About the Author

Natasha is a farmer’s wife who bears her own scars and finds her healing in the King of kings.

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  1. Thank you for this. You have put into words some thoughts I also have on pain and suffering. I copied your blog to read at a ladies’ study. We are currently memorizing James 1:2-8, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials….”

  2. This is such a hard concept for me right now…it seems as of late my husband and I just can’t catch a break. He lost a job (thankfully found another) but now that too is possibly on the rocks and then I lost my job last week. We feel like we try and praise God in ALL things, we are so thankful and grateful when we do see blessings…but we keep asking ourselves “how many times do we have to be beaten down?”

    I know God is there….but it feels so lonely right now. And I don’t understand this happening again. I start to look around at all those that don’t have trials, where prosperity and blessings just keep falling in their laps…and they aren’t true believers…and I struggle with envy. It is an awful place to be…

    I know this place is not our home….but it is so hard when everything feels so broken to keep my focus on heaven and not what we are going through in the moment.

    Thank you for sharing your heart here….

    • Oh, I hear you! Since I wrote this, some of my “old” trials have shown back up again and I’ve found myself saying, “Okay, God, when is enough, enough?!”

      I feel like its a continual lesson. Learning to turn again and again to him- trusting when we can’t see.

      There is a verse in Isaiah (42:16) that says, “I will lead the blind by ways they have no known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth….”

      I was reading that lately and was struck by the fact that for him to guide us, we have to be blind and for him to bring light, we have to be lost in darkness and there has to be rough places if he’s going to make them smooth.

      I will be praying for you and your husband- that you will remain faithful until the end- even in darkness and rough places.

      Blessings.

  3. I am so glad that you have shared this at (in)courage today!!
    This one paragraph really, truly spoke to my heart –
    “The truth is that the most precious thing in the middle of pain is to hear that God knows. Not just that He knows about a situation but that He knows my pain. And while I may be angry that He didn’t protect me or them or whoever… I also have the knowledge that He didn’t protect himself either.”
    I will share it with my hubby this evening. And even though I already know the truth you spoke here, you’ve said it in a way that touched me. Especially, that last sentence. You see our son was shot and killed in Nov of ’07. We have both struggled with this, hubby more than I. So, thank you for your words written here today.

  4. Thank you for this. What a sorrowful, wonderful picture you paint: “I’ve looked at the horrible and not known what to do. I’ve raged and ranted and screamed, asking why or why not, then crumbled into a heap at God’s feet begging for explanation… and I’ve felt His tears and I’ve heard His voice.”
    Beautiful.

  5. It wasn’t until the loss of my stillborn son in September that I realized how much the invisible scars hurt worse. I feel like you writing to me.

  6. I am very, very blessed not to know the pain and anguish of losing a child.

    But I know those who are absolutley deeply scarred by this and simliar atrocities.

    The ultimate battle of If GOD, then WHY EVIL/LOSS/GRIEF/PAIN/SUFFERING?

    In moments like the ones that you have described words fail me, so I just pray and I hold hands and I bring frozen pizzas. Because often, that is all I have to offer in such seeming darkness.

    The new song that goes “We are the light of the world, we are the city on a hill” comes to my mind. When others are in darkness, let us be even a GLIMPSE of the light.

  7. Natasha, I want to thank you, your article really spoke to me!

    My husband and I are struggling with infertility and we have lost both of our children thru miscarriages. After my second miscarriage last year, I was laying in bed one night and couldn’t sleep, tears pouring from my eyes. The pain was overwelming and I prayed to God for strength and comfort. I heard him say to me “My Child, I KNOW what you are going thru I, also lost my Child. I gave him up because I LOVED You So Much and wanted to save you (and everyone else in the world)!” God Does KNOW our hurts and he is with us holding us in the palm of his hands! Even though I will never be the same person that I was before, I Know that one day in Heaven I will see my precious children! Until then God is holding them and loving them more than I can even imagine!

    Wishing you many blessings!

  8. “So we must cling to the truth. The only truth we have. That our God, the one who IS, the one who created us all, who loves us all… knows.”
    You are so right, Natasha. He knows, that’s enough. Thank you for words that touch my soul!

  9. Every place of pain, every scar is a place God comes to with healing in His hands, it starts in the heart that opens up to receive it and take the healing journey with Him, and then He slowly and tenderly moves you from the horrible hurting place to a healing place.

  10. I so needed to read this today. We’ve struggled with infertility for what seems like sooo long, and it’s been extra hard lately. I just needed that reminder that sometimes the painful things just are. And that God is, too. He is always there.

  11. We don’t think of this often, do we, that fact that every single sadness and pain we feel, God felt first. Actually, truly felt it, just as we do. This paragraph spoke the most to me tonight: “The truth is that the most precious thing in the middle of pain is to hear that God knows. Not just that He knows about a situation but that He knows my pain. And while I may be angry that He didn’t protect me or them or whoever… I also have the knowledge that He didn’t protect himself either.” He didn’t protect Himself either. That is something to remember, isn’t it.

    Thank you for your words today.