We’d just relocated to a new area, and I was out shopping for groceries with my toddler son. We had family coming to town that weekend, so I made a special stop at a higher-end, expensive grocery store to pick up some hard-to-find ingredients for a family meal.
While parking the car and wrangling my son out of his seat, I took note of all the Mercedes and Audis in the parking lot. These luxury cars reaffirmed in my mind that we were at a more upscale grocer.
I looked down at the floor of my car in need of a good vacuuming and felt an instant rush of unworthiness.
Inside, after gathering our ingredients, my son and I waited in line to pay. I looked about and saw some business people on their lunch break , dressed impeccably in suits and rushing to get back to work.
I felt a pang of jealousy for what I perceived as their importance.
I also saw the woman ahead of me in line – trendy bag slung over her shoulder, ring finger almost disappearing under her stacked diamonds and her designer label shoes. Once again, I made a mental comparison against myself.
My hoodie and flip-flops didn’t quite cut the mustard.
How did I feel walking out of that grocery store? I felt badly about myself and my situation in life. I let the enemy whisper lies into my ear – lies of unworthiness, lies of inadequacy and lies that smacked of materialism.
I was immediately convicted by the Holy Spirit. I had allowed every one of the blessings in my life to pale in comparison to those few superficial observations.
Instead of feeling joy in knowing that I was free to stay home with my son because God paved a financial way for that to happen, I felt unimportant.
When I should have been thankful for God’s timing in bringing us to this new area and orchestrating our move to another state, instead, I felt unsure and self-conscious.
Instead of looking at the precious gift at my side and his upturned face, innocent eyes gleaming with wonder, I was looking at “things.”
I prayed a prayer of repentance and asked God to forgive me. The Lord used a quick errand to gently remind me that the process of walking with Him requires my eyes to be trained upward toward Jesus and nowhere else.
In the same way that Peter removed his gaze from Jesus and began to slip under the waves, it is the same for us. No matter what situation we find ourselves in – a difficult day disciplining the children, a health matter, financial stress or even a routine stop at the store – it doesn’t matter. Jesus is there, holding out His hand, beckoning us closer even still.
There is no greater peace or hope available anywhere.
Thank you, Father, for your merciful grace in our lives. Let us keep our eyes on you, Lord Jesus.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2 (NIV)
By: Erin Rodgers
Photo Credit: Memphis CVBLeave a Comment