Soul’s Winter

For weeks I bemoaned winter.

I had grown weary of the cold, of the sick kids, of the just plain crazy that comes from being stuck inside all day long. I longed to see a speck of green. Get out, winter! You are no longer welcome.

And, then, the other day, I was standing in my closet trying to decide what to wear. My eyes landed on a spring shirt. All of a sudden my stomach knotted up a bit. Now that spring has arrived, I won’t be able to wear a fleece pullover or sweater everyday. I can’t wear a scarf on a day I don’t particularly care for my neck. Now, I’ll have to wear short sleeves. And Capri pants. And even shorts. My pale skin will be out there for the world to see.

I’ll be exposed.

All of a sudden, I wasn’t in such a rush for a new season. And then I stopped short. How many times have I chosen to stay in the winter of my soul because I’m too afraid of what lies beneath the layers?

None of us readily admits that we like those dark times in our life. But for me, if I’m really honest, there is something comforting about wrapping up in layer after sinful layer; making up excuses and allowing myself to stay there; because I’m afraid to be exposed.

I am in a season of shedding my layers. And lest it sound like something I am doing, don’t be fooled. God has cut deeply into each layer, and peeled it back. Just when I think we’ve reached the end of the layers, another cut is made.

You just don’t realize how dark the winter has been until you see it in the light of spring.

It’s God’s story over and over: new from old; beauty from ashes; life from death. Spring from Winter. I’m standing in Spring’s light, pale and exposed. But just as the sun will kiss my winter white skin, the Father is shining Light on my soul. There’s just a hint of glow where all that darkness used to be.

By: Kelly H.