This time last year, I cracked open a new journal and turned the page in a new calendar. I opened documents and drafted posts and wrote lists with new pens in pretty colors.
Of course I did. How else would I capture my resolutions for the new year?
Sometimes, it’s true, I write tasks on my to-do list simply for the pleasure and accomplishment of then crossing them off. But in general I make lists because without them, I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going or why on earth I shouldn’t spend my hours reading ridiculous novels and watching reruns on the couch.
And when it comes to the more important things in life – my goals, my dreams and my responsibilities – I know the only way to get started and get anything done is to write it all down.
Looking back on my goals for 2011, I can only conclude that I felt good last January. I felt ambitious and capable and determined. I resolved to do many big things, many important [to me] things. And now that another twelve months have passed, I’m forced to evaluate my progress.
- Lose a lot of weight
- Run a half marathon
- Run a 5K
- Write a book proposal
- Read the entire Bible
- Go on monthly dates with my husband
Hmmm . . . let’s see. I don’t really want to talk about the first one, and as you can see, I revised my running goal to 3.2 miles instead of 13.1. I did work out for several months on a regular basis (uncommon for me), but when it came time for the 5K, I walked about three of those 3.2 miles. I didn’t write a book proposal, and I stopped reading my One Year Bible a few months into the year. And those monthly dates? I haven’t stopped to count, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t happen more often than they did.
But is that the only way to look at my goals and the progress I’ve made?
I hope not. Because the picture I’ve painted so far is one of failure and disappointment. And that’s not really a good way to start a new year. As I examine my past year and what I’ve accomplished – or not – it’s easy to focus on tiny bits and pieces of giving up and it’s too hard and I just can’t do it. What happens, though, if I look at the whole picture?
- I see that, for the first time in my life (or at least since I was a teenager), I exercised on a regular basis. And while I had tons of amazing support from several friends, I did it on my own. Most often in the mornings, which – as some of you might know – are not my favorite.
- I remember that even though I didn’t run for miles at any point in time, I did run. I did run.
- And while I didn’t write a book proposal, despite the not-just-one-but-two e-books I bought about writing book proposals, I did write an e-book.
- I didn’t read the entire Bible, but I joined a Bible study at our new church, worked on verse memorization with my daughter and am looking forward to reading the entire New Testament this spring.
- Twelve dates would not have seemed like a lot a few years ago. But now that babysitters, night shifts and a number of other road blocks are part of our everyday marriage, it’s hard to make it happen. My husband and I keep trying, though – and we did spend time together several times last year. (I can’t decide which is the more significant part of this resolution – that we keep trying or that we succeeded in part. I think I’ll just be satisfied that I have two things to be happy about!)
A few months ago a good friend asked me a simple question that has really altered the way I think about my goals. She said, “What if you redefine success?”
Redefining success doesn’t mean giving up on my goals or cutting myself so much slack that I never change or move or act. It doesn’t mean throwing away dreams or resolutions. What it means to me is looking at the individual steps involved in each of my dreams and setting out to do the next thing. And even if that next thing is not a best-selling book or a 100-lb. weight loss or a marathon medal around my neck, as long as I took that step, then I’ve succeeded.
My goals are pretty much the same this year as they were last year (including the ever-present “remember to floss every day,” which has plagued me my entire adult life). But this time I’m going to count it success every time I take one of those small steps or do the next thing.
Did you make resolutions last year? How did you do? Can you count the small and large successes as you make your way toward your goals?
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Mary, I love your perspective about celebrating the steps along the way. Because that is progress towards success isn’t it! I applaud your efforts at exercising regularly for the first time – what a great example for your daughter. That, alongside bible memorisation with her, are definitely worth congratulating!
Thanks, Pauline! My daughter actually loves doing exercise videos with me. Of course, her definition of exercising is pretty different than mine. She hops around on one foot and swings her arms around for about four minutes. Then she spends a few more minutes “coaching” me (echoing the instructor on the video), and then she’s off to play with some toys! 🙂
[…] To read about how I’m redefining success in light of last year’s (and, let’s be ho…. […]
I so appreciate your perspective. As a 52 year old mother of grown girls and 30 years of marriage, I can say my list has looked very similar and feelings of “failure” heard clearly through the echos of each approaching January. This year I’m trying to approach “resolutions” with more fun. What new things do I want to do or improve on this year, it makes each day a fun challenge.
Dorothy, I love the idea of making resolutions fun. Seems like they’re probably more likely to happen if we view them as fun adventures rather than hard to-dos!
Oh thank you so much for this post! What a breath of fresh air. I’ve also been coming around to the idea of tweaking my definition of success. I recently blogged about my struggle with keeping resolutions — the notion that I have to always be doing more in order to succeed. I am learning that oftentimes success comes through surrender. Thank you so much for your insights–and congratulations on taking those smaller steps–you are an encouragement to me. 🙂
“Oftentimes success comes through surrender” – Sarah, that is beautiful. And it fits so well with a post I’m writing for later this week that I’m going to quote you! Thank you for sharing your heart and your lovely words!
I love your outlook, Mary! Very inspiring in a very refreshing way!:)
I really appreciate this perspective and outlook on goals. I LOVE how you said “as long as I took that step, then I’ve succeeded.” Amen sister! This is a revolutionary way to view successes, big or small! Thanks for sharing w/ us!
Thank you for your post.
i’m grateful to say that God helped me:
1) eat more veggies and fruits this year intentionally
2) run a 5k
3) record some original songs I wrote
Also (this is a women’s post right?) – I must say my Period has regulated a lot and it’s been pretty irregular over the years. All of this stuff shows me God’s hand is present and he is the Good shepherd; because I never really put these things ob my daily list but he brought them to me and helped me adjust my values. I am counting on Him to do the same and more this year. Thanks Abba,
Love,
Angie
Angie, those are great accomplishments! It’s amazing what God can do in and through us, isn’t it?
Friend, my goals list looks a lot like yours–more redone than done. Whew. I feel a lot better about that after reading your post. And it makes me want to set new goals because, hey, at least they lead to something good even if it’s not the original plan!
Holley, I love that perspective – even if our steps of success don’t lead us where WE thought we were going, they’ll lead us where GOD wants us to go!
I love the idea of redefining success, Mary. It is hard to stay properly motivated and encouraged when driven by fear of failure. Any small steps toward are resolutions are more than if we had never set the goals at all! Blessings to you.
Wow…Love that you bare your journal page/resolutions to the world with open honesty! Great to see the progress = success that you made!
I have recently learned to focus on “EVERY 30 DAYS”. I break my BIG goal(s) into every 30 day goals and focus on one day at a time, accomplishing my three priorities each day to accomplish my 30 day goal/focus! I’m loving it!
That is such a smart approach, Tracy. Even though I just officially typed up my 2012 goals (yes, I’m a nerd like that!), this makes me want to re-do the whole thing to break it into 30 day goals. Love it!
Love the perspective of baby steps (kaizen). Made resolutions this year: Get in and stay in shape; run/walk a 5K–doesn’t matter just that I finish. Also will have dates with hubby.
One way to read the Bible through in a year is to go to Biblegateway.com and listen to it each day. I do it daily, usually while feeding animals or emptying dishwasher. That way you’ve read it–in a sense.
Good luck on your resolutions!
Beth, I’d never thought about listening to the Bible. Well, to be honest, I’d thought that my husband should do it, but I never put two and two together and thought about doing it myself! Great idea!!
Goals get me moving and stepping out – in any direction. Otherwise I’m too tempted to remain in sameness. So, whether I reach them, or not, or the goal shifts, or circumnstances change or it no longer matters in the same way and something else becomes a greater priority – at least I’m moving towards a target. That same momentum propels me forward even when the goal shifts somewhat and keeps me sharp and engaged in life! Life is a process, not the end result.
Thank you so much for this post! I love how you said our steps are important. I am a task oritented person so if I don’t accomplish all of the task I tend to feel like a failure. You have opened my eyes to a completely different mindset. Thank you!
Thank you! I tend to see all my failure and shortcomings, rather than my successes and well-doings. Thank you for your encouragement, but also to that I know I’m not alone. My goal is to change my view of myself and my life — to purpose to see the good things I do instead of dwelling on the mistakes.
I feel the same way as most of these ladies. Great perspective and a great way to start the new year. Looking forward to moving down the road with 2012 goals and as long as I’m not standing still and allowing God to guide my path I will consider it a good year!
Whew! Thanks for giving me room to breathe, along with a different perspective!
I love your realistic perspective, Mary. And, really? flossing is way overrated. 🙂
Seriously, it so is. 🙂
Love this one today. Sometimes we get so caught up in the “should have dones” that we forget to acknowledge to everyday successes in our lives. I think it helps to think and write about the things we have accompished and what we are doing to be better. Success is not necessarily a finish, it is a path to get there.
I didn’t make a list last year, but I did learn, at some point during the year, that making lists of even the small things is very freeing! We beat ourselves up for not achieving EVERYTHING when we should celebrate every victory.
As a parent of two (nearly) grown children, I’ve learned a lot in the past two years about redefining what success looks like in each of my children’s lives. I set goals for what I think success looks like, then God surprised me with children who are very different than I am. One will probably never measure up to academic measures of success, but has gifts and talents in other areas that just blow me away. I’m learning to redefine success as moving forward in becoming the person God created me to be and embracing my shortcomings and failures as opportunities to ask for forgiveness and see how desperately I need Jesus.
I would define it by doing and completing what God says HE wants me to complete, honestly because if i get too lofty, nothing will get accomplished or matter. So that’s all really.
Thank you for the perspective. We’ve run into some obstacles, not unsurmountable but they are there and this helps remove some of the mountain from the molehill,
I love this! Redefining success. Counting the steps–one at a time. Truly transforms everything!
Me too…love the redefining success….great encouraging post…thanks.
We moved back to the states after living over seas and it’s been a rough transition for me and it’s not over as we are moving from Ky. to California soon. During this transition so many other things have taken place that have nothing to do with our transition. Lots of illness, a wreak, more illness…had to just plain drop some of the goals I had so of course FELT like a failure. Finally came to the conclusion the goals I could not meet were just that “my goals”. I have slowed down so much and all the illnesses have given me more time to see His steps laid out before me. His steps are slower, smaller, easier to walk and more revealing of some areas in my heart that I would have over looked had I stayed on my agenda.
I don’t feel like a sucess but I don’t feel like a failure either. Just feel blessed to have such a personal God whose eyes is on the sparrows but I also know He watches me. I sense His personal interest in me, little old me with all my fraility and set back. I just plain feel LOVED by the most awesome wonderful Holy God. He is my sucess.
[…] I wrote about resolutions at (in)courage on Tuesday, and one of the comments echoed what I’ve been thinking all month [yes, all less than two weeks of this month]. Sarah said, “Oftentimes success comes through surrender.” […]
[…] 13, 2012 By Diaper Diaries Leave a Comment Love this new way to look at New Year’s Resolutions::: Redefining SuccessThis has been all over Facebook, but in case you missed it::: Why I Hate Religion, But Love […]
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