thank you for all these beautiful comments! It’s nice to feel understood, isn’t it? That’s part of the risk of being real. Your encouragement is a blessing to me!

  6. Thank you for showing us that we aren’t alone, and that marriage is a wonderful struggle for everyone! I had a similar situation in my marriage, and YES! god was there to pick me up, and I feel closer to God now than ever before in my life! I truly believe that God made a curve in the road, and lead me to him so that my marriage could get stronger. Thank you for this post, it’s good to know we’re not alone! <3

  7. Beautiful. True. And yes, me too! I love especially what you said about how our lives can look like a highlights reel by what we put out there, and because everyone else is doing the same, when the brokenness of our lives overpowers the perceived blessings, we can feel like the only one out there who’s struggling.

    Thanks for being real and encouraging the rest of us to do the same.

  8. Brandy, thanks for being real with your friend and with us too. We’re all paradoxes–messy and glorious, stumbling and standing tall, filled with faith and forever just figuring it out. I’m so glad we can be all of those together.

  9. It’s wonderful to see God meeting us in our brokenness, and bring beautiful out of desperate and ugly. Thanks for sharing so vulnerably, Brandy. May the Lord continue to work in your marriage to make it a closer reflection of His love for the church. Blessings.

    • To Brandy,and all others who commented on her message:
      I have struggled with doubt, but God has always picked me up. I have been told that it is in our brokenness that He does His greatest work in us. God has blessed me with the most wonderful friends anyone could want- they encourage me because of His Love. My husband of 34 years went home to the Lord not so very long ago, but although I miss him terribly I know that He is in the hands of God who sent His Son Jesus Christ to die in our place so that we might have eternal life. May the Lord bless you all in your marriages and your daily lives. Live for Him!

  10. I would love to be real with friends and family about the difficulties I’m facing right now in my marriage, but they have all turned their backs on me for wanting to work on my marriage. My husband is in prison ~ one year and one day ~ and will be home in October. 2012 was a horrible year for us. I got a cancer diagnosis and made the decision to leave a job that was causing me so much stress, my fibromyalgia was making me almost unable to function. My husband got a job offer back “home” and so he left ahead of me to start work. By the time I got here the promised job had fallen through. The day I had my cancer surgery, our only car was repo’d, making it difficult to find work for either of us. He made a bad decision one night in a desperate attempt to take care of me, and was sentenced based on a lie. I was without a vehicle for six months, and didn’t find a part-time job for another two months. Because I continue to stand by him, and believe in him, friends and family have walked away from us. It has been so difficult for me trying to survive on what little I make, and feeling as if I am so alone. But we both have grown stronger in our faith, and our marriage has become stronger as well. God has provided for us again and again, and has never turned His back on us or forsaken us.

    • Cindi-

      Praying for you now. I have no answers even though being in my own messes (special needs child/cancer/depression/rough season of marriage). Hold on to that last line of your comment, “God has provided for us again and again, and has never turned His back on us or forsaken us.” I know sometimes that’s all we’re holding on to.
      -Ann

    • Cindi-

      Praying for you and your family!

      Precious Lord-Please swoop down & surround Cindi with your warm, loving arms. Shower her with love, grace & mercy. Show her how you are bringing her and hubby back to you!

      AMEN!

  11. Can I just say that you’re so very brave to open up and share? You are! And to share here – where words reach out to touch and help so many others? The seasons of life include both triumph and trial – in marriage, in motherhood, in friendship, and even in faith. But He is faithful and He is with us – even in (maybe especially in?) the trying times. Thank you for reminding me that even in this – He is there.

    ~Peace,
    LuAnne

  12. Brandy,
    Thank you for being brave enough to allow us into your messes! We all need encouragement to share the mess in our lives and I did just that a week or so ago and immediately felt SO RELIEVED! The people in the prayer chapel anointed me with oil and prayed for me. Most importantly, they all laid hands on me…I needed that human contact.

    Blessings to you, as you bring blessings to others!

  13. @Cindi, I’m lifting up you and your husband in prayer right now. Part of my prayer is that you will find a church that will welcome you both and support your marriage. I attend one that does, so I know they exist.
    @Brandy, thank you for your willingness to be open, and may we have the courage to follow and the discretion to know when.

  14. Brandy,

    Wow! Thank you so much for being open and honest both with us and your friend. It is so important to have true friends with whom we can be totally open and honest. People in churches should be able to do this, but often that is not the case, unfortunately!

    I pray all of you find a true friend that you can be open with. Someone who will listen without judgment & love you unconditionally!