We were sitting in our small group Sunday night. I love our small group, and not just because my husband and I lead it. In fact, that’s probably the least wonderful thing about it.
Small groups just have a sweetness about them. An intimacy. You can get real in a way that isn’t possible in more crowded settings. I hope all of you have a community where you can let your guard down.
Our small group is a place of comfort and camaraderie. A place of encouragement where I discover week after week, “Whew, thank you Lord that I am not alone.”
Every week we talk and pray and talk some more about our journey, in life and faith. For all of us that journey includes navigating the often confusing and wearying world of raising children.
There’s not many areas where I feel less competent. The demands can be so overwhelming and the question is plaguing: “Am I doing this right?”
I mean you only get one shot. To pour into your kids all the things that matter and somehow not freak out over the many little things that don’t. I tend to be the one that gets lost on the little things. Is it just me?
But our dear friend said something as we discussed this monumental task of bringing up the next generation. It was powerful and made me stop, several times, in the days since and really think. Reevaluate. He said,
I just try to show mercy. I know for me, I beg for mercy and I’m always so happy to get it. I want them to know mercy, too.
I can honestly say I’ve never considered the concept of mercy with my children. I tend to be more consumed with setting the standard, expecting compliance and just responses for disobedience.
I don’t think that’s entirely wrong. Our children need discipline. It’s a vital part of raising them well to teach them right, wrong and consequences. I believe that children need boundaries and consistency and someone to tell them “no” sometimes.
But, what about the opportunities to show mercy? To lavish on them a wholly undeserved second chance? To remind them that perfect love is never based on performance? How often do I do that?
Not often enough.
But this is a journey. And there’s room to make adjustments. Now, my eyes have been opened to look for those opportunities. And I’m excited to include another dimension in parenting that will give them a fuller picture of the Father’s lavish heart of mercy toward all of us.
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. {Psalm 103:8-11}
By Kathryn, Our tiny BIG Life
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It’s interesting to read this, because I just tried to encourage a friend how “God’s mercies are new every morning” and how we need to be reminded how we need God to renew our minds, be forgiving, and also give that mercy. It was not quite with children . . . but a great reminder even with our children. Thanks for sharing. Something God must be poking me for! 🙂
My husband and I are in a small church group also ( I also lead…another similarity!) It really is a wonderful place to be on Mondays night. We truly have a become a family.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts on grace. As the mom of 3 teens is something I need to to remember to show…in abundence! 🙂 I agree with you about discipline, yet I know that mercy can be so powerful and loving. A great gift for them to experience and a wonderful way for them to begin to understand God’s mercy which is even greater!!
Thank you for sharing this.
I love this post! It’s so hard, getting lost in the day to day little things, that we lose sight of what our purpose is – to prepare them to be God’s children on their own.
Thank you for the reminder!
Great post, Kathryn. Why is it easier to get bogged down in teaching them “to straighten up and fly right” rather than remember mercy? Thank you for reminding me to live it and show it to my babes.
This is very good, Kathryn!
Definitely something the Lord has been teaching me as well. We’ve been seeking opportunities with our kids to display God’s mercy and grace. Such as…. right before a consequence “should” be carried out (normally would be carried out). We stop (mid tears and all), soften and say- Today You get Grace! This is often followed by… “What? Why?” With hearts fully open to receive- we tell our girls about God’s mercy and grace for all of us. “And TODAY- you get some- no consequene!” It has been really amazing to watch them learn and receive something “they don’t deserve” and then pour it out onto others.
Well done, friend!!
I haven’t read it yet, but am planning too, but the book Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick touches a lot on mercy and grace as our Heavenly Father shows us. I taught my daughter the other day about Grace and Mercy while she was deserving of discipline, instead I gave her mercy. Then I showed her grace by not only not giving her discipline, but giving her a cookie instead. What a picture of what God has done for us in Christ, sparing us eternity in hell (which would totally be enough) but then gracing us with eternity in heaven with Him!
[…] Mercy Parenting — An eye-opening post for me at (in)Courage, thanks to Kathryn. I am so thankful I read this… I want this to be my parenting motto. […]