This is a question that I hear no less than one-million-gazillion times a day, give or take a few.
Right now? This very instant? It’s 8 o’clock in. the. morning. My coffee is still hot and I’ve got e-mails to check. Lists to make. Laundry to fold. Dishes to do. Play?
His brown beauties long at me. (Blink. Blink.)
“Play with me?”
It gets me every time. How can I refuse his sweet face?
I rouse, leaving the table and those details that will always be, and play with the one who will not.
“You hide. I’ll seek. 1, 2, 3……”
I race to find a decent hiding place before my speed-counting munchkin reaches 10. Quietly, I pull back the shower curtain and step in without a sound.
In the darkness, I hide.
“Mom? Mom? Where are you?”
As I stood there, fully clothed behind that shower curtain, I realized that this was not just a game of child’s play. It was much more than that.
For I knew who was really calling out my name.
The One who is seeking me, always searching, always longing for me. Heard in the voice of a four year-old.
And here I was.
In the dark.
I thought about how often I find myself like this. Ashamed of how often I fail on this journey of faith—lack of patience and compassion, self-centeredness, jealousy, resentment, the list could go on…
I cower. And hide.
What good am I? How could God want me?
And yet still, out of God’s extravagant love and compassion, God comes. Seeking until He finds. Because it is not about me. It’s not about what I do or don’t do.
Because just as I can’t earn God’s love, I can’t stop it either.
The lights flick on. Little fingers wrap themselves around the curtain and pull it open. Brown beauties as big as saucers light up with sheer delight. Pure joy abounds.
“Found you!” as he reaches in for a bear-hug. Arms wrapped tight in love.
Yes, and yes. Love finds. You ripped back the curtain and found me.
Thank you God for finding me.
For always finding me.
By: Rachel Gerber, Everything BelongsLeave a Comment