As I sit here to write this, my body is worn out and my mind is fried. It is the first time I have sat down all day. I was up at 4am getting my husband out the door for work, getting myself ready, doing my daily devotions, then the kids were up and I have been cooking (three meals and a nice dessert mind you), teaching, cleaning and play referee since. My daughter complained about my dinner (she is picky and complains about anything that is not pasta). My son spilled tea on the counter top I had just washed. The piles of laundry I lovingly folded were tossed into the drawers and now will need ironed. The blankets I just folded and put away are already all over the living room (even though the house is quite warm today!). And let me tell you this is a typical day. But today I feel drained. I feel tired. I feel over worked. And I feel very much under appreciated. After cleaning up the dinner mess, I was very tempted to go into my bedroom, lock the door and have myself a good ole pity party until I fell asleep.
So why did I feel so under appreciate today? Because I was being selfish and wanted my family to notice all I did and say thanks. I did get some thank yous for the chocolate cake of course and even one or two for dinner. But it wasn’t enough, I wanted more. I should have been doing these things as I was doing them for God and it wouldn’t have mattered what anyone else said or did. Now don’t get me wrong, it is not wrong to want a thank you once in a while. And we, of course, should always appreciate and thank others. But if we are only doing things for others approval, we will never be fully satisfied.
Everything you do, do it for God. Do it with a joyful heart. As much as we love our family’s approval and appreciation, we should desire God’s more.
By: Jenifer – Sharing encouragement with Sweet Blessings
I am tested in this – constantly! It’s such truth and is so necessary for so many of us to be reminded of, moment-by-moment! Your honesty reminds me that I’m not alone in my struggle and in my five-year-old pity-parties, and in how my Father wants to pull me out from under the covers and have me honor Him.
Expecting recognition is not selfishness. I refuse to believe that my family cannot and should not show some courtesy and respect. Believing that you are folding laundry for God is a fairly Martha way to view the world. It’s okay to be frustrated by the idea that your work is never done and never appreciated. That work, no matter how incomplete or quickly done still blesses others. There’s no need to denigrate yourself as selfish for wanting a thank you or a hug or at least a little help.
Melinda, thank you for your comment. It is okay to want a thank you or a hug. It is even okay to want and ask for help. However, if we are only doing things to be appreciated and fulfilled, we will never be fully satisfied. God is the only one that can fulfill us. Others will at times let us down. Even when they are being grateful, they can not fully satisfy us in the way God does. Blessings.
Thank you for sharing this. I can’t imagine anyone in all the world needing to ‘hear’ this more than myself (for the last several weeks!). It only serves to remind me of just how faithful He is & how mindful he is of (exactly) what I need. Thanks again!
“Everything you do, do it for God.”
I’ve heard this many times, but sometimes I still need to be reminded.
Especially as a busy homeschooling momma.
Praying that I will know that God always sees me and loves me and whispers encouragement when I allow myself time to listen.
Taking this with me today. . . remembering to do it all for God alone.
Perspective changes everything.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am like this all the time and need to be reminded that God gets the praise – not me! I pray He will help us all to remember that as we work to honor Him by raising Him up to our families.
Your post sound just like me some times, especially at work. I feel very underappreciated & must tell myself constantly that God is watching & cares how I work & what I do.
Thank you for the reminder! God bless you for what ALL you do for your family!
It is important to keep our eyes on Jesus. We can turn all our work into praise by thanking God for all the many blessings He has given us – a house to clean, clothes to wash, food to prepare. I think it’s ok to expect our families to be appreciative, but human praise will fade. Only that what’s done for God will last.
I so needed this post today. Thank you, and thank God for sending me the right message at the right time.
I sooo needed this today! How nice to know others feel the same way I do at times… and struggle with the same issues as a wife and mother.
Am going to try my best to remember that I am doing this for the LORD not for anyone else. And that HE sees and HE cares about ALL of it!
Thanks for sharing your heart and thoughts. These posts are always such an encouragement to me! You have no idea how you are being used to bless others! I pray God returns the blessing to you many times over!
This sounds so familiar – every mother feels this way! I think you make an excellent point that it is not wrong to want to be appreciated, but that we will never be fully satisfied if we are only looking to serve other people. True satisfaction comes from serving God. Thank you for this.
Great post Jenifer! People (no matter how gracious they might be) will never live up to our expectations and will at some point disappoint. I think this is because they were never meant to be the “constant” in our life that we are to depend on. The Lord is the only one who can fill this hole in us. Thank you!
What a great reminder! I remember being so frustrated, thinking that no one understood all that I did for them. I remember slamming doors when something did not go my way. That was prior to knowing Christ, really knowing Him.
Now I am not perfect – but growing steadily in not looking to others for my feeling of well-being; instead looking to God and knowing that He is pleased when I do and act for Him.
Thank you,
Blessings to you and your active household,
Jan
Um, yeah.
This would pretty much be why I’m missin’ the joy here.
so.
tired.
So doin & doin & doin for these 7 precious lives, for the 1 amazing husband. But for the Lord? Not so much.
The big question is, can I get it? Can I change? Can I let Him change me?
I think God sees our efforts and does want our families to express appreciation! He wants us to practice a spirit of gratitude. I do not agree that you are bring selfish to hope for a thank you. Neither should your husband and children be allowed to be ungrateful – THAT’S SELFISH! It’s not healthy to become a doormat! I think it would be better to have an honest conversation with your family and raise the bar a bit in practicing appreciation of each other – including YOU! YOU do matter, too!
Maureen, Thank you for your comment! I just want to clarify that my family did thank me that particular day (and they often do as we have taught our children to be grateful) however that day I was seeking fulfillment in my family and not God. No, we should not become a doormat. Yes, we should teach our children to say please and thank you and to help out. But if we only do things to hear those two words (thank you) than we will never be fully satisfied. God is the only one that can fully satisfy us. Blessings.
I am there right now. Except that I did lock myself in my room. I have been working for days on end to build a chicken coup, put in this year’s garden, build a rock garden, and redo the grape arbor—-all while keeping up with my regular chores of cooking and cleaning.
But the more I’d work in the yard, the more the kids would mess up the house (and they’re too old to still be doing that). Then when I turned my attention to the house, the yard would get messy. I threw my hands up in the air and gave up. For an evening, anyway.
And that’s okay, because it gives one time to reflect and remind ourselves what it’s really all about.
Thanks for this timely piece.
This is where I am today and I thank you for sharing this reminder. I am quick to get worked up over all I have to do and how little I get back in return. But God sees it all. Everything I do should be as though it’s a song for him.
Doing it for God not man. What a great message Jennifer. It’s so true that we as moms have an expectation that someone should notice us and praise us for all the hard work we do. We feel almost justified in demanding it too. This is a wonderful message for me right now as 5:00 approaches and I need to start supper! For some weird reason I need an attitude adjustment right around that time!:)
So true- and a great reminder for me today… thanks.
Thank you so much! I need this reminder more than I care to admit!
Blessings to you,
Jennifer
Thank you so much for your post, for pointing me toward the right path. I feel so busted because I was just thinking and feeling the same thing! I’m working so hard at keeping this house running, doing the laundry, fixing delicious meals, etc, and no one noticed my efforts. I crave that appreciation and validation, I yearn for approval. And you are so right, I’ll never get enough to satisfy me that way. Thank you so much for reminding me!
As I’m writing this, my sweetheart mentions what he did around the house today – he felled a huge tree without hitting anything! He’s looking for the same thing I wanted, to be noticed and appreciated. It stings a bit to see that I’m not giving it enough either. Good lesson here too.
Robin, that was such a good point! Even though we now know we can not be truly satisfied with human’s praise and approval, we still need to appreciate and praise those around us as best we can. No we will not fully satisfy them, but we can still offer our appreciation. Blessings!
Thank you for this. I think you’ve touched the heart of many women – including my own – with this post.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Thank you all for your insight as I am also seeking praise from those who cannot give it
I know The Lord sees my deeds and counts it as worthy of praise
What else can we possibly hope for?
They who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Thank you all for your insight as I am also seeking praise from those who cannot give it
I know The Lord sees my deeds and counts it as worthy of praise
What else can we possibly hope for?
Remember God sees all!
They who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Thank you all for your insight as I feel the same
I know The Lord sees my deeds and counts it as worthy of praise
What else can we possibly hope for?
They who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Thank you all for your insight as I feel the same
I know The Lord sees my good deeds daily and I urge all of you to lean on Christ
Sorry it posted too many times
Please forgive
All day long I ponder the wonder of your words. It came to mind: Why does God have every tear we have ever shed in a jar? I think there are many reasons but the biggest reason is that our tears matter to Christ! One passage reveals that Jesus wept In the midst of suffering heartbreak at losing his friend. Furthering the truth in my heart, and in my Bible, that each tear I have ever shed for others is NEVER in vain. Our tears are safely kept, by our Lord, in a jar! how wonderful a thought and scripture that is! I think He uses SOME of. them to rain down love to heal the broken- hearted.
All day long I ponder the wonder of your words. It came to mind: Why does God have every tear we have ever shed in a jar? I think there are many reasons but the biggest reason is that our tears matter to Christ! One passage reveals that Jesus wept In the midst of suffering heartbreak at losing his friend. Furthering the truth in my heart, and in my Bible, that each tear I have ever shed for others is NEVER in vain. Our tears are safely kept, by our Lord, in a jar! how wonderful a thought and scripture that is! It gives strength
I really needed this tonight. This explains how I have been feeling perfectly. And really helped me to feel better and look at it from a different perspective. Thanks!
Mommymoments.org