About the Author

Christie is a Youth Pastor's wife, an adoptive stay-at-home mom to a beautiful little girl, a blogger, and Jesus lover! She is a sinner saved by grace and her heart is to reach women with the love of Christ; especially those impacted by infertility and adoption.

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  1. This was written for me this morning. Thank you for the wonderful reminder that God is always there, even through our pain.

  2. I too have been through the roller coaster of parenthood starting with an ectopic pregnancy 4 months into our marriage. We have been blessed with a beautiful and amazing one year son, but the day after his birthday, I had surgery to remove an incomplete miscarriage. It is tough to remember sometimes that I am a mom of three when I am only rushing to get the one out the door.
    Bless you for sharing your pain and healing words and presence of God. Some days it is a struggle to praise Him for our blessings and not complain and blame him for the two souls we have laid back in ahis arms.

  3. This is filled with pain wrapped in beautiful hope…you have been tried by these fires…and in these fires…gold has been found. I have known some of this pain…and yes…His grace is sufficient. blessings to you~

  4. I have always “gone to church” growing up…but as Christie’s mother and having gone through the roller coaster of pain and joy, I have come to know and praise our precious God. He is with us every step of the way and never give up hope. When troubled, pray and know that God is in control.

    We have been SO very blessed with Moriah and she is perfect!

  5. Christie,
    Thank you for sharing your story so beautifully. Your peace through this journey is inspiring! I have a similar story including 3 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy and 2 little miracles (Hope – 4 and Joshua – 1). He was ALWAYS there because he is faithful. Thank you for giving of yourself to encourage women who walk similar roads to the one we’ve walked. Blessings to you as he continues to write the story of your family.

  6. When I was 26 I said good-bye to my baby boy, who was born too early. He was my fourth “failed” pregnancy. Three miscarriages later, and much physical and emotional trauma, we also went through the adoption preparation. We waited a long three years only to have a bmom choose to keep. But then our hearts’ longing was fulfilled with our beautiful son and I KNEW why I had waited so long. It was for HIM. God is good even through the pain. Your story was one I would have longed to have read back in the day. I know you will touch many lives with your story. I pray that God fills your heart and arms to the brim.

  7. Your post is really beautiful. I have several friends who have endured miscarriages, adoption struggles and infertility, and have always felt unable to comfort them in a truly understanding way. I would love to share this post with them. You truly are witnessing to the love and grace of Christ in a world that tends toward bitterness and cynicism. God bless you!!

  8. What a beautiful post my friend! Thank you for sharing your story. There are so many women who will be touched by your testimony. Our God is so faithful! 🙂 Blessings to you and your family!

  9. What a blessed and trying experience. It truly helps get through those difficult times when we rely on our Savior. He know our pain and He is always there for us.

  10. Thank you for sharing. This with us. It feels like after a miscarriage that God isn’t there but is great to be reminded that He is.

  11. Thank you so much for sharing!! It’s a blessing to not feel so alone! At 22 I had stillborn at 5 months, at 30 multiple miscarriages, to find out so much scar tissue would have to have surgery. At 34 — flew out to st Louis twice even met the 4 other mothers and babies that the bm had adopted out ( she has placed 7 out of 8 babies she had for adoption) She said she changed her mind and was keeping the baby. To find out that she placed the baby with couple that gave her $30K… I thought the door had closed on me being a Mommy! Well you know God is in his timing! At 37 God placed Jacob in my arms. Wonderful relationship with both sides of his birth families!! My baby turns 5 next month!!!

  12. Just yesterday we found out our birthmom chose to keep the baby we thought we’d be bringing home soon. The last 24 hours have been filled with more tears than I can ever remember shedding in my life. Thank you for your words today – for sharing your story and reminding me that God is right here in this pain.

  13. What a beautiful post…we’ve walked so many of the same paths, infertility, waiting, and loss, and have found through it and now in the aftermath, that He is indeed MORE than enough!

  14. Oh, sweet sister! What a beautiful testimony to God’s faithfulness!! I love how you emphasized that God was there. It is only through His grace that we are able to see that and I love that He was so very close. May God bless you and your husband as you continue to share your story for the glory of our great God!

  15. We are the Mama and Daddy of 5. One that we were blessed to raise to adulthood, 3 that are waiting in heaven for us and 1 that we had in our home for almost a year through foster/adopt that the courts decided to place with birth mom. Our hearts ache for our little ones that left us too soon, but we are so blessed to have had our daughter until she was grown. Nothing can prepare you for the empty arms of infertility or miscarriages, but through it all the Lord has had us wrapped in His arms 🙂

  16. Christine,

    Wow what a roller coaster you’ve been on! I have been on several roller coasters in my life with my againg parents. The first time was with my mother and her dementia and eventual sundowner’s. She ended up bedridden and totally dependant on soemone else for care. Hospice was a God send for my dad. It finally came to an end when she died in 2009 at 84.

    Now my dad is going through many health issues–had skin cancer, depression, not eating well–if much at all, just old age stuff (87). He also states that he wants a nursing home–no longer wants to live alone and make decisions. I’m dealing with all this and a super stressful job at the same time.

    I am blessed to have wonderful people around me–God, my oldest sister, who is retired, my hubby, and my great church family. They all help me cope with this!

    In the midst of both situaions GOD WAS THERE! He saw/sees each tear and hears my pleas for answers!

    Great post!

  17. Thank you for posting, Christie. I’m so thankful for your first-hand knowledge of His faithful care and presence through every situation, even the most painful. Your testimony brings glory to Him, so keep writing and speaking it out! May you be blessed with His comfort and the way He turns mourning into dancing,

  18. Thank you for your beautiful post, Christie. I have walked through the same fire of infertility and adoption and God has given me life changing testimony and a story to tell. I have 3 beautiful children, all adopted through the foster care system and am so thankful for the amazing way God made me a mom! His plan and timing are perfect, of that we can always be assured.

  19. Thank you. My heart is breaking over babies gone too soon. Trying to remember that God is still here.

  20. this post brought tears to my eyes… we too struggled with infertility and lost 4 babies that we prayed so hard for. after 5 years we were finally blessed with 4 little ones, but I will never forget those years of having empty arms. beautiful post and I’m sure your story comforts many!!

  21. Christie, beautiful testemony…full of the grace of God in your life. How blessesd your little girl is to have you and hubby as parents. We were married 12 years before we had our first and that was after 6 misscarriages. One more misscarriage followed our daugher then we had a son. I understand too the pain and longing to have that most basic need in us women filled…to be a mother, our bodies are created to house a child, our arms are made to hold them, we are given more tears to cry for them. Blessing my sister, blessings on your life.

  22. Although I don’t want anyone to have to go through all the struggles in all these stories, it helps to not feel alone. I would agree that God is there through all of it.
    I’m a married mom of 3 beautiful girls, 2, 5 and 9. There’s also a boy, whom I carried 17 weeks. He simply got tangled up, and a week later, my body thankfully realized it and went into labor.
    I’ve been very frustrated about how this year I started replaying in my mind what happened in my family 4 years ago. Honestly I thought I was over all this. I think maybe I had blocked some stuff out. But then for some reason this year my memory improved and more details came back.

    On a funny note…I realized maybe I had been in a fog, when I finally solved the cheese stick mystery.

    One day my husband gathered the family together and asked how 2 cheese sticks got in the wall sconce in the stairwell. We all looked at him blankly. That truly was odd. It took me weeks to realize it was ME. At the kids’ request, I tossed the cheese sticks over the ledge down into the stairwell . But they landed on the lamp and they got stuck. Then the kids asked for more cheese sticks. The poor cheese sticks stayed there till the light bulb burned out.
    Okay back to serious stuff.
    Maybe memory loss is a good thing, maybe its a bad thing. Its good to remember happy things, its funny to solve cheese stick mysteries, but its really sad to remember a loss. This season I started to replay it in my head…that hour during the night when I realized something was really wrong…the delivery… the arrival of EMTs (in fireman suits!)… my kids watching me get taken to the emergency room…returning to my part time job, and being unable to talk about it without feeling like I was going to throw up.
    Perhaps the biggest blessing of all this was that while I was recovering, I had extra time to make extra calls to my 99 year old grandma who was getting alarmingly too weak to hold her phone. Because I sensed how she was doing, two weeks after I lost my baby, we decided to travel three states away, to be with her, and it turned out to be her final day.
    But with a loss on top of a loss, I felt like I’d been blindsided for months. Then I started feeling better.
    So that was 4 years ago. This season I started feeling worse again.. tears.. frustration, exhaustion. No one wants to relive this stuff. I ‘ll be honest, I get so frustrated with myself and then it drags me down and I lose that confidence that there’s nothing God can’t help me through.
    But then you write stuff like what you wrote, and I realize I have to be patient with myself and take care of my heart and nourish my faith, and talk about stuff. And its okay if four years later the anniversary of all this comes around and I have to think about it. And its okay when someone looks at my family and says, “3 girls, eh?” And I say, “yep,” and my daughter says, “I have a brother in heaven. He’s 4 and his name is Sam.”
    Most days I’m just fine. You’ll be okay too.