Last night ended in tears.
Yes, many an evening has had me in tears…tears of frustration, tears of pain, or tears of sheer exhaustion. These weren’t the hot tears of anger nor the free flowing tears of sadness. These tears were ones that have dripped into my heart carving out a special spot to always be remembered.
As I lay on the couch in exhaustion, watching TV and reading my emails I became overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed by how completely and utterly I am loved by my Savior. A Savior that has given me His story to tell, something to live for, something to hold on to.
I had the opportunity to share with the women from my church this past weekend something that I never thought I had until recently, a testimony. As I stood in front of eighty women and my pastor my hands shook so badly that scrolling down the screen of my iPad as I read my notes was nearly impossible.
I stood there in all of my weakness giving them the only thing that I had to give…His strength.
Why me? What does this broken mom of four have to give? Don’t they know that I sometimes yell at my kids? Don’t they know that I doubt? Don’t they know how prideful I can be?
During some very dark years of trials and depression my sweet, sweet friend would counsel me with these words, “Kimm, some day you are going to have a testimony that you will be able to share with other women that points them to Christ.” There were days, when I didn’t understand what God was doing, that I clung to these words. Days that I thought would consume me but they never did.
So as you can imagine, standing in front of these women and giving them Christ was an amazing experience for me. In the midst of my shaking hands and my choked up voice He spoke His love to me in a powerful and consuming way. It was a confirmation of a promise.
A promise that “He would never leave me or forsake me.”
A promise that “All things work together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.”
A promise that “I would not be consumed.”
And a promise that remains in the scars that I will marvel at when I am in heaven.
My friends, there is tough stuff in this life, challenges that seem too difficult to bear. If I can say one thing to encourage you it is to remind yourself daily of the promises that are wrapped up in those nailed scarred hands. The promises that comfort from the ever sustaining word. He is writing His story for you in the midst of your trials.
Stories of His faithfulness to you.
Stories of His relentless pursuit of His beloved bride.
Stories that will become your testimony to His goodness.
The story He has woven for me is a gift that only He can give. A story that I can reflect on and praise Him for His kindness to me. A story that overwhelms me with His love for me. And as life moves forward He will continue to shape it into what He wants it to be for me.
It’s His story.
By Kimm Crandall @ Christ in the Chaos
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