In the next few weeks, Christmas cards and letters from friends far and near will descend on our mailbox. Memories will resurface from a lifetime ago. Unfamiliar faces will appear in pictures, as marriages have dissolved and new covenants established. Successes, trips, achievements and well wishes will be touted, and all along, I’ll wonder, “How are they really doing?”
It’s been years since I have sent out family Christmas letters. In fact, 50 copies of our 2005 family picture still line the bottom of my desk screaming, “You are the Queen of Best Intentions.” In a new season of life, I will re-establish that reciprocal “exchange of cards” tradition, with the desire of getting re-added to the list of the numerous families who have given up on me, but also in hopes of sending a card that would get to the heart of the matter.
Here’s my real family Christmas letter.
Dear friends and family,
I can’t believe I am wishing you all a Merry Christmas. Wasn’t it just yesterday that the Lord graciously ushered in 2011? I need to just make it through one more week and then I can slow down, pause and truly reflect on all that He has done in our lives this year.
We’ve had a host of new experiences for our family, all divinely appointed, but some filled with heartbreaking challenges. The older I get, the more intimately I am aware of my need for a Savior.
Our five children still fill the majority of my time, although they are no longer the stair step toddlers I just birthed. Our three little boys are practically grown men, and attempting to feed them creates challenges of their own. Our eldest turned eighteen last week (with our youngest just eight), and it aroused such a myriad of emotional mommy moments. Do you remember when you were 18? So much potential, so many admirable leadership qualities, and yet 18 year olds truly believe they are “so wise in their own eyes.”
As I mother, I continue to grow and learn more about myself than I care to know. Often though, I realize I am just a mess – a mess that is fully loved and accepted by a Savior who calls me to this most sacred occupation. My desire is to just love my children like God loves me, and continually pursue their heart. I want no regrets, yet often I am just exhausted. One child said to me, “Mom, you just care too much. Other parents just don’t really ask these kinds of questions.”
As we engaged in this heart to heart dialogue surrounding tough issues, I shared that as I stand before the Lord, if He states that my worst mistake was caring too much about the core character and heart attitude of our children, then I’ll take it, but I doubt it will happen. Child rearing calls for such a delicate balance – that giving of freedom, while nurturing, correcting and discipling. Even with our 12 year old daughter, I pray incessantly that the Lord will reveal to her who she is in Christ. She is a dream child – obedient, hard working, responsible. She even cleans and organizes without being asked, yet I fear there’s a tendency towards self induced perfectionism. I want her to know His freedom. My desire is for her to understand the precious, face of grace, and the full life of abundance that He offers. But, I’m sorry, enough about the kids.
Two years ago today, our family struggled with a year long period of unemployment that I coined our God Watch. Now we are so grateful for a new job that my husband loves, and doubly blessed as I attempt to navigate the waters of a blog turned into a work at home business. While I am fortunate to work doing something I love: encouraging women with creative, money saving ideas for their home, sharing free gifts like my Conversation Starters and Christmas Coupon Book, I still struggle to balance meal time mountain, housework, homeschooling, and time with my husband, not to mention cultivating friendships. Sometimes I feel as if I am not doing any of them well, but am grateful for people in my life who keep me rooted. As my hubby works long hours and I do the same, our date nights have been far between. Our marriage is solid and our communication is good, but we know that we cannot forsake prioritizing our time together, which we have done too much of this year. I marvel at his unconditional love for me. He treasures me and doesn’t even care that I have gained over ten pounds this year and admittedly, does not want to work out (but I am getting there.)
This past July, a sandwich competition afforded our family a trip of a lifetime. For a long time, our prayer has been that our kids would experience firsthand the kind of poverty that only occurs through a third world environment. So not only did the oldest four children take their first ever plane ride, but they took it to Guatemala, where our family worked in an orphanage and surrounding countryside. Their eyes were opened to the toiling work of the native villagers, and I prayed for softening of hearts. It happened, but I guess I don’t know what I expected after that week, maybe that our children would come back, sell all their worldly possessions, commit their lives to full time ministry and never bicker again?
Well, that didn’t happen. Nope, not even one of those things occurred, but His plan is bigger than ours, and I know the seeds planted in the country village side of Guatemala will come to fruition in His timing.
Well, that kind of sums up our 2011 in nutshell. Besides the new batch of puppies, football, basketball, golf, praise team, blogging, extended family time, and the continual bedlam moments that our family shares, it’s been quite uneventful.
So as I pause, amidst my “uneventful” bedlam moments, what I really want to remember is Christ in the every day wonder of this Christmas season.
I remember Him when precious prayers stir my heart from the innocence of our youngest. I remember Him when I’m folding laundry and gratitude stirs for the dryer that eased my work load. I remember Him as I stub my toe, lose my patience, and recall this agony as nothing.
I remember Him for the sacrifice of what this season cost.
Merry Christmas, from our home to yours,
Jen Schmidt (just a messy Child of God trying to balance beauty and bedlam in her chaotic world)
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This is so perfect! The whole painting ourselves in the best light possible is so so easy to do with pen and paper. (or keyboard and screen) I love your honesty.
I really needed to read this. Although I express my gratitude throughout the day I seem to feel like I’m never doing enough to serve God. there is so much to do and not enough time. Thank you for making me realize that my love for God and my appreciation for all that he has done for me is okay. Progress…not perfection…one step at a time. Thank you!
“Progress…not perfection…one step at a time.”
Amen, sweet Rita.
Thank you!
I enjoyed your letter, Jennifer. It’s oftentimes, depressing to get the “brag” letter. I have a friend who writes pages full of all the wonderful things happening in her family’s life. Some of it sounds too good to be true!
I usually set it down and wonder….”What’s wrong with me?”
Epic fail! 🙁
I’m just trying to follow Him….live a righteous life and raise someone’s husband & wives. I can’t focus on everything being perfect for a Christmas letter. Real stuff happens (I’m being refined like gold…).
It’s great to see some real life. 🙂
WOW, thank you, thank you. Your letter made me cry with “joy” cause its my life. I am not alone. Thank you for being real and writing a real Christmas letter.
You inspire me to keep God in my life and to keep going on my journey. Merry Christmas! 😉
You are so welcome, and no, you are definitely not alone. We are all on this journey together. 🙂
Jennifer,
Loved the openness/honesty of your letter. This is a perfect place to let it all out & tell other women what struggles we’ve had and how we handled them.
It can be hard at times to balance work, family, aging parents and remember Christ in it all. We need to be “real women of Christianity”. Life happens and God is refining us constantly.
Great to talk about real life issues and not have everything neatly perfect!
You are so welcome. Yes, this is one momma that is truly being refined – the good, bad and ugly. 😉
I wish everyone’s Christmas letters were like this. As believers, I wish we could just be real with each other instead of wearing our Sunday masks. Thanks for this – it was such an encouragement to my heart this morning as I face a whirlwind day of responsibilities. I’ll be praying that your family has a very merry Christmas. 🙂
Praying that your whirlwind of responsibilities will slowly wind down and you can rest…in Him.
Tears were brimming, as I read this. Thank you for your transparency and your humility. You have blessed this mama this Friday!
I am so thrilled the Lord used these few words to bless you. Sometimes it’s just knowing that we’re being refined in the process.
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Your family sounds like the ultimate joy despite the heavy load of dishes to create and then wash. I hope 2012 will be a time of utter dependence on the Lord’s resources and give you grace and mercy as you deal with all your kids. Thank you for showing me how you can create a meaningful dialog with your children as well as realize they will find their way as they trust in the Lord.
You are so welcome. And yes, I am all about the open dialogue with our kids. Tiring, sometimes heart wrenching, sometimes over-bounding with joy, as mammas, we surely get it all.
Awesome authenticity Jennifer 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
From another mess of a Mom, I. LOVE. THIS.
Us messies will band together. 🙂
You are a courageous wise hearted woman Jen to put aside the pat Christmas family letter and send the one I just read. I am sure God will use those who receive it as a tool to stir their hearts toward being a little more real….God has certainly used it in my heart. Thank you. Merry Christmas
What a beautifully authentic letter. It is sometimes so difficult to receive those letters where everything seems . Thank you for being open and honest and sharing the message that everyone needs to hear.
He is There
When i need a word of comfort
When I struggle beneath a burden
When the blue skies turn to gray
And I cannot find my way,at the closing of the day
When i cannot f ace tomorrow
When my life is filled with sorrow
When i I dread the coming dawn,and it seems I can’t go on
A parkinsonian
I wonder too how people are really doing when I get Christmas cards. Enjoyed your letter.
I love what you said about your 12yr old. I am that child (well, maybe not the DREAM child but I was “good”) and I still struggle so much to realize I am loved regardless of performance. Grace with ourselves, even when we don’t demand it from others, is a hard thing to learn. I am learning but you’ve inspired me to begin praying this for my perfectionist son so that maybe he learns how to live in grace much younger than his mamma.
And thank you for being real!
Jen, your honesty always blesses and encourages me. Thanks for sharing this letter. I really, really was challenged by your comment, “if He states that my worst mistake was caring too much about the core character and heart attitude of our children, then I’ll take it, but I doubt it will happen.” I want to care for my children like that…but so often I fail and am too selfish to take the time to really LISTEN. Thank God for grace and forgiveness!
May you and your beautiful family have a lovely Christmas!
Thanks so much for sharing your life (in)courage..
Very sweet Jen! So thankful for His unconditional love.
Blessings,
Cyndi
I love your real life Christmas letter!
Merry Christmas to you, BTW! 🙂
LOVE this Jen!! I’m so with you on the longing for more time to be the wife, mom and friend my heart desires. It makes me feel better to know you are right there too – thanks for being real and sharing your beautiful heart with us!
I so appreciate your postings/-they are real, honest, and remind me of the simPle things in life for which to be thankful. Merry Christmas! (Now I’m going to go gratefully fold a pile of laundry in my dryer.) 🙂
I just want you to know how much I enjoy your e-newsletters. As a mother of five and grandmother of five with my sixth grandchild due in February, your article/stories truly touch my heart. Ina world where violence, corruption and greed seem to be the norm and what is continually highlighted on TV and the news your newsletters are truly a joy and comfort.
May God bless and continue to bless you and your family.
Merry Christmas…..