About the Author

Jessica Turner is the author of Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter and Thrive, and blogs on The Mom Creative. Every day is a juggling act as she balances working full-time, making memories with her family, photographing the every day and trying to be...

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  1. Jess!

    Thank you for all your calls and encouragement — but breaking bread with you in person? Is pure grace. *Thank you*

    You mentor me in how to be a better friend — you know I’ll never be able to thank you enough, Jess…

    • Thank you for this, Ann. Your encouragement, your friendship, YOU are a gift. I wish we could break bread monthly! But, all is grace for the moments we do get to share together.

  2. There is nothing like a move to make you appreciate friendships. After moving away from a place we’d lived for 25 years, and then being in a new town with zero friends, I can vouch for the value of building relationships because I will always remember once we found a church and started getting to know people, the day that meant so much to me was when someone in our new town, new church – invited me to have lunch with them! I was ecstatic! That first lunch invite was the moment I truly felt at home in our new home.

  3. Wow. Before I read this post, I just messaged a few of my friends I hadn’t seen for a while to see if we could catch up. I’d love it if I could be in-touch with friends once a month, but they have busy lives and it doesn’t always work out that way.

  4. I’m so glad you are making friends a priority. And congrats on your baby. πŸ™‚

    My passivity in friendships wasn’t working. So I’m just recently back to seeing my face to face friends. A weekly meeting with a couple writing friends for accountability and inspiration, and a summer Bible study with another.

    What a gift friends are.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  5. I just did that this week. Met a friend for two hours over coffee and we both decided it needed to be a weekly lunch date. We were both lonely and isolated and left feeling filled up again, looking forward to next week. Thanks for the encouragement.

  6. I don’t have anyone I can call and do this with, unless I bring my 18month old daugther and my 8 1/2 year old son. I would love that. Too many days I am alone with them with no adult conversation, which I really need. My husband is away as an airline pilot more than he his home and it’s just really hard. Some days I feel like I have completely lost myself.

    • We Sherry, may I respond (or is only the author allowed)? I had a houseful of preschoolers and early school age children for many years and parents and grandparents did not accept my invitation to drop by for coffee Nytime while their kids did but as an opportunity to shop, clean, nap, go out with friends for coffee or to a casino! I know how you feel bc little people are fun but one can feel quite isolated some days in a weird way. I look back on my memorie and those children with great fondness but remember with relief the girlfriend I made in my son’s first school who I was able to share play dates with and watch one another’s kids so we.could go out on dates with our husbands. She (Naomi) is SO SPECIAL, an amazing person an amazing woman! You need to get proactive in finding yourself a friend like that. We’d take our kids to one another’s homes, to Fort Whyte nature center, the zoo, Oak Hammock marsh … I will pray for you to find your Naomi!

    • I too want to encourage you to get creative. Perhaps meeting with another friend for a picnic at the park? Or at the library? Or inviting a friend into your home? I’m praying you find a way to make it work and spend quality time with a friend. Blessings to you!

  7. I have a friend who always says we’ll do lunch or coffee or the garden center on Thursday or Friday then does it with the people she really wants to be friends with. I think she is just stringing me along so I’ll watch her kids and walk her dog. Still (this sounds funny to say after what I just commented) she and her husband are two of the nicest people! Maybe need and time constraints limit people’s ability to form real friendships, not just conveniences. I know I have been there and done this before; take care of my own stuff (alone) and take care of others, even dealing with the grief of their anger when I could not (do/be what they want me to be). Thus I have hardened(?)/gaurded my heart to where I’ve put me first to the point of seeing my health and tiredness improve and my migraines nearly dissapears! And there are family with poverty, real or in spirit taking out their diss appointments or anger on us, both my husband and I. Pulling back completely feels selfish but I think it is important to return from this space viewing it as ‘sabbatical’, that is a time to mature and prepare oneself to better understand and cope with the disappointments in life. I have had true friends to help me to do this by just being respectful and kind in a world sometimes unkind. May we pray for those friends for blessings and that those bitter or hurting will seek their strength in God and not in hurting others. May we use this beautiful article today to consider who we are in Christ and seek his strength in all things. God bless.

    • Yes, I find that I am healthier all around when I make time for sabbath rest and community. (Check out the book Sabbath, which we read in Bloom a while back). I whispered prayers for you this morning, that friendship and quality time would flourish in your life. Peace.

  8. What is a lunch break? LOL. Not something that really happens in my job. One friend and I keep trying to schedule breakfast but stuff keeps coming up. Oh well.

  9. I have just read your article and agree that time with friends is so important. For the last 5 years I have organized lunch with school friends whom I started school with in 1953. For some years we lost touch with a friend, who was wheelchair bound but we caught up with her 5 years ago. We had lunch every 5-6 weeks and always somewhere close to where she lived and could come in her mototirsed wheelchair. On May 15th we met for lunch and I took a picture of us, she died from cancer complications of June 3rd. How blest I am to have that picture. Don’t put it off DO IT NOW you never know if this will be the last time. God thank you for the times I was able to share with my friend Nicky

  10. Jess, you have given me something to really think about. With four littles 2,4,6,8 and homeschooling, managing the house while dads away working long hours… I had resigned myself to thinking this just isn’t my stage for friends. Sounds sad as I write this but truthfully I often have *nothing* to give. I will prayerfully consider your words and want to say thank YOU for the encouragement. What a wonderful ministry this is for me. Keep writing πŸ™‚

  11. I so need to do more of this. I usually spend my lunch hour doing “stuff” that I don’t have time for the rest of the day. Note to self – be more intentional in face-to-face time with friends! Thanks for the “nudge”! πŸ™‚

  12. We moved from TX (our home of 17 years!) to TN last year. It has been an amazing, God-filled journey, but the one area that is still a challenge is friendships. I’ve met amazing women, and I am very proactive about reaching out, getting together, serving them and church in any way I can…but have yet to really form deep community with anyone. I know these things take time, and that God will bring who needs to be in my life for whatever season…just wondering what you would suggest to someone who IS doing the above, but having a hard time finding “in real life” soul sisters πŸ™‚

  13. SO important. No matter how busy, tired or stressed I am, I try to make time to ‘be’ with friends. Being present is so huge.

  14. I don’t do this as often as I should, but I am always amazed by how refreshed I feel when I leave. And I have to get creative — most of my friends have kids, and I don’t, so we plan dates at places where the kids can plan and on dates that work with our work schedules! The park for a picnic is always fun, or sometimes daddies get time with their kids while the mama/mama’s friends meet up.

    Thanks for the reminder — I just messaged a friend who I haven’t had some friend time with in a while. πŸ™‚

  15. So true! I have a group of mom friends and while we get to see each other at playdates with our children, I actually enjoy getting together with them just us girls more. We are actually able to breathe and focus on each other and conversation instead of chasing after our children. Thanks for sharing!