About the Author

Amber C Haines, author of Wild in the Hollow, has 4 sons, a guitar-playing husband, theRunaMuck, and rare friends. She loves the funky, the narrative, and the dirty South. She finds community among the broken and wants to know your story. Amber is curator with her husband Seth Haines of Mother...

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  1. My father had the same beginning. It is part of me, and I embrace her strength to keep and raise her son who became a pastor. Thank you for your beauty in your words.

  2. Thank you for choosing to run! And, thank you for leaving a “trail” of your words, love and hope for those of us who are feeling God stirring in us…calling us to run as well! Bless you…you bless us!

  3. I, too, have a fear of rejection but have been unable to identify its root(s). I was raised in a loving Christian home with no experiences that would cause shame. What is this that holds me back from loving openly the stranger, the sinner, those who are desperate for help? I have long pondered and prayed for an answer, yet still feel so helpless. I have an awesome husband actively involved in ministry and whole-heartedly support him, but have felt incapable of reaching out on my own. I sincerely feel God has more for me to do but feel paralyzed.

      • I think someone down the line (Beth Williams) may have hit on at least part of my problem–perfectionism and the fear of making a mistake! I have recognized it in some areas of my life but not so much in this one. Thanks for the opportunity to share and hear from others.

  4. This is my story, too…and hearing someone else tell it is so healing…I can already feel Hope rising…!! 🙂

  5. Thank you for sharing your story, it will help so many. My grandfather passed away when my mom and aunt were just 5. My father abused my mom, and she fled when I was an infant and my sister was a toddler. I always felt a sense of abandonment, never having met my father. I have been married now to a wonderful man for forty years, and what gives me hope is knowing my true Father is my heavenly Father, who will never leave my side.

  6. This is one of the most honest, forthright and loving works of sisterhood I have ever read. I am an avid reader who reads almost as much as I breathe while awake. You are worthy of our Father’s blessings and my heart’s applause. May it give you joy to know you have truly blessed my day and I plan to keep my copy of this with my journal to renew later on.

  7. Loved the post Amber! Thank you for sharing such open honest words! I am positive it will help many many women!

    My fear is not so much rejection, but of making a mistake. I have a hard time speaking in public or getting in front of crowds, and yet–God has helped me to cure that fear a little. I get up in front of my church and do sign language to music. At times I am scared, but mostly I just let the Holy Spirit and God work through me to bless the congregation.

    • Beth, it’s interesting that you share this. Perfectionism is another one of my biggest struggles, and a friend helped me see that behind that struggle is an issue of control. That’s how it is for me anyway. It’s almost like I’ve had to get rid of my acceptance issues to even see how deep the control issues go. It’s hard to leave results with God, but it’s terribly goofy not to – at the same time.

      Thank you for sharing.

  8. Sometimes I believe it’s not just rejection, but fear of never being accepted in the first place {by others or someone in particular}, as if I’m trying to get “in” somewhere. I’m looking forward to your journey. And the way you’re writing in all of it, I likey a lot.

    • Bev, it’s so true. It’s like something clicks. When I’m believing that He loved me first, my entire life seems to pull in the direction of HOPE, and from that, I am genuinely loving others. It has an exponential effect.

  9. This version is (NASB) “Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5).
    But if you click on the link it is: English Standard Version (ESV)
    and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

    Romans 5:5 (NASB)
    and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

  10. Amber, thanks for this post. I too have been a victim of shame, and control issues. I am working on it, but it is a hard habit to break! With God’s help I WILL!

  11. I’m right here in this… “I’ve so overly empathized with those wrestling doubt and disbelief that I forgot about HOPE”. There are multiple moments daily to choose the hope. Thank you for encouragement to keep choosing just before this day ends!

  12. Rejection has been a large part of my life. If I did not know that God loves me and have the hope that one day I will be home where I will never be rejected again, I would not have the strength to face each day.

  13. My momma died when I was 4. My father would do horrible things to me & my three siblings & disappear sometime for days, sometimes for months. One day he left my younger brother & I and never came back. He kept my sisters though, i supose they were good enough. My brother got adopted. Everyone wants a baby but I was already 6. I lived in 9 homes in about 2 years. Some were really good some were very abusive. When I was 8 I got adopted by distant family but they never treated me good either. A couple months ago they decided that they didn’t want me anymore either. My very gracious & godly English teacher opened her heart & home & has welcomed me not just to live with them but to finally truely have a family. I understand the fear of rejection. It’s been a pretty common theme in my life so far. Thank you for your beautiful words. They sung to my soul. I know I can get back up & run because as It says in Psalm 27 “Though my father & my mother forsake me The Lord will lift me up”.

  14. This is redemption, Amber. The bravery that comes from tasting His sweetness and refusing any other drink in His stead.

    Cheering you on, woman of valor. So proud of you.

  15. Amber, this is beautiful and beautifully conveyed! Shame, fear and rejection are totally passed down! I have been plagued by these emotions my whole life. Only now, in my 30s, is the Lord setting me free from them. It is a struggle at times but I know that getting free is worth the fight. There are others on the others side of my freedom that need to know God’s truth and promises that I am learning.

    My prayer is that I begin to fully realize how wide and how high and how deep is God’s love for me. I know that that is what will give me hope and a sense of identity.
    This is my fave quote! “… the Holy Spirit speaks to us within our own broken hearts.”
    That just resonates in the depths of my soul. I am SO thankful that He pursues us and speaks life, hope and healing to our hearts.

    Grateful that you shared this truth and what the Lord is doing in your heart. We are all journeying together. Have I mentioned that I am proud of you? Because I am!!!!!