The wind rushes the length of my street, stirs the shiny green leaves of the laurel and the delicate red-tinged crabapple, setting berries to shimmy like dangly earrings.
The wind brushes between my socks and the hem of my pants, cues the chimes to play.
I know the wind is real, but I believe in it fresh when I see it and behold evidence that it’s moving.
Many years ago in a nearly empty café, I wrote line after painful line, stomach churning over my inability to express myself the way I desired. That day God spoke to me through my own pen that I needed to write, and he would take care of the rest.
God stirred.
At the age of 18, God told me I’d marry a wonderful boy. A few months later, the wonderful boy broke up with me.
Six years later, we married.
God moved.
Fifteen years ago, on a college mission trip, I cleaned rooms in a trash-filled, bloodstained single-room occupancy hotel in San Francisco. I felt deep inside the pain of those who lived there, along with an unfathomable peace. I felt the stirring of God’s message: he had chosen me for painful work, walking alongside the broken and hurting.
God rushes, God brushes, God speaks, God nudges. Sometimes in the pebbles of everyday circumstances thrown in water, rippling in slow motion circles; other times with rocks placed right here, creating monuments of remembrance that we heard his voice.
But what of the times all seems still, when we don’t see or feel God moving. What of these times we wait?
For the promised child? Our mission field? The dreams we barely dare speak?
As I’ve waited for God to bring to life my heart’s dreams – many still unfulfilled – I’ve been encouraged by David, who waited more than 20 years between his anointing as Israel’s king and the day of his rule.
Sometimes waiting is learning to walk faith new. Sometimes waiting is preparing. Sometimes, we don’t know the why. Regardless, what might we learn through the example of David?
As David awaited his kingship, he served in small and large ways – whether caring for his father’s sheep, playing harp to soothe the troubled King Saul, serving his brothers on the battlefield or slaying the giant, Goliath.
How are you serving? Do you find it hard to remember God blesses not only great acts of valor, but also the everyday small done in love?
As David waited, he submitted to God and trusted in the Lord’s timing – though he experienced times of tremendous fear, loneliness and confusion. Even when jealous King Saul sought to kill him, David refused to take the life of the king, believing God knew better. David made significant mistakes along the way, but he returned over and again to his God.
Has opposition from others caused you to lose hope? Are you struggling to make your way back to God? Do you find yourself scheming or mustering strength to bring about his calling?
Lastly, as David waited, he sought God in prayer, proclaiming his goodness. In Psalm 59 (believed to be written during one of Saul’s murderous pursuits), David described the Lord as “Protector,” “Savior,” “Almighty,” “Fortress” and “Loving God.”
Do you believe God loves you and is mighty to bring about what he desires in your life? What quality of God can you proclaim while you wait?
Today, friends, whether you see winds blow, or whether all seems still, may you experience afresh God’s breath as you serve him, seek him and submit to his love that leads.
By Ashley Larkin, Draw Near.
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When you don’t know how to wait – at (in)courage | Draw Near says
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kindy miller says
hi ash! this was a beautiful example of Gods presence. such a good reminder to me as it has been so windy this spring….next time it comes whipping by i will think of Him. so true. thanks for always writing about what really matters and what our days here are suppose to be focused on. i love your words & i am so proud of you for being obedient when you felt that “wind” stirring you to write….that He had adventure in store for you. xoxo kindy
Ashley @ Draw Near says
I am so grateful for all the ways God makes his presence known — reminders of his love, power and grace are everywhere in this natural world. Thank you for cheering me on, buddy. I know he continues to have such good adventures in store for you, too.
Bev Duncan@ Walking Well With God says
Ashley,
What beautiful words. While I wait, the Lord is my refuge. I find comfort, safety, security and love under His wings. I may not always feel him while I wait, but I know from years of learning how to wait that He is always near. He never forsakes me.
Blessings,
Bev
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Bev, your words ring so true. Thank you for this wisdom. How I love those verses about the shelter under his wings. Your point about not always feeling God is such a good one. It can be easy to believe in his presence only when we feel it. Regardless, as you say, he never forsakes us. I am so grateful for that because I can sure be a fickle one.
Rebecca says
Ash,
I’ve learned that waiting is a practice. I have not become better at waiting but my faith and trust has expanded. I’m slower to doubt or question his love for me or mighty plan. I love those words of yours. It is about trusting his love for me and his might to work a good plan for my life. Your words paint a visual picture in my mind of trusting that he is moving … fresh as a wind.
Love you!
Rebecca
Ashley @ Draw Near says
I love you, my friend. “Waiting is a practice” — I will remember that. I so appreciate what you say about not becoming “better” at waiting because I think that is what I expect. As you say, our coming closer to him and trusting in him is the fruit of this faithful (though imperfect) staying close, though we may not see his purposes and plans. And what gift that is.
Andee Z says
“How are you serving? Do you find it hard to remember God blesses not only great acts of valor, but also the everyday small done in love?”
This. This is what I need to read. And after the Faith & Culture conference this weekend, I once again remembered that this is why I began writing in the first place. Thanks for capturing the words that need to be part of my daily prayer.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Andee, it was a joy to meet you at the conference — if even just for a few moments. May you know the joy of the everyday small done in love. Keep writing, sister. He is most assuredly doing a good work in you.
Antoinette says
As always Ashley…I so love the way in which you express spiritual truths through use of the elements of our everyday. Whether or not we feel the wind, the air stirs. Whether or not we hear the answers or see the proof of it, God moves and IS moving in our lives. Your language is beautiful, always; your insight and wisdom, God’s gift to you, your gift to us. How could I be more grateful that when God nudged you to write those years ago in that coffee shop, you heeded?
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Thank you, Mama. 🙂 How I love the way God speaks to us through the elements of the everyday, as you say. It’s one of my very most favorite things about walking on this earth. And so glad I get to walk it with you.
Anonymous says
Ash,
Our house is amidst a hurricane right now! I so needed this today. Thank you for the reminder that there is much to learn in windy and calm times. I’m going to stop, pray and have a quiet time right now. Then I’m going to find the beauty in today’s wind.
So glad you had a wonderful time at the writer’s convention/retreat. Praying each one you attend will make the vision that much more clear. You are so very talented!!
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Thank you for your very kind words. I pray you were able to truly receive the good of the place you are right this moment and take deep within you God’s love for you. And even if the storm roars, and even if you roar with it, may you still know that love.
Mia says
Dear Ashley
I never could understand all through these years I have been studying apologetics. I had a passion to do this. Now I know, for Pappa uses my pen to earnestly contend for the sweet gospel of grace in plain words that everyone can understand. My husband used to shake his head all those hours I spent in the past studying those scholarly works and even enjoyed doing it. I am glad for you for the privilege of attending the conferences.
Blessings and love
Mia
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Dear Mia, I am grateful to know that piece of your journey. How beautiful the ways God weaves together our loves and gifts into glory. Bless you, friend.
Kari Patterson says
I LOVE YOU! You are such a beautiful writer and thank you for sharing this. I often don’t know how to wait. 🙂 I love you, my friend.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
I love you, Kari. I have much to learn about this myself. My sweet kidlets give me much opportunity every day to practice. 🙂
marina says
Beautifully said!! We are all waiting for *something* – so let’s not waste that time away…
Thanks for sharing!!
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Isn’t that true, Marina?! So little time and yet, in the midst of it, we can feel like we’ve been waiting lifetimes. I want to keep remembering how to spend my time during the wait so as not to waste it away.
Jenni says
I love the visual of the rocks and the water. Most often it is about waiting…the older I get the more I understand this…and then I forget…and then I remember again. Thanks for helping me to remember.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Thank you for reminding me, too, Jen. I can be so impatient, and so I’m thankful for all the ways you help me remember to wait and wait well.
Alexandra Kuykendall says
You wait well Ashley. Your life says it. More than just words written. I remember waiting for jobs, houses and babies together. And then even this year I said “let’s go on a trip together, a writing trip” and you said “wait”. And in just a few days the fruit of the waiting will happen and we’ll be together. Even better than I could have imagined because you said “even thought it’s hard right now, let’s wait.”
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Wow, thank you, friend. I have much to learn still about waiting, but it’s always good to remember from whence I’ve come. And from whence you’ve come. I cannot wait to see you…’twill be worth the wait!
Angela says
Ashley,
Ahh, the topic of waiting, as all human kind can relate. The waiting in the small and grandiose ways, the tension is at times heartbreaking.
Thank you so much for the reminder, pulling us back to God’s ultimate goodness…yes, “the Lord as “Protector,” “Savior,” “Almighty,” “Fortress” and “Loving God.”
The life is the Grand Waiting, no?
And what hope we have in store for us!
Thank you Ashley, you always seem to break through the details and shine a light on Truth!
Ashley @ Draw Near says
You are so right, my friend. What hope we have at the end of this “Grand Waiting!” So beyond anything we can imagine. How incredible it will be to wait no more — our Protector, Savior, Almighty, Fortress, Loving God… the incarnation of every Hope right before us.
Cornelia Seigneur (@CorneliSeigneur) says
Ashley- this is a beautiful reminder to us. We need to wait and when we wait we have to trust and whether God “rushes, God brushes, God speaks, God nudges” He is still God and we need to trust. Sometimes people think that if God does not answer the way they want (immediately) then He is not listening. This post reminds us that He is listening no matter how/when He answers. I love this quote, after the part about how sometimes God rushes, brushes, speaks, nudges, that: “Sometimes in the pebbles of everyday circumstances thrown in water, rippling in slow motion circles; other times with rocks placed right here, creating monuments of remembrance that we heard his voice.” As I’ve said from day 1 of reading your writing, you are poetical. Thank you for sharing your sweet beautiful heart. – Your fellow WriterMom friend, Cornelia
Ashley @ Draw Near says
It can be so difficult to believe he hears us when we don’t “see” the evidence, yet we can be assured that he has an answer. And so often, it seems, the answer is in him –growing closer to him in trust, drawing nearer his presence, recognizing his great love for us, regardless the answer.
Kim says
Hi Ashley – I came over here from the (in)courage writer’s group. You are speaking right to my heart today. I have done a whole lot of waiting in my life, and God has taught me so much through it. But right now I’m waiting for several “big dreams” (a dream to serve Him in ministry full time, a dream to leave NYC, a dream to start our family) and sometimes the waiting is soooo hard. I saw a message from one of my favorite pastors last month that talked about David’s waiting, too. And I love the idea of praising Him in the wilderness so to speak. But I’m super grateful for these words of encouragement when the waiting seems to go on and on. Thank you for sharing!
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Kim, I’m so glad you found encouragement here today and that it echoed the pastor’s sermon you heard last month. I so appreciate when God does that for me. It is a joy to get to know you through (in)courage. Sounds like you have many dreams and hopes of dreams on the horizon. I’m praying for you right now in the wait. May you know God’s presence ever closer as you continue living day by day, and draw nearer to him in faith.
Lesley says
Your post today is incredible in how closely it touches my story of waiting. I am in a season in which I am seeking discernment from the Lord about a promise, but at one point He spoke through the scripture about the time between David’s anointing and the fulfillment. Indeed, its a promise that I keep hidden in my heart, one in which seems silly when uttered aloud because it makes little sense to my limited understanding. I thank you for the encouragement to keep trusting in the Lord’s promises even in the face of doubts and insecurities.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Wow, Lesley — I so appreciate you sharing a piece of your story here. May his word hidden in your heart continue to breathe life into you, providing encouragement in your wait, dear one. And may you know the depths and consistency of his love, regardless of what stage of the journey you find yourself. Bless you!
Mags says
“God rushes, God brushes, God speaks, God nudges. Sometimes in the pebbles of everyday circumstances thrown in water, rippling in slow motion circles; other times with rocks placed right here, creating monuments of remembrance that we heard his voice.”
Thanks for the reminder that God speaks in so many ways — in the quiet, in the loud. May I be able to hear Him regardless of the “volume” or size of the stone. 🙂
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Regardless of the volume or size…I love that, friend!
julia says
My beautiful friend. Ah…naturally you speak to me again. How difficult it has been for me to wait, how many times there have been when I thought for sure no one was listening, that I would never find a way to use my gifts in this life…but I kept moving forward, toward love, toward what was stirring in me. And now, looking back, I can see clearly why it all had to be just as it was. I see that His timing is always just right.
“That day God spoke to me through my own pen that I needed to write, and he would take care of the rest.”
I am so very thankful that you listened, beautiful writer – treasured one.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Oh, Julia, I am so proud of you for the steps of courage you have taken and are taking. For doing the next thing you knew to do. For paying attention to the stirring and the voice of love greater than fear. Isn’t it amazing — the gift of looking back and seeing “why it all had to be just as it was?” God has such beautiful plans for you, my friend!
Jessica says
Such a beautiful expression of the waiting. I pray we all have eyes to see and hearts that soak up every detail of the waiting as you have. I believe those details of the journey are often more important than that for which we wait. Thank you for this encouragement!
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Isn’t that true?! “The details of the journey are often more important than that for which we wait.” Yes – particularly if the journey is about growing closer to God so that he shines more beautifully through us. And I echo your prayer, Jessica!
Gretchen says
Thank you for this post Ashley. I needed it very much and felt God speak to me through your words. Thank you for writing this and allowing God to speak through your writing. Blessings to you Ashley.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Gretchen, I’m so glad for your presence. Your words bless me, and I’m thankful that God used part of my journey to encourage you. I pray you know God’s nearness today.
Amber C. says
As usual, beautiful friend, God speaks and stirs in you, and you pour out, and we hear him, too – and we are stirred. There was a time I felt God had called me to painful work, walking alongside the broken and hurting… this, it stirred me. I ‘see’ you in the way you write, living this out, and I know that how you write and how you live are more alike than not. I am so grateful you responded to the call to write and I love the journey you’ve been on and the one you’re walking today and I anticipate watching it unfold more steps along the way. I love you, sister.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
I think we are so much alike – you and I. How grateful I am that he called us both to write…it’s the path he used to draw us together. And I must say, dear Amber, I see how you are walking alongside the broken and hurting every day. It just seems to be who you are. Your depth and sensitivity, you — so very beautiful in him.
Alia Joy says
Ashley, I’m just coming off of this beautiful weekend and I’m so glad that God called you out, set you apart with words and made you a writer and that our paths crossed. I am blessed to know you. I know so well the long obedience and the waiting and how easy it is to forget the miraculous movements of God in the mundane drone of everyday life but I know that in every season, He is at work. Always. Love you, friend. Thanks for sharing your heart, your life, your home, and your words.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
I am thankful to call you a friend, Alia. Grateful for ways God is using the extraordinary and the ordinary and the miraculous and mundane to make us more like himself. Yes, friend — he is always at work. I love you.
Josef Kruger says
Great, great article. Especially for those of us for whom the virtue of patience is hard to attain and continue practicing. To wait in faith with peace is to truly believe in the power and wisdom of God, while keeping one’s heart open for His breath and love to be an everlasting and calming presence.
Thank you,
JK
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Your words here are so profound, Josef. “To wait in faith with peace is to truly believe in the wisdom of God.” Amen! And as you said, part of the challenge in this is to keep our hearts open — soft, tender, responsive, so that we can hear and respond to his leadings…sometimes recognizing how different they are than what we imagined. Thank you for your words today. Yes, may we know afresh the love he breathes into us, day by day by day.
Beth Williams says
For the promised child? Our mission field? The dreams we barely dare speak?
I’ve been waiting on God to show me a new/different job. Someplace I will be happy & content with. Like you said “Sometimes waiting is learning to walk faith new, Sometimes waiting is preparing,” I am working on walking by faith and not by sight and to try to be prepared for whatever He has in store for me.
The Stephen C Chapman song “Do Everything” is my theme song. The chorus in there states “Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long as you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you, Cause he made you, To do Every little thing that you do To bring a smile to His face Tell the story of grace With every move that you make And every little thing you do.
In my wait. I’m submitting to God & His timing. “For I know the plans I have for you saith the Lord.” “Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I truly believe in prayer. My prayers are for Thanksgiving to God, for others, and for God to either change my job situation or change me!
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Beth, I just checked back on this piece and saw your comment here. I’m so sorry I missed it before! Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your journey. I would love to know where you are in this search for a new job…I realize it’s been months since you wrote this comment. I’m saying a prayer right now for you — that you would know the peace and direction of God and that you would continue to find strength in drawing near to his all-powerful love.
Toya says
Hi Ashley,
I am new here to (in)courage and this community. This post really blessed me because I am in a place of waiting. I feel that most of my life has been waiting. I trust the Lord but I feel weary. This post has brought me encouragment. Thanks. MAy the Lord continue to bless you.
Ashley @ Draw Near says
Toya, I’m so sorry that I missed your comment until now — many months after you left it. I’m so glad you’ve found your way to this (in)courage community and were encouraged by this offering. I hope you experience the love and welcome here at (in)courage that I have…we are all so glad you are here!
I hear your weariness, dear sister. Yes, the wait can be so exhausting. I am praying for you right now, that you would experience being lifted up on God’s wings, that you would continue to run and not grow weary in his strength. Bless you, and thank you so much for your words.