It’s just before the event, which several of us are diligently and prayerfully working on, and I anticipate all He is going to do and I am in awe of His glory. I’m in awe of how the process is unfolding, how my faith is being strengthened, how He is proving faithful and I don’t need to see the outcome to know He is up to something big.
I close my eyes and begin to imagine.
My thoughts, for a moment, take me beyond the event to another area of my life I feel God working in and the anticipation, in that too, is overwhelming.
“Lord if you show me any more of your glory, I may just fall prostrate before you!”
That feeling…that overwhelming feeling of all that He is and is capable of doing in and through me has a history of causing me to withdraw. It’s too much…what? I don’t know. Just, too much.
Could it be fear? Fear that I will have to give up too much to withstand the next call? This present experience is amazing, yet surely anything more He asks of me will put me way out of my comfort zone.
Or is it doubt? Do I doubt that He would use me for any more of His glory? Would that be too much for this small girl? Am I worthy?
Might it be pride? Somewhere deep within do I believe my way is better, more palatable? That the filling of the Holy Spirit might be too much for the taste? Do I feel satisfied with self?
The other day my son, Drew (2 1/2), runs to hide from me. As I approach, he skids to the nearest chair, throws himself down to the floor, plants his face in the carpet, and submerges one arm as far as it will go under the chair. I can see him. Yet, somehow he believes that his escape is successful. Since he can’t see me, I must not be able to see him.
It begs the question, what will happen so terrible that I, like my son, would resort to running and hiding my face in hopes I am not be seen?
I begin to envision what might happen if I do not withdraw; if I do not run from His presence. If instead I race toward Him, skid at His feet, and throw myself down before Him, face planted – not to hide, but to seek.
What would happen?
I would surrender to the call. I would say yes. I would go. I would take His refined touch in me and I would not look back. I wouldn’t recall that doubt that holds me back. I wouldn’t give voice to the fear. And His work would multiply in and through me.
I imagine peace, joy and rest.
I imagine this through the challenges, through the discomforts, through the doubt. Even the pain. Even the suffering.
Whose pain? Whose suffering?
My eyes begin to open.
It’s not about me.
I throw myself before Him in all of my unworthiness because He tells me His grace is sufficient. He tells me His power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9) And I whisper the words that are required to, once again, leave the old behind so that the new may come.
“Yes, Lord. Send me.”
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” Isaiah 6:8
By Theresa Miller, Heavenly Glimpses
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Amy Hunt says
This is a message from your heart that I find so beautiful. It’s where I have been learning to trust my Father – obeying His call for me, responding to His invitations, and seeking out His glory (chasing after grace). Once I get even a smidge of a taste of His glory I am in awe, and then in fear – and without realizing it, I question Him and my place, though I know His love is so much bigger. The questions you’ve asked have been mine, too. And He allows them, and it can be what draws us ever so closely when He bends down to our level and invites us on His lap to tell us of just how much purpose He has for it all, and where our story collides with His – and how those stories are just His to begin with.
Rich blessings, Theresa, as He covers your passions with grace and love, and you receive…
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Amy, thank you so much for your comment and kind words! I hear you. What we know and what we do don’t always line up. It’s a heart check. I’m so grateful that we have a loving and relentless God, who gently pursues. What a beautiful picture you draw with your words, “when He bends down to our level and invites us on His lap…”
What an amazing God we have! Oh, how I pray my answer is always, “yes.” Rich blessings to you, Amy!
Holley Gerth says
Thanks for the beautiful challenge to keep moving into all He has for us! Praying for your God-sized dreams (and mine too)!
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Thank you for your encouragement, Holly! I just love how your post speaks so beautifully to this. You are a blessing!
Jennifer says
Beautiful words Theresa! Not to hide, but to seek. YES! I love how you said His work would multiply in and through us. What an amazing and awesome thought! 🙂
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Thank you, Jennifer! I appreciate your encouragement!
Laura says
What great perspective. Thanks for sharing.
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Laura, thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate it!
Amy Hunt says
“Oh, you have just the sweetest, most beautiful heart, daughter.” That’s what I heard Him say for you, dear Theresa. Blessings…
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Thank you. Thank you so much for that.
Teri @ StumblingAroundInTheLight says
Wonderful, life-giving perspective. Challenges me to press beyond the fears…
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Yes, so worth it! He is faithful. Thank you for your encouraging comment!
Jen says
So glad that this day fell on a Soli Deo Gloria day so we could all come and encourage you here! Yipee!
Oh, the call…can I say yes? Can I say, “Send me!”? Can I believe that He who planted the seed will continue the work unto completion?
Oh, yes. He is faithful. And true. And grace-filled. All of these things make it a bit easier to say “Yes.”
Theresa@HeavenlyGlimpses says
Thanks, Jennifer. It *was* pretty good timing!
Yes, they are His seeds and He is so faithful! I’m loving this journey into a bolder, deeper faith. Thank you for coming along and encouraging me here!
Amy Sullivan says
Theresa,
So fun seeing you here!
Oh, I can relate to Drew so easily. Running and sliding and hiding. . .please God, don’t see me, pick someone else.
Here’s to pushing forward in His plan, even when we want to hide under the coach.
Theresa@HeavenlyGlimpses says
Thank you so much for coming by, Amy!
It was quite a humorous picture when Drew ran for cover, yet fully exposed. His dad and I couldn’t help but smile. I’m sure God graciously smiles as he shakes his head over me sometimes. Lovingly pursuing all the while.
Blessings!
imperfect prose says
oh theresa, i love this… this makes me wonder if part of what you were experiencing was holy fear? to stand before him, without withdrawing, is an awesome thing… but to bow low for the glory before us, also good… bless you. xo
Theresa@HeavenlyGlimpses says
Awe, yes. Humility before Him. Less of me and more of Him. Thank you for that angle. It definitely resonates! Blessings to you!
Kristin says
I can so relate. When God spoke to me to go to the homeless, I wanted to slide under the chair and hide, but you cannot hide from Him! I finally said yes, and oh my, what a blessing indeed. Do we think he will send us somewhere, where there would be no blessing? If we take ourselves out and realize it’s not about me but about Him and His glory to shine, and that it can through us, why would we ever say no? I hope I will always be able to say, ” Yes Lord, send me.”
Your post has been a blessing to me tonight, thank you! 🙂
Theresa@HeavenlyGlimpses says
Kristen, oops! I commented instead of replying. I hope you see that comment. Thank you so much for your encouragement!
Theresa@HeavenlyGlimpses says
Yes, Kristin, there is always a blessing – bigger than we can imagine. It doesn’t always make it easy, but always a blessing in the follow-through. Thank you so much for your encouragement to me here!
Connie@raise your eyes says
So wise you are to allow GOD to get at the root of hesitancy.
“And I whisper the words that are required to, once again, leave the old behind so that the new may come.”…ah yes…and we’re in good company with Isaiah. I’m so thankful GOD included his experience for us to learn from.
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Yes, I’m so thankful for His examples and just allowing me to see beyond the hesitancy – just another way He gets through in his gentle, but relentless pursuits.
May you be blessed today, Connie! Thank you for your encouragement here!
Heart n Soul says
Love that thought that his grace is sufficient. Beautiful.
Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses says
Thank you. He reminds me of that often.
Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving encouraging words! Blessings to you!
Pamela says
“I would take His refined touch in me.” Love that. Such a deep desire of mine–to hold nothing back–or as you said, look back– in answer to His call.
Theresa@HeavenlyGlimpses says
Yes! If we will just go where He leads, it changes us. Although fear and doubt will always creep in, we’re changed when our answer is yes.
Thank you, Pamela, for your encouragement to me here!
The Weekly Round-Up May 13th | Dannie Speaks says
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