Emerging from the Fog

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The past three months have been a bit of a fog for me.

You see, I found out I was expecting at the end of October.

By the first week of November, I was throwing up multiple times a day.

By mid-November, laundry hadn’t been touched in weeks.

People looked at me with sympathetic eyes and said, “you can do it.”

I kept throwing up and wondered if they were right.

By December, I was crying every day.

Christmas didn’t feel like Christmas.

I prayed that the sickness would not last for seven more months.

I prayed that I wouldn’t lose the baby because I didn’t think I could do this again.

I prayed thanksgiving for a husband and son who were managing just fine with mommy being sick.

Thankfully, I have finally turned a corner.

The sickness is less frequent. I can bend over the dryer without getting nauseous.

The little baby who was causing my body so much stress is now fluttering around like a sweet butterfly.

And each day, I remember that sickness and give thanks to God for the life He has blessed our family with and showing me a strength I didn’t know I had.

The first bible verse I learned as a new Christian was Philippians 4:13 – I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Never has that been more true than during the season I just endured.

God IS always with us, even in the seasons that are so challenging that we think we won’t survive.

So, as the end of this first month of a new year ends, take time to give thanks to God for where you are right now. Think about where your life has taken you and what you dream for the future.

Remember that God is there.

And no matter what, YOU can do it because HE gives you strength.

By Jessica Turner, The Mom Creative

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Jessica Turner
About the Author

Jessica Turner is the author of Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter and Thrive, and blogs on The Mom Creative. Every day is a juggling act as she balances working full-time, making memories with her family, photographing the every day and trying to be...

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  1. Jessica,

    Thank you for these words, as they have come at a time where I most needed them.

    ~Kate

  2. God bless you and the little one Jessica as you grow in your pregnancy. By the way, so happy the choice for the Bloom bookclub was Ann Voskamp’s book. I’m trying to get as quickly as I can so I can keep up with everyone.

  4. For me vomiting is the epitomy of helplessness and loss of control. That’s one reason I hate it so much and found it so humbling when I was throwing up several times a day for 5 months during my first pregnancy. I also loved how you wrote this post…you showed how God is there through everything…how the “little things” in the eyes of others could break us without God’s strength for us to depend upon. So much hope in your sweet words. Praying for you and your family and hoping for many no-throw-up days ahead.

  5. As a grandmother now, I still recall those days, & I still can almost cry for you. But it does finally pass, & with great reward! Hegivesyou strength. He will use this for you to one day help someone else! Proud of you!

  7. your post made me smile a bit, you see I had the same type of debilitating all day sickness with our first until I gave birth to her, doctors keep saying that it was because she was our first and that the next baby would be easier on me!!! 3 babies later, I can say they were so wrong!!!! But in the pain, and spending way to much time in the potty room being ill, I learn many lesson, God was with me, wherever I am God is with me(Joshua 1:8-9)

    Praise God you are feeling better 🙂 and Congrats on the blessing

  8. I was right there with you – sick all day Sept through November with my second little miracle. I almost cried when I read this, rembering and in sympathy for you – it’s terrible! I never know how thankful I should and would be for normal days. I need to remember this as I am now in my third trimester and complaining about the (minor) aches and pains.

  9. Oh, Jessica. I understand where you are coming from here. I threw up several times a day every day for the first 4 months of this pregnancy. I got to the point where I would cry and cry. One day, I had to drive 4-5 hours by myself at the height of my sickness and that whole drive, I cried that verse. He is faithful– so thankful for that. I’m looking forward to the day where you can hold your new baby and know that it was all worth it. I’m looking forward to that day for me, too, haha! You are precious, and I am praying for you.

  10. Thank you. I needed to hear this….
    God IS always with us, even in the seasons that are so challenging that we think we won’t survive.

    Perfect statement.
    God Bless

  11. Jessica ~

    So sorry to hear that. You always looked so good in the last Bloom Discussion. Who would have known you were so sick with this pregnancy. I’m glad your feeling better now.

    I think there are so many Moms out there who have been around that Mountain. I was one of them. For three months, I threw up for hours on end each day. I was beginning to wonder “why” was I doing this again. I couldn’t even go to the grocery store. All the choices, smells and having to ride in the car.

    Then on one sunny spring morning, it all was gone. I felt so much better. I thanked God for getting me through that point in my life and 4 months later I got to hold what had been continuously making me sick for the first half of this pregnancy. Another beautiful baby boy. I always said I was going to tell him all about “what” he had done to his poor mommy, but decided it was necessary . He is a pure joy and why do I want him to think anything different.

    Just to note, I have had FOUR boys and each of them did not agree with me for the first four months of pregnancy. Would I do it again, ABSOLUTELY! I’m a Mom and can conquer anything for a sweet bundle of joy.

    Good Luck,
    Kimberly

  12. I can relate Jessica. I am a week behind you so I walked through this fog at the same time. Being sick over the holidays was miserable but I learned a lot about my family, my strength, and how to lean on God like I’d never done before. Thanks for sharing!

  13. Jessica, So happy you are feeling better!! At times I am able to believe in my head that there will be a day that this Fog lifts and the sun shines again, but my heart cannot seem to process that! My husband passed away on Christmas Eve and I just can’t seem to function at any level while I am at home. It’s weird, when I go to work I seem ok and get lots done, but then coming home, I find myself sitting in front of the TV bundled in a blanket all night! You say: “”take time to give thanks to God for where you are right now. Think about where your life has taken you and what you dream for the future.”” Such beautiful words, but today they are the most difficult to swallow!! Blessings to you and congrats on little #2 Turner 🙂

  17. Oh, did I need to hear this today! I’m posting that Bible verse by my computer right now! Thank you. And I’m glad you are feeling better. Amazing how babies can cause us so much trouble and yet we love them so much!

  18. Glad you’re feeling better. These seasons of life – some of them just threaten to undo us, don’t they? But God is always there, right in the middle of it all, cheering us on in His still, small voice.

  19. Jessica,

    Just said a prayer for you sweetie! Praise God He gives us the strength to go on when we feel like giving up!!!

    We all seem to have various seasons of life that can seem like a fog. Thank God for seeing us through them!

    Glad to hear you’re feeling much better!!

  20. Oh, I so want to believe that God will give me the strength to survive this season. It feels like I can’t find Him right now. How does one make it through heart-wrenching betrayal? I can feel anger and bitterness, why can’t I feel God and His strength. What am I doing wrong?

    • He is there Penny, He is there. Praying you feel His love and strength on your heart. On the other side of this season, you will see the strength through Him that you did not know you had. Love to you sweet Penny.

    • Oh sweet, sweet Penny. My heart hurts for you. I too am praying that you will feel God’s strength and his arms wrapped around you. You are loved and you are made for so much more than pain currently searing your heart. Praying for you!!

  23. Even though we are in different seasons (my only child is 11), I needed to hear what you said at the end. “Remember that God is there. And no matter what, YOU can do it because HE gives you strength.”

    Thank you for the reminder!

  24. Thank you Jessica. I’m in a fog of my own (no not pregnancy). Last night ready to give up and begging God for strength. Thanks for reminding me of the hope

  25. So happy you are feeling better now Jessica. What a blessing to be shown you have strength that you did not know you had. A wonderful way to look at a difficult situation you have made it through!

  26. Sooo needed to her this today: God IS always with us, even in the seasons that are so challenging that we think we won’t survive.. You see, it’s my birthday today though I don’t feel like celebrating. I’ve been through alot this past year, and not a lot of it good times. I live out west (Calgary AB [above Montana for you Americans]) but the far majority of my friends live in SW Ontario, just a little too far east to just drop by unannounced. Two of my best friends from there just Facebooked me this morning my time, and I just about lost it. Home is not home for me and though I have friends out here, it’s just not the same. I can’t just call them up and invite myself over, though I wish I could.

    • Oh Chantal…I am praying for you…I know the pain of moving all too well. Happy Birthday to you as well…I know you aren’t feeling happy inside, but I know that God is so happy that He made you.

      • Thank you Angela. The especially hard part of it was that I had no say in the move. Now I’m glad we moved, but only just. It’s been a steep learning curve for me to lean on Jesus always. I’m only now learning it deep down. The first year apart from everyone was especially hard, because I had no one except my family. That’s not healthy no matter how you look at it. The nice thing now about visiting is that almost always my mom hasn’t come with me. My mom, I love her to bits, but I need alone time with my friends and not worry about what my mom would say. My real family (not blood) is out east and they treat me how I should be treated. I’m grateful for my friends out east and here so much. They remind me just by their presence how things should be and accept me for who I am, not for how I should be (as my parents and sister like to see me as).

        • I hear you and I understand…one thing that has helped me through similar struggles is learning how to Be Community (there is an in-courage post I wrote about it if you think it would be helpful…I want to say October…??) and also digging into God’s Word to replace the lies with truth and know what He feels about me…it gave me so much courage. Not saying it was easy…Just sharing a few tips that worked for me and praying that you will feel more peace soon. Hugs. Angela

  27. thanks for this reminder, friend. because i can’t imagine that i can keep doing this. but then i remember that He knows i can. that has to be enough sometimes.

  28. This was so timely , thank you! I just got up from being on my knees thanking God that this evening everyone in my family is fine, in their place, happy , content and as they should be. We were practically ripped apart this past fall by dark demons that haunted our family, but for now they have passed and we have togetherness and love and help and hope. I was in tears as I was overwhelmed with gratitude that even if only for tonight, at least tonight I can say all is well.

    This line struck me from your post – “take time to give thanks to God for where you are right now. ” That is exactly what I had just been doing. I never want to go back to where we were, and I have no idea or control over where we’re going. All we have is right now. And tonight, right now is very, very good.

  29. Oh girl…I know what you went through! I had terrible morning sickness with my second pregnancy…worse than my 1st even though my 1st was twins! So happy you are seeing (and feeling!) a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Gracious words you offer here showing beauty from the ugly mess.

  31. Oh wow. My Mom directed me to this post today because she knew it would touch me, and she was so right! I too found out I was pregnant in October and I have spent the past four months in a complete fog. Not due to constant puking, but due to constant nausea and lots of stress regarding my High Risk Pregnancy. I had the same verse for encouragement in November, but seem to have lost the plot, so to speak, since then and have struggled, but I think things are starting to come together. Thanks for this post. It brought tears to my eyes. {hugs} to you, Jessica, for your trying 4 months and for the miracle God has granted you.

  33. Oh boy. This brings back some memories. No, I didn’t have it as bad as you, but I felt sick every minute of that first trimester (all three times)!

    Yet there is no greater joy here on earth. I’d do it all over. Again and again (and again!)

    God bless.