Lynne Hartke
About the Author

Lynne is a lover of God. Of family. Of community. Of pursuing dreams. Of encountering God on blank pages, open hearts, desert trails, and full lives. Her first book, "Under a Desert Sky" releases in May 2017.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
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Reader Interactions


  1. How He moves through our children as they grow is so remarkable. Miraculous.

    Rich blessings, Lynne, as He speaks to you through your son, and as He leads you ever closer to those dreams He’s given you.

  2. Wise words from you husband. We are in the final stages of “men-raising” ourselves. The first one is married, the second one will be soon. The 3rd one leaves the nest in May and heads to college.

    How many times I have had to bite my tongue and let them figure it out, but because of that, I see how they have grown and learned how to make responsible (mostly 🙂 decisions on their own! Skills they will DEF need in this life.

    I LOVE his resolution….”I remembered who I was!!!!”

    • Karen – I have those teeth marks in my tongue also! Our youngest of four (2 girls, 2 boys) will also be heading to college next year. I know he is ready. I’m not sure that I am!

      • I just had to comment again. Our 17 yo came in tonight and had gotten his first (and hopefully only) speeding ticket. He was crushed. We just sat and listened to him as he sorted through the action and consequences. We then helped him read through the directions for paying and finding out about traffic school. OH….a part of my heart wanted to make it all better, but this choice and the consequences are his. May it be a great (if painful) lesson learned.

        • Ah yes, speeding tickets and fender benders. Been through both with our kids. I think one of the hardest lessons was when our grown daughter took our youngest driving after he got his permit and he damaged her car!

  3. I absolutely love what your husband said,“We will support him from beside, from a position of strength,” my husband says, “not rush ahead of him, putting him in a position of weakness.” This is insightful. I think we as mothers want to protect and rush in and help. I’ve never thought of this as putting this in a position of weakness. I don’t want weak children…

    • I think there are times we need to go ahead of them, but as our children get older, we need to step beside them and be advisers and mentors. When my husband spoke those words, I knew they were truth – a difficult truth I needed to hear.

  4. When I read this I thought about submission, and how hard it is to let go and let our children make decisions. How hard it is to even watch them make wrong decisions. How much we want to “fix everything” to detour them from pain. And yet – how will they grow? How will they become get strong?
    Parenting is so difficult . . .and so rewarding. Thank you for this post!

  5. Wise words from your husband. Too often I see parents who “coddle” their children even into adulthood and then the child/adult can’t truly function on his/her own.

    It is hard to let go and let them make choices/mistakes of their own, but that is how they learn and survive in this cold cruel world!

  6. I love the comment you can cut the umbilical cord, but still be heavy with child. That is a never truer statement, no matter how old the child. I am raising little women, not boys, but this a such a potent writing.

  7. Thank you for this; we too stand at the edge of the same mountain! My son with special needs is 17, will be 18 in March coming. We just went through his third psychiatric hospitalization this year. We ask ourselves, “What next?” He still needs to not only remember who his is, but must discover who he is. A monumental step for all of us and a journey we don’t fully complete until we are on the other side of the glass, darkly.

  8. I am so grateful for your post. I’ve been yearning for some parenting lessons on how to be that advisor to my 19 year old, who acts dependent but doesn’t really want us to tell her what to do. 🙂 Your list of questions are of great help.,,,and I LOVE the reminder of the Jacob story–wrestling. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • I have a 20 year old daughter still living at home while she goes to college. I understand the high wire balancing act it can be. Thanks for commenting.

  9. Excellent post! My son who is 17 tells me I am overprotective. I let him fight his own battles, but like you said, it is so hard sitting on the sidelines when you are used to being a Momma Bear! So glad to hear I’m not the only one struggling! Thank you.

  10. In reading this, I was taken back in time when my 16 year old came to me and told me she was pregnant. Although my heart was broken, I took it calmly and we faced the situation together with the grace of our Lord.

    When asked why she did not choose abortion being so young, she replied, “I made an adult choice so I will do the adult thing and accept the consequences,” I was never so proud of her as I was at the moment. Being a parent isn’t ever easy but seeing how our children handle life is more rewarding than patting ourselves on the back as to how we raised “perfect children.” As we all know there is no such animal.

  11. Thank you, everyone, for your comments. Parenthood is definitely not for the faint at heart, but is so rewarding, as you all know. I am glad we have Someone to whom we can go and ask for wisdom. He has been so faithful (and often so practical) for me.

  12. Lynne,
    Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing what is in the heart of each caring mother who wrestles with how to love and release at the same time.