About the Author

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. She's also wife to Mark, Mom to Lovelle, and Nana to Eula and Clem.

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  1. When my life fell apart about six years ago I had a beautiful, Godly, dear friend who was around the world at that time. She held my heart so gently. She gave me the best advice that anyone ever has… she said, “honey, it’s okay to feel how you feel, it’s okay to be where you are.” She gave me permission to grieve, to be utterly devastated, to fall apart, to be a glorious mess. In allowing me to be myself, God shone through the mess. He somehow in HIS amazing way made beauty from ashes. He molded and shaped me to be more like Him in that devastating valley. Right now I’m in a new place. Life is for the most part great. I’m married to a lovely, gentle, Godly man who loves me so much. He has helped to heal many of those broken places in me. Our hurt and challenge right now is grieving through a miscarried child and some fertility problems. It’s amazing to me how much ache one heart can hold for little people to fill my arms. I’ve been really angry about it lately. Hurting and aching for babies that God isn’t sending. I’m trying to keep taking that hurt to Jesus but sometimes I hold onto it all myself and just fall apart. This too is a journey. Some days I’m doing okay with it and other days I am just a glorious mess. I appreciate your words Holley. I need to buy your book. 🙂

  2. Wonderful post…thanks for the reminder. :). I’ve had many many storms in my life, but I can still feel God’s grace through them usually…it’s the only thing that gets me through. @ Stephanie…may God give you peace that only He can…We lost our first child, but we now have 4 beautiful blessings! I try to remember that our first baby is not lost, but home, and that we hadnto endure that to receive the blessings we do have. I am so blessed to be the mother of four beautiful healthy children now. Keep taking your troubles to Him and you will find peace.

  3. Yes, thank you for this. I have often felt that need to pretend to be happy & fine all the time, I still do, even though I know I don’t HAVE to.

  4. It’s ok to be ok…it’s ok not to be ok…it’s then that we find rest and peace in his arms. I always grow more through the storms in life…..that’s where I tend to seek him the most. While I am learning to be closer tohim and reach out to the arms he has provided physically on earth through friends….I still am afraid to show weakness…but when I do, his power shines….his grace and his glory……(not mine)….but his…..Thank you for this amazing post……it is a great way to start my day!

  5. I am thankful to be soaking wet! Life is much more fun that way…free to play in the rain. Thankful for the reminder not to “fake-it”. With Joy, Carey

  6. Really great post. This is something I am learning slowly. I am the one that is always okay and strong. It is hard to really let those walls down and to not be okay. More prayer. Thank you. xx

  7. Very timely message for me. Sometimes I struggle with my own feelings and put a “happy” front because I feel guilty to show my life struggles. I just keep remembering that God is my true joy and strength as Nehemiah 8:10 says.

  8. Thanks, I’ve been learning that this past year A LOT. That letting others know we are not ok allows God to shine, it gives permission for others to not be ok. Thanks for that reminder this morning.

  9. I just had a conversation with a friend last night. I have been struggling lately with being sad and tire and just plain down. I’ve been jealous and envious of my married friends (literally within a two year period the majority of my friends got married) because they all had what I desired. My parents raised me (or at least TRIED to) be independent and not to rely on anyone and to just “suck it up” if I was sad. It just isn’t in my nature to be that way. God wired me a little more emotional that most. But because of that, it is hard for me to ask for prayer or help. One thing that my friend said to me last night was, “It’s not ok for you to go through this by yourself. Just because I’m busy doesn’t mean I’m too busy to come along side you and pray for you.”

  10. While my expereince did not end in an outpouring of love from everyone, it certainly did help me learn the people who really loved me and had my back. It was a tough realization to discover some people only what to be around you when you are “problem free”. Praise God that He loves us through all our pain and brings precious people into our life to share that love!:)

  11. I loved this the first time I read it, and I needed it again now. I’m starting to have time to ‘feel’ all the craziness my family and I have been through in the last year. I had surgery two months ago to remove a tumor that was found while I was pregnant, there’s a good chance I’m dealing with a genetic disease that will mean more tumors like the one I had removed will grow, and we’re facing down a lot of transition with my husbands career in the Navy. I’m feeling decidedly not ok sometimes. Thank you for giving me permission to be there.

  12. Jen,

    For years I, too struggled with being single and wondering if God had anyone out there for me. One day sitting at my desk at work I said OK God If you want me married, then make it happen. Soon as I turned it over to Him He showed me a wonderful man.

    God has wired me more emotional than most also. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Tell me you’ve got a serious problem or a situation & I’m crying and praying for you.

    I know beyond belief that it is ok to not be “Happy” all the time. Life down here can be troublesome at times.

    I’m praying God will bring the right person into your life & to make you happy once again!

  13. My ex is getting re-married next month…we’ve been divorced about 18 mos. That has started a whole new storm inside me. Thank you for your story and reminder.

  14. it’s such a hard thing for me because there are those who respond with the it’s okay to not be okay but then there are those who just don’t want to deal with the messy…..and those are the ones that just make it hurt more. sigh.
    my storms that still run ragged are those mixed with africa and being single. mmmhmmm.

  15. Right now I’m really feeling the blahs that come with realizing you’re monetarily worthless when it comes to being approved for home loans and wishing I hadn’t gone to college when I did or where I did. Oh well, money isn’t what matters anyway right?

  16. Holley!!! This is SO God repeating Himself…
    He’s been speaking this to me, showing this, repeating this, over & over the past couple of weeks. How desperately I try to hold onto the facade; how gently He pries it away.
    Thanks for being His vessel –
    Teri

  17. I think as Christians we all need to hear what you’re saying. I know I’m most encouraged in my spirit when I’m willing to hold my truth out there and let people see the brokenness and also the way the Lord binds me back up. You made a great point about the messages in churches so often that being right with the Lord looks like a smiley face or abundance we can see with our eyes or perfect health. The truth in the Word is that in this life we WILL have MANY troubles. Jesus himself was in boats going through storms. And He is the One who can calm storms, and He is the One who is with us through the storms God knows we need to endure for His glory. I’m learning so much these days about the gift of the “going through.” Every one of us has trials, and the Lord uses our openness to bless us and others. Thank you for bringing up this really important truth.

  18. I just wanted to thank you for such a beautiful post. I am going to link to it in an upcoming post on the anniversary of a miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy I had.