The space around me was black, and I tip-toed, feeling my way to the desk in our room. I listened to the sound of my husband’s breathing in the bed a few feet away, and I gingerly cracked open my laptop, knowing how bright this only light in the room would shine.
I felt my way into the chair and relaxed, letting my back and the bottom of my thighs fill the spaces behind and beneath me, and I quietly tapped on the keyboard. It was a little after five a.m., and I savored this moment of alone time, breathing in the stillness around me, focusing my mind on what thoughts could move through my fingertips onto the screen.
And then she cried.
I sighed loudly, disgusted that five a.m. was not early enough to escape interruption, frustrated at my lack of any personal time. I closed my laptop harder than I should and walked out of the bedroom door into her room next to mine.
There she stood crying out ‘Mama’s’ as she held onto the top of her crib, aching for me to pick her up.
“Baby, why are you up so early?” I asked, verbalizing my frustration to the toddler who couldn’t answer. I pulled her onto my shoulder and plopped down onto the rocking chair, gently swaying back and forth. And as I pulled her close to my chest, I felt the heat of fever.
She’s sick. A twinge of guilt hit me as I let out another sigh for the lack of compassion I had had this particular morning. And we rocked together silently, my hand on the small of her back.
In the stillness of the morning, my back and the bottom of my thighs melted into another chair as that little girl melted into me. We swayed back and forth, and gradually my frustration began to release. She had found comfort in me and was quiet against my chest.
And for a moment, I savored this time with my daughter who no longer wanted to rock to sleep at night, only sickness changing her mind. I remembered her days as a newborn when she and I would share every night together in this chair, rocking as she nursed. She would curl into a little ball against my chest, and we would glide as I lightly tapped her back. She would melt into my body, and we would rock, finding quiet before I laid her in her crib.
And an interruption gave us quiet again.
Sometimes I need to be interrupted. I need someone or something to slap me in the face and remind me of what’s important, to force myself to ask why I do those tasks that I do. For it is in those interruptions that I often find Him and His peace.
As she lay asleep on my chest, I continued to sway in the chair, resting my own cheek against hers. I remembered the laptop on the desk in the next room, but I didn’t move. This moment was one that I wasn’t going to interrupt.
Jami R. says
You cannot know how much I needed to read this today. Thank you for your words!
Jennifer says
Jami, I’m glad this post could help. After the night I had with my children last night, I needed this reminder, too! 🙂
Morgan says
This touches my heart for so many reasons, thank you for sharing…
I had the exact same interruption with my soon to be 4 year old… and I held her tight and thanked God for the gift he was graciously giving me. Knowing these moments will not come often and they grow all too quickly… He not only gave me the opportunity to love and comfort my little one, He also gave me eyes to see what a true gift the moment was. In these moments we can choose to fully give back the amazing love and comfort He so lavishly gives us… a true gift.
Sharon@HikingTowardHome says
I needed this reminder. Thank you.
Jennifer says
Thank you for commenting, Sharon. I need to remind myself most days, too!
Jennifer says
Very true, Morgan! I’m working on making the right choice more often!
Kris says
Jennifer, a lovely and true post. I have experienced this exact thing many times between myself and one of my 4 children. The interruptions are frequent, but God reminds me that he makes time, and if I serve him, by serving them, then he will bless me with the time I need, not always the time I want… This was a great reminder for me this morning. Bless you!
Jennifer says
What a great point, Kris–I’m serving Him by serving them. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed, but you’re right; I will have the time I need when I keep my priorities in check.
Michelle Derusha says
Oh I don’t do well with interruption either, Jennifer. But to embrace these moments as they come…that is pure gift. I read a book last year about the Benedictines that said, “God is in the interruptions.” Yes, indeed!
Jennifer says
What is the name of the book? I definitely need to read it!
Anonymous says
“. .And an interruption gave us quiet again.”
I love that. Isn’t it so true that He finds us where we are and uses the small things to help us see He is always there, always in control.
I love the quiet. But I know when my boys are grown and gone I will long for the interruptions. I have faith that God will interrupt my life in that season in a whole new way. I will count on that.
Thanks for this beautiful post. Blessings and love to you.
Danelle Townsend says
Sorry, that “ANONYMOUS” quote was from me. I hit the “submit” button too soon! 🙂
Gaby says
Matt says his job as a pastor is made up of interruptions and it is in the interruptions that he ministers. I thought about the times I’m writing in the morning like you and I hear the door to my kids room open and see my sleepy-eyed daugther padding down the hallway to me. My heart dances every time. I loved your post.
Jennifer says
Oh, Gaby, you are a better mother than I. When my children wake up earlier than they are ‘supposed to,’ I typically think, “Aargh! I just needed five more minutes.’ But I’m working on it, and I’m thankful for the changes He will do in me.
Debbie Grace says
This was beautiful and set the exact right tone for my day. Thank you.
Robin ~ PENSIEVE says
Jennifer, as a mom who’s no longer interrupted like that–my baby is almost 14….–I can tell you, those are HARD days. The demands of babies, toddlers and even elementary age babies are constant and not always convenient. And yet in those times I’m certain God is working on a mama, shaping her and pressing her into the women He knows she’ll become.
I heard and understood your initial frustration; how lovely when that’s redeemed into something beautiful :).
Jennifer says
Thank you for sharing that you could relate to my initial frustration. I am working on enjoying each moment for what it is–a precious gift–but I definitely need the Lord to do His work through me!
dawn says
thank you for this today!
Krissa says
Such a great reminder…I love a good cuddle session when they’re older and rarely let you rock them anymore!
amy says
This was so good! Such an excellent {and timely} reminder for me as God only just yesterday convicted my heart about my tendency to make an IDOL out of my time. I am way too quick to just come unglued when anything or anyone interrupts MY schedule! Ha!
I loved this part of your post: “Sometimes I need to be interrupted. I need someone or something to slap me in the face and remind me of what’s important, to force myself to ask why I do those tasks that I do. For it is in those interruptions that I often find Him and His peace.”
I have a great example of this: Yesterday I was looking forward to having an entire day all to myself…kids in school, husband out of town on business…I had my day all planned out. Then my husband called with a “mini crisis” and needed my help. It required me driving a great distance for him and took up a lot of my time. At first I was resentful, but then I remembered that one of my primary roles is to be my husband’s helper. God was interrupting my day to give me an opportunity to BE a help to him. When all was said and done, God had shown His faithfulness to me by answering a couple of my prayers for His help as I was working to help my husband AND I received reassurance of my husband’s love for me as he let me know how grateful he was for me coming to his rescue.
We certainly need to remember that our interruptions are really opportunities from God 😉
Thanks again,
Amy
Jennifer says
Thank you for sharing, Amy. What a great example of how God will never disappoint when we are obedient and shift our perspective!
Cheryl says
Wonderful article. I work in a church office with constant (Interruptions) My children are now gone from the home (And yes, I miss that time dearly), but I still thank God I have these opportunites every day that he has given me to love others in His name. I pray that I will be led by the Spirit… “So that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously.” Colossians 1:10-11
Lis says
Choking up over here!
I remember when my son no longer wanted me to hold him for cuddling and the first time he was sick at about 4/5 and that’s ALL he wanted–sad to say, I actually said the words, “I’m so glad he’s sick!”
Thanks for the reminder. <3
Kathy Cook says
Jennifer, that is a wonderful one. Took this grandma back 35 yrs!
Living the Balanced Life says
As a mama to 4 who are grown, the youngest of whom will be 18 in a few weeks, cherish this time. I know interruptions are a pain, but ones like the above will be precious. My youngest has been sick a good bit this past 2 weeks and becasue of that, she has spent a good bit of time hanging with mom, snuggled up next to us, bit of us with our laptops, sharing things with each other.
Bernice
Keeping little hands busy while mommy works
Kelly says
Such a wonderful post. As a mom I savor those moments of “quiet time” and sometimes don’t do well when they are interrupted, but what a great reminder that even in the interruptions we can find wonderful blessings. Thanks for your post.
Courtney says
Oh my – so, so familiar. Motherhood is all about interruptions, but they are really a privilege. Just hard to see that at the moment sometimes. Thanks for this beautiful reminder!
Anonymous says
I was wondering if you would allow me to put this in our local MOPS newsletter? It only goes to about 40 women who are in our group, and would not be used anywhere else.
Randa K.
Jennifer says
I don’t see why that would be a problem as long as you include in the newsletter that you found this article through (in)courage on this date and give my name. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and hope it will be useful! 🙂
Holley Gerth says
“It is in those interruptions that I often find Him and His peace.” Oh, yes, this is such a powerful reminder to see those things from a different perspective! Not as obstacles to my plan for the day but divine opportunities. Thanks!
Adelle @ ready...GO!...get set says
So many times I have been there – stomping frustratedly down the hall to see what’s what…but not once have I begrudged the action in the end. Not once.
I have found so much peace in thsoe still, small hours rocking my boys. Lovely post!
josephine says
I know what you mean. My littlest one is 4 years old. She still will cuddle with me but it’s becoming less and less as she is growing older. I miss it. But when she was sick a few weeks ago she actually wanted me to cuddle all the time…cuddling the fever away. I hated that she was sick with a fever but I loved holding her. She melted into me.
Jessica Howard says
I have felt that same feeling one too many times. i often find myself getting “annoyed” at the interuption of a quiet moment. but then i hold him close, breathe in a deep breath of his 6 month sweetness and instantly forget what it was even annoyed for. I whisper a quiet apology in his ear and ask for forgiveness from this little baby who just needed my comfort or care. God’s little reminder to me to be patient.
~Bambi says
I love this post. Mainly because it is the heartbeat of a mother…sacrifice, love, care, and holding onto these times because in a brief moment, they will all be memories. Enjoy them while you can.
Thank you.
kendal says
oh. i love this, jen. i am annoyed by interruption as well and have to remind myself that jesus allowed himself to be interrupted. for healing. restoration. teaching. great post!
Amy Sullivan says
Oh, this made me teary.
Right now I have one who is getting too big to be rocked. How I miss those days.
Bec Touzel says
Thank you for this! I’ve also been getting up early (hello mornings!) and its wonderful, but every now and then God reminds me that “my” time is actually HIS time to instruct me as He pleases. And sometimes that means (another) feed with my 13 month old, on the little stool in her quiet dark room…knowing that this won’t last forever, I relish it.
But yes, sometimes I also need the slap in the face!
Dawn says
Some say that when we become mothers God should give us an extra hand. I think what God gave you was the ability to see in the dark. What a beautiful post, Jennifer.
Jennifer says
Thank you for the beautiful comment!
Jennifer says
Thank you, Dawn, for the beautiful comment!
Katie @ Imperfect People says
This is great! I am so guilty of getting frustrated by the interuptions. But they are all part of the plan!
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