Sarah Mae
About the Author

Sarah Mae has a past that would be her present if it weren’t for Jesus. A blogger, author, and co-author of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, she’s currently writing The Complicated Heart, a book for broken-hearted lovers of Jesus. Learn more at @thecomplicatedheart on Instagram or...

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
Recent Posts

Reader Interactions


  1. It’s good that you are wrestling and asking these questions. We all need to. It is very easy to let ourselves believe that our dreams are God’s dreams, for RIGHT NOW. But often, dreams are just that…dreams. Perhaps to become a reality at another time or perhaps to remain a dream. Satan would love nothing more than to pull a mama away from her babes. But remember, He is crafty and he will disguise himself in light, in the seemingly good. Saturate yourself in the Word, seek Godly counsel, and always go back to what you KNOW to be true about the rol e of a mother.

  2. Sarah Mae,

    You know when you start reading an in(post) and you try to guess the author before you get to the end? (or do you not subconsciously ever do this? 🙂 ) I wouldn’t have guessed this was written by you…. It’s interesting to hear how you’re wrestling, trying to seek Jesus in the midst of open doors and opportunity.

    Your vulnerability is attractive and I hear your heart in this. Loudly :).

    Oh, and it’s funny, but I *understood* God-sized dreams so much better 15 years ago; now, a little older (wiser???), they’re more of an enigma than a surety. But I do believe God places within us desires…all the more when our own interests don’t crowd out his best.

    Wonderful post, friend. Thought provoking.

    • I always try and figure out the author first! Haha!

      Thanks for your encouragement Robin. I know God has given me skill sets and I love when I’m using them, but it’s a fight to hold onto the small.

  3. Hi Sarah,

    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us. Reading your article has helped me to put things into perspective. I am a busy mom and an even more busier working woman who is juggling alot on her plate now. And in the past I have often wondered whether my dreams have been sacrificed to accommodate my family and children. But not any more- thank you.
    One thing I have realized while following God’s dreams for my life is that the Holy Spirit would wonderfully weave every part of me including my husband and children. God’s dreams are not exclusive of any part of me- instead these would bring all of me together in perfect symphony!!

      • I love this idea too.
        No doubt, you are on the right track; giving time to your family is also a part of God-sized dream for you. It may not show itself obviously now, but it surely contributes to the perfect symphony of your life!
        Meaningful relationship with your family is the star of the symphony, and God is gradually adding the other parts of His dream for you to beautify your life symphony even more.
        best wishes from Thailand

      • Thank you…your writing is touching lives across the continents…
        Prayers and love from Mumbai-India

  4. Hi Sarah Mae,

    I’m not trying to be the answer to your question. This is something to consider. I happened to read this a few weeks ago. A mom’s first responsibility is to her children/husband . But she is also responsible for her own spirituality and the gifts she has. A friend of mine just left 2 children and husband to go to Haiti for a few days, less than a week. Her heart is missions but her children are also her heart.

    Anyway, that’s a summary of what I read and my friend’s story. I have no children so I don’t have this question to wrestle with. I may not empathize but I have sympathy.

    • I think is very close to where I’m at right now, my priorities are my husband and family, and the home sphere, but then use the gifts I have where God has given me a platform.

  5. I ponder these questions a lot myself. I am always conflicted when I hear about ‘dreams’ because I do think that sometimes our will is different from God’s. I know that has been the case in my life. I have dreams that I know need to wait until my kids are grown. But I also have felt strongly that God gives us talents and passions, too and I’ve sometimes felt to use mine along the way, ‘on the side’ as it were.

    My thought is that in the end, if He is the one commanding us to put Him and family as priorities, and He is also the giver of good gifts and talents, then only He can be the one to guide us about how to balance all of this. Sometimes, it’s a times and seasons kind of thing…sometimes we sacrifice some of our dreams for a time, or keep only a toe in the door of those dreams while we focus on family. Sometimes we may feel inspired about ways to do them in parallel. But ultimately, I think it’s essential to trust God to guide us and to remember that we are accountable to Him for how we spend our time.

    I think, too, that for those of us who are wired to be driven, asking these kinds of questions is important to do fairly regularly. At least I do. I don’t work, but I have a lot of interests and passions, and have always felt a desire to keep my MBA-trained self alive, but I can be easily distracted with ‘projects’ of all shapes and sizes. I am grateful to hear other women talk about the wrestle and keep the questions present in my heart.

  6. Thank you for this much needed reflection. I am also struggling with submitting my dreams and needed this bit of encouragement.

  7. Sarah Mae,
    I appreciate your honesty. I wish I knew the answer. I too am struggling with the meaning if this and the only thing I can come up with right now is just to pray like mad for direction and to listen, really listen for Gods answer.

  8. I’ve even struggled to identify my dreams. I think I can see a glimmer of them now which is so much more than I’ve seen in the past. I wouldn’t allow myself to dream. Dreams did not come true.

    I do have a few now and they are not that far away but still out of reach. I’m not sure how to respond to your questions but I will just keep praying for God to show me my dreams that are hidden inside of me and I will pray that I can keep giving him control to guide me there.

  9. I agree with this, “if they are His dreams for us, than we have no need to rush or push to try to make them happen.” I think I get into trouble when I try to rush these dreams, I take them out of God’s hand and try to make them happen. Then I end up disappointed or frustrated. As a mom, I don’t think God ever calls us to put our dreams ahead of our kids and our families. I need to trust that God will make room and make time for me to follow these dreams, if I am willing to proceed at His speed.

  10. Sarah Mae, I hear your heart and appreciate your honesty. I am currently struggling with the same thing.

    I believe the key is to submit to God’s will and trust that He knows what is best for us and our families. That’s not always easy – it’s a stretching that requires so much faith.

    Bless you,


  11. The only answer I know is discernment. We know our dreams must line up with His mission (whether to encourage or to enlighten the gospel, both of which are important). Perhaps the key is to recognize our own limits and trust that God can (and will) faithfully work within them when we trust Him.

  12. God-sized dreams aren’t about size…they’re perfectly formed by God to fit your heart and your season of life. And the ultimate dream isn’t a what. It’s a Who. God is the ultimate God-sized dream and what we’re really chasing, always, is more of Him. The rest are just paths He uses to bring us closer. Mysterious? Yep, I think He makes it that way on purpose to keep us seeking. 🙂

  13. This is EXACTLY my current struggle. I dream of writing and speaking but why? I already take a lot of time away from my family. So many people dream of having a Godly husband and a house full of children. I have that. Is this the dream God would have me embrace? I am given the opportunity to speak and write in my immediate circle of friends. Could this be the dream God wants me to embrace? I’m not letting go of my dream to write or to speak. That may be in my future. I just don’t want to overstep God’s dreams for me by keeping my head to high into the clouds.

    • Maybe for now keep cultivating life so that you have something really special to speak and write on. That’s my mentor says, we need the women who do the hard work now of raising children, living where you’re at, etc. – they will be the women who have something to say later.

  14. God gives us dreams, but sometimes we take our own dreams, or other people’s dreams for our lives, and run after them instead of God’s dreams for our lives. God gave me a vision of this once. I was holding so tightly to dreams that weren’t from Him.
    It’s a beautiful thing to surrender the dreams to Him and wait for Him to give back to you only the ones that are His dreams for your life. And His dreams were much wilder than mine!

  15. I love this, today, Sarah Mae! Thank you — your writing in the last few weeks has really touched my heart strings — they are speaking directly to me! I want to experience joy in this time, right here, right now, loving my sweet babes and giving my husband and children what they need — a calm, patient, loving haven to come home to. I am struggling with this every day and I need to slow and know that right now, in this season, I must slow and give this to my family.

  16. I’ve wrestled with that exact thing friend (Your Dream, God’s Plan 🙂 I don’t think our dreams for us are always God’s dreams for us. It’s in the laying down of our dreams that we can find true fulfillment and begin to reach for are true life’s plan.

  17. God’s dreams for us are His best! I’ve struggled with this over the years too. I used to think I should be doing something big for God. But often it’s in the quiet ways like …praying. Prayer warriors are mighty in God’s Kingdom.

    I thought my dream was to be a public speaker and write books. I’m now working in a private school teaching Pre-K 3 children and …loving it. My audience is much younger than I could ever have predicted. 🙂

  18. Hi Sarah Mae,
    As with anything the greatest key, I have found, is seeking God first. Putting Him first orders the rest of your life. You can seek happy kids first and that orders your life,or seek your dreams first and that orders your life. But when He is first He is so faithful to guide and convict and show us the plan and path for our life. The most amazing thing to me is that He also gives us the strength and patience to see the dreams He has given us through in His perfect timing.
    As a young 30 (something) mom myself sometimes I wonder how to balance what He has already given into my care as well being faithful with the dreams He has placed in my heart. I am learning though that I can rest in Him. He does the work to fulfill those dreams I just seek Him first and obey what He tells me to do and then I’m good.
    We also have to remember that life has many seasons. It’s hard sometimes (for me) to see past the one I’m in right now. Our dreams may actually be fulfilled in a different season but the seed is there now to get us started growing in the right direction.
    I’ll be praying for you as I wrestle with my own questions about the dreams in my heart. Blessings, Kristin

  19. Sara Mae,

    I understand! I used to be an Air Force officer, a business consultant making six-figures before I surrendered completely and the Lord told me those were my dreams and I was investing in my ‘big dreams’ and not in His kingdom–i was building my own kingdom.

    That was 3 years ago and it’s still hard for me because I’m a ‘go-getter’ dreamer entrepreneur…being still does not come easy for me. I am stepping down from a Church ministry again to draw back and ‘send the crowds away’ to be alone with the Father–I can not forget why I’m here. For Him and right now He’s made it perfectly clear where my priorities need to be…with my husband and children. He keeps telling me I can’t teach what I don’t know–to my children, to other women. I can encourage my fellow mommies in the trenches now but later there will be more to share after I have been in the trenches longer (reminds me of my military deployment days). I have already been praying for you because I see…it’s easy for me to see because I’ve been there. However, you have great discernment and I am so thankful your heart is with Him. May He continue to fill up your heart with Him.

    I have written about such ‘pulls’ and wanted to share to show you I understand and I do know how to pray for you. Praying Psalm 131

  20. I’ve been thinking, studying and PRAYING about this question for years…and wrote about it in my book “Dream Big: 30 Days to a Life Beyond All You could Ask or Imagine”. I agree that “big” by our definition is SO different than “BIG” by God’s definition. He says “whoever wants to be the greatest should be the least” and that He himself did “not come to be served, but to serve”. However I do believe that God’s plans for us are good, to prosper us and not to harm us. And that he will do MORE than all we could ask, dream or imagine. However, it might not always look how we expect it will…

  21. These are the most important questions to ponder, so while I don’t have much advice for you (I think Holley said it best above!), I just want to encourage you to keep seeking, keep asking, and keep allowing the Holy Spirit to show you where He wants you to go. He did that for me in a BIG way last year, and I’m still amazed by it. It might not be where you think you’re headed, but it’s always God’s best and in the right season. Just listen.

  22. Thanks for your willingness to share this very true stuggle.
    There are some wise replies here….Michelle and Kristin….yes.
    The wise woman turns to God with her questions of balance during
    any season. And reading God’s Word allows us to submit and let
    His will become our will….and our minds to become like the mind of Christ.
    We all have responsibilities, dreams and a sovereign God who knows us
    intimately and loves us! Amen.

  23. great post…I am fairly new to the blog world…I find it a very interesting place. I am an older woman…my perspective is pretty different. Sometimes my heart aches because I see woman who seem to be losing the struggle…letting the “dream” push them. I love your challenge here. And really when it is all said and done… the relationship we have with our husband….our children will be the most kingdom impacting. A healthy family, one reflecting God’s love is what the world needs to see. Sometimes we lose sight of that…it doesn’t get the attention…the pats on the back…and it is years before we can see fruit of our labor…we can’t grow weary becasue it is in due season. I love your heart…blessings to you…

  24. I think sometimes I get caught up in a ‘dream’, when it is really just a cry for validation, acknowledgement, I start to feel like the world can’t go on without me sharing my gifts to the world – ridiculous I know. But the more the world gets my gifts, the less my husband and children get. A good barometer of how much you can give outside the family is a heart-to-heart with your husband. Mine is pretty good about holding me accountable to what is truly important.

  25. In 2007 God completely turned my life around. For my entire life I had been nurturing a “dream” to be a surgeon. I was all set to get my degree and get to work on the medical field. I was excited about the financial stability it would offer and the satisfaction I would receive when I successfully helped someone. However, as I was sitting on a bus in the beautiful countryside of Brazil God changed everything. My heart broke and spirit came alive as God opened my soul and allowed me to see the lost through His eyes. At that moment I knew that God was calling me to abandon my own plans… He was calling me to full time ministry.

    It hurt. I’m not going to lie. I knew that life, as a missionary would mean very little financial stability. It would mean many hours of emotional and spiritual battles. I knew some members of my family would shun me and I would lose some very close friends, but I couldn’t ignore God’s dream for my life.

    Now as I sit here many years later I am amazed at different my life has become. My husband and I are finalizing some details to get us onto the mission field full time. I am expecting my first child and I could not be more content or pleased with the direction my life is going!

    I think that many of us mistake our human plans for dreams. We pursue this high goal for our lives and plan everything else around it. However, I think the truth is, only when we accept God’s plan for our lives does it become a dream. I know for a fact that this dream God has placed in my life is so much more fulfilling than any plan I could conjure up would be!

  26. I am currently struggling with this as well. I ‘d been pondering the very question of how tightly do you hold on to your dreams. Should you hold on and never let them go, no matter what? Or do you hold on loosely, allowing room for change and growth? Through your post, God let me know that I can hold on to them, but not so tightly. I need to lighten up on the reins, allow some slack, and trust in him and his timing. Thanks for being his vessel and providing encouragement.

  27. I struggle with the same question daily. I’m a single mom, full-time worker, finishing up a master’s degree and studying for the CPA exam. The guilt I feel when studying can be heartbreaking at times and I often spend several nights a week up until the wee hours of the morning doing homework so that I can spend my daughter’s waking moments with her. However, in a way, this also takes away from her as I’m not always 100% after studying all night. It is hard to find the balance and trying at times to want to have it all but wonder if I’m really supposed to.

    • Elizabeth,
      My husband and I are in a similar situation. We both have full time jobs, are full time students, and are expecting our first child. She will be here in just a few weeks. My husband and I felt so pressured by my family to continue on in our schooling (Even though we plan on being full time missionaries). However, after months of praying and seeking God’s will, we came to the conclusion that our time together as a couple and my time with my daughter was more important than a stupid piece of paper. We will be graduating after we finish one more class. Although we will only be getting an Associates Degree we feel more accomplished now than any amount of schooling could do for us!

      If you feel like God is leading you to step away from school then don’t be afraid. Our society tries to guilt us into thinking that the only way to be successful is if you get a degree, but that is not true! Being a woman of God and raising godly children is a much better accomplishment! Thinking of you!

  28. great post…I am fairly new to the blog world and I find it a very interesting place. I am an older woman so I have a different perspective. Sometimes my heart aches because I see woman who seem to be losing the struggle….letting the “dream” drive them. I don’t have the answers…but what I do know….when you are where I am in life…relationship with our children and husband is the most important thing. A family that loves each other well…one that reflects God’s love to the world…I believe one of the most impacting ways to bring the kingdom here. The hard part is it takes years…of planting seeds in the dark…and years before the fruit is seen. “don’t grow weary in doing good….in due season. The choices we make now…seeds planted now will bear fruit…but sometimes when the fruit comes forth…it’s not what we hoped for. Motherhood doesn’t get the pats on the back…words of affirmation….it’s rewards are not immediate. How to find the line…oh for Grace. I love your heart here… challenging for others. blessings to you~

    • Thank you so much for your thoughts-I always want to hear from women who have gone before me. I appreciate your wisdom so very much!

  29. Im struggling with dreams right now. The update came in my email and is so very timely. I’ve loved reading the post and all the encouraging comments. My dream right now is completely out of my control. It’s hard to explain in a few words but it’s all about my kids ranging in age from 15-25. I’ve come across so much scripture lately and encouraging words from this blog, and from some friends that I know it’ll all turn out for God’s best. I just want Him to hurry! Lol! He’s teaching me patience and trust. Thank you!

  30. I love this. I wrestle with this all the time. I’ve taught workshops on finding your passion, your dream, what God has shaped you to do, and some women in the class look at me like I’ve got three heads…and I get to wondering, am I pushing women too far? Am I really only teaching them to be discontent where they are?

    Our dream is our day right in front of us. Step by step, moment by moment, walking with Him. And He’ll show us the next step and the next, as long as we’re by His side.

  31. Great post. Our pastor taught us if our dreams cause us to neglect God, our families or priorities stated in the Bible they are selfish motives. For example, I dream of being a women’s Bible study teacher. At this point in my life I am a Sunday School teacher to our youth because I can help them and also be involved with our daughters. I am enjoying where I am at. God is using the desire in my heart to help others while I am still able to make our family a priority while our five daughters are growing up.

  32. I too think that following God-sized dreams can be just another way to “do your own thing”. Jesus said, “I do nothing on my own initiative” John 8:28 and “apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5. Because I dream it and desire and crave it and want it, does not make it God’s will. One day everything will e summed up in Christ and at the judgment seat of Christ, only those things we did at His bidding, by faith and through His Spirit, will be rewarded, because only those things would have brought Him glory. Daily I make it my goal to “hear and obey”. I strive to hear that small voice, that leads me in paths of righteousness and fruitfulness and frankly, He often leads me to do the smallest of things. Big is only better if He has led us there.

  33. I think as the Psalmist says, Delight thyself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart. Stay true to God and His word and He will make His desires, yours and you will miss out on nothing. Personally, I could not leave my family for travel-I would have missed basketball games, soccer games, encouraging my kids when they lost, taking care of them when they are sick, and just having a relationship with them is so much more important than a BIG name and sitting in a hotel room by myself. God is a God of relationships and a higher calling or dream is to be the best Mom you can be. Even Jesus laid down His life for us to give us life. I have no regrets in being there for my kids and having a great relationship with them. I probably feel very strong about this because I never had a great relationship with my mother due to her choices and my Dad lived 200 miles away so I am pretty passionate about being there for my family-just my thoughts.

  34. Sarah Mae, love your honesty here. I have been thinking lately that so often in Christian circles we talk lots about “following your heart/dreams/a good story” etc. And I wonder if we stamp that idea to mean big and dramatic too often.

    I wrote this about this very idea– particularly in regards to the guy in the rice field and wondering what his dreams are, should he become a Christ-follower– {It’s called “The Guy in the Rice Field Never Read Wild at Heart, and Maybe He’s Happier”}

    Thanks so much for your thoughtful honesty!

  35. Sarah Mae,

    I echo your thougts. I’ve been grappling with this very thing myself.

    Hmmmm….Should we swim out to our ship? Or wait for the ship to come in?

    I feel like if the Lord wants to do certain things with me – He will make them happen. It’s my job to be obedient, and serve my local church (and community), and pray like a warrior, and seek the Spirit’s guidance on opportunities. Because if I’m supposed to end up doing this or that – it won’t matter what writing conferences I go to, or who I impress, or who I make conncections with – He is bigger than all that. All the strife and strain and force – isn’t needed. Plus – if I finally got to some big dream realized….and I knew it was simply from my own force and grit alone…I’d get haughty.

    Another thing I deal with – is spending time and money on making my ‘dreams happen’ – when there are people who Christ loves living in complete despair, starving, and lost. Even things like – getting my nails done before I speak or buying a new oufit to promote myself at a conference – I’m just stirred up in these areas. When I read scripture – all this doesn’t sit well. I’m a tad confused, honestly. Hmmm.

    This is all hard for me. I’m another Mama pondering it all. Lord, lead us!

    – Kate 🙂

  36. This is a feeling and a prayer for me quite often! I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom. We are also a farm family. Sometimes it is a struggle because I know my children need my care, but I also know I have a roll in helping to support our family through our farm. It is a very delicate balance and it seems the best way to keep it intact is to communicate with God constantly and to have faith – and yes it is a struggle, but one worthy of thanks.

    • The great news is that He loves our children even more than we do, and He cares for them-this comforts me when I’m confused and feel guilty…

      Yes, communicate and have faith!

  37. A resounding chord has been strummed, Sarah Mae. As working moms, we seek to serve Him by serving, caring for and nurturing our (His) children and families, and our spirit, with dreams and desires imbued by Him. We struggle to find our way, often questioning if we are giving enough to any of these beautiful and valuable blessings.

    For me, when seeking to know and to fulfill my “God-Sized Dreams” serves Him and the greater good, but does not sacrifice my family, is pure in intention but not ego driven for fame & fortune, I feel I am in alignment with His dreams and desires for me and my family. Sometimes this means they wait, sometimes this means I wait.

    He brings us here to life with a promise, a gift, a passion and a deep heartfelt desire – all to be fulfilled and realized – and He reminds us that for all things, there is a time and a season.

    Many, many woman are silently trying to figure this out. Thank you for providing a safe place to dialog about it.

    much love,
    Terri Conrad

    • Terri, thank you for your kind words today, they fill me up! It’s hard, right? Gosh, this life and discernment and the human condition…it’s all so crazy.

  38. I don’t usually pick up my iPhone and read my email before I even get out of bed, but I didn’t that this morning…and I was blessed by your post. I’ve been struggling with this issue lately (my dreams and why I’m not getting them), and the Lord has spoken to me through you.

    “I wonder if what we call “dreams” are sometimes just our desires to pursue the things we want to do” – that line spoke to me. Maybe so. I don’t have a family, and so it is easy to just do what I want to do….and forget – dare I say – about the Lord. He spoke to me the other day as I whined and said “seek first My kingdom and My righteousness and all these things will be added unto you”. Then, your post. I hear Him, but I have a hard time listening I guess. I get lonely. I get jealous. Being single, it’s difficult to focus these days on anything but myself. I’m not proud of that, but thankfully God is willing to hang in there and change my heart. Dreams are good, but God is SO much better, and you’ve helped to remind me to seek Him first. Thank you.

    Margo @ Legacy of a Single Girl

    • Margo, thank you for this. I love your honesty.

      Looks like we all struggle with this-sometimes I think if I were single I wouldn’t struggle with this, but that’s just a lie.

      Appreciate you!

  39. I think we all struggle with this. The dream to be more, do more, and yes, that means have more. It’s the American way, isn’t it? Or as we both seem to agree, is it really?
    It is a hard balance.

  40. I guess my dream right now is to get to a deeper relationship with Christ and to really understand what it means to be “amazing.” It is something I can’t “make’ happen like most dreams but I still dream of a confidence in the Lord that only He can give me. Oh, how I dream to serve Him with a heart that really PLEASES Him.

  41. I think you bring up a valid point, Sarah. God has called me to a much quieter life than I ever dreamt and at first this confused me, but now I see it’s point- holiness. God is slowly creating a quiet and gentle spirit within me, of far greater value in his eyes than a career “doing great things” such as I have dreamt in the past. I think that many of our dreams come from our sin nature’s desire to draw attention to ourselves. One of the healthiest things we can do is let go of these dreams to attend to the lesson of the day.

  42. Sometimes what we dream is what we think we want. But often, God has other plans for us, and it could be that He had something better in mind – something we never dreamed possible. He gives us our gifts and talents for a reason, His reason. It’s so difficult to be patient and just allow His plan to unfold for us in His time. How well I know.

    And I also know that although many of my dreams have been fulfilled, they also brought pain and challenges with them that weren’t part of that dream.

    It’s a daily challenge for me to let go and let God. I need to remind myself so often, in His time and in His way…and to in the meantime count my blessings, which are many. I need to re-evaluate what’s important to me and need to be reminded to do this.
    Thank you for this beautiful message and for my friend, Terri, who led me here. Although my daughters are grown, it’s still something I think about, because I don’t ever want “success” to be the most important thing that drives me. I’ve pulled back many times, because for me, my heart is with my husband and daughters and the home I make for them. It’s what I believe is the most important “cushion” I can provide while still pursuing my own dreams. I’ve found the balance that works for me, yet I know that the stresses of my profession often make me emotionally less available. Even with my daughters having lives of their own now, I don’t ever want to shortchange them, and with what I do for a living, the stress will always post this challenge. It is never easy for a conscientious mother. We’re always their mother and with that goes this type of reflection…forever.


    • I love your heart! Thank you! And I’ve seen God do things in my life the past couple of years that I never asked for or intended for. It’s been a real stretching.

  43. Whenever I get mixed up about all this (and I do), I come back to the things that I *know* without a doubt are truly God’s heart for me, you know, the one’s I can’t accomplish, but that HE works out in us: belonging, rest, obedience, humility, patience. I am learning that as I abide in Him, He is always faithful, and I can take it one step at a time, trusting I’ll look back and see the beautiful dreams written across my days at the end of my life, even if it feels like just one diaper change, just one bold offer of a painting, words strung together here and there.

  44. I have contemplated this and it is a difficult subject to wrap my head around. The lines can blur between what God wants and what I’m passionate about. I think that He has placed purpose in us, one main purpose is family, yet there are other endeavors that we have been purposed for. I try to include them in everything and say no to many things. Thanks so much for the thought provoking post.

  45. The timing of “How Tightly Should We Hold Onto Our Dreams?” couldn’t have been more perfect for my heart. I just wrestled with the Lord yesterday regarding my dream to “be a writer” whatever that means. I have two children, a husband with a career that has kept him away more often than at home, ADHD which keeps me in a constant state of “doing” but never getting anything done. We are planning to homeschool our daughters for the next couple of years and now I see “my chance” of really sitting down and investing in putting pen to paper slipping away again. But as I lamented my dream’s 100th death I questioned, “Is it really God’s dream for me?” As the dream became a nightmare that was sucking the life from me and the joy from my heart I got my answer. Thanks for putting your thoughts into the written word for all to see, it touched me deeply and I’m happy to see my dream take wings and fly away….. for a while. : ) Best wishes on the decisions you are making.

  46. God-sized dreams…hmmmm. Scripture tells us that God’s voice came in many different forms. In one particular instance it came in a whisper. Why wouldn’t God-sized dreams come in many sizes, including small? As a home school mom, I’ve often struggled with what I’ve been doing with my life all these years at home. I surrendered a public-school teaching career to God in order to stay home with our two daughters. Now that we’ve reached the high school years, I know this time is finite. And it’s been a WONDERFUL season, with terrific fruit in both our girls. I also know, now, that I’m not too old, tired, out-of-the-loop (or fill in the blank) to to in a new direction now. Our family is heading to Africa the end of this year to serve missionary children at Rift Valley Academy. It’s an exciting new turn for all of us. And it’s just further proof to me that while doing what God has called us to do, however big or small it may seem at the time, He continues to let his plan unfold in surprising ways…and sizes.

  47. Thank you for sharing. I’m struggling with these thoughts too — have been since I graduated from college 5 years ago. In a community where Christian moms are expected to stay at home, I’m working full-time to help provide for our family. And not a glamorous or interesting job… just a regular old desk job in a cubicle. Is this enough? Am I supposed to be sacrificing so much time with my 2 little ones so we can pay the bills? Is there a bigger picture beyond all this? Am I supposed to be doing something more meaningful? Hmm. I’ve really benefited from reading through the comments, with the reminders to seek God first and follow him day by day. And remembering that this is just a season, and one I should cherish.

    • Amanda, thank you for chiming in here. What a question, “is it enough?” That’s a gut puncher! I love how you see things as a season, and doing what you can where you are. Really beautiful.

  48. Sarah Mae, this is one of the reasons why I love you so much and why God has placed you in the position you are in. I don’t know that I have any words of wisdom~ smile. You demonstrate great wisdom in the questions you are asking. But I do have a couple of scriptures that I cling to, and I do mean cling. The rush to do more, be more, pursue more, dream bigger and center your whole life around that…the rush is so great and so strong. I must actively resist it, on many counts. Christ demands that we live counter-intuitively and that we die to self and then find life, the life He has for us.

    Anyway, two of the scriptures I use are Psalm 138:8, “The Lord will fulfill His purposes for me.” and Isaiah 49:23, “Those who wait on Me will not be disappointed.” I will wait on His plans and I will not be disappointed!

  49. I made the decision to be at home as my 4 children were growing. I was involved with lots of things but only when it could fit around being mainly with my kids. God always gave me time to write and read even if it was very early morning before the little ones woke. As they grew i did more things as they wanted to be with others more etc. My kids are all grown now, I even have two precious grandsons. It went by so fast. Before I knew it my kids were out of the nest and I am following so many dreams and God is giving me even more. I don’t regret those years at home with my kids one bit. I love relating to them as adults and they are so supportive of all the thigns I do now and are always encouraging me to follow my passion. There were hard days back then, days when I wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, but I’m so happy that I did what I believe God wanted at the time (for me, I’m not saying it is the best way for everyone).

  50. This was an eye-opening post. I must say that this is something that’s been on my heart for the past 2-3 years and I’m glad someone finally had the courage to put it down in writing. I never particularly dreamed about being married – in fact, my goal was to go onto grad school, settle into a “dream” apartment with my best friend, and after getting my masters, work for non-profits, someday do some missions work overseas, travel and see the world, and make enough money to pay off my debts, and have a beautiful home, dog, and garden someday. Of course, life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan. I am constantly reminded that God’s plans are not the same as ours, but His are always better and bring Him glory.

    I married right out of college after going a semester later than I planned, moved into a rather ugly looking apartment despite its size, and started into the path of life with my husband where we often struggled to make ends meet. I never expected it would take me six months to get work and then that work wouldn’t be in my field of choice. I kept dreaming about going back to grad school, but no wheels we turning in that direction. Then my husband announced last year he wanted to move out West and be closer to his family. We did, after much of my reluctance, and now we’re living with my in-laws and he finally got work 3 months later because his first job opportunity fell through.

    But let me tell you something – I’m incredibly joyful and at peace. My husband is working. I’m able to write nearly full time from home. We’ve found a good church to be involved with, and I couldn’t ask for better in-laws. I’m really enjoying getting to know them. It’s been an eye-opening experience and God has taught me so much over the past few months mainly His providence. It’s still a working process, of course, but I’m learning to surrender to His will completely. So I’m not in graduate school, living in a dream apartment, making a big salary, and the grad school option is still not off the table, but honestly, I’m wondering if it’s what I want anymore or what God wants for me. Together our life and our goals are taking a totally different direction than what either my husband or I expected or wanted for ourselves individually. But I’m learning to dream and pray together with my husband, and those are two things I believe is so important in a marriage.

  51. I love this thoughtfulness…it takes so much prayer, and more prayer, and still more prayer to be sure you are full in the will of God–not the dreams of myself. I remind myself that everything outside of my home should come from the overflow…what is left from pouring all of my God given talents, passions, and vision into my family and home first. If it feels like I’m forcing or stretching myself beyond the home sphere, then I need to spend a lot of time thinking about that. As a mother of young children, I have very little overflow. I’ve tried to force several things along the way, but it never works out best.

    And I work full-time outside the home, so I’m not saying that this has anything to do with how many minutes a day you are actually within your 4 walls. I’m just saying that I’m learning that I have to give 110% to my family, children, and husband…and if God blesses me overflow, I share it with others. I have to pursue what’s BEST, not just what is GOOD, and remember to stay in prayer because these dreams, these priorities, these needs shift and change over time.

  52. A great piece.

    I guess, for me, having “God sized dreams” means the (almost) impossible balance of reaching for the stars and being satisfied (REALLY TRUELY 100% CONTENT) with my roots.

    Always keeping the doors open, but also being sublimely happy when they’re closed tight.

  53. 20 In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. 21 If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.

    2 Tim 2:20-21

    I see this as some days we are made for wood & clay. On others, we are made for gold & silver.

  54. Thank you for these words! I so often get an itch to “go.” Where? I’m not sure, really. But almost immediately I sense God’s presence reminding me He put me “here,” and there is plenty to do right here.

  55. Oh my friend are we in the same boat today!!! I have been wrestling with this very same issue all…day…long! Through reading your post God reminded me of a post that I wrote about Mommy guilt a while back. (I attached the address to my name above.) As I was beginning to read some of the comments of the many others of us who have struggled with this issue, the Holy Spirit led me to go back, look up my own post and read what I wrote back then, WOW. Some things just never change, one of those things is the Enemy’s tactics to pull us down! Towards the end of my own post the Holy Spirit reminded me of a day when I was laying on my bathroom floor sobbing (from Mommy Guilt and my dreams battling one another) and pouring myself out at His feet. I gave myself, my dreams, my hopes, everything over to Him that day and I asked Him to SHOW me what HIS dreams for me were. Which He did immediately (how gracious of Him), when I realized that neither of my children were in the picture I asked Him about them. “Where are my kids in all this Lord?” And again, immediately He showed me a picture of me at a weekly prayer meeting I attend and take my four year old with me. She is the only child that comes so I simply fill her little princess bag up with activities and snacks and she plays in the corner while we pray. She is an INCREDIBLY well behaved child. But He showed me that prayer meeting not from my own point of view, but from hers. From her point of view she could see her Mommy who loves her desperately praying for her, her brother and his friends, their school and our town.
    While the Enemy would like for me to believe that I’m “dragging” her around to these meetings and “ignoring” her while I spend time using my God given gift of writing and teaching, the truth of the matter is that this is God’s plan for our life. While I may not be spending this time teaching my daughter how to count or read, she’s learning a life skill that will serve her better than any other life skill on this planet. The power of a prayerful, mission-minded woman!
    No, we can not lose sight of our families. But we can’t forsake our gifts and talents either. It’s like an earlier commenter said “submit to Him”.
    God has reminded me through this trial today that as long as I lean not on my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight. Sometimes NOT being there for our kids is the best thing for them.

  56. I wrestle with this, too. There are dreams I want to pursue, even things I do believe God has put in my heart. But… fighting that temptation to force it now when His plans might be different…

  57. This piece really spoke to me. As a young professional trying to figure out what direction I’m supposed to move in, I have really been struggling with my purpose, what the Lord has planned for me.

    Even though I don’t have to juggle young children and home life with a career, I often get caught up in what society thinks I should be doing and what my peers are doing versus what I’m doing now versus what the Lord wants me to do. And after a rough few days (or weeks) at a job I don’t feel particularly passionate about, my thoughts start wandering. I find myself constantly reaching for the next step, a job that will make me happier, make me feel more fulfilled.

    I’ve often thought to myself, “I feel this way because the Lord has put this purpose, this dream in my heart,” but you’ve made me really think – and I think maybe it’s Satan actively working to make sure I’m full of discontent and focusing on things other than the Lord. I definitely think that for me, trying to follow God-sized dreams has been a way to justify “do (my) own thing”.

    I know what I need to do – prayer, prayer, prayer and chasing HIM. Thanks for the reminder

  58. I can get really caught up in the “should do’s.” As in I “should be doing this, that and the other.” I found myself feeling guilty about cleaning my house because I wasn’t focusing on my “should be’s” in regards to my own writing dreams.

    What God has taught me to do is to climb up on the alter every day and present myself as that living sacrifice. I drag my to do list with me and offer it up with both hands – and that includes writing and realizing my dreams, too. I ask God not to let me run over people, whether my family, my friends or the neighbor that needs to talk, in my rush to do and get things done and “be productive.” Every day (or almost since some days I forget), I purposely give my body, mind and will to God.

    My boys are older – 10 and 13 yo – but they still need me. Spending time with them and taking care of them is something I enjoy because I know I will blink and they will be gone, following their own dreams. In 10 years, I’ll have more time than I want. If it truly is God’s dreams for me, I can rest in His timing and His plans.

    Thanks for this post – it’s a good reminder. 🙂

  59. This is a crucial topic for Christians to explore, Sarah Mae. I appreciate your willingness to tackle it. I’ve often wondered what makes it a “God dream” versus simply a “want dream.” I believe God’s dreams are often realized one tiny step at a time over many years. For me, my children are old enough that they need me less in many ways, but they still need me. They will always need their mama–and I will always need them. That in itself is a God-size dream. However, my steps can now be slightly longer, a little faster, pursuing that other “God dream.” May you be richly blessed for your commitment to your family and the Lord!

  60. I like the idea that God’s dreams for us could be small, the way God sometimes has a still, small voice. I’m at a point in my life where just earning my living and becoming a less sucky person are what I really want–maybe I should be more ambitious, but whatevs–and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with those priorities.

    Is it weird that I read your blog even though I don’t have or want kids? Lol.

  61. I LOVE this! I completely agree…a few months ago, God spoke to me about this topic. I was worshipping in church and singing song lyrics about going where God wants you, going with Him. I said the words, “Lord, I will go with you.” In my mind, I was thinking of a bigger dream, a bigger plan, a bigger impact for Him. In my heart, I heard a still, small voice: “Yes, but will you stay?”

    That hit me like a ton of bricks! God’s place for me right now isn’t doing some grand thing for him, it’s doing what the world sees as a small, insignificant task of being a homemaker, and mother to my children. But, to God it’s important enough that, for now at least, it’s His calling on my life.

  62. Thank you for that wonderful reminder. I struggled greatly with this a few years back while my photography business what really taking off and growing tremendously. We were (and gratefully continue to be) a home schooling family. I was struggling with what I really wanted with my photography and with what I was able to do with my children.

    A dear and very wise friend said, “If you never do another professional shoot and your business ends here and now… OR if you are not the mom that your kids need you to be for them. Which could you handle?”

    It really put it all into perspective for me and allowed me to really lay MY OWN personal dreams down. BUT OH! How I have been blown away with the things that the Lord has done and how he has blessed our family and children from this venture that was not MY dream, but HIS (and my kids)!

    My foot is still in the photography world. Well, more of a big toe really. I still get to shoot friends and family, the ski team that my kids are on, and the odd wedding. Just as much as I can handle without losing sight of the eternally important.

    Thank you so much for the timely reminder.

    These three, who God has entrusted me with, are the “God-sized dream” right now. Wow. I need to write that down. Thank you.

  63. I think it is so important to recognise that the shape of our dreams are unique, their outworking is unique in each of our lives, because we are all unique and God doesn’t treat us as one size fits all. We all have different gifts and passions and so whatever the ‘size’ of our God-dream, they all matter and are all needed to reflect the totality of God.

    We so need discernment to recognise our seasons – 1 Chronicles 12 refers to the sons of Issachar who recognised the seasons and also knew what Israel should do in that season. This is often my prayer, Lord help me recognise the season and what you are asking of my right now and what is for later (or not at all!). For those who are feeling discouraged that their time will never come, I was reminded recently that God never hides things from us, He hides them for us – His timing is perfect, He knows when we are ready and what He can entrust each of us with. When He is ready, He will release what He has prepared for us – rest and trust in who He is.

  64. You ask very poignant questions.

    What does it really mean to have a dream? I feel it means using the God given brain to imagine something wonderful and then be passionate about it.

    How far should we let our “dreams” take us? First they should take us to prayer–seeking God’s Will.

    I believe that God has given you little ones to care for as an inheritance. You just never know what spending a few minutes with them will mean to them now and in the future.

    My dream is simple– a different job–perhaps one in medical coding & billing. I have trained for this, but no open doors yet. Just lots of prayers!

  65. I so needed this today. I am right there with you….on the verge of something new and exciting. But so wanting it to “fit” into this sweet little life we have. I loved the image you gave “putting our children on the altar of our dreams”. Whew! I like that perspective.
    I do believe God changes our dreams. My lifelong dream was to be a first grade teacher. And it happened and I LOVED it. Then came two babies at once and suddenly they became the dream I didn’t know I had! Now they are in school along with our littlest. The dream of long ago could be a reality again. And yet, I am filled with tension that I never thought I would have at this stage. Do I work full time again-part time-in a school-at the church? I want my dream to be God’s dream for me. But, I just don’t know what that is right now. I pray and ponder and read scripture. But, I am filled with questions and worry about making the right choice for all of us! Any suggestions!?

  66. What if my dreams are for the little ways that touch peoples lives? I’m at the beginning of a new phase of life…new job, soon to have an empty nest, coming out of a period of loss in my life. So what dream is God calling me too now? I’ve never been one for the “big” dreams..always felt called to the personal connections. Big doesn’t fit me or at least it hasn’t so far in my life.
    I like the idea that I don’t have to push for God’s dreams for me…I can rest in Him and trust his timing….that’s very freeing!
    Thank you for this post…it struck a chord in me.

  67. After reading a few comments, especially from moms with younger families, thought I would add my thoughts from a place a little further down life’s road…my oldest two children are “out of the house” and the youngest is a freshman in high school. I remember older mom’s telling me that it would go fast (when each of my days seemed a few hours too long! I could hardly wait 🙂 ) I was a “stay at home” mom, driving everyone everywhere, with my seminary degree in a box on a shelf. And here I am, enjoying every last game/meet/concert/silent drive knowing they are about to come to an end. And guess what? God put me in a PERFECT job for me, at this time in my life! I went back to work a few years ago, part time as Christmas retail, which led to the next job, and now a position that fits my passions as a hospice chaplain – 4 days a week, which is so perfect for this season in our family. Life is a series of seasons. When I was little, summer vacation stretched on and on, and now a days even winter flies by…

  68. Thanks for sharing your heart about dreaming…As a single woman I sometimes just am not sure which of the dreams are for now, which are for later & which aren’t of Him. But I definitely know to stop dreaming would probably be the worst possible response for any of us. For me, it’s figuring out which one to pursue next, when & alongside whom? Thanks again for sharing your heart!

  69. I used to think that my “God-sized dreams” would not only impact the world but bring me fulfillment as well. I’ve learned that they do but not at all in the way I had planned it.

    Sometimes God gives us little seeds or glimpses of our future and then we start hastily planning how we should get there instead of waiting on Him to guide us. And the fulfillment we receive should be of and from Him and not man. The test of a God-sized dream is to ask the hard questions:

    Who gets the most out of this? His people or my people (self, family, friends)?
    Is there another way that the same outcome could be achieved but with less of my interests involved?
    Does this God-sized dream interfere with my God-given responsibilities?

    Jesus had a God-sized dream and the bible specifically states that He asked His father to give Him an alternate plan. He didn’t want to endure that kind of torture and death. He was doing more than great walking to and fro spreading the news of His Father’s kingdom but that was not God’s ultimate plan. His plan was for His son to be a sacrifice. If we are to do greater works than He, fulfill God-sized dreams, then we must give a greater sacrifice. Sacrifice does not involve things that are done with the intention of self-fulfillment. God may honor us with a bit of that but if our intentions are to receive it then we are in sin.

    His God-sized dreams are about Him and His people, not us. We store up rewards in heaven, not on Earth. Because He is a loving God He sometimes gives us glimpses of those rewards here on Earth but that is simply to give us hope as an anchor for our soul. This place is not our home. When we try to make it so we cheat ourselves and miss out on our God-sized dreams.

  70. I have enjoyed this thought that you have put out here Sarah Mae …..and the responses. I have a different perspective as an older women [ yikes am I really 52!!]

    I begun my path as an educated career women, then, God blessed me with the the gift of falling in love and thus relocating away from what & who I knew & where I worked. I decided to place that part of “me” on the shelf when I began raising my 4 children. I invested all my time & energy into being a stay-at-home Mom & become part owner in our family business and supported my husbands career. Was is always easy… No! Was it worth it…Oh Yes! I know that this was exactly right for me and was such a great privilege to be able to enjoy those years that flew by too fast. Over the years I had to recommit to it, deciding what my journey was & how it would unfold . That is what worked for me. Did I always understand and agree with how it was being played out… sometimes no. But I knew that God was asking me to sacrifice and lay my dreams down to raise up & support others. It has been worth it!

    I am now looking at an empty nest in 2 yrs & have gone back to school to re-educate in a new field to begin a career, thus beginning a new & very different chapter in my life when my son goes to college. A new dream…maybe. A fulfillment of a dream from 25-30 yrs ago…. maybe. Maybe a new variation of an old dream. But the great thing is that I have been given another dream to pursue and follow that will bless my God, my family & myself. Over the years I have had many dreams fulfilled, many unanswered, and many unexpected ones happen that I was not anticipating. Of course I had a life plan in university & felt that I had it all worked out. Hahah!! Gotta love God’s sense of humor and his ability to turn a life upside down so he can be glorified & praised. 🙂

    The one constant is walking with God — seeking God — & re-evaluating your journey as you travel it. God is the giver of dreams!! This I do believe, but they are in different sizes [ as you say ] and also in different seasons of our lives. To me that is very important as we can not have all things all at once. We will exhaust ourselves trying to do everything and be a super women…. then no one wins!! But one dream is not more or less important, because through them all God is using dreams to transform & mold us to who HE knows we can be. Just as your dreams Sarah Mae & your choices are what is meant for you. God places hope in all our hearts and allows us the opportunity to have dreams. As many have said, filter it through the word of God – listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading – see who God places in your path to infuse encouragement or caution: and then walk forward knowing that you are not alone. Do expect a few bumps , obstacles, or challenges… because they will be there, but don’t let it deter you from what you feel is your dream. That is what is so great… we all have been given those whisperings in out hearts & souls. With the hand of God upon us… with God in our lives; only He knows where it will take us. Be prepared it will not be always easy & always clear, but you will have the affirmation of God guiding you.

    Go forth Sarah Mae …..realize the dreams God has planted in your heart. Use your discernment in how they work with your family & life and then soar like an eagle!!
    Sending Blessings

  71. I actually wrote a post about this not too long ago. I too think that often, a person’s “dream” is really their own interest being pursued, that is not really God’s plan for them. I have been there. We need to be continually emptied of self, seeking the Lord for what HE wants us to do, not asking God to bless OUR desires. This life on earth is about dying to self and walking the road that God has laid out for us.

  72. I am also pondering this. Is my dream really God’s or mine? I constantly ask Him to show me, especially when things get a bit rocky. Does He want something big for me or small. Small is also good, if that is what He wants.
    I will pray for you as i write this. My children are in college now but tell me that I was too busy doing ‘God’s work’ and they resented it. Two have even walked away from Him right now. I know it was not because I was busy, and that they are searching, but I do feel guilty at times. Let God lead and not your heart. Your children are only with you a short time.
    On the other hand, one of my children is just like me!
    May God bless and lead you.

  73. Thank you for writing this. I’ve been struggling with the very same thing. For the last 2 1/2 years I’ve put my kids (2 1/2 and 1) before everything, but the more independent they are, the more I find myself dreaming about other things I want to do…writing, art, earning more money to pay off our debts, Bible studies, volunteering, church, etc, etc… It’s all good, but I know that the GOOD can become the enemy of the BEST. I want to do what’s BEST for my kids, my husband, and me in the long run, and maybe that means putting some dreams on hold for awhile. They’re only little for such a short time, and I don’t want to miss it…

  74. Thank you for this post, Sarah! Two things that God has been showing me lately is to ‘lay down’ and ‘let go’…and this post just confirmed again what He has been teaching me 🙂

  75. Thanks for your honesty! I am new to this community and find your post refreshing. I don’t have an answer, but appreciate your openness. Aren’t you doing God’s work by writing and inspiring others with your words? I am a big fan of finding a happy balance. Good luck to you and thanks again for sharing.


  76. Struggling with this today Sarah, glad to see I’m not alone. I love my kids dearly, but raising them is honestly the hardest job I have ever had. 2 boys a year apart 3 & 4 take constant discipline. (I have a little girl too but she is super easy right now.) If I don’t get time away… if I pull at 12-14 hour day with them it is healthy for nobody. I get my energy from being alone and am incredibly drained after a day spent discipling. The struggle is my husband valuing time for me to regroup as much as I do. He tries. But writing and speaking is an outlet for me and I feel like I honestly will go crazy without it. So I push and push for it but then I feel guilty like I should be just jumping out of bed loving disicipling my kids all day, getting poop flicked in my face b/c my year old pooped his pants and hearing whining 86% of the time. Honestly not my idea of an enjoyable day. Anywho… this is where I am at. Processing. Trying to find the balance and wishing there was a formula since my nature is to rely on my own strength instead of the Lord. So instead clinging to the Lord and being refreshed that I’m not alone.

  77. Love this post . . .made me think of this quote that is written in the back cover of my Bible: “Sometimes what we need from the Bible is not the fulfillment of our dream, but the swallowing up of our failed dream in the all-satisfying glory of Christ. We do not always know the path of deepest joy. But all Scripture is inspired by God to take us there. Therefore Scripture is worth more than all this world can offer.” John Piper, When I Don’t Desire God. I love the idea of my dreams being swallowed up int he all-satisfying glory of Christ. Just another way to describe that routine act of surrendering everything – including my dreams – to the Lordship (and will) of Jesus. When it comes to my dreams, sometimes I get it right and sometimes I get it wrong. But if I have ears to hear, eyes to see, and a heart to respond, God is always faithful to “sanctify” my dreams with His Word and the council of His Spirit.

  78. You know the song by Avalon, “I don’t want to go somewhere if I know that you’re not there.” I’ve prayed this, while praying for God to fulfill my/our dream of a little homestead somewhere. But being willing to give it up if it’s not…I have also prayed, “Lord, take this desire away from me if it’s not in your will.” He’s not taken it. Perhaps it is timing. Perhaps he is working in ways I can’t see right now. But I do know he has put me home with my children and that is my priority…whether it be in the big city or on a few acres. And not overlooking the things he has for me to do there — for the elderly gentleman a few doors down or and panhandler on the street — while my focus is on my dream. That is key.