About the Author

Shadowwonder prefers coffee to tea, cabins to castles, rumpled to starched, quiet to chaos, sunshine to snow. She is wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, teacher, learner, writer, reader, listener, story-sharer, doubter, hoper, flaw-confesser and forgiveness-rejoicer.

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  1. God seems to remind me of His hand in the craziness of life with out-of-the-blue thankful words and actions from my children when I am feeling like a failing parent.

  2. God seems to remind me of His hand in the craziness of life with out-of-the-blue thankful words and actions from my children when I am feeling like a failing parent.

    • Jg–

      Like you, I love (and need!) those glimpses of His gracious presence-in-the-midst-of-chaos.

      I never tire of the palpable reminders that He really, truly does cover over our rough edges . . . . even mine.

      Praying blessings for your life today. 🙂

    • Kim–
      Isn’t it a relief when someone else articulates something you’ve been thinking and feeling? I know I’m always grateful when that happens. Thanks for letting me know. . . . .

  3. I’ve been wanting to quit my day job and this seems to be a Word saying “stay”.

  4. Paula–
    Thank you for the kind words. I think I said already that it’s such a relief to hear . . . or read 🙂 . . . someone else articulating something I’ve been thinking or feeling.
    Blessings to you this day!

  5. How did you know? Going thru a season of trials, a definite wilderness, I feel so like your poem reads! Thank you for the encouragement to look beyond the difficulties and emotions to the Lord that is always in control. He calls to me through your words today and I feel so much lighter!! Thank you for sharing good words, good more so because they are so true!!

  6. I’ve been holding back tears all day and then I read this…That voice saying “go” is awful loud!

    • Melissa–
      Oh, I know that feeling well . . . praying now that there will be space to let the tears flow if they need to, and that you’ll find renewal and courage this day!
      Cyber-hug to you . . . .

  7. Maria–
    What a sweet encouragement your note gives me! Thank you for posting, and I’ll pray now that you’ll continue to be renewed, moment by moment.
    Blessings to you today!

  8. Escape. Give Up. Stop fighting and trying. Opt out.

    There are days when I wonder if the fight is worth it. Our oldest daughter is so challenging. She is so smart and molding that brilliance from something that can be incredibly unkind and surgical in her assessment of situations and people is so hard. Every day there is some new SOMETHING to deal with.

    My ex-husband, her father, wants her to come and live with him. I know this would be the complete starvation of her faith and, for so many other reasons, the cruelest thing I could do to her and so I flatly refuse. And he twists her in knots, trying to manipulate her youth to serve his agenda and turn her against us; the only true family she has.

    I know he will lose interest in her one day, when she is no longer willing to believe the delusion of his cotton candy approach to parenting.

    But, in the middle of another day when I hear how difficult she’s being at school, or right after she’s slammed the door in my face AGAIN, it occurs to me that maybe I’m the one being selfish. Maybe I should just give up and give in and let him have her.

    It drives me to my knees. Grief and guilt overwhelm me that I would even consider giving up on her. I beg God to give me strength and wisdom. I pray she understands that we are doing the very best we can and, even if we make mistakes (which I feel like I do EVERY SINGLE DAY), we love her to the moon and back.

    And, in that moment, God reaches out and quiets my heart and reminds me of how sweet she is with her little sister. And how gentle she is with her pets. And how she still wants to climb up in my chair with me and snuggle. And the shadows that, just moments before, whisper of my failure seem to dissipate for a while. And I get up and try again.

    • Fridaynightgirl,

      Saying a prayer for you right now!

      Blessed Lord–help this woman and her daughter. It can be soo tough raising teenagers. Lord, give her the strength and encouragement to keep on keeping on and shower her with your grace, mercy and love!!

      AMEN!

    • Oh, Fridaynightgirl . . . .
      The pain you feel comes through so clearly in your post, and I can only imagine that so many of us mamas have experienced similar feelings . . . . But what a wonderful and beautiful part of the story–that you allow the hardships to compel you to your knees, and to our Father. And what sweet comfort He is giving.
      That’s one of the reasons I’ve chosen shadowwonder as my blog’s name; I think it’s so important for all of us (and especially believers) to acknowledge times of darkness as well as the times of wonder. After all, both of those experiences are part of our days here.
      Thanks for being vulnerable. I’m saying a prayer for you, and for your family.

  9. Shadowwonder,

    Did you ever read my mind lately!! 🙂

    My clinic job has changed drastically since we went to EMR, electronic health records. I no longer do much with patient including paperwork, but instead do all of the scanning in a room by myself. Add to that our new director doesn’t seem to care much for me. I have left the office on more than one occasion crying my eyes outt.

    I have shouted, although quietly, I just want to quit–leave–get out of this situation! Leave this here and now!

    I have prayed about this much and God has sent me messages. One such message was Dr. Stanley’s “Staying Courageous when you want to quit”. It hit home hard!! 🙂

    • Oh, Fridaynightgirl . . . .
      The pain you feel comes through so clearly in your post, and I can only imagine that so many of us mamas have experienced similar feelings . . . . But what a wonderful and beautiful part of the story–that you allow the hardships to compel you to your knees, and to our Father. And what sweet comfort He is giving.
      That’s one of the reasons I’ve chosen shadowwonder as my blog’s name; I think it’s so important for all of us (and especially believers) to acknowledge times of darkness as well as the times of wonder. After all, both of those experiences are part of our days here.
      Thanks for being vulnerable, and saying a prayer for you, and for your family.

    • Sorry Beth–
      I’m not too swift on the replying . . . 🙂
      I’m going to pray that God will continue to share His wisdom with you, and that He’ll give you strength for each new day.
      Thanks for reading . . . . and blessings to you!

  10. I’m in a place stretched thin. Crisis, trauma with two, whom are my heart beating outside my body…. I thought, in the nighttime hours, that if only I weren’t here, nobody would get hurt. But, oh how I’d hurt them, if I go! I I have to stay; keep saying ‘stay in the game’. So, instead, I follow that nudging, “Let go…” Instead of going, I just Let go.

    • True words . . . . Praying now that you will find the strength to hold on, minute by minute. And remember that you, and your loved ones, are being held in His mighty and loving hands.
      Blessings, and hugs too . . . .

  11. The beauty in the abiding, it’s available always, if we’ll just stay. This post speaks right into my heart, too. Reading through the comments above, it would seem you touched on a nerve within many of us. And soothed it. Thank you.

  12. O, thank you!! God is speaking directly to me through this poem you have written. I am struggling in parenting, struggling with my husband, struggling in the relationship with my daughter…feeling like all I ever want to do is escape. How much easier it would be to wipe the slate clean and begin anew? I keep telling myself, “God has a plan.” I fill myself with scripture and inspiration that reiterate that to me. Thank you for one more message that reminds me that God DOES in fact have a plan…I am just in a waitig season.

  13. Tracey . . .

    What wisdom and courage you have by continuing to remind yourself of truth: that our Father is completely aware of your circumstances and has a bigger plan. That’s a discipline *I* need to practice more consistently, so thank you for your reminder.

    Saying a prayer right now for you–perseverance, renewal, and peace through the moments of your day.

  14. Thank you for your words. They came at a time in my life when I was looking for answers to my prayers, and God answered them at the 11th hour as He usually does. I felt like you knew me and that somehow you had gotten into my head and written these words for me, from me, to me. The answer wasn’t easy to hear, but I desperately want to be obedient to Him and be the person He created me to be. Thanks for sharing your beautiful gift of words.