“Regardless of the outcome, my current attitude isn’t doing any good,” I commented, laughing at the truth of that statement. The funk that had clouded the recent past was not helping the situation. The kicker was, the situation was the same situation as it had been for quite a while. It was just the funky attitude that had reared its ugly head–again.
The high-achieving, high-performing aspect of my personality leaves quite a bit of room for self-reliance. And we all know where that leads–no place good.
The hope of a possible change shed light on the grumpy areas of the current situation. But rather than focus on the God-desired outcomes for the potential future, I started to pick apart the current reality.
Funky attitude + self-reliance + critical eye = no place good.
I like the logic of math, and this math is rather ugly. Payoffs for long days of hard work give opportunity to praise God. Layers and layers of payoffs for that work led to the ugly reality that I am not so humble.
So here He and I are–again. Looking at the payoffs. Taking a breath. Getting over myself. And finally seeing the Light, the miraculous timing of all the pieces that had to come into place at the exact moments so that the accomplishments could be possible. The many players involved in the work from a number of areas, who were all primed for the change that led to the outcomes that brought the payoffs. I was not the magic. I just got to be part of it.
It would behoove me to stand here awhile–and admire His work–humbled at the thought that He would allow me to take part.
An amazing thing happens from this locale: the funky attitude dissipates, the gratitude for God’s provision pours forth unhindered, and contentment reigns in my soul where, minutes before, there was agitation.
I like that He is willing to stand here with me–again. I like that He is never done teaching me–even when I am tired of learning. And I like the peace in my heart when I step back and recognize His hand throughout the process.
Here we are–again–marveling at His glory. I like it here.
By Jennifer Cook, from groundswell ministriesLeave a Comment