Pete Wilson is the founding and senior pastor of Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee, a committed church community that he and his wife, Brandi, planted in 2003. Empty Promises is Pete’s much anticipated second book. Pete earned his Bachelors degree in Communications from Western Kentucky University and attended seminary at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY. He enjoys spending time with Brandi and their 3 boys, hunting, gardening and football.
Like most of you my typical day is usually a blur. Between work, chasing three boys around the house, investing in my marriage, building friendships and trying to stay healthy spiritually and physically, it’s hard to find time to just sit and think.
But I’ve also found that I often use those things as an excuse to not pay attention or examine my own heart.
But sometimes life forces you to pay attention or examine the internal questions you can no longer keep quiet. I had one of those moments recently. I was compelled to come face-to-face with what was lurking at the deepest level of my soul.
These were questions I could no longer ignore:
• Why do I continue to say yes to others, even though I’m overextended and hurting those closest to me?
• Why do I continue to struggle with showing my wife love on a more consistent basis, the way I should?
• Why are my emotions affected more by how many people show up at church than by just being in the presence of our caring God?
• Why do I continue to strive to find my identity in things like acceptance, power, and money instead of in who God says I am?
Each and every question that came to my mind revealed another level of self-deception in my life. It revealed another empty promise I was chasing after.
As I’ve been spending more and more time alone with God, trying to get to the bottom of the empty promises I’ve bought into, I’ve started praying, “God, help me to know me. Help me tear down the scaffolding of power, praise, perfectionism, and performance that I use to prop myself up. Strengthen me so I can bear to be naked and vulnerable in your presence, willing to see the areas of my life where Christ-likeness is so lacking.”
“Willing to see”—that’s crucial. Because most of us are experts at hiding from what we don’t want to know about our own lives.
When my middle son, Gage (on the left in the picture above), was just a toddler, he loved to play hide-and-seek. He especially loved the hiding part, so typically I would have to be “it.” After sticking my face in my hands and counting to twenty, I would search the house for him, announcing out loud each step I took and each place I looked. Whenever I found him hiding behind the couch or underneath the table, he would quickly close his eyes as tightly as he could, convinced that if he couldn’t see me, I wouldn’t be able to see him.
Often we play a similar game with God. In our adult version of hide-and-seek, we hide behind all kinds of noise and distractions. We get up in the morning and turn on the TV, hoping it will distract us from having to think. We’ll get in the car and immediately turn on the radio or jump on the phone. Our days will be full of surface level, meaningless conversations about the weather, styles, or the latest celebrity gossip.
We actually fool ourselves into thinking that if we don’t acknowledge the areas of our lives where we’ve bought into empty promises, maybe God won’t notice them either.
And while self-awareness can be painful, it can also be the beginning of transformation.
I’m praying my book “Empty Promises” will serve as sort of an invitation for you to look deeper into your own life. It’s an opportunity to wake up and look deep into your soul to uncover the layers upon layers of self-deception and the truth that lies beneath them.
Giveaway: Answer this question to enter to win one of two copies of Empty Promises.
Are you ever tempted to hide behind the noise and distractions in your life?
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You can find Pete on his Blog here, along with other Empty Promises Resources.
Purchase your copy here.
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Yes, it is tempting to hide behide the busyness of life!
Absolutely. I have had to evaluate a few times where my heart is, what my gift is, where God is calling me to be and what He wants me to do and who He wants me to love on.
Knowing your gifts is so key!!
If I hide behind pretending to be super serious about my school work people don’t notice as easily how far behind I am socially. I can pull it off since I’m getting decent grades so far, but it’s probably why I struggle to keep friends over the summer because I no longer have so much to hide behind and it starts becoming obvious that the real reason I’m quiet is because I don’t know how to interact.
Praying for you. I know that can be a difficult struggle.
Yes, I have to fight constantly the temptation to hide behind the distractions.
Most definitely. And since my husband is a pastor this can often look like hiding behind the busyness of church life.
I know first hand Steph how easy that is for pastors and their wives. Ironically it can make us appear more spiritual.
I’ve often said that if left unchecked church work can actually destroy the work of Christ in my life.
Definitely. I am often tempted to justify my failures by reminding myself of the good things I do for God, my family, and my community. Rather, I need to really seek God’s guidance and help to improve in the areas in which I struggle. I’m studying James in two different groups right now, and it’s certainly pulling at my heart and reminding me to live out what I believe.
Frequently…and over my life time have probably raised it to an art form!
At least if appears you want to be the best at everything you do! 🙂
Everyday…I think it’s time to dig up some weeds
Yep, all the time….daily life is so noisy that it’s easy to get to the end of the day without knowing what I’ve done, what I’ve accomplished, or what God was trying to tell me about myself and Him. I have to regularly schedule times of solitude so that I can write, think, dream and pray. Minds must be cleared of their cobwebs so that we can get to our hearts and see who we really are, and how He’s made us to be.
I cannot wait for this new book….
I love that line Beth… “Minds must be cleared of their cobwebs so that we can get to our hearts and see who we really are, and how He’s made us to be.”
Thanks, Pete!
Absolutely, I mostly hide behind noise, distractions and ways to busy my life to the point that I don’t have to slow down and evaluate what “ugly” I may have done or be doing.. Would love the opportunity to win this book, I’ve read about it on 2 different blogs and it seems AWESOME:0)
I look to the distractions when I know I should be looking to God. Why am I so afraid?
I don’t know if I hide on purpose or not- most of the time, I think it’s just a matter of skewed priorities for me. I would LOVE to read this book!
Oh yes. When I tried and tried to solve some issue with failure after failure I give up and just pretend the issue is not there. I hide because that is the only way I can get some peace in my life.
I guess I’m not the only one struggling with this issue of hiding behind all kinds of noises of life, chasing after empty promises. What a great challenge to examine ourselves together in this community!
Sometimes I hide from communicating with God directly in prayer by reading all kinds of blogs and devotions instead or listening to praise music. This makes me think I am listening to Him when I know He wants me to actually spend time with just Him.
Great point Melissa. I believe what we do WITH God is more important to Him than what we do FOR God.
YES!!! Your question of ” Why do I continue to strive to find my identity in things like acceptance, power, and money instead of in who God says I am?” struck a nerve in me this morning. Looking forward to reading your book.
I often hide behind the busyness of raising my children. Sometimes it’s easy to say “i can’t do this, or can’t be there” because of my young babies. And yet, I know God is in control and despite this season in my life, He still wants me to serve Him wholeheartedly. Thanks for these thoughts.
The comment you made in your post, asking God to help you know yourself really resonates. Am I tempted to hide? Absolutely! Sometimes I am not sure I want to know who I am, to see myself truely, and others times I really just long to be who God has called me to be.
It is a daily temptation for me!
This post spoke right to my heart. I’m certain the book would, too. Thank you for offering a giveaway!
I have been single (and lonely) for ten years. I find myself trying to find things to do to keep busy so I don’t have to face that fact. If I would just be still with God I might find that He fills my time. Pete, thanks for your words of enlightenment…I would love a copy of your book!
Have you read any of Nancy L. DeMoss’s writings. She is single and wrote a book about it and she has written one of my all time favorite/challenging books called “Choosing Gratitude”. You might want to check them out. I am impressed to pray for you today, Laura!
Thanks for your honesty Laura.
I find it so easy to hide behind doing things for others or staying busy so I don’t have to deal with emotions or issues. Can’t wait to read this book.
It is too easy to ‘tune out’ with emotions & our busyness! Your words hit home!
Latly I’ve been distracting myself with Facebook. I moved across the country away from my loved ones, so facebook has been a blessing in that it keeps me connected to the people I love, but it’s all a curse because too much of my time is spent staring at a screen.
I am so trying to train my heart to steer my life more toward auethenticity and away from the distractions.
My pastor says the devil has three main tricks up his sleves…
#1. to DEFEAT us (by preventing our salvation)
#2. and when he cannot DEFEAT us (when we are in Christ) … to DECIEVE us into THINKING he can DEFEAT us
#3. and when ALL ELSE FAILS…last but NOT LEAST…DISTRACT us from being proactive for the Kingdom of Heaven
That’s good Kaitlin. Really good.
We too often equate “busyness” with doing God’s will for our lives. In our minds, the busier we are doing God’s “business”, the deeper we are in His will. But we forget that He also tells us to “be still, and know that I am God”! Being “still” doesn’t mean sitting in front of the TV or FB… to me it means falling on my face before Him, bringing every thought captive, and waiting for Him to work.
Yes, sad to say, sometimes I have :/ Sometimes it’s like it can be a natural reaction (I guess you could say).
This really rang true to me as I start a week where I am already looking forward to the end of the week b/c I know I have 3 open weeks ahead of me – no events, no sports, just hanging out at the end of the work day. I think I’ll take your book on vacation with me and take a vacation from social media as well to just be present & relax!
Sounds like a good idea to me Sheila. Enjoy your time away.
Yes I do. It’s easier to hide than it is to face reality sometimes. But then again life has a way of slapping you awake forcing you to take a long hard look at your relationship with God. At least it does for me. It’s like a vicious cycle. I need to break that cycle and concentrate more on my relationship wtih our Heavenly Father.
Constantly! I was a Biblical and Theological Studies major in college, I *adored* studying God’s Word. Guess what I almost never make time for anymore unless I’m in a group study? ^_^;;
I was convicted last night that I have abandoned the truest joy I have ever experienced because I’m “busy”… I’m hoping that SheReadsTruth will be the kick in the pants I need, praying that God convicts me of my pride daily when I put other things as more important.
When I feel that I can’t face a problem in life, I tend to hide behind life’s distractions instead of facing the problem. This only gets my mind off of the problem for a time, it doesn’t make the problem disappear. Sometimes though, I just can’t face it and don’t know what else to do. Life can be overwhelming at times but I have to remember never to give up hope! I would love to read your book and hear your insight and learn from it! Be blessed!
Absolutely. I am currently trying to create some space so that I can give myself time to hear God. I am so busy doing things for others and “ministry”. I know God wants my heart and yet my legalistic background continues to offer Him works. Thankful for His grace as He continues to teach me this lesson!
I’ve battled with that form of legalism my whole life. His grace is more than sufficient. Saying a quick prayer for you Laurie.
What I have come to know is that it’s not always so obvious when I am hiding. That requires some deep soul searching and I have been challenged to pray the statement you made “God, help me to know me”.
I am constantly doing this. Even the “good” things have distracted me from the “best”. I just recently started discipling 7 women, that God brought to me. I tend to get so concerned with preparing for those ladies, I don’t prepare myself for Him, who called me. I would love to read this book, and would also be interested in the first book he wrote. What is its title? Thanks for the giveaway!
Lately we have been busy with a home renovation project. I had to pause things to have a major surgery and recovery time. It has given me time to reflect on what I really need to “purge ” from my life and have more time for God and His plan for my life. Nothing like slowing down to see what gets in the way and where you need to clean house.
Thanks for your ministry and sharing your encouraging words.
We so often do this in church…we hide behind meaningless conversation to avoid being transparent and vulnerable…which steals the opportunity to let our family care for us through prayer which produces healing.
I think the scariest thing for me…the most terrifying thing is known that when I close my eyes and pretend I cannot be found by Him that sometimes my heart believes it to be true. I love this prayer and it reminds me of the Shaun Groves song “Awake my Soul”. I need to have the courage, the faith enough to ask God to open my eyes…I open them and to keep them open so that real change is made.
This is an area of weakness for me. As I get busier serving others in my youth group, I let it become a false sense of security that I am closer to God. In reality, I slow down on my quiet times and just get caught up in the activity and cares/concerns of those around me. Then I get tired. I’ve served in youth groups for going on 11 years and am afraid to stop and ask God if that is where He still wants me or am I just living in my comfort zone. I know if I stop to listen to Him, I may not like what I hear, so I just keep on doing things my way. Sad, but true.
Reflection and self-awareness are scary…but necessary for growth to take place. Thanks for the nudge today.
I tend to spend more time on my computer (taking care of e-mail, etc.) instead of taking the time to bring myself closer to God by reading the “good stuff”. It’s easy to hide behind doing stuff on the computer because ‘if I don’t take care of the stuff now, my inbox will be overflowing’.
Absolutely. After years of overextending myself with “worthy” pursuits I’ve had to become much more intentional about what I take on, because if I don’t I will wake up one day totally burnt out. The internet and social media can be such great resources, but they are also a 24/7 clamoring cycle of distractions. If you don’t quiet those voices every now and then it can be hard to hear the “still, small voice” of God over top.
I’m not just tempted to hide, Pete, I struggle almost daily to not hide behind busyness, noise, and distractions!! I made myself turn the radio off this morning on the way in to the office, and it was HARD. Though I have learned from past experience that life is so much better when I stop and think, or just BE STILL and be with God. I have to depend on Him and ask the Spirit’s help, otherwise it won’t happen!
I find it difficult to come to terms with myself over the reality that I often try to hide behind my need to have the answers to every question or the solution to every problem. My personality really wants everyone to love me and, to be totally honest, that one issue is the thing that I need to stop hiding behind the most. Thanks for being courageous enough to allow Him to uncover the depths of your heart because He is using it to continue working in mine.
Oh, absolutely, I can hide behind the “busyness” of life when I don’t want to deal with an issue.
I am very tempted to hide behind the noise and distractions in my life. Perfectionism and procrastination tend to be two huge distractions in my life that I must battle against daily. God calls us to come to Him, shortcomings an all. He LOVES us. That’s one decision we must never procrastinate over!
I’ve been hiding for years, it’s so much easier than facing yourself and admitting your inadequacies for not doing what you know you should be doing. However because of a shift in the leadership at my church I have been motvated to make the necessary changes in my life and do my full part in being useful to the kingdom of God. No more procrastinating!
I do that all the time. Even when I seek quiet time, it’s sometimes difficult because my husband wants the television on, or my daughter wants me to play with her.
Your questions were quite thought provoking. I struggle with the last one —
“Why do I continue to strive to find my identity in things like acceptance, power, and money instead of in who God says I am?” Why don’t I realize who I truly am a child of the Almighty king!
I consistently hide behind noise and distractions in life. When I get up & listen to the Bible I’m doing several other things as well, then exercise to music–hop into car turn on radio–mostly Christian music–get to work turn on Christian radio. I find it hard to sit still & know that He is God & just let Him work in my life!
Thank you for such thought provoking post!
Oh gosh, constantly. I am always trying to fill my day up with meaningless distractions to avoid myself and God. What am I so afraid of?
If I’m really honest with myself, I hide behind the distractions of loneliness and both physical and emotional pain. It’s so easy to justify being disconnected when you have “valid excuses.”
Trying to learn not to hide behind the children, but to seek and do God’s will for me too.
Definitely struggle with this. I have a lot of old hurts from childhood/teen years that I haven’t completely dealt with because I often don’t feel strong enough. But it’s in those quiet times that those feelings crash over me like a wave. I know God wants to work in me regarding those, I’m just terrified I won’t be strong enough to do it. So instead I busy myself. Also, I am readin She Reads Truth’s devotional and a few days ago the scripture was Romans 12:3 talking about not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought. I’d always taken it as putting others first always. But the devotional that day brought new light to it. It talked about how thinking of ourselves to the extent that we make sure we are healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is not a bad thing since we can’t pour out into others if we have nothing to pour out. This really spoke to me because I felt like God was telling me that it’s important to Him that I be healthy in all ways so that I can do His work to my full potential. So that is challenging me to spend more time learning about me and asking God to work on me.
I do this quite often. It’s easier to push down the yucky parts of my heart & mind so that I don’t have to deal with them. My spirit longs to deal with them. I hear God telling me to acknowledge them and allow Him to heal me, but it’s just so much easier to push them down and ignore them.
Wow. I think I may need to get my hands on this book…
Yes, I think we do think sometimes God doesn’t see or He excuses.I am stuggling still with overeating. And you think, well, it is only food, not some other sin. God wants all of us and for us to give all to Him. Help me Lord, once and for all to be done with this! Amen and Amen
Hiding from God through distractions like the Internet has been a conviction on my heart for awhile now. It is so easy to escape into the lives of others on Facebook, blogs, etc. instead of having to deal with your own junk.
Yeah… I have two baby girls (18 mo and 6wk) so between them, my husband, and the messes everyone makes, I figure I shouldn’t be forced to face anything I don’t want to for YEARS. 🙂
I think it is very difficult not to hide behind the busy-ness and distractions of life. Especially, in light of the advanced technology available at the push of a button. We are easily pulled away from Him instead of closer to him. We look for a shortcut to Him when none exists. It takes determination, willpower and remembering that prayer & reading the bible are paramount.
This is a much needed post for me to read. I seem to have fallen into that same category of “quantifying”…I don’t like that I am a counter! If my numbers are high, well then I think I’m well received….If my numbers are low…then I think I am insignificant. I have handled the media distractions of tv and radio…but that new media (facebook and blogging)…Oh boy, that’s where I stumble!
It is so much easier to just stay busy and ignore what is being told because it is so scary.
YES! I have difficulty staying still. Being with God. Resting in His promises. And extending His love to others throughout my day.
Definitely! I don’t know why I resist something that should be so special…..spending time alone with God. I think it is because I am afraid I won’t hear him.
This is me. I’m sensing God is wanting to say something about me and my hearts condition, but I’m kinda stuck as to how I hear him other than the obvious? It’s weird. I’m hearing a lot of different things but I just want the truth from the truth so I know I’m walking in the truth.
Sometimes it is just so difficult to be honest with myself about how I feel and what is really going on. I had never thought about it as believing empty promises but believe this is something I need to be praying about.
I spent the majority of my life hiding. Good grades, involved in everything…even after I was married, I hid behind the busyness of looking perfect to camouflage my inadequacies. A medical mission trip showed me so much Truth…I found God in such a tangible way…
3 years and a divorce later, I still find myself fighting up against the busyness and emptiness of so-called perfection. However, with the help and love of my best friend, I’ve learned to just be who and what He created me to be. I’ve learned I am enough. Hoping to finally banish the Empty from my soul…
Oh yes many times… if hid behind shopping or crafting sometimes… when I feel so alone and I want to find satisfaction in things….
This post just spoke directly to my heart. Two weeks ago I decided that I was going to start getting up early, so I could spend time with the Lord, and then exercise before work. I know I need to take care of myself, before I can care for the others in my life. I’ve been emotionally eating to try to calm my heart, but I know that what I am really feeling is such a craving in my heart for God’s touch, His word, a true communion with Him! I know that I need to nurture that, so I can actually live in God’s strength, and not fill myself with substitutes. But something within me is desparately fighting against being quiet with God. I have found myself “stuck” online till the wee hours of the morning, and too tired in the morning to even consider getting up early to focus on God.
I want to pray through it, so God can change me. I long to have courage and determination to press into that place in my heart. The part that’s aching. The part that needs my Savior the most.
I thought, “no way,” and therein lies the truth–Absolutely. The real muck isn’t what I want to talk with Him about. And just this morning that was revealed as I confessed to Him what He already knows. I’ve not wanted to *go there* in my talks with Him and gently He led me to admit my hiding. I’m so glad He’s so gentle.
Absolutely!
Sounds like a great book
You mean my to do list is actually supposed to be checked off… rather than grow so I can use it as an excuse not to be real? I totally identify!
Yes, in the endless stream of news, blogs, music, Facebook updates, magazines, etc. we are absorbing so much information – the challenge is to live counter-culturally and die to our whims by living out the gospel and learning what that really means as we seek to look a little more like Jesus each day, even in our brokenness!
Sure! I think it’s awareness and the ease of not having to work to be aware or address things … but just to go from one thing to the next to get through the days.
Definitely! It is so easy to hide, especially, when the distractions are “good activities”. Even more so knowing that if I slow down and exam my life and my walk with God it may be painful as well as rewarding. That fear of conviction and needed change sometimes overshadows the rewards of joy and peace that I know comes from just being with God and becoming the person He has for me to be.
I tend to hide behind other people’s distractions, or so I think. I feel like others around me are really busy, so they probably don’t have time to be in relationship with me. In reality, I’m scared to ask others to grow in our friendship because of hurt or being shut down. I have found that others are wanting to be in relationship also, but I’m always overwhelmed with the lies Satan is telling me that I don’t pursue those relationships.
Tempted? yes! As I look back on my life, it seems it quite possibly is one of my greatest temptations. Body image, exercise, degrees, career… I just recently “gave up” my career and although in some ways it has been messy (it was my greatest distraction/security blanket), it’s also been a sweet time for God and I. Removing that distraction (career) has made the lines of communication with God and I more clear since truly it was standing in the way. But the battle isn’t over…I know there will be other things and still are things I need to see as distractions…
yes! It’s easier than “dealing” sometimes and as different issues come up at our church. I take things so personally and don’t seek favor in Jesus enough.
Yes, especially because they appear to all be good things – ARE good things. Just maybe not great.
Yes! Stillness and quiet seem to be the antithesis of what our lives require!
I’m learning the older (& possibly wiser-ha) I get that the less I “hide” in the busyness of the day and the more I actively seek quiet moments to turn the quiet up – the more centered and whole I’m made to feel.
We have to beware of the ways in which our lives become permeated with all the “hiding places” this world so richly affords!!
I’m actually dealing with this right now. The Lord doesn’t want me to hide from my life any more, and honestly it’s, to put it lightly… difficult. It’s been a year and I still feel the desire to escape what I’m feeling and get lost in a story, or a movie, veg in front of the tv until I’m so numb I fall into bed.
Being forced to face my innerself hasn’t been pretty, but the lessons I’m learning are to be thankful for what I have and to see the joy in life instead of avoiding it. Things are still hard, but I’m learning to lean on God, I’m filling my heart with his Word, and staying positive has been helping me through it.
Yes, but I just don’t want to miss out on anything or be forgotten about.
I am presently reading this book. I recommend everyone read it. He hits the nail on the head chapter after chapter. We think: If I just had (one more thing, the right person, a newer car, house, etc,) then I would be happy. Oh how this book is speaking to me. I Just hope and pray I can get my husband to read it. He really needs to read what is between the covers in this book.
It is on my wish list, so I can have my own copy to put stars by my favorite passages. At this point in my life I am using interlibary loan for all the books read due to our family being in a financial crisis. So thankful for my library!
Yes, it’s more than tempting, especially when life is not going as planned. Rather than stop and ask the hard questions, and pray and ask God, “What is your will in this circumstance?” it’s much easier to go through the motions of busyness. That way I deceive myself into thinking that I’m DOING something, rather than just being still and listening to God in order to hear the still small voice whispering to me, “This is the way, walk ye in it.”