I am His beloved
About the Author

My given name is Julie Busby but to Jesus I am His beloved. I am on a journey to discover His true heart of love and grace. I am fought for, accepted and loved beyond measure- and so are YOU!

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things we love
& you will too!
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  1. ohhhh how you speak to my heart here at (in) courage. This is the 2nd post I can clearly recall hitting me right between the eyes in as many months.

    I don’t think i have painted myself gray, I have erased myself. And hidden myself. And demeaned these colors and contrasts and mismatched non-patterns. A large part of me has truly believed that ‘my crazy’ is too crazy for any decent man to handle, because who would sign up to live with this kind of crazy forever, I barely want to do it! So if he were interested, then what is wrong with him? And I have convinced myself that I need to be less, that I need to be average, that I need to be sane and rational and logical and rarely emotional. But my deepest heart is none of those things. And, as you say, “Jesus knows the truth of you- and it dazzles Him.”

    Thank you for this reminder today.

    • Beautiful LaughingMouse said, ” A large part of me has truly believed that ‘my crazy’ is too crazy for any decent man to handle…”
      Oh sweet girl, how I hear your words and your heart. How often have I pushed people that I love away for fear they would see the “real” me and run because my heart believes I’m crazy.
      I pray right now Dear Jesus that you would answer the question of Laughing Mouse’s heart – I pray Jesus that you would speak your Truth and tell her your thoughts for her. Jesus you lovingly created her, she is fearfully and wonderfully made- rain down grace over her precious heart and send a Tsunami of love to cover her. Only YOUR truth answers the true question to our worth. We love you Jesus.”
      Laughing Mouse- much love to you dear friend. I hear you and I thank you for your words- they are a gift.

  2. I so much appreciate this post! I love it! God has been calling me to step out in my radiant and bold colors during the past few years and {whew!} it feels so refreshing, and so freeing! Truly! I get wrapped up in the *should’s* sometimes (okay, often) and start to shirk back – wearing myself more “conservative colors.” But always – always He rescues me and brings me back to who He has me to be right now – bold magenta! Look-at-me colors that smiles and warm others with encouragement. It’s shocking to think I “dazzle” anyone – no less my Father – and though I often doubt, I’ll choose to trust.

    Rich blessings as you live out-loud for Him, Julie…

  3. Wow Amy! It is a journey, not an overnight thing I am finding, how about you? There are days when I boldly walk out in who Jesus created me to be and other days I cower and fear. Slowly as I walk out in HIS truth for me I am showing my colors more and more, and walking in wonderful freedom.
    YES!- you hit it- ” I often doubt, I’ll choose to trust. ”
    Beautiful friend! Thank you!

    • Oh yes, a process, definitely! And I think it’s the Enemy who tries to get us to question the confidence in Him – the walking boldly – and gets us questioning if it’s really how we should be…and so we cower. Definitely a Battlefield each day. And holding the course with Him is our only way.

  4. Wow…this post was just what was ordained for today! I was in a relationship recently where is was expected of me to be “grey”. I couldn’t be too happy (I was boasting) or too sad (I was not trusting God) and since it has ended I have been trying to find my true colors. I loved so deeply that I forgot to love me.

    All my life (45 yrs) I have molded myself into what everyone else that I should be….the color they thought I should be. So now, I am working on finding out the only true person I should be, the one that God wants me to be.

    I wonder what color God sees me as?

  5. Sonya,
    Wow. Incredible thoughts here friend. I am learning that people who are coming out of abusive/ lack of boundaries relationships or legalistic/cult like churches ( Which I am slowly detoxing from) you walk out asking yourself, ” Who am I? and What does the real ME that Jesus made look like?” It can be a long journey for those who were voiceless, colorless, lifeless for many years.
    I pray dearest beloved Sonya that you ask Jesus that question and He answers the deepest part of your heart. ( Remember His Words are never condemning, always full of love and grace)
    Love you much!

  6. My status updates are carefully crafted to not be too dark, always positive,
    perfectly gracious and manicured.
    But I don’t mean to write that. I just only write updates when the spirit moves my heart, full of love, to tell my people the happy story or the where we are this season (except when we were in a wildfire, safe in a gym, wondering if our house would burn and I totally needed to tell them to pray for me right now!).
    Colors, that hit home. I’ve been magenta, pure red (any red), purple/lavendar…and when my mom died I was blue blue blue (her favorite color and I wore her clothes). Now I’m back to loving and wearing red (after 4 years!) and other colors too. Yellow even! Shocks me. And my hair? It’s GRAY! a beautiful soft dove’s wing grey, oh who would have known it would shine? I want to take a picture with my golden hair friends and be “silver and gold” living here in Santa Barbara where fashion is so pervasive I decided “beauty is truth,” and let my truth shine out. Still sometimes I struggle with being bold, speaking out, loving boldly. But God is graciosus. Thank you for this post.

      • Oh, thanks for responding. It’s from Keats, “Ode on a Grecian Urn” and goes Truth is beauty, beauty is truth: that is all you know on earth and all you need to know. It’s sort of confusing and we sit around in classrooms arguing how true the statement is, but at the moment of my rebellion against hair coloring I claimed it as something God could do, make my true hair color be beautiful (not that I don’t love your pink in the thumbnail, don’t get me wrong!)
        After writing this we went to the Chinese church in town (I’ve been married for 22 years to an American born Chinese man) because my daughter wanted to, and I sat there feeling at home (which I don’t always, because of other features than my hair) and God gently reminded me how he’s gifted me with something special for Chinese people (I can’t really define it) and then as we sat at lunch and the lady across from me opened her heart to me, he just smilingly confirmed it. What color is that? (Oh, Hopkins: Like shining from shook foil from “God’s Grandeur”)
        You bring out the lit major in me!
        Bless you, Beloved!

        • Your lips just pour out beauty and life and color! Isn’t it wonderful when Jesus smiles on us and reminds us how much He adores us when we walk in His gifts and color?
          You are just wonderful!

  7. This really spoke to my heart. I am not sure what colors I am. Funny, I am an up and coming artist but even when I paint, I have trouble experimenting with color. I know there is so much depth to myself that has yet to be revealed.

    • Barbie,
      I am intrigued with the fact that you are an artist. I know writers get writers block, do artists get color blocks?
      I used to teach a college creative writing class and when my students got “stuck” I would have them “free write” – a process where they just put their pen to paper and wrote whatever first came to mind. They did this non stop with their pen never leaving the paper for 3 minutes. I wonder if you could take this concept and adapt it to your painting? Just paint whatever colors and lines, splashes that move you with no worry for form or function?
      I would love to see what is revealed…

  8. Wow! This is just beautiful! I so need to remind myself that everything God created is beautiful….including me. No more grey!

  9. Perfect!
    “My status updates are carefully crafted to not be too dark, always positive,
    perfectly gracious and manicured.” Yep. I hear ya.
    BTW, my color is red, but then again, these days mostly aqua…or so I think. Bottom line is that I am everything Christ is. I am every color He is.
    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    Much love!

    • Marcia,
      Red is my favorite color! Passionate, strong- the color of love. Not a safe color- but love is never safe!
      Love your spunk!
      Much love back at you!

  10. This was such a great reminder, and something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately…. How beautiful is your heart, for sharing this with us!! Many blessings, sister.

  11. I should probably read this every single day from now until it REALLY sinks in! SOOOO tired of being gray.

  12. I’m like LaughingMouse, I’ve erased myself. I don’t have a clue what color I am — so loved this and thought provoking, rather prayer provoking. Thank you, thank you.

  13. Thanks for this loved it…inspired me to write…often I feel grey or no color…being in a wheelchair….I always hear in not so many words that my dreams cost others too much and this or that is never possible…leaving me washed out with no color

    • Dancin Butterly-
      I simply ADORE your name! Though you may not be able to walk with legs, your heart can soar in all the beauty that Jesus made you in. Fly above all the grey and burst into all the color you are! Shine for Jesus lovely girl!

  14. Grey is safe. Grey is comfortable. but grey is not who I am.

    Thanks for this reminder. I am a daughter of God, and He didn’t create me grey. Why do I want to be, try to be grey, when that isn’t who I was meant to be? Oh, this is not comfortable to think about, is it? Thanks for the thought-provoking words.

    • Cheri- you are dead on.
      Grey is comfortable. Walking out in all your color- down right scary.
      If you walk out in all your color you could be rejected. No one wants rejection- in fact it is MY biggest fear.
      Thanks for provoking ME to think dear Cheri! Much love to you!