About the Author

Jessica lives in Seattle with her two girls. She loves her coffee, the beach, and playing with her daughters. Her perfect day involves all three.

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  1. Dear Jessica,
    Thank you so much for this post. I can relate to it in so many ways, but especially the part where you said:
    “I had tried to control my life for so long, I was overcome with a feeling of peace once I realized that God was in control of my future; He had a plan for me. I didn’t have to know what it was, I just had to trust in Him. Now, this was hard for me. It’s one thing to read about it, to write it, to say it. But to truly put my life and trust there, and believe it… didn’t come easy. Sometimes it still doesn’t. But I am learning, I am trying. I am finding my way.”
    That seems to be where I am stuck too. For whatever reason (fear, I’m sure), I just can’t completely let go of the reins and give my life up to the Lord. I feel like I’m lacking and only halfway there and just can’t get over that hump. It’s made me question my salvation even.
    Thank you for sharing your hope filled story.

    • Amber,

      Sorry to intrude on your post but I have to say that I also am in the same place or at least I was a couple of weeks ago. I wrestled with God for a while. I don’t easily trust and am very much a control person by nature (all organized and rational you know) but I finally got to the place that I wanted what God had to offer for me (my purpose and destiny) more than I wanted to control things. I told God I was afraid (which he already knew) and he still loved me. I finally just surrendered and literally lay down on the floor in surrender to his will and way. What peace I have found. I still have my days but God is helping me understand what she wrote in her post that he has a plan and he is in control. Keep pressing forward. Do not give up. Don’t let the enemy cheat you out of what is rightfully yours.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been struggling for a few years now and have been going through the same thing. I have felt the same way about going to church and I am still looking for the right one. I am amazed at how you described exactly how I am feeling. I truly needed to hear this and I love how the Lord works through others to help us.
    Gratefully yours,
    Stephanie

  3. You have made so many good points in this post. It is good to understand what someone feels like who has never attended church. I hope you don’t mind but I sent that paragraph to my minister. We often forget what a “newbie” feels like and that’s why the best evangelism is to bring a friend. That’s how I came back to church – a friend’s prayer along with her friends’ prayers. Amazing when I think about it.

    Although I have been happily married for almost 40 years, 10 years ago I felt exactly how you did – empty and searching. Finding Jesus was the best – and still is.
    Thanks for the wonderful morning post.

  4. Hi Jessica,
    i am so happy that you have God jn your life! I pray He will continue to be the Star in your family! Thank you for sharing..

    Isaiah 46:4
    4 Even to your old age and gray hairs

    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

    I have made you and I will carry you;

    I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

    Cellina

  5. I almost starting replying after the first paragraph! I wanted to say, “No! Be proud of who you are, for what you are, where you are!”. But I continued to read and found that you did! I’m so happy to hear that. : )

    Life is a journey. This has always been my philosophy of life: “It’s not not about the destination, it’s about enjoying the journey to get there”. Whenever I can, I try to share that with others. Every moment of your life is a stepping stone to another.

    Enjoy!
    donna

  6. Hi Jessica,

    The words you spoke today will be used for another young women – maybe even an older women – to help her see her beauty in Him. It’s so easy to quote verses that we know but until they sink deep into our souls, they’re black and white characters on a page. Your story will help many young mamas through their day today. Thank you for being brave to share your heart. 🙂
    In Him,
    Jan

  7. Dear Jessica,

    Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful heart. I always need His reminder, that I am His, that I am wanted, desired, adored. And it is true! We are loved! 🙂

  8. Oh sister, I feel ya! I am no longer a single parent, but I’ve been there, done that and even though I’ve been in church for 15 years, I still feel overwhelmed by all that I don’t know by not having been raised in Sunday School or in a Christian home. I’m taking it every day, learning what I can, and so grateful for the grace of a good God that cares about our hearts so much more than our hairstyles! 🙂

    Thanks for your honesty, here. You blessed me, today.

  9. This was so encouraging to me. I am having a struggle with trusting God at the moment and being unhappy with where I am – even though I know it’s his will for me to be here. God bless.

  10. I love this…I felt like I was reading my own story. Beautifully written Jessica!!

  11. I too am like you and Amber. I am a new christian and have found a church where I feel comfortable. But I still struggle with letting go and letting God take over. I try but sometimes feel I don’t try hard enough. Thank you for sharing.