“Your greatest contribution to the kingdom you may be tucking in bed each night.” -Wes Stafford
Here is what I remember of my every days as a child:
Bologna sandwhiches and Full House.
Having to play cars with my brother.
Picking up sticks.
Washing the bathtub.
Mac & Cheese or Beefaroni dinners.
Eating alone, while watching T.V.
Playing with friends.
Playing alone in my room.
I have no recollection of any intentional time being spent on me as a child. Time that involved teaching me, nurturing my soul, walking alongside me, explaining life in gentle, age-appropriate ways, engaging with my life and my thoughts and my troubles. This isn’t a slam on my parents so much as it is a commentary to how many families “raise” their children, not knowing how to parent intentionally, being tired or overwhelmed, or too busy, or who knows what. The problem is, I want to raise my kids; I want to guide them and teach them and walk with them and talk with them and get all Deuteronomy with them. Because it matters.
But y’all, I’m floundering most of the time. I have no model, no memories to pull from, no anchors, no memorials. I don’t say this to have an excuse, I say this as fact. It is now my responsibility to change my family legacy, and I’m while I’m a fast learner, I’m a slow doer, because it’s all new-for-me “doing.”
Last week, it dawned on me that since my children became old enough to manage most daily tasks on their own, I’ve been a mostly passive parent. I let them watch T.V. when they want (because they know how to put on a movie), grab snacks, play, and generally make it through the day with really needing me. And that’s the thing, kids can survive without parents in the everyday. Many kids are doing just that all over the world, because they have to. Some are just simply neglected and left to essentially raise themselves while mom is busy doing whatever she’s doing either in the home or outside it (stay-at-home moms aren’t exempt – they can be too busy online or cleaning or doing crafts or whatever that keeps them from engaging). My kiddos were on that trajectory, because I thought they were fine. But friends, kids aren’t fine left to idle time without mom or a caregiver around. They need us; they need our guiding and interrupting and boundaries and they should not be responsible for themselves.
Playing is good. Playing without it being observable or interruptible isn’t good.
Children being capable of taking care of themselves is good. Children being capable of taking care of themselves without any instruction, responsibility or loving guidance isn’t good.
If we want to raise emotionally and spiritually healthy children that turn into emotionally and spiritually healthy adults, we have got to give our time to the work. Children will have enough battles to face, enough tragedy to deal with, and enough junk that the very least…no, the very best and kind and good and responsible thing to do is to help them through their life, which is of course by being their and guiding and investing in their days. This is our opportunity; parenting is kingdom work.
And while we can only lead so far (we cannot save a soul), we can be around. We can be intentional. We can give of ourselves in order to protect and nurture and love and raise our children well (not perfectly, of course) for the glory of God and for their own sake, so they can walk in this world free and secure.
Moms, parents, we need to do the work. Who else will?
Love,
Sarah Mae, Blogger at sarahmae.com and author of the book Desperate – Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe (for those who have whispered, “I just can’t be a mom today.“)
Leave a Comment
Andrea says
I love this post and would like to give this book to my daughter in law
Doris Diamond Spangler says
Doris Diamond Spangler Would love this book. I m a Grandmother of 6. Trying to
lead the two small ones , 10-13 both boys the right way. Thanks so much.
Karla H. says
Thank you for this post. This sounds like a book I should read!
Rachel says
This post is awesome. This is getting shared. My husband and I intentionally moved to the inner city to invest in the hearts of this community. We see two year olds raising themselves everyday. But I also see this in many middle and upper class families due to various factors.
As new parents with a 3-month-old, we have already had this conversation many times and are praying into what Kingdom parenting looks like on a practical level.
Thanks for your words.
Tracey says
Tank you for your encourgement!
Amanda says
Great post & reminder!! Thank you!!!
Looks like a GREAT book as well 🙂
~VA~ says
🙂 Looks like agreat book!
Laura says
That is such truth, Sarah! My parents had to both work full time when I was growing up, and we had the blessing of being watched after school by my grandparents. My grandmother passed away last September and the legacy she left with me to pass on is time. She never made us feel like she was too busy to help with homework, play a game, teach us how to bake, or chat about whatever we wanted. Looking back I realize what a blessing that was!
PS- I love your book. I recently gave away my copy to a friend who needed it more than I did. I would love another copy to do the same. 🙂
stacyg says
Love this!!
Kimberly Thompson says
Thank you for the reminder. I desperately needed to hear that today.
Heather R says
Great post! Thank you. And thank you for the chance to win! 🙂
Tristi says
I am putting this one on my “to read” list!
Melissa says
Loved this… I can so relate. Thanks for sharing and doing this giveaway 🙂
Peggy Jarvis says
A book my daughter needs!
amy says
This spoke so much to my heart. I’m also floundering most days and I’d love to win this book.
Jennifer says
Our daughter is so good about entertaining herself that we have to be intentional about not letting her do that too often. Thanks for the reminder.
marci says
I totally related to this post. It is a great reminder to be present.
Megan H. says
I’ve only heard good things about this book! Would love a copy!
Phyllis says
We are all in this race together. It’s very hard to make sure our kids are engaged with us!!
Kathleen says
having raised two children now 21 & 18 -I didn’t always get it right..what you have written is so true. moms and dads need to take this responsibility seriously, invest and spend time with these precious gifts!!!
DeAnn says
Just what I needed to hear this morning!
Jennifer M says
Thank you for this incredibly important reminder. So glad I read this- God knew I needed it!
Angie says
would love a copy of this!
Erin says
I would love this book. Parenting IS kingdom work – thanks for reminding us. I stay home with my son, and it is necessary to remember that I am doing something of GREAT importance in raising a child. All parents – not just SAHMs, but for me especially, it’s a good reminder.
Alyssa says
I would love a copy of this book! Thanks for the giveaway!
Emily says
I would love to win a copy of this book! This post really hit home with me and made me think about the mom I am.
Blessings,
Emily
Kim B. says
Thank you so much for writing this. As f lately God has put this topic on my mind of what more can I do to raise children that desires God and His will for their life. Being the Mom of three kids 6 and under, one whom has special needs by the world standards, I find my self busy in the daily routine of trying to get thing done around the house and taking kids to and from school and different therapies. I have been trying to find time and a meaningful way to teach my children about God and to make sure they are are developmental where they need to be. On top of this I am trying to potty train two kids. This book would be such blessing.
Tyra says
Great post. It’s all just one day at a time and thankfully the Lord’s mercies – and our children’s, too – are new every morning.
Julie says
Isn’t it just like God to encourage us in the areas he’s already convicting us. I’m so glad I read this today and while I’m thankful for more prodding to be intentional in my parenting, I just don’t know how. It seems so silly, but I don’t know how to play with my 5 year old, so I just stay busy with my stuff.
Darla Bunyan says
I would LOVE to win this book! I am a SAHM, Homeschooler, with special needs children, I need all the help I can get!
Laura says
Wow! This is so good and so true! Thanks for sharing.
Shelsy says
This is beautiful. I need these reminders that being a mother isn’t about doing everything perfectly. Some days it’s enough to just get through the day in one piece. But beyond surviving and beyond the comparisons the reality is there are two little souls sharing this space with me and no one has more potential to influence them than me. What marks am I leaving on them?
Andrea says
I am a SAHM of three, while it can be very painful to read it is true. I am in the middle of a move, we have sold our home, moved into a vacation rental, awaiting the close of another home, had a bought with identity theft, and the list goes on. I needed to read this to refocus. Wonderful. Starting today!
Lisa Miller says
Thank you for this post. I want to read your book and share it with friends.
Heather Hetchler says
Love the post and would love to read the book. This is what my friends and I talk so much about…. being mindful of parenting. Taking tough things and turning them into learning opportunities. No one taught me how to live…. I was given a bunch of rules and told to follow them but when your parents aren’t there (ie. college…) the rules aren’t there. I want my kids to do things God’s way and seek to obey Him and His word. I may not always be there to guide and help them but God will be. I want to raise my kids to seek His word first in all they do.
Rita says
How this resonates with my own childhood! I see my sons and daughters-in-law truly raising their children; spending quality time with them and being involved. I encouraged one daughter-in-law recently that she truly is doing Kingdom work, and so much of it is thankless…and exhausting. With three children under four and a full-time teaching job outside the home, she is overwhelmed; however, she’s the best mother and cares so gently and lovingly for her children. I think this book would be a blessing to her, and she may even have time to read it while she’s home over the summer.
Amy Hunt says
Yes, this: “I want to raise my kids; I want to guide them and teach them and walk with them and talk with them and get all Deuteronomy with them. Because it matters.”
“Interrupting play” . . . this has me thinking. And it provokes my heart with conviction. Your words here are worship, friend. Truly.
stacy says
Such a good reminder!! I’m trying to figure out how to do this now that my girls are getting a little older. Any good advice you have is always appreciated!!
Jody says
Couldn’t agree with this post more! My husband & I are raising our young children intentionally & like you neither of us had good examples of how to do that, but we push on just the same. Maybe your book could bring some insight to the situation.
Donna O says
This truly spoke to my heart… People are always asking what is your purpose in life? I have thought and prayed and one day God spoke to my heart and said to be a wife and mother… I pray to be hands on all the time… Thank you so much for this post…
Tammy T. says
(in)couragement accepted! 🙂
I will not grow children like cattle,
but raise them as the eternity-affecting souls they are.
and yes, I would love to win a copy of your book too 😉
God bless you tons!!
Tiffany says
Well said! There are days when you cannot breathe as a mom but the joy that comes when you are present, is irreplaceable. As a single mom of four I can say it is inexpicably hard some days though.
Susie D says
Thanks for the giveaway
Lisa G says
What a timely post, loved it! Thank you for the chance to win your book, been wanting to read it. “Fast learner, slow doer” that is absolutely me!
Christy says
Thank you for the great post.
Holly says
This is great. Both of my in-laws grew up with legacies they didn’t want to repeat, and committed to start a legacy from scratch–trusting that Jesus had given them everything they needed. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to now,in turn, have their example (as well as their fabulous son as a husband of nearly 15 years!) You are absolutely right that this is kingdom work. Thanks for the reminder.
Hope says
I needed this today…I’ve been simply trying to survive the days since my daughter was born three weeks ago and have been feeling tremendous guilt over letting my three year old son basically go through the motions. I seriously feel desperate for guidance and encouragement during these days. I’m wondering how it is that by adding to our family I suddenly have forgotten how to mother all over again…
jennifer h says
Awesome reminder to be intentional. Thanks for the chance to win a book I need:-)
Katie D says
This post was so encouraging to me! I am trying daily to be more intentional in my time with my children- to be present. Would love this book 🙂 Thank you for the opportunity!
Christy @ A Heartening Life says
“Playing is good. Playing without it being observable or interruptible isn’t good. Children being capable of taking care of themselves is good. Children being capable of taking care of themselves without any instruction, responsibility or loving guidance isn’t good.” You are so right! And a lot of times we don’t even think about the negative aspects because we are happy for their independence and guilt free time to do what we need to accomplish.
Christy @ A Heartening Life
http://www.ahearteninglife.com
Cara says
guilty on all accounts. I love when I can be pointed to the truth by the Truth! I actually picked up your book at Lifeway this past week and gave it to a friend. Sounds like I should have read it first 😉
Lisa says
Sounds like a wonderful book. Can’t wait to read it!!!
Tiffany B says
I love this post and look forward to reading the book!
Vicki o. says
Thank you from all of us moms that aren’t from Christian homes and are out here trying to raise our kids in first generation Christian homes…..
Vickie says
I so needed this post today. Sometimes I feel like I am floundering and not sure what to intentionally do.
Brandi Etheredge says
Great post! Would LOVE to read the book! 🙂
Tster says
Thank you so much for this post. I also didn’t have a role model for myself. I would love to give this book to one of my daughters and buy one for the others.
Linds says
I would so love to read this book too….
Barb S. says
Intentional Deuteronomy child-raising is such HARD work! Thanks for sharing. My kids have had to fend for themselves lately because their dad was in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks and is now home with home health. Life is not normal. And yes, they’re watching more TV than we usually allow. But I feel better knowing that we have been intentional and will return to intentional gradually as life we recover from survival mode. They are learning from this experience, too.
Gina @ Keepin' it Real! says
I often feel like you do when I reflect on my childhood. If I take the time to see my parents through eyes of grace, I am reminded that they did what they knew. Maybe they didn’t have a model. Maybe it was their best. I also learn from what they did and didn’t do. I do the opposite of what I don’t think was the best. I try to see what they did well, and adapt it into my life in a way that fits our family if I can. I think we need to rely on the Holy Spirit more to give us those nudges we need.
This generation has it’s own dangers. The internet, blogging, and a million things IN OUR HOMES that pull us from our kids, even though we are technically in our homes. If we reflect on what our parents did and didn’t do, and feel they were somehow absent, think about what our kids will reflect on…will it be that their parents were busy on their computers, writing about what they should be doing? As I observe the internet/blogging world, my burden grows as I see so many moms spending so much time there.
One day we will be evaluated in the same way we evaluate our own parents. I pray that my own evaluation will be one that is not only grace filled, but one that doesn’t include my neglecting my kids in a different way than my parents appeared to.
luda G says
I would love to read this book, I could really use it.
Tina Snodgrass says
Thanks for sharing
Kati says
I’ve had your book on my Amazon wish list for quite some time now, hoping to see it go on sale or get a cheaper used copy. Being a working mom of two toddlers and battling depression, its a constant battle for me to want to do anything but plop them in front of the screen so I can catch a breath. And I still do too often. Thank you for the reminder that they are only little for a short time, and my job is to demonstrate who their Savior is, and to help prepare them for eternity.
Katie Nelson says
thank you so much for the chance to win this book! I’ve been reading it on my e-reader, but I so have been wanting an actual copy to whip out my highlighter for! Reading this book so slowly… words you want to let sink in.
Jennifer says
Thanks for reminding me that when I am home AND present, I am doing Kingdom work with my kids. Would love to win a copy!
Meredith says
Would LOVE to win a copy! Some locals girls started a “Desperate” discussion board on FB and would love to take part!!!! Thanks for a great giveaway!
Amy McVicker says
I can relate to this so much! My husband and I are trying our best to be the parents God wants us to be and we have had no model for this either. It takes constant turning to the Lord and repenting of our selfishness so we can be the parents He created us to be. Thank you for sharing.
Rosanna says
I would love a copy of this book. It’s amazing to know I have been called by the Almighty to be “Mom”
Molly C says
I could really use this book. I am a full-time working mom of three boys, and I realized as I read this that I do the same thing – letting my children take care of themselves to the degree that they can, and not engaging with them and discipling them like I should.
Cindy says
Would love this book. Trying to be a Deuteronomy family.
Amy says
Beautifully written just-exactly-what-I-needed-to-read post this morning. Thanks so much for sharing your mama heart and convicting mine. Would love to get my hands on a copy of this book! Thanks!!
Amy says
Excellent reminder of our responsibility to our kids!
Becki says
Great article- so very true. It is easy to slip into the “all is well, everyone can take care of themselves” mode yet it is very dangerous.
Laurel says
Would love to win this book! I’ve been struggling with how to balance independent play time (to develop the ability to entertain herself, etc.) and guided/structured play time. I’m always around and observing, but not always interacting. Thanks for offering this giveaway!
Katy Looy says
A must read I imagine! Can’t wait to have this in my hands!
Jos @ Joyful{in}Chaos says
This resonates the cries of my heart. Parenting IS my Kingdom work! Thank you for putting words to what my heart aches to be resonated.
Shelby M says
This book will be a great tool to help new and older parent to have a better outlook in going through parenthood. It would let them know it’s not just being a parent it’s about kingdom building.
Alicia H says
This post spoke to me so deeply this morning. Thank you so much for sharing. I also keep hearing about ‘Desperate’ and have put it on my ‘to read’ list! 😀
Alyssa says
As many times as I hear this, I still need the reminder that although the kids can do things on their own, it is important to be intentional with their time, OUR time with them! This book will be added to my list of must-reads.
lisa says
Oh how I would LOVE to win this book! I love your story! Please pick me!
Sarita says
Words from the heart. Thnk you for the chance to win this book.
Melanie says
Thank you for the reminder on where our focus should be. It’s too often easier to let them entertain themselves.
Kristin says
Would love to read this book!
Cindy says
I would love to win a copy of this book. As parents, we are constantly running to drop children off at school, work, pick them up, and then get them to the next SCHEDULED activity. Time at home is PRECIOUS. Thanks for the encouragement.
Christina says
I’m a stay-at-home mom to two and I certainly have days where I go to bed feeling guilty for not being more engaged with my children throughout the day. This is a great reminder. What my children remember about our days together is important to me.
Beth B says
So true, Sarah Mae. I found it so much easier to be engaged when my children were small…as they are getting older I really do need to be intentional with them. It’s easy to think they don’t need me as much b/c they are becoming independent. Thank you for this reminder today.
Joy says
Thank you!
Candace says
A good friend once said “I didn’t win ‘mom of the year’ award today. That honest comment set me free. When my children were younger, I wanted to be mom of the year every day, and it was liberating to realize it was okay if some days I was less than perfect. What I found over the years was that my simple act of taking time in the morning to invite the Holy Spirit to fill me and use me was the most important thing I could do. Despite my failings at times in my effort to be the perfect parent, I had given my children the priceless gift of childhood: they grew up in the presence of the living God. He covered all my failings with grace. I urge you to invite God’s presence in your home, try your hardest, and then be gentle with yourself. He loves your children (and you!) even more than you do and will cover both the good and the bad with His grace, mercy and love.
jenn says
Man, such a good word. It’s so easy for me to let my very independent 4-year-old daughter do her own thing. I don’t want her to not remember me playing with her or being intentional with her. Excited about this book!
Rachel Self says
My husband and I are hopefully going to begin our family soon–and we’ve talked about the idea of not having TV at all–mostly because we’re afraid it will be a distraction from spending time together as a family. I’m reading everything I can get my hands on, trying to form a realistic picture of what God has called us to be as parents. This book looks great!
Llinda says
I am a grandmother unexpectedly raising a six-year-old for the second time. Oh how I wish i had heard this message the first time around. You have affirmed what should be at the top of my priority list time – for my grandson’s sake, my sake, and most of all because God lovingly tells us so. Bless you.
Pam says
Thanks for the reminder to not let my kids slip into the “auto-pilot” mode. I’d love to read your book.
Amy says
I would love to read this book!
Kathy Bever says
There were 9 kids in our family. I NEVER felt as though I had time with my parents; though I’m sure they did the best they could.
I had 2 children and ended up a single parent so I felt as though my kids suffered because I had to work to support us.
Now I see both my kids being the kind of parent I wanted to be! Perhaps I planted some seeds after all.
Cindy Mangold says
Thank you for the reminder and encouragement. I have heard great things about your book!
Amy says
Trying to be intentional by doing one activity a day. Once that is routine, we’ll try to add another. Thanks for a good post and the giveaway.
Pattie says
Beautifully put.
rilmomto3 says
Sarah Mae, I am desperate to change my family legacy, too! This post is right on time. I will forward this to my sisters and friends as a reminder to be “present” with our kids from day to day. And you’re right, it is Kingdom Work. You are so transparent. Thank you for sharing this post!
Christie says
I needed to hear this as I’m sitting with my 10 month old stacking blocks, reading books, and having her crawl all over me. THIS is the work I need to be doing today. Not my to do list of laundry, dishes, and running to Target.
alyssaz says
That is so me as well. I had great parents but they weren’t intentional and I can already feel myself doing the same with my daughter. I want to go all Deuteronomy as well 🙂
Patti M. says
Oh, how I NEED this book!
Hannah says
I think it’s definitely difficult to stop wanting and trying to be the perfect parent and just let God’s grace full in the cracks where we have dropped the ball in parenting and life. I love this community and these posts!!
Deb says
As a stay-at-home mom, I struggle every day with striking a balance between positive engagement with my girls and tending to the mountain of housework I feel should be accomplished. Thank you for this!
Sarah says
This is a wonderful reminder for me that is at just the right time! I needed to read this today.
jen says
I was raised in a very good home but not godly and I am trying to change that in my family. Thanks for encouragement and knowing I am not alone in this journey.
Jennifer says
Yes. I am a homeschool mum. My kids probably have lots of memories as a teacher. I need to intentionally have more fun with them. This summer I am going to schedule funs things to do with them. 🙂
Thanks for the transparency.
Sarah Peloquin says
I just spent an emotionally and spiritually draining weekend at my parent’s house as they (unintentionally but painfully) attacked all my views on parenting and my own faith. The saddest part of the whole fiasco was that they essentially failed at parenting themselves. I watched them literally tear my siblings down and shame them into “obedience” because they had the power and authority and they were going to wield it no matter the cost. I started out as a parent doing the opposite. Leaving my kids room and trying not to be overbearing in their lives because it terrified me that I was going to become my parents.
Both sides are so very damaging. I am still learning, but my kids are being raised in a home of grace and unconditional love with boundaries and intentional time spent building into their lives. Not perfectly by any means. I still have days when I err on the side of caution and leave them to their own devices. I also have days when the authoritative, tyrannical, shame-inducing pull is so very strong and I despise those days. When my children are broken and damaged by my harsh words and grace-less approach.
Today, we are going to work out in the gardens. It’s going to take me ten time longer with their little helping hands, but I am going to enjoy every minute of our intentional interaction.
Thank you so much for this post. I needed it badly! 🙂
Becky J says
YES, yes, yes….our culture does not understand or vouch for the vital role that mothering is in the very fabric of our world! I taught in a Christian school for 12 years and have home schooled for 5 years and I just told my kids {ages 20, 18 and 13} that, far and above, my greatest role is that of mother…it is investing deeply in three eternal souls….keep going dear Mommas, what you are doing is so, so valuable in God’s eyes!! Thanks for sharing!!
mary g says
Great blog post, what I needed to here on a Monday morning after a busy weekend when all I am thinking about is laundry and chores.
Betty Mc says
This post makes me ache and HURT. My 4-year-old grandson is growing up on iPad and TV and Wii, even though his mom is stay-at-home. What to do? What to do?
Shannon says
My childhood story sounds very similar. I’d love to read that book!
Amanda Peterson says
Thanks for the great message. We can all find ways to plug into our kids more during the day, aiming for quality time together. I’d love to read your book!
Shelley Bodner says
Thank you for this post. I already have order the last book , Everything: What you give and what you gain to become like Jesus. My summer reading list is getting longer. It is always soo great to get a snyopsis of a book before buying. This one is definitely next!!
Leslie says
I just bought your book for my Kindle. I can’t wait to hear more of your heart! I totally appreciate your encouragement this morning. I strive to be the best parenting me I can be by God’s grace. It IS hard to stay engaged between the isolation we can feel as moms, the pressures of the world, the intensity of the work of child-rearing, and my plain ol’ selfish. This post was a great one, especially as a follow-up to another post on “Hands-Free Mama” I read just yesterday. I think you’d appreciate it:
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/16/what-a-hands-free-summer-looks-like/
God bless you!
Lindsay Roberts says
Feeling super overwhelmed as a single mom and this just spoke to me HUGE. Such a beautiful truth. What a great giveaway. I’d love to check out this book 🙂
Marsha Kauffman says
Sounds like a great book to read.
Leslie says
I just bought your book for my Kindle. I can’t wait to hear more of your heart! I totally appreciate your encouragement this morning. I strive to be the best parenting me I can be by God’s grace. It IS hard to stay engaged between the isolation we can feel as moms, the pressures of the world, the intensity of the work of child-rearing, and my plain ol’ selfish. This post was a great one, especially as a follow-up to another post I found on “Hands-Free Mama” yesterday. I think you’d appreciate it: “What a hands-free summer looks like” if you want to Google it. God bless you in this season of your book’s release! Congrats!
Susie C says
Thank you so much for sharing. It was a source of encouragement in the form a “push” to me today. Just what I needed.
Karissa Blackford says
Great post! I definitely agree that we need to be intentional as parents. I would love to read your book!
caira says
Wow! This looks great. I am with you – this is a new thing I’m stepping into: intentional parenting, homeschooling, raising up differently than I was raised. Uncharted territory, but where God has led us.
Staci says
This truly touched me! I am a stay at home mom with 4 kids and with school, baseball, and just daily responsibilities, I have been just getting by. My family is the greatest gift God has given me and I need to slow down and intentionally love them! Thank you! I would love a copy of the book also 🙂
brooke says
It’s so easy to check out sometimes. I know they’ll need me any second because there will be an argument or a problem. Sometimes, instead of being proactive, I just let things go until there is a problem. I mean, I’m a homeschool mom, so I obviously interact constantly. But the truth is, when I’m overwhelmed, I feel the desire to just hide after homeschooling is over. Not good. Thanks for the reminder!
Elizabeth says
I would like to win a copy!
Cathy says
this book has been at the top of my to-read list for a while.
Candy McDonald says
This is how I feel all the time. I would really love to be able to read this book!
Linz says
That book sounds like exactly what I need.
heather says
New mommy desperate for guidance; sure hope I win.
Sara Ingraham says
God is good! He was just talking to me about embracing my role right now and not getting ahead of Him. Thanks for helping Him to bring it home and reminding me how important this work right now is and that I cannot do it well if I have too much else in the pot. God bless you!
Nena says
This is exactly why when the world tells me I contribute nothing as a SAHM I can laugh at them. Being intentional with our children is a beautiful thing, and regardless of whether we stay home with them, work full of part time, whether we home school or have someone else educate our children, when we are intentional in our time with them we are shaping and moulding them into the people the world so desperately needs right now.
Thank you for the chance to win your wonderful book!
Helen G. says
There are so many days that our “routine” seems futile, but this book is such a refreshing reminder of our call as moms. I’ve read this book cover to cover and can’t wait to share it with a few of my friends… they need to read it!!!
Rebekah says
Thank you for this post. It’s a good reminder for me today to be more intentional with my boys. Thank you also for an opportunity to win a copy of Desperate!
Janel says
Wonderful post! Thank you!!
Susan G says
Oh this would be a good book for me. As I am already feel the need to breath this early a.m.
Cindy says
Greetings! Thank you for sharing these thoughts. My younger daughter is now 16. I believe I was intentional with her when she was younger – when we had fewer electronic distractions. 🙂 I took her to the play ground regularly, watched tv shows with her, and more. Now we spend most of our time at opposite ends of the house and I feel like I cannot be a mom to her. She is strong willed and her mind is made up that she doesn’t need her parents. We are older than most of her friends’ parents- I am 56 and my husband is 60, almost 61. The other day when I went to school to pick her up, another student told her grandmother was her. We both laughed at that. I am not very gray, yet, but is coming. 🙂 What to do? We pray frequently for God to give us His love for her and her His love for us. There are other things going on that put a strain on our relationship. 🙁 I will continue to pray and stay tuned to Holy Spirit. God bless you!
Kimberly says
What an excellent post! It is all about being intentional with our children’s lives. It is so easy to let them play by themselves, watch movies, etc. This really hit home for me. Thank you!
Amanda T says
Sounds like an interesting book to read. Thanks for offering the giveaway!
Kathy says
So needed to hear this today. My kids are now tweens and its a scary world out there. I grew up with parents who were not involved in my every day life……I wasnt neglected. Just “trusted” too much. I just realized I have been unconciously following the same model even though I would tell you I would have been way better off if my parents hadnt trusted me so much. New legacy in my house starting today. Thank you for sharing.
Kim says
This article really touched my heart. I am forwarding it to my husband. After long days at work we to let the kids do what they had wanted. Now we are correcting them more and last night this was my prayer Lord help me be a better parent.
Joannie Koch says
This is sooo true. As a mother of 3 grown children and grandmother now, I am enjoying the fruit of having “laid down my needs” for the sake of their needs. We really do reap what we sow. Lord help us see our kids’ needs!
Paula Davies says
I recently purchased Desperate for my daughter. I think though, that I should read it also. Grandmothers need help too!
vicky says
It’s so true that we have to be intentional. Unfortunately it seems to come in waves for me. I can be very intentional and then finish with the “intentional” project and go back into a lull until I figure out the next step. But the Lord calls us to persevere, so forward ho!
Does anyone have a comment on talking with your children? I came from a quiet home, and I find that I’m continuing in that tradition. I seem to keep most of my thoughts to myself while I see other moms carrying on all kinds of conversations with their children. It’s foreign to me. Any suggestions?
Missy says
Sounds like a great read!!
Tara S. says
Great article! Very reminiscent of my own childhood and how I want things to be different for my kids. Thank you!
Abigail Grove says
Thank you so much for that important and challenging word. Your book looks really helpful!
Lisa says
Having three teenage daughters, I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed. My husband is away quite a bit because he’s a firefighter. I would love to read this book.
Kim CHO says
What a great sounding book!
Laila Hammes says
Having a teenage daughter with ADHD, Depression and Scoliosis, there is never a time to truly breathe and relax. I always feel constantly stressed with worry for her future. Yes, I pray a lot and give to God, but somehow I end up taking it back and not trusting in the Lord. I have been trying very hard to BREATHE, but it’s a constant battle.
Rachel says
Thank you for sharing your heart. I echo your thoughts and I will be praying and being much more intentional. Blessings!
Vicki B. says
This book is on my to-read list. I would love to win it because my library doesn’t carry it!
Gwen wise says
I loved this post. I’ve been at this parenting gig for 32yrs and still have a ways to go, and I’m tired but still willing to reach the finish line someday. Please pray for me to finish WELL. I added you to my Catholic Women Authors list at Twitter!
Sabrina Kinzle says
Wow, I am constantly feeling desperate over being a Mom. Sometimes wondering if I am reaching for my children at all? I need this book.
ashley says
Thank you for your words!
Jackie says
Our job as parents does not stop when our children are grown. We still have the opportunity to interact with our grandchildren and possibly be wiser and kinder in our actions towards them. It is now a challenge to see if I can build a great relationship with my grandchildren without stepping all over my children in their journey to parent. Your book sounds like it would be fabulous as a good resource and a great read. It would be a blessing to win one.
Rachel C. says
This definitely sounds like a book for me! Especially since my children found my stash of chocolate in the closet, I’ll need some other way of ‘breathing’!
Jennifer says
So true! These are my daily struggles as a parent. Thanks for the post.
Tiffany Rowe says
Yes I can relate! My mom was a single mom when I was in Kindergarten & 1 st grade. I had an alarm I woke up, got myself dressed, got myself breakfast, brushed my own teeth and hair, and waited until mister gadget went off and met the kids to walk to school. My mom had my lil brother when I was 8 and after school I took care of him until my mom came home from work. I was a second mom to him. I LOVE MY MOM TO DEATH and I’m grateful that when she WAS able to be home from work she was their playing or whatever with us! She was their when she could be and I’m a better person for the childhood I had! I would love a chance to win your book and I know the right people will be blessed and picked for the giveaway! Thank you
Dawn says
I am a single Mom and have been since I was 6mos pregnant. I am a Christian and work for a Christian nonprofit counseling corporation in Jacksonville, FL. I would LOVE the opportunity to win, review and recommend this book to some of our clients based on what i have read thus far alone…that are EXACTLY like ME and the hundreds of other women would have commented, read and say this book has changed their life! Please pick me. 🙂 I will share it on our website as a recommended read as well as promote it on all of our social media.
Sincerely,
Dawn in jacksonville
Cassie says
Thank you for speaking truth.
Jenell says
been wanting to read this book…
Rachel says
Thank you for this great reminder! We mamas are doing Kingdom work! 🙂 I appreciate your words so much. Thank you for being obedient and letting the Lord speak through you.
Kirsten says
I am reading this book right now and loving it! I’d love a copy to share with a friend. Thanks for your honesty and for challenging me to be more intentional in my parenting. It’s easy to desire, so difficult to do, but so worthwhile.
Rebekah says
I needed this today. I needed to hear the confirmation of my fears and the affirmation of my efforts. Like you, I remember a good childhood, but it was one that didn’t have many intentional and engaging moments of being *raised*. My parents did their best and I love them fiercely; I just want to do it differently. I know that I can do better and I desperately want to. I need new ideas for engaging, guiding, and raising my kids now that they are getting older (7 & nearly 11). I was a super-star mom until I became a single mom, left in a whirlwind of distraction, despair, and a new role as college student & working mom whereas before I was at home, focused, and available to my kids at any given moment. Thank you for this post and the opportunity to gain another tool for my mothering toolbox. <3
Shannon T. says
I loved this. It was encouraging and motivating and it pulled at my heart strings. I’m a first time mama to a precious 7 month old. And I already see how it affects her when I find myself on my phone to check Facebook one more time. I was just at dinner last night with a dear friend and she was telling me what an impact this book has had on her as a mother to her boys. So much so that she’s about to reread it and journal through it. We also decided to keep one another accountable to being present and off our phones/computers when we are with the kids. Thanks for inspiring and encouraging fellow mommys to push through and push for raising our babies in the Lord. I can’t wait to read Desperate!
Kimberly says
This sounds all good and fine, but I don’t think I can do any more than I’m already doing. My kids need more, but I simply don’t know how I can do it.
Gretchen Wadkins says
What an encouraging post! Being intentional has hit me from many different avenues lately.This sounds like a great book!
Laura says
Thanks for this post. My children are 4 and 2 so they still need me just about all the time, but I know I’ll have the tendency to move toward passivity once they get older. Thanks for being real. 🙂
Jennifer C. says
Thanks for this article. It really made me think of how I parent my girls. I’m there, but not neccessarily engaged in what they do, in their day to day lives, leading and guiding. I really needed this as a reminder of what God has called me to do and be as a parent. I will defintiely put this on my list of must reads!
Leanne says
I was just thinking yesterday that the next book I read needs to be one that inspires and encourages me in present parenting. My little one is just 9 months old and I am often torn on how much time should be spent one on one playing vs encouraging him to play on his own. When it comes down to it, I can find that answer every time in the Holy Spirit. Would love to read how you have been guiding in parenting
Tanyetta says
I want and need to breathe!!
Christa says
Whew. Love your article, and I would LOVE to have your book! I love how you said that “stay at home moms aren’t exempt.” You know, sometimes we SAHM feel we get some sort of medal for simply staying at home. However, it’s no use if we aren’t intentionally raising our children. You’ve given me a lot to chew on! Thanks!
Krista says
THere is such a message in your post. Many parents need to hear this today–me too! Thanks for the reminder:)
Melissa D says
I bought this book last week but I’d love to win it for my sister! 🙂
Katie B says
Love this! I am just finishing up my first trimester and although I have worked as a nanny and in childcare centers… I feel clueless! I want to be so many things and I like how you said to just be intentional. My husband and I are first generation Christians and are excited but once again also feel a bit clueless about how to raise a child in the way they should go. So thankful for God, His Word and encouraging women like you. 🙂
Sarah says
Love this! I needed this reminder.
Joy says
Ohh..this sounds like a book I would very much like to read! As a SAHM of 4 under the age of 7 I feel as though each day is a desperate struggle to find the balance btn finding the time/energy for each of my kids, and not to mention, my husband and self, and the family as a whole. All the while, knowing what is a healthy dose of independence for all of us to meet our God-given potential.. And digging deep to find the strength to raise my kids how I always dreamed I would. Thank you for your shared wisdom, and for expressing grace in your writing for the not-so-fantastic days that can make or break this mama’s spirits in this trying-hard, grace-drenched life.
Marla Y says
Great post. this a nice reminder to myself to make sure I spend quality time with my daughter teaching her and loving her. Thank you for the chance to win this book. God bless!
Jen B says
Thanks for this post. This is something that has been heavy on my heart. My mother passed away when my son was just four months old. It hit me very hard and I was in a depression for a very long time. I feel like I have missed some vital moments in my son’s life and now I have been praying for God to recoup the time and to show me how to be a good mother to him. I have a lot of catching up to do but I trust God will guide me as I try to teach him the ways of our Father. Thanks!!
Katie says
I’d love a copy of the book! Thank you!
Meaghan says
This is an awesome post. Something we all need to keep in the forefront of our hearts and minds. Being intentional to build His kingdom begins with our children. There is no greater calling than that of motherhood/fatherhood – parenthood. Thank you for admonishing us in this. God bless you and all the momma’s with God’s mercy and grace!! 🙂
Rebekah says
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Your post gently reminds us to focus on what is of eternal value. As a single mom of four little ones, I am learning that the only way I will have anything to impart to my children is by staying close to the throne of grace myself. Blessings to you and your family!
Becky says
This is so true. As I was reading this it was as if I was reading about my own childhood. My momma was a SAHM and she was an excellent homemaker & mother, but we did spent a lot of time unsupervised because she was literally too busy with seven kids & household duties. We watched things we should’nt have, we played games we shouldn’t have, we did things we shouldn’t have, on & on. As you said, SAHMs aren’t exempt from passive parenting. I am a SAHM homeschooling mom and I too tend to get passive in my parenting. Thank you so much for this gentle, but firm reminder that our children need us to be an active part in their lives. We need to be intentional in our parenting because there is a world out there that is very intentional in teaching our kids, I want to be the greatest influence in my children’s lives.
Christine Hazard says
Great book to read at the beach this summer!
Julie says
Thanks for this timely message!
Erin Zamora says
Thanks for the post, I needed that today! Would love to read your book:)
Molly says
I so want this book! I read this post and felt like I stepped back in time. We were raised in the church. My parent’s didn’t practice anything at home. We didn’t read The Bible together, we didn’t talk about church. They didn’t even take us. It was like free child care. Still, my siblings and I are all believers. But we all face a similar challenge. We know we MUST do something different. It is hard enough to parent. It is harder still when you have no example to follow. We “spy” on Godly friends to see what they do and how they do it. We read books. This is exactly what I want to do with my life and home as a mom. I want to be intentional about all the moments, fully aware of the eternal impact.
Marie says
I was so refreshed to read this article and would love to read the book. I grew up with one parent who overworked themself, mostly out of necessity and partly out of the need for sanity. My other parent struggled with several nervous breakdowns while I was growing up and was not available on a consistent basis. I praise the Lord for the relationship that I have for them both. Also, I don’t regret the past- but look at it as something that drew us all closer towards the Lord and each other.
Kathy says
I would like to learn more and may do so with the book!
janine says
the book sounds amazingly real and down to earth. a place many people have been and can’t seem to see the light, except by the grace and love of our faithful Father! it wold be great to have a copy to share with others.
Kim says
I can definitely relate! I feel like I have no markers or guidepost for what godly parenting looks like. It’s overwhelming at times to even know where to begin! Praying for the Lord’s gracious leading and guiding. I think your book will be a huge encouragement to so many moms.
Krista says
Awesome post. I would love to get my hands on a copy of that book! 🙂
Martha Helen says
Ummm.. yes. Thank you. Was convicted of this this morning with my little two year old and wrestle often with the demands of intentional parenting. Often struggling with being annoyed at my kids for “interrupting” me constantly throughout the day. Parenting requires such a death to self! Good parenting, at least. Thanks for this and yes… i need to get my hands on that book one way or another. 🙂
dawn says
I can totally relate to how you were raised….are you sure we weren’t sisters? I would LOVE to win this book! Love your *semi-daily* posts….very encouraging and I appreciate your transparency.
Ginger says
great reminder!
would love to read your book. 🙂
Misty says
What a wonderful topic. As a mother of 4 I need this book!
Jessica Mumford says
I would love to win this book! I am pregnant with my first and we are also in the process of adopting from Ethiopia!
Katie says
As you said, I know this wasn’t an attack on your parents but I think our view of how “we” were raised is insignificant. I don’t know how to say it without sounding harsh. But in reality, most parents did the best they could. As children, we have no idea what our parents are also dealing with.
Today, the world constantly has us concerned about me and myself. So it’s something OUR generation needs to lift our heads up from our iPhones to consider for a moment.
Lynsie says
What mom wouldn’t love a copy of this book? Great post!
michelle h says
reading this book from the library but really would like a copy to share with mommies I run into who are struggling!
Kate Moss says
Love this post. thank you.
2 things I particularly liked:
“stay-at-home moms aren’t exempt – they can be too busy online or cleaning or doing crafts or whatever that keeps them from engaging. ” ouch. Slapped me in the face that one.
Secondly, your bio. How your ‘past would be your present if it weren’t for Jesus.’
2 good reasons to go ahead and buy your book if I am not lucky enough to win it 🙂
Kate x
Audra says
A friend of mine just told me about your book the other day and it sounds like it would be a great read for my current season!
Shannon S says
Great post. Enter me in the give-away.
Angela says
This post is EXACTLY what I needed to read today. <3
Sarah says
Please enter me in in would love to read this book! I have no memories of my stay at home mom playing with me or engaging in any blind of relationship with me. I have been working on forging a new path with my two children!
Andrea Stephens says
This is a wonderful post! I have a 1 week old baby boy and during my middle of the night feedings have been thinking about how I’ve been raised, how my husband has been raised, our lifestyles (we are both in the military and he has over a year left on an overseas tour), and how to raise and nurture our sweet little angel. This definitely shed some light and guidance and reminded me that its not just about having a kid, it’s about raising them and helping them get to heaven. Thank you.
Darlene says
Yes! Yes! Yes! To intentional parenting… It’s what I call {Mothering on Purpose}… it’s hard work, but it’s the best work you’ll ever do. My High Calling.
Jenny says
Loved the post Sarah!! Loved Desperate! Read it twice and would gift a second to a much deserving friend 🙂
julie says
i really appreciate hearing this today. really, thank you for writing this to me.
Erin says
I think I need that book. 🙂
Teri Crowder says
Whew… I so needed your post today…Thanks for sharing!
Lynsie says
What mom wouldn’t want to read this book? We need all the help we can get:)
Brandy Bazmore says
Wow thanks for this post! This something that has been on my mind but like you, I don’t have the role models to follow. I have been wanting to read your boom too!!
Brandy Bazmore says
*book! Sorry for the typo!
Brandy Bazmore says
Book! Sorry for the typo!
Donna Mayo says
Definately on my reading list. Thanks for the inspiration.
Andrea says
I would love to read this book. I have three boys 5 and under so I definitely need to breathe!
Toni says
This book sounds like something I could really use right now as I navigate the young kids stage of motherhood!
Stacie says
Beautifully written!
Carmen says
We struggle with active parenting – it’s slightly easier now that we can all get outside and enjoy the nice weather
Shannon T. says
I was so encouraged by this post. I feel excited, honored, and blessed to be in a position to leave a legacy as you mentioned. I will be breaking a cycle. But the truth is the task is huge and can be daunting. There are days I fear I won’t be able to do it, but I have to remember that it isn’t about my own strength, but that of the Lord’s power in and thru me. And moms like you push me forward. And I’ve got great mama friends too. One of which I was sitting down with last night over dinner when she began telling me of your and Sally’s book, Desperate. It’s impacted her greatly and I can’t wait to read it now!
Chrystal says
I can so relate to this….I try everyday to teach my kids something. To get to their level and talk to them. I’ve watched Sponge Bob more time than I care to and been ignored lots of times too..but I keep going back just sitting with them, hoping they will just ask me on question that I can answer with a lesson. I was able to take my kids kayaking the other day and it was such a blessing..they are 5 years apart and they both actually wanted to go and were so excited! How lucky was I…feeling blessed..
Sarah says
What a wonderful book! I’ve been passing along as many as I can afford!! Thank you – Sarah and Sally, for writing it… so honestly and beautifully 🙂
lrc says
Right on, Sara Mae! Thank you for sharing. People say I\’m a helicopter, but I disagree. I\’m not trying to shield my kids, I\’m trying to equip them to deal with things the right way. I let them experience with guidance in how to respond, and I let them mess up in their responses, too. I didn\’t appreciate being left to figure it out on my own – what a mess my early adulthood was from that! Now my kids are capable and confident and wise when out of my presence and I feel that I can trust them. It\’s worth the sacrifice of time!
Malinda says
Thank you for your honesty, I totally agree.
Juli says
I feel just like you. I love spending time with my kids and want to guide them and be intentional, but have no idea how. I want to guide, but not control their lives. Then there is the whole thing of other responsibilities. My parents were always too busy and I don’t want to be that parent, but I do have to do housework once in a while.
Elaine says
I love this post so much and agree so wholeheartedly. It makes me very interested in your book! I would love to win a copy!
Tif says
It is so hard being intentional…. But SO important. Thankyou for putting words to what and why being a parent is a gift…given from God.
Jodie says
This is a great reminder of our high calling as parents, and our need to be intentional. I can also easily feel like my kids (now teens) don’t need me anymore, but the reality is they are the biggest investment I have and I don’t want to “check out” of their lives, even when they seem independent. Our oldest is about to start college and I’ve been reflecting a lot on what’s most important for our kids to “get” before they leave home. Would love to read your book!
heather says
Relate to this.
Lyndel says
Such honesty and truth in those words. So excited to hear about such a book and the amazing resource it can be for me as a mum, but also a tool to put in the hands of so many ‘desperate’ mums I deal with most days at word.
Claire says
Your post tugs at my soul. I too was brought up with parents who did not encourage, nurture, teach me life skills, instill confidence and share life with me. I always felt my opinions weren’t valid and nobody really cared what I thought or felt. Now down the track and trying to be a mother myself I have found it the most difficult journey at all, because like you I have no model to base my own parenting on and no confidence to believe I can do it. So blessed to have a Father with open arms to continually run to when so often I find myself “Desperate”.
Becky says
Wow, such a good reminder! I am a homeschooling mom, but it is easy to forget what my priorities are! Thanks:)
Katelyn says
Such an honest and thought-provoking post. I’m pregnant (5 months!) with my first child.
I would love to read this book.
Keisha Dawson says
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and bein so honest. Parenting is by far the most difficult yet most rewarding piece of my life. I value your encouragment so much!
Meghan says
Thank you for this encouraging article!
Parenting is Kingdom Work | Justin & Lana says
[…] Parenting is Kingdom Work […]
Nohemi says
This is so true! We do have to be intentional and get to work!
Melissa says
Love this blog post. If really hits home, too close. Will pray and work toward being engaged and intentional
Elizabeth says
I want to do Kingdom work right in my own home. I want to always be living in God’s Will for me and right now it is being the best mother to my son as I can with God’s guidance. God has given me my heart’s desire to be a mother.
Michele Morin says
Thanks for making this information available
Dawna says
You have written the cry of my heart! As a stay at home, busy with homeschooling and everyday life as well as multiple sclerosis, for some time I have felt that I am missing my calling. Sure, I love my kids and they “know” it. Yet when I flop in bed exhausted each night, very aware that only half of my daily to do list has been checked off, I feel as though I have missed the mark — eternally. Just as one knows the importance of daily exercise yet struggles to incorporate it into each day, I struggle with teaching my children what matters most. “If only I had an extra 12 hours today”, I sigh. My parents were very busy, trying to support our household, and I was often left on my own, as you mentioned. How does one retrain one”a mind and change it here and now? I have felt this conviction for years now, but feel stuck and overwhelmed in my physical weakness. Thank you again for your post and encouragement. I needed to hear it today.
Renecia Bihms-Cullier says
Looks like a very good read. I can definitely use a copy of ‘Desperate’ to help me raise my now 2yr old daughter! Since having an AVM the week after I had her in December and being in the hospital to recover from my surgery and rehab til the following April, I feel like I’ve lost a lot of time with her (even being a newborn). And excuse me but I ‘feel’ kids these days need a different kind of parenting than what I used to raise my older children who are now grown (ages: 26, 23 & 18). Even my daughter who used to be the baby of the older three kids, I don’t feel that I’ll be able to use the same tactics on my baby now! PARENTING IS KINGDOM WORK!!!
Alicia says
So looking forward to reading your book ( whether I win the giveaway or not)!!!
Angela says
This is a very timely post. My oldest daughter is 5 and always wants to play with me during my youngest daughter’s naptime. Thank you for this encouragement to put down the to do list and play with her. Would also love to win the book!
Angela says
Great post! Would love to win your book
Missy says
Wow, thanks so much, I need to remind myself that parenting IS Kingdom work!
Karla Herbert says
This looks like a book so many of us moms could use ~ it’s hard being a mom somedays. I have to remind myself I’m building cathedrals. 🙂
Courtney says
Such a great post….it encouraged me as well as challenged me with the kind of mom I desire to be for my three little ones. Thank you for touching my heart and giving me a different perspective, one that I will start today to make changes for the better in my role as mommy. I’m guessing the book will do the same, it would be great to win it! 🙂
buffi says
Thank you so much for sharing your story. As someone who grew up with parents at work all the time, I do try to be intentional with my daughter but definitely struggle. As she becomes more self reliant I know I will have to work harder at this….
Sarah says
Thanks for this reminder to be intentional in my parenting! I’m a homeschool mom and am intentional in school, but the rest of the day I want so badly to take a break from it all – guess I need to work on that.
Nicole Goodfellow says
Thank you so much for the reminder. Sometimes it is so easy to forget that your role as a mom is number one and that it is a gift from God. My husband is always saying that it is not our responsibility to raise godly children but to be godly parents.
Kristan says
I would love this book. Motherhood is hard and tiring, but I so long to be intentional with my daughter. She only has one childhood that I can invest in her and I don’t want to miss opportunities.
Michelle Richmond says
Thank you so much for the gentle reminder/wake up call :)! It’s such a fine line in developing independent persons and just “checking-out” on mom-opportunities. Love it when we are able to refresh one another as scripture says.
Karen says
Love this! My favorite line is…Parenting is kingdom work. Thank you for making this such a bold statement.
Stephenie says
This article touched me, I have totally become that complacent mom. I even have a timer set on the tv so it turns on in the morning and the kids can just go watch for awhile. And I’m not a sahm. I should be mucho the intentional about these little lives that I am molding. Thank you for showing me my kingdom work
Julie H says
Thanks for the encouragement…would like to read the book, too!
Kelly Carter says
This post was perfect for me today as I just have decided to step down from my job and walk into a season of caring for my 10, 8, 6, 4, and 17 month old at home. I am terrified, but this post helped me to realize that it is important and I need to do it well.
Vanessa S says
Still on my way learning grace after being a law parent for so long….I am desperate!
Angela says
Thank you for reminding me that my little ones take priority over “stuff” that I feel needs to be done.
Tina Collins says
Thank you for a chance to receive such a precious gift. I could use it and I would most certainly share it.
Lynda says
Would love to get my eyes in this book 🙂
Lesia says
Thank you for this.
Hope says
Wow, this came at a perfect time. Difficult journey with sweet girl who happens to have ADHD.
Tracey says
My little guy didn’t sleep through the night for the longest time either.
Melanie Grace says
As Mom to three grown children I still find my breath taken away in sweet times and some not-so-sweet. Thanks for the chance to win this book.
Jennifer M says
I would find the time to read this – even if it’s only a paragraph a day! My little one is a sweetheart, but now that she’s a toddler… there are definitely moments that make me wonder how I’m going to make it to through this stage of our journey.
Kate Kupenova says
Thank you for reminding us that in motherhood there isn’t an option for vacation. As it is also in Kingdom work.
Marybeth says
Thank you for the encouragement today and the reminder to breathe. There have been many sleepless nights and desperate times that I have found myself on my knees. What a sweet letter from your son!
joan ilagan says
thank you for the post.
i would love to win a copy of this book.
Diana says
What a reminder we need to enjoy every day with our kids as we don’t know the future. My kids are grown but now our daughter and her 2 girls are living with us. We need to make memories for our grandkids that they will remember how much they are loved no matter what.
julianne says
I have been wanting to read this! 🙂
Jan says
I received the email, Patience on the Journey of Motherhood Holds Great Rewards! , just a few minutes ago. Wow… I am sending it to my daughter who is now raising girls, ages almost 13(July) , 15 and 16. She also has series health issues to deal with at the same time. Melissa is an awesome Mom, but I know she feels the pressure daily. I would love to win this book for her. God bless you for sending a much needed message from God our way.
Jan
Nicole says
Thank you, I needed to hear this message.
Beth says
THANK YOU for this!!!
Debe says
Reading some of the challenges faced by this courageous mom reminded me of my daughter and her sometimes struggles. She does have a husband, but he can work some strange hours, so she is staying home and taking on the majority of the parenting duties. They have their struggles – not wanting to do homework, not wanting to go to bed on time, and just frustration meltdown screaming fits, but she hangs in there and does an awesome job.
Rose says
I enjoyed reading this!!! Thanks for the encouraging words!!!
Anna says
Thanks for the encouragement, as a first-time mom I really needed this!
Laura S says
I loved this post. It spoke to exactly where I’m at with a 3 yr old and a 14 month old. It’s hard doing this mom thing all day long. My husband works 2 days for our church (though those days spill into other days and evenings!) and 3 days as a teacher (and those days spill into other days and evenings!) Sometimes the responsibilities and to do lists are immense. It is important to keep navigating the dark water together. Thank you for reminding me I am not alone, when I really needed to hear it.
Jennie says
Thanks for this post! I’m just starting out on this journey (with a 5 month old) and appreciate all the wisdom I can get! 🙂
Tina says
Your childhood sounds much like mine! I love my parents, but I, too, spent a lot of time alone. I desire to live as an intentional parent, loving lavishly and sacrificially! Thank you for this post!
Vicki says
Desperate looks like a great read! I need hope and a chance to breathe even with daughters in their 20’s.
Joanne says
I love this post and would love to win the book. My daughter is raising 5 children alone (without a husband) BUT not without God. I think it would be such an encouragement to her. And at this point in our lives we don’t have the resources to purchase for her. Thanks for writing the book and sharing God’ s work in you.
Jackie says
Thank you. I’ve heard that ministry starts with the family first. And no matter how are families appear, we all need Jesus!
Shaunta says
I wld love to win a copy for a friend. I read the book and it wonderful.
Shaunta says
I would ove t win a copy for a friend. I have read the book and especially loved the chapter called Formulas don’t always work.
Miranda says
Knee-deep in toddlerhood and newborn daze, I would so appreciate a copy.
Jenn says
Love this. Thank you.
Cheryl L says
What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing that perspective. I need to order this book for my daughter! (I may have to read it first) 😉
Hillarey says
Mmm! Love this! And with a toddler and a newborn… (both boys!) I would love a copy of Desperate!
Deanna says
I’d love this book! It is on my to buy list. In the meantime I’m enjoying all the posts written on it.
Lisa says
I am halfway through this book, which a friend has loaned to me. So many times I have had the urge to underline/highlight/circle/star/flag passages of the book! Would love to win a copy of my own. It has been such an encouragement and inspiration to me. I’ve been soaking up the videos and blog posts on the book as well. It all has truly been encouraging. Thank you for the chance to win.
Jessica says
Amen. So well put! This book is next in my library queue. Would love to win a copy.
Dee says
How grateful that INcourage has such a seasoned Godly mom who is a writer! Sally, you continue to bless all of us so much with your honesty and integrity. Thank you for the chance to receive a gifted copy!
Rachel says
Hi, I was blessed to receive this devotion/blog today. I am a current foster mother of 3 children (2,5 & 8) that we have had in our home for a month. Oh Man has it been a struggle. I haven’t wanted anything more in life than to be a mother. In our marriage we we blessed to get pregnant once, which ended in a miscarriage. We then decided to go through the process of becoming foster parents. Not fully realizing at the time what all comes with this. We have had 5 children come and go into our home. Now with these 3 new lives dangling in our hearts and hands, I am feeling completely inadequate to care for them and be the Mother they need me to be. I have been a compete mess and unlovable really from the start of the kids coming into our home. This devotion: Patience on the Journey of Motherhood Holds Great Rewards! has really opened my eyes to what God has planned for me and how I need to work on changing my thoughts and actions. We serve such a Might & Awesome God and grateful I have had the opportunity to get a glimpse into your journey! It is refreshing to see and know we are not alone in our struggles. Thank you for sharing and would be honored to read this book.
Anna says
I so needed to hear this and Sally’s post on Patience on the Journey today. I want to engage more with my kids and I want to love spending time with them. I’m praying for eyes to see them and a heart to love them as they are and learn how to mother them individually.
Thank you, (in)courage!
Julia says
Need it!!!!
Christyn says
Thank you for the reminder that every Momma needs to breathe!
Jill L says
We have a special needs child (our youngest), so at times, I feel I don’t pay enough attention to my older kids. And I believe our “instant gratification” world, along with all the online distractions have made it more of a challenge to truly parent our children. Spending, no I should say wasting, less time online is a goal I work on every day so I can be a better mother and wife. Thank you for your post!!!
Suzanne says
“If we want to raise emotionally and spiritually healthy children that turn into emotionally and spiritually healthy adults, we have got to give our time to the work.”
Amen! I forget this so often – when I am discouraged or had that parenting fail. Praise the Lord that Jesus came for mommys and daddys too 🙂
Harmony Allen says
::Ouch! This is speaking to my very soul. Thankyou for the kick in the butt;) I think I need to recheck some of my priorities. I would love to read this book::
Faith G says
“If we want to raise emotionally and spiritually healthy children that turn into emotionally and spiritually healthy adults, we have got to give our time to the work.”
I love the strength God gives us as moms to “give our time”. What a beautiful discipline to lay ourselves aside and give to our children.
Maria G. says
Would love to read this! I am a mom of ten and there are days I definitely need encouragement even though I’ve been doing the parenting gig for 20 years.
Muriel Lee says
I just became a mother on April 19th from a lovely babyboy named Sean. I love him, enjoy being a mother but I am also having difficult times. When he is crying and there is nothing to stop him from crying, I would think I am a worthless mom. Would love to win this!
Joyce M. says
So many moms/parents need to hear this message.
Crystal R says
Would LOVE to win a copy of this book!! I have been wanting to read it since it came out.
Tammi says
I would like to read this book. Sounds very helpful.
Hilary Garzarelli says
This mama of 7 (ages 9-20!) would love to win a copy.
Kirsten D says
As a mama of a 20-mo-old, a 5-mo-old, and one newly on the way, I found myself spending most of today feeling exhausted and just trying to breathe. I’d love to read the book as the Kindle preview looks excellent!
Cindy R says
What a great post and would love to read the book!
Teresa Dumadag says
I would be delighted to win a copy of this book. I also feel desperate many days doing my best to be a wife and mother and I survive these days all by the grace of God!
Teresa M. says
This was a message that I have been trying to live since my oldest was born almost 10 years ago. I will do my best to finish the race set before me as a mother. It is only through love and grace that my efforts will bear fruit.
cheryl jandesu says
Yet again, Sally, you have got it spot on… Started with Educating the Whole hearted Child, loved your books and blogs since then. I am a HOme schooling mum of 7 children and often need “time to breathe”. Thank you and I can’t wait to read this new book
cheryl
Kaila says
I love this post so very much! I agree, and what a thought out thing being a mom is! It isn’t easy, but it’s got heavenly value for sure! I struggle daily and am thankful for grace.
I’d love to win the book too 🙂
Kristen O'Brien says
As a mom of 5 month old twins and a 3 yr old I REALLY needed to read this post 🙂 Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone 🙂 I confess that I fall to Veggie Tales and Tinker Bell to entertain my 3 yr old. It’s not okay. I know that every day God gets me through. every. day. I am stretched, exhausted and clinging to my Savior. And I’m not alone. It’s a blessing to know that every night time feeding, dish that’s washed, laundry folded, hours coloring and painting with Ellie, hours on the floor with babies… are all work for the Kingdom. It makes it ALL worth it. I love when God convicts my heart. It reminds me that I’m worth it to Him and He will finish the work He started. Thank you again!
Abbey says
I have had a string of seriously tough days with my little ones…I could definitely use this book!
Jaicel says
I am a proud mother to 4 wonderful kids! Spending time with them is such a wonderful blessing for God! I am fortunate and grateful that my work allows employees’ children to be at the office specially during summer time.
I am always grateful to the Almighty for my children. They are the best blessings I received from Him. My children strengthens my relationship with my husband, with my family, with my friends and my colleagues.
Kellye says
Yes and Amen! It is Kingdom work and I also have no road map. My husband and I feel the importance or raising disciples, and work on it everyday. And all those voices of self-doubt come in… It is a battle for our and their lives! Thanks so much for writing this book. I’d love one and would share with friends. 🙂
Kate says
Your edifying and challenging words inspire me onward and against passiveness as I go through much of the day to day of being a mom to small children. There is so much to learn. So much of God’s grace I am desperate for right now!
Dragana says
Hi, i am a mom of three little ones. i would love to have this book, It seems that has a lot of personal thoughts and experiences so i can learn from. And it is writers personal walk with God in the calling of motherhood. I am form the country Macedonia, Europe, In our country we don`t have as mush christian literature. Especially on this topic. I am currently in the US and i will be here until May 27. I would love if i can have this book.
Christi says
Win or lose I’m getting this book! Can’t wait to get my hands on it!
Lois says
This is an awesome post and has talked about the reality on the ground. We are usually too busy doing our own things we forget to get to know our children. The book would be awesome to have. Thanx again for the awesome post
Dani Byham says
Man, I have often felt like I was floundering too-not having a mom around to give me a visual on how I was supposed to do this mothering thing! And so I have been guilty of swinging to extremes. Some days, in exhaustion, I tune my kids out and send them away so I can have a break from the neediness. Other times I get caught up in lists, and another week I may spend so much “intentional” time that I neglect the rest of my responsibilities!
But this post is a great reminder to set our perspective on the teaching of our children-no matter how independent they become. Thank you.
Nedra says
The title of your book describes my desperate daughter as a young Mom. Would love to give her your book.
Heather H says
I feel the same way. My parents were good parents and so were my in laws, but they parented differently from how I want to parent and I often forget to lean on Jesus to help me do it. Another great post, Sarah Mae!
Mary B says
Oh Wow! The title of this book is exactly how I feel on those days when I can’t seem to get the journey of parenting right. What a great post & great giveaway. I would love to win a copy! Thanks for the chance.
Damaris says
I am a mother of a 17 and 19 year old boys. My husband and I were separated for two and a half years. We have been together for two years rebuilding a family life and time with them has been so hard. Your post has reminded me that no matter how hard it is worth the hard work. Thank you for sharing.
Dannette says
I’m a single mom of a now almost 27 year old daughter. We had some precious times as she was growing up. I’m now involved in helping to raise my 12 year old nephew as he and his mom now live with me. We’re dealing with a young man trying to find his way and his place in his new home. He’s had a lot of upheaval in his life and his actions/behavior are wearing us all out. I want to have some of those precious times with him but it has been difficult so far. I know that with God’s help, we will make it through so I’m not giving up on him!
S.V says
Would love to read your book!!! Have heard so much about it!!!
S.V says
Would love to have your book! Have heard so much about it!!! Thanks!
Nacole says
I would love to read the book. Maybe it could help in the situation I find myself in. I have been battling chronic illness for 3 1/2 years, and I’m just tired. I want this to be over with so that I can be healthy enough to raise healthy children. I am much like you, in my raising. When we lack mentors, books can help us so much, but unfortunately, they can’t replace them.
Joan B says
This was an awesome read – I have 2 daughters who are at different stages with their children one under 10 and the other has 2 teens – this is perfect for both.
Lisa says
A friend just recommended this book. I’d love to win a copy!
Mariah says
I loved this post! I would love to win this book!
Missy says
I think the book giveaway is over, but I wanted to comment and let you know, Sarah Mae, how deeply this struck a nerve. That nerve needed to be exposed (and convicted). And this post did it for me. I find myself asking questions, now, about what exactly I’m actually doing WITH my babes, instead of simply what they’re doing. Thank you!!!
Helene says
Thank you for sharing this. We first generation Christian moms really need all the guidance we can get. You are making great “deposits” in the lives’ of so many!
Monica McClellan says
Too oft I keep my eyes on myself, and what I “am not getting” or “what I am failing to do.” What a spirit lift this is to remind myself that this is God’s calling for me, and I am to “Rejoice; in all things, Rejoice!”
Jill says
My husband has been deployed for four months and I am guilty of disconnecting from my kids because of my own emotional inability to handle three strong willed children. I need to read this book!
Julie says
I would love to read this book. How much independence to encourage/force on our kids has been a topic of several discussions between my husband and me.
Rachel says
WOW! What a great post. Definitely need to work on this. I’ve read a couple of recent posts here and they are great. I would love a chance to win this book. Thank You.
Stephanie says
I think God led me to this post, as I honestly just stumbled upon it. I needed to read this today, as I’ve really been struggling the past week with my 7 yr old daughter and twin 6 yr olds. I’d lOve this book!
Stephanie says
I think God led me to this post, as I honestly just stumbled upon it. I needed to read this today.
Sarah Dittmer says
I enjoy and appreciate Sarah Mae’s perspective on parenting. I am a mother of three young children: 4 1/2yo, 3yo, and 1yo.
Erika says
Looks like a wonderful read! I have yet to become a mom but I want to prepare myself beforehand so that I can be of great service to my Lord and show my unborn child from today that I intend to be the great mom he deserves me to be.
Randi says
Hi Sarah, thanks for writing this post. It’s often difficult to speak truth with regards to raising our children. Raising children is a passion area of mine, I see how so many traps of my society have made raising children challenging for me and my friends. But your last question says it all, if we don’t raise them, who will? Thank you for speaking boldly!
Racs says
I really love the ideas shared so far! It is my desire and daily goal to be intentional as a parent and mother. Would really love to win a copy of this book to learn and share with others! Keep up the good work Sarah
Sarah says
Thanks for the challenging read!
Meli says
I am going to strive daily to be more intentional as a mother. Thank you!
Dena says
Being a mom of three boys 10 and under, I can guarantee I can relate and enjoy reading this book!
Rachel Hammond says
I love the reminder to be intentional with my kids, because I too can be tired, cranky, and trying to get a million other things done instead of stopping and being with them…only them. It’s important…desperately important!! Thanks for your thoughts!
Mrs. V says
Thank you for the encouragement and reminder to engage!
Diana says
Well, that’s me. I only had my mom pray with me before bed if I was scared. If I had ba dreams I could yell her name, frightened, from bed for hours and she would seldom appear to pray with me again. I wet the bed, I’d change it and keep on sleeping. Etc. I’m really struggling here as a mom. I’m overwhelmed and don’t know what I’m doing. My next sted is quitting Facebook to allow me to breathe more, with my child besides me. Hope The Lord help me and give my child the mother he deserves, for he is the best humans being I know (besides his dad, with differences and all, LOL). Thank you for writing this way! God bless you and keep you! 🙂
Diana says
I only had my mom pray with me before bed if I was scared. If I had ba dreams I could yell her name, frightened, from bed for hours and she would seldom appear to pray with me again. I wet the bed, I’d change it and keep on sleeping. Etc. I’m really struggling here as a mom. I’m overwhelmed and don’t know what I’m doing. My next sted is quitting Facebook to allow me to breathe more, with my child besides me. Hope The Lord help me and give my child the mother he deserves, for he is the best humans being I know (besides his dad, with differences and all, LOL). Thank you for writing this way! God bless you and keep you! 🙂
jana says
i would love this book. like many things in life, the easy (lazy) is not the best way.
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