You look around and you find yourself standing at the edge of a shoreline. You can see it coming up ahead. A huge tidal wave.
You have no doubt that it will reach you. You start to tremble. What do you do?
Maybe you consider running, but you quickly realize you’re out of time, and there’s no way you’ll run far enough or fast enough.
So you decide to hunker down. You’re praying, and you are reminded of God’s love for you. His protection, His affection, it’s all there, but you decide to keep those things in your hand. You ball up into the smallest ball you can turn yourself into, hunched down on that shore, hand clenched tight with Jesus inside. You imagine that if you hold that small piece of God, just hold on tight, that it will be enough.
But you start to worry about that wave again. Oh, it’s a doozy. You very well might not be able to stand the impact, even with that piece of God in your hand.
So what can you really do?
I work through long held heart-issues and I can even get temporary freedom from them. That is, until I wake up the next day and it’s groundhog day all over again, and I wonder what all that praying was for. All that surrendering I did. I knew the Truth, I believed — so why wasn’t it enough?
This week I shared a story about letting go of shame from my past, 10 years later. And when this happened, just a few days ago, I learned something completely new. I knew what it was that had to be done differently this time.
I don’t need to just know that hard stuff is going to hit me, and then steel up and stand there and get pelted while holding tiny bits of Truth in my hand, hoping it’s all enough.
What I needed to do was see that hard stuff coming, and become bigger and unreachable. Untouchable, even.
How do you do this, when you face the hard heart-issues? How do you face fear, condemnation, shame, judgment, and all their horrible friends, and get through unscathed?
By letting God’s love grow big.
(This is not just a cliche – stay with me here, friends.)
Instead of curling up into a ball and letting the storm hit and just praying I make it through, I can receive His love, let it grow big, and let it make me untouchable. I let His love wash away ALL of the lies I’m believing. All those fallacies. I let His love change my mind about myself.
There is a place of freedom I’m being called into. A wholeness. He wants to make me whole. That place is peace and love and yes, untouchable. Oh how the lines fall in beautiful places.
Let God’s love grow you big, bigger than the tidal wave ahead that you see coming. Bigger than that issue which stresses you to your core. Bigger than those people who don’t understand you, don’t know you. Bigger than those hurts that are not yet healed.
Let Him be big.
Arianne blogs at Mabel + Riv, a lifestyle blog about faith, family and style and lives with her 4 children and husband in Phoenix Arizona.