Christine Hoover
About the Author

Christine Hoover is the author of From Good to Grace and the forthcoming book, Messy Beautiful Friendship. She is a church planting pastor's wife and mom of three boys.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
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Reader Interactions


  1. I don’t know if I ever been asked this, but I always appreciate it when someone asks me something personal (realizing that I’m a real person, too!). My experience as a pastor’s wife has been drastically different in each of the churches that we’ve been in…sometimes I have found it hard to continue to be myself, who God has called me to be.

  2. Beautifully and succinctly said! In my more sanctified moments, I would be able to respond in just the way you’ve written. 😉 Thank you for sharing your heart. Blessings!

  3. Thank you-thoughtful and well said. I do not think I have articulated myself as well when fact…there are days when I have rolled my eyes.

    • I know what you mean. I truly want to be honest with people but not complain, especially when I’m talking to someone in our church! I don’t want them to think that my struggles and challenges in being the pastor’s wife means that I don’t love the people we are serving.

  4. I have noticed a huge misconception about wives of pastors. Many think we have no problems because of who we are married to. They have been shocked to know that the enemy attacks constantly. Sometimes I want to scream…. I am a real person just like you! But your words are much nicer:)

  5. Very well said! I love, love, love being a PW but sometimes the expectations are difficult. I am often astonished at how I am supposed to listen to everyone but very few ask about me! That’s what makes my BFFs so wonderful. It is truly an honor to be a PW!!

  6. Thanks for sharing your heart as a pastors wife! You shared your heart with such grace and it is refreshing to know we are not alone 🙂

  7. This was beautiful. It must be hard to live up to people’s expectations of perfection. I would think they might expect more from you because you ARE a pastor’s wife. But, you are real, just like them.

  8. This has greatly touched me. Though I am not a pastor’s wife, my mother is. I have seen first hand what she has had to go through, and though there have been tough times, she counts it all joy. Thank you for writing this. It has stirred my soul.

  9. Amen & Halleluia! I have tears in my eyes…you have beautifully described my life as a PW! Thank you for giving me an answer I can share with my people!

  10. My husband left the banking industry and I became a church planters wife. I was sadly aware of the situations we were not invited to anymore and the reality that we were no longer a “regular” couple, but now we were the Pastor and his wife…….even at our children’s school functions, people treated us a bit differently, more cautious of their conversations etc… lonely at times and I realize it’s very hard to find real friendships. Funny, because I didn’t change when we were called to ministry, but my “title” did……….it keeps me close to the one who’s expectations and opinion really matters.

  11. Thanks so much for sharing your heart in a very upbeat and positive way. You said it all exactly as I have felt it. I love my position but it so nice to hear it stated and also validated. I am a pastor’s wife of 37 years. It has it ups and down but God is great and He is good and most of all He will be glorfied!
    Many Blessings!

  12. I just finished reading “What Your Pastor’s Wife Wants You To Know” and I believe it was meant for me this morning. How could you possibly know how what I have been thinking or feeling lately, except by God allowing you to write these meaningful words to minister to my heart. I, too, am a pastor’s wife and sometimes feel overwhelmed and at times feel (okay I will say it) under appreciated in my role as a pastor’s wife. Although my husband works a full time job and is considered in a part-time capacity at the church, we are always available to our congregation. Thank you again for your words of encouragement. Blessings, Yvonne

    • I think everyone wants to be appreciated for what they do and who they are, including the pastor’s wife. If you are reading this and you appreciate your pastor’s wife, tell her why today! She likely could use the encouragement.

  13. Very well said Christine. People need to stop criticizing the pastor, his wife or their family & show them the love they deserve. They all put in long hours of work.

    My pastor’s wife works outside the home, teaches Sunday school, women’s Bible study, and works with the youth of our church, She is also very involved in Relay for Life and give talks all over the area. She even battled breast cancer a few years ago and is dealing with an aging parent 5 hrs. away.

    Our church is blessed to have her and her husband. I wouldn’t trade them for anything!

  14. There are times, other than my family & God, that I feel I am flying solo. Woman can be mean, undermining, and resentful. I thought as a pastors wife, I was the only one going thru this. I have no other woman to talk to, I cant have a friend bcuz others will tear her down because she is near me alot and jealousy & rage becomes very apparent, and life feels lonely at times. Brakes my heart. But then someone gets the holy ghost, and you see new life bloom before your eyes and you are reminded of Gods beauty is beyond additudes in this world. Gods work may be heart wrenching @ times, but when I look up, I am reminded of this, ~Keep your chin up princess, or the crown will fall. Daddy’s here, and Ive got this sissy. Its gonna be ok. ~Jesus

  15. I don’t understand how people don’t realize when they hurt your husband, his wife feels it too. We have a church where our trustee board constantly fights the pastor. Thanks for the encouraging words. Trying to heal. Pray for me.