About the Author

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. She's also wife to Mark, Mom to Lovelle, and Nana to Eula and Clem.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. I find it easy to see how His creation reflects His love, grace, and beauty and yet I don’t see that same reflection in myself. Thank you for this truth, this reminder. We are His workmanship and He does good work!

  2. I have never had issues with my physical self. What I am struggle with loving is my insecurities. I feel guilty for not loving the person God created me to be. For feeling like God did something wrong when he decided to let me live on this earth for him. I need to start praying for my heart to change and to see all the good in me.

  3. Unfortunately, I tend to swing the other way– towards self-importance and pride. I talk-loud about myself and clamor for people’s attention and pat myself on the back all too often. Ugh. It’s an ugly thing on so many levels, and because it’s pride, it shields me from even recognizing my own tendency towards it.

    So. UNlike Christ.

  4. I sometimes find it hard to believe that God made me beautiful. On some days I just can’t see that. Then it’s good to read Psalm 139.
    Thank you for this reminder!

  5. Over the past few months, God has been so good to help me begin to see myself physically the way He does. It’s been a whole-life battle for me to think anything good about the parts of me I’d consider flawed. I still fight the urge to belittle myself or push away compliments in favor of the “truth” but it’s been so freeing to also begin to grasp that He made me – and called me good!

  6. I’m always my toughest critic. I can’t seem to extend the grace I have for others to myself. Perhaps it’s because I know I can do better or at least want to. When I get down on myself, I just have to turn to Him in prayer, asking for a fresh perspective and His grace.

  7. Oh boy do I struggle! This past year has been a year of healing for me and this was part of that process. It still is an ongoing process. I was asked by my counselor to describe myself and who I am. I couldn’t. I could not describe anything good about me other than I brought 2 beautiful loving children into this world. I felt (still do) that I was not loved growing up so I didnt love myself because obviously something was wrong with me if my mother couldnt love me. I was wrong, I know that now. So my counselor gave me an assignment to ask a few trusted friends who knew what I was going through this past year to describe who I am in their eyes. The people asked were all Christian, 2 have known me since childhood, 1 I’ve slowly let into my world the past 2 years and the last 1 I’ve just began letting in the last 12 months or so. I was so humbled by what they said about me but I couldnt believe it was me they were talking about. I still struggle believing it but I am beginning to see some of the descriptive words they used–genuine, loyal, creative, courageous. The last one is harder to see but I’m beginning too. I’ve finally given it to God, I’ve asked him to show me what is good about me and my life so I dont focus on the bad. He is providing for me the people to help me work through all of it. He is GOOD!

    • I use to think I was not much when I was married to a very abusive man for 45 years .But The Lord Has healed me in the last 2 years so much and reading his words, Plus living alone I can speak to my Savior at all time and getting closer and closer to our God .He has giving me a secure feeling into my heart and spirit and most of all a spirit of acceptence and he fill me with his love daily …..I trust in him with all my mind and heart .and He answer all even my smallest desires .
      God is so good “”never despair”” .as he is always there Thank you Father for givng me a attitude of gratitude ,,

  8. I struggle every single moment of every single day.
    I can pick myself apart and beat myself up better than anyone else could ever do.
    I guess it’s a learned behavior.
    Prayer and wonderful friends help, but it’s a struggle, and something I am still working on. This book sounds really terrific!

  9. Anytime we can focus on bettering our insides this makes me have more hope for bettering my outsides and all….my….relationships….. I’d love to read this book. good luck to all 😀

  10. It helps me most to have people in my love who love me — really, really love me — for exactly who (and how) I am. I am so thankful for those people.

  11. As some have already mentioned, having people in your life to remind you of the truth of what God says about you can be a day changer … which leads to life change when you start to hang on to the truth for longer intervals of time. I had 4 close friends move away in the last 2 years and while we maintain our relationship from afar, I’ve realized that having access to this community at incourage reminds me of the truth when I can’t reach one of my friends – or when I don’t have the guts to let them know I’m struggling. Thank you for being here for me.

  12. Lets just say I more than struggle with loving myself. I absolutely hate myself oftentimes. I can’t stand that I have struggled with self-injury and still am tempted. I can’t stand that I am flirting with anorexia. I hate that I can waste so much time online because I don’t know how to make friends, and I hate that my grades are not so good. These things weigh down on me. Last year I did the LFL: Unveil bible study for women which helped me see my identity is not fixed on what I have done and what past sins I have committed and that God created me the way I am and thinks it is just right. It helps me to be reminded of that, but clearly sometimes it is still SO not enough and I get really down on myself. Every day though I read a list of verses I got from that bible study book, and I have a notecard with me at all times that I wrote about my identity when I was in the study “I am a girl that God created that turned out exactly how he wanted, and whom he loves and has a plan for. I am not a mess-up or failure, and God is not disappointed in the way I turned out. God does not want a redo. He is not ashamed of me.” The bad grammar in it kinda haunts me, but it encourages me so much to see it.

    I can’t wait to read Annie’s book. The library near me has it on consideration for purchase and I am so excited!!

  13. Wow!! I struggle with these exact same thoughts! It’s much easier to see the beauty and worth in others than in myself! Thanks for the reminder today!

  14. When I look in the mirror I see a middle aged woman who everyday sees that something has changed on my body. I worry about being attractive still to my husband. As I type this I realize how very vain this sounds. I want to be able to look past the physical part and see that I am worthy and good in my soul. That all that truly matters is how I share Christ’s love and to live my life as God wants me to. Body and Soul. Thank you for your devotion and for being honest.

  15. I read Psalm 139 often as it reminds me that God created me “on purpose” and with a purpose. It reminds me that He loves me just as I am.

  16. What helps me love myself is reminding myself how much God loves me and wants relationship with me. Verses like Zeph 3:17, Psalm 139, Hosea 2:23, John 17:13..
    It is not always easy to accept His love and care for me but it is much easier than it used to be.
    The way God showed me His love in the first place was through my husband who has never stopped loving me for 34 years but for the first 20 I always thought he would abandon me…
    I love that God loves me so much and always welcomes me to Him.
    Thanks for sharing with us

  17. Satan is so defeating…and he has defeated us so well in this area.
    He knows how God sees us…better than we even do.
    He knows God has a plan for us…so he does too.
    He knows that our Original Design is beautiful…so he goes after it.
    We are delighted in–Psalm 147:11
    We are chosen–2 Thes. 2:13
    We are holy–Eph. 1:4
    We are dearly loved–Col. 3:12
    We are blessed–Eph. 1:3
    We are so very pleasing to Him!
    I realized my negative self-talk was assisting Satan against me–that made me mad!
    He is my enemy and I don’t want to agree with him about any thing or in any area.
    It’s hard–it’s a DAILY battle–taking all thoughts captive!
    But who we are in Christ is everything!
    Who we are in the mirror is a reflection of the flesh–who we are to be dying to daily anyway, right?! 🙂
    Who we are in character is still being matured and defined on the Potter’s wheel and “He who began a good work…” Well–you know!
    I have visited so many of your sites, Ladies, and believe me…YOU. ARE. LOVELY!

    • Thanks for the insight, Robin. I am copying and printing this to help remind myself, that I am beautiful and wonderful.

    • Thank you for your daily emails Holly, you are an encouragement…Robin, I enjoy your comments above…
      I have been felling down and out lately and I just opened your email today Holly…and wow, just what I needed for today…I need to learn to Love myself with the Creator’s help…I think I could use this…it is all a learning process…

  18. I went through a time during where I was so very comfortable in my own skin, where I truly loved myself. Well, I graduated college in May 2010, and this is a journey I have had to start all over again. I have been more insecure and unloving about myself than I have in years. Thankfully, God used a dear friend to open my eyes to this fact. So with a new year, I am trying to learn to love myself and to serve and bring glory to God here in the place He has called me by leaving all of my insecurities behind and clinging to Him and the security He provides.

  19. I find it very easy to encourage others and help others love themselves, but I struggle because its not reciprocated. I don’t see myself loving myself when I look in the mirror.. I don’t doubt God’s love and design for me but I just feel so insecure of myself to actually say I love myself. However, reading your blog and devotional have helped me see things in different light and I am so grateful. I find myself doing all that you mention and asking God to give me that insight as well. I am learning but it’s a process!

  20. I haven’t felt beautiful in awhile. I don’t want to go shopping because I keep hoping I won’t stay the size I am.

    I guess my mind hears that God loves me at any size, but I just can’t understand it. I know he loves my soul, but… not my body?

  21. Yes, I struggle with a lot of stuff, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I feel I never measure up. But God has been working on me, and slowly, I’m starting to not hate myself as much and not doubt myself as much. But my ideals about myself are not entirely gone yet, and I think might take a long while for them to be gone for good.

  22. After years of struggling with low self-esteem and an eating disorder, I’d finally had enough. It took about a year and a half but I broke free. It was so incredibly difficult but I don’t even know that person anymore. God is faithful and He can change your heart and the destructive thoughts 🙂

  23. My struggles are more with loving the inner self. I know my heart is desperately wicked, and others can’t see it. But Jesus does… so how can He love me? As much as I want to live for Him… I never can live up to expectations. I am so thankful that He knows, and possibly isnt as hard on my as I am on myself. He continues to mold me and make me into who He wants me to be. Knowing this about myself… though… helps me not be so hard on others.

  24. There is a song called “Fathers Eyes” that I think of when I answer the question “Do you struggle with loving who you are?”. If I look at myself through my Fathers eyes, I see how much I am worth to Him. I am worth the life of His Son. That makes me want to honor Him with my whole being.

  25. I like parts of me who I’ve become but that has come with age. Now I struggle with aging and what the world says is beautiful. I’d love to read the book.

  26. Actually, my Sister and I doing a gratitude journal and I made a list on where to focus (because she’s a detail-kinda-gal) and I made week #7 our body. Then I was stumped. I only added that one in because I feel I underappreciate mine, at best, or resent it, and those extra pounds from the source which stored them, at worst. So why not gratitude, right? It’s challenge for both my Sister and me, but I’m already thinking, I need to number my gratitudes for my body more often.

    • Maybe ignoring the world’s standards of beauty and instead pondering the wonder of a self-repairing, self-healing body, the complexity of its functions, the uniqueness of the various types of cells (taste buds vs. hair follicles for example), musing on the the wonders of the body that our Father gave you to enjoy His gifts of taste, touch, smell, music and dancing — would help you find much to be grateful for. Praying for amazement to replace your dissatisfaction with what you see in the mirror. Hard to do, because the world is SO LOUD. But our God doesn’t know the word “impossible.”

  27. Struggling daily and learning to see ME through HIS eyes, and the eyes of my children has been my salvation! Thank you Annie, and Holly for your sweet words for my soul!

  28. Looks like a great book … I learned about loving myself a few years ago after wondering why I was often annoyed with other people or judged them or even held grudges against others.

    After thinking of the familiar words about loving others as yourself … I realized that I did not love myself … gosh, I didn’t even like myself! No wonder others annoyed me, I was living a double standard. I couldn’t love others if I didn’t love myself. Of course, I judged others, because I constantly judged myself. I was holding grudges against others, because I was holding grudges against myself.

    Slowly, but surely (with counseling and prayer) I began to like myself. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a healthy way. The personal mental beatings stopped. I gave myself grace.

    Guess Jesus knew what he was talking about, because as I liked myself more, I liked others more. As I stopped being so hard on myself, I stopped being so hard on others. As I stopped judging myself for the way I did or didn’t handle a situation, I stopped judging others for their actions — whether I agreed with them or not.

  29. I do a lot of caregiving and tend to let self-care be last on the list, but caring for and loving are intertwined. So I made one of my new habits to develop this year DOING SOMETHING DAILY for SELF-CARE. It can be simple (removing chipped nail polish, sitting with a cup of tea and some favorite music in the background, a short walk when a long one cannot be had). I think it shows respect for my own needs, often invisible to others. Not to whine about my role or anything. I think I am perfectly placed in my role.

  30. What a timely post!! For women it’s hard to focus on and love ourselves. We tend to spend our energy and love on family, & friends.

    Like Kiersten I have issues with insecurities. I keep hearing “you’re stupid, ugly, dumb not smart enough… and the list goes on”. I know it’s the devil speaking, but I can’t help believing it some.

    I’m going to work on loving ALL of me that God made – ’cause He don’t make junk!!

  31. I have always struggled with the outside of me…not feeling like what is there is very appealing to others. My childhood left me not liking the inside either. God has really been working on me to erase the lies I have been believing all these years and replace them with the deep truths of His love for me that I find in His Word. I am extremely grateful for His patience with me as I tend to wrestle with Him about this way too often. Through your post today I hear Him whisper once again, “I made you and I love you just the way you are”. Thank you for the reminder! The book sounds intriguing!

  32. yes,, isrtuggle tons with loving myself…a lot of the outside of me..but also the inside of me….i have to remind myself that God doesn’t make mistakes and He made me…also that i need to take care of the gift that God gave me…my body…and no i am not any good at it..but all i can do is get up and try again…this book sounds like it was written for me…it’s easy to read or think of why we are special…but it always remains a mental thing for me and not a heart thing…i can’t seem to get to the believing it part…thank u so much for the encouragement!

  33. I have struggled with my weight since the birth of my first child… those few extra pounds never seem to fall off, no matter what I’ve done (which hasn’t been much, lately!) This sweet, sweet man who I am so lucky to have in my life tells me everyday how beautiful I am, but there’s till this nagging voice inside that says, “Really?!” instead of a simple thank you for a kind and genuine compliment. I’ve started to realize that maybe, just maybe, this man really does look at me and see beauty… on the inside and outside, as he has told me many times. His love and HIS love have made me realize, slowly but surely, that I should embrace who I am and love ALL of me. Every bit. Every stretch mark and muffin top and extra pound, whether they fall off or not. 🙂

  34. I am my own biggest bully.

    And we all know that bullies are weak, scared, and lonely individuals who can only feel empowered by berating and beating down the spirit of others who are perceived as weak.

    Does this “person” sound familiar?

    I believe that this is one of the most powerful ways Satan has a pull on us. He preys on our own perceived weaknesses and by beating our spirit down, prevents us from experiencing all of the glory of life that God has given us.

    I know this, and yet, I allow the bullying to continue.

    I have made great strides in the last few years to disarm this bully, but it is so easy to fall back into submission. That place of self-doubt and loathing can be eerily comforting and familiar – strange as this might sound.

    I know that this will be a lifelong struggle for me. But with God’s grace and the love of friends and family, I pray that someday I will finally be in love, unconditional love, with this wondrous creation of His, all doubts of self-worth will melt away, and I will shine.

  35. Holley, do I ever struggle with this! I would love to get this book, it sounds like a real breakthrough and I’m so glad it has blessed you.

    I try to focus on Psalm 139, and sometimes that helps. I’m learning that I must have had a core belief about myself that has turned into this operational belief that I am not worthy of love…or something along those lines. I know these are lies from the pit of hell, but after believing lies for so long, believing the truth takes some work.

    Thank you for sharing about this book.

    Hugs to you, Holley,

  36. One thing that helps me most is having both my husband and my dearest friends near me. Being surrounded by people who love me helps me to be able to love me too. I am thankful for how much my husband loves me inside and out – and he reminds me often. And I have been blessed with some really great friends who are there for me in different ways: words of encouragement, support, a helping hand, understanding. Then there are some days the whole “fake it til you make it” thing doesn’t hurt either! 😉

  37. I try to remember on those days that I dont love me, that God has a plan for me that is bigger then I can dream. It also helps to surround youself with people that love you despite all the flaws that you can find witin yourself.

  38. It must be God. I am sitting here, reading the comments and the devotional today, waiting fort he time I leave to meet with a counselor, so we can continue our work on my belief, that “no one loves me.” I can sing the song,”Jesus loves me, this I know”, but so much of the time I can’t carry the words in my heart. Thanks for the reminder, and the peace that this isn’t just my struggle.

  39. I struggle with comparing myself to other women. I KNOW that God sees me as enough and finds me beautiful but that’s an easy truth to forget most days 🙂 I have a wonderfully supportive husband and circle of friends and choosing to rely on the promises of the Word is the best medicine for insecurities.

  40. I do struggle some days, but then I think about my four kids, and how much I love them, NO MATTER WHAT! This reminds me in the same way kind of way, how my Father loves me…UNCONDITIONAL!

  41. I struggle with this every day, but I imagine that I am curled up in God’ lap with my head on His chest, and I know that I am more than enough, and that He will use me as I am if I quite struggling against Him.

  42. Oh, how I can relate to this message. I have been a widow for years now, since I was in my early thirties. I have multiple health problems, and to be honest, just feel ugly. I know that HE doesn’t see me that way, but….
    It is hard to believe that I really could love myself when after 20+ years, I have not found someone to join me in this journey. I have a wonderful family, and I know they love me! I have great children and two wonderful grandchildren. I see their love for me in their eyes….if I could only see it.
    I am working on it, and the blog today makes me see I need to try harder, and see what others see, what HE sees! Thanks!!

  43. This was for me. I was literally saying that I don’t love myself when I opened my email and saw this article. Can’t say I have an answer or a change of heart just yet. But it’s clear God hears me and longs for me to see what He sees when He looks at me.

  44. When I look at myself I see a middle aged women who has been taken over by menopause. I see changes going on that I can’t control. I then remind myself that I can’t control anything!! God is in control of everything, even my raging menopause and rest in the comfort of His prescence.

  45. I have been struggling all of my life with insecurities of what I look like, and to date, for whatever reasons, I am still unable to accept how I look….no matter what stage of life I was at, whether childhood, teenage years, young adult years, and now aging years, I have never been accepting of what I look like.

    Since becoming a Christian, some 25 years ago, I have grown a lot in my walk with God, but this is still one area of my life which has never changed, even though I know this is wrong and feel it has hindered me in many ways.

    Part of my acceptance of who I am is due to a wonderful group I belong to ~ The Encouragers, a group of ladies who meet to study God’s word, to pray, to fellowship with one another, and to send out cards to those in need of a word of encouragement. We support each other at all times and we try to be God’s servants here on earth by reaching out through our card ministry to those who are hurting and experiencing difficult times in their lives. Just this past year, we sent out almost 500 cards…the need for this ministry continues to be phenomenal and we truly find this to be a very rewarding part of who we are and what our ministry is. Each one in our group has physical problems of one kind or another, whether it be arthritis, other aches or pains, particularly shoulder, hip and knee, somewhat of a memory loss, or find ourselves getting hot when we least expect it. And even though I know that we will face these same annoyances year after year, I am beginning to realize that I am being made new day by day. And when it comes down to it, this is all that matters…the things I desperately need….a new inside…a new heart…new eyes…and hopefully someday, a new acceptance of what I look like.

  46. When I was first divorced, I didn’t feel loved or love myself much. I had a very dear friend tell me that until I could love myself I would not be happy. It was hard at first to stand in front of that mirror every morning and say I love you. I would cry so hard when I first looked at the mirror I could not say the words out loud. I would think what is here to love…Nothing. But, that small act and a bible verse helped me so much. Jeremiah 29:11, as I would repeat that verse and look in the mirror, I saw things changing I began to smile, and say I like you. You have some good things about you, but there are some things you need to change. It took almost 2 years, but now I can look in the mirror, and say Orbie you are a good person, I love you, you have a great personality, a loving heart and god is going to bless you today.

  47. I struggle day by day with my appearance. I appear to be confident, but inside I don’t feel that way because of my weight. Thank you for this beautiful post. We as women all need to read these words today!

  48. I find myself in so many things said above… I do not love me either… feeling guilty because I cannot force myself to do it.
    I was talking with my pastor about that some weeks ago and he said something that helped me a lot: I do not have to make me love myself, he is also enough when I cannot do it one moment… he is bigger and he will help me love me more and more because he loves me so much… That was helping me not to feel guilty and not punishing myself but looking at Jesus and his love

  49. I struggle to see the beauty in the parts of me I view as “broken ” … the hips that fuse and the knees that swell and hobble. What helps me find beauty is the knowledge that that these parts of me (that I am sometimes ashamed of) allow me more time to notice the moments of my life , enjoy them with my chickadees, and praise my God, with intention, for all of it. If I am made in His image, there is surely beauty in the broken.

  50. Worth for a man is a little different. The reflection we see in our mirrors is defined by what we accomplish, the power we amass, our ability to build a material “kingdom”. I have failed on these points. One success – I know, walk with, and love Our Lord, with heart mind and soul.

    But then, that’s his accomplishment, his power, and his kingdom – worth little in the currency of this world – and it’s that currency by which men are valued.

    Without Grace it’s really not possible to love the reflection I see. With grace, the standards of this world still beat down the efforts. But If God loves what he sees, if the image in the mirror is him – inside me – then all things are possible. No?

    Thank you much for this Holley – and to you and yours I really do pray blessings today.

  51. Ironic, isn’t it, that we ACT like we love ourselves above all others, yet many times the truth is we hate who we are. I realized several years ago that though I was self-centered, I hated myself. I prayed for God’s forgiveness and continued the journey to loving myself in a godly way. I’m not there yet, but I don’t hate myself any more and that has made all the difference! Thank you for hearing God’s call to address this most intimate, personal and profoundly life-changing issue. I believe many of us will be transformed through your obedience and therefore used more effectively by God to advance His kingdom.

  52. All I can say is the hardest person to love inside and out is ME! One of my strengths or gifts is being encourager, extending grace to others and extending some positive words. People like me and at times I wonder how or why. I know I am a good person but I stumble a lot when it comes to loving me. God will give me his word at just the right time it is needed and sometimes he just gives me quietness to ponder on his word. I love the Lord with all my strength and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else except in His strangs loving arms.

    This book sounds like a great book for a lot of us. Thanks for all you share.

  53. God has been talking to me alot about love recently. This is just one more piece of the love puzzle. Thank you for sharing and for encouraging us all to dive deeper into His loving embrace and to then extend His love outward from there.

  54. Right this minute, loving myself is a challenge. I have just walked through my second bout of cancer. I have two long scars where my chest used to be, I have only the tiniest bit of soft baby hair on my head, which I keep covered with a scarf or a hat at all times. Chemo has ravaged my body so that I barely recognize it anymore. What gets me through is the realization that the above just describes my body, not me. There was sickness in my body, but that has been taken away. ***I*** do not have cancer, I have not changed a bit during all this, except to grow more in love with Jesus every harrowing day of it.

  55. Most of the time i dont even like myself let alone love myself. Ive been a caregiver most of my life, sometimes i feel like ive given all of me away & now there isnt much left. I know in my heart God loves me . Im just to tired to see it.

  56. The idea that I am profoundly lovable or that God might find me reasonably pleasing, is pretty impossible for me to fathom most days. I don’t dislike myself, but how could I be as dear and wonderful to him as my own adult children are to me? The only way I can try to imagine God’s love for me is to remember that I’m his child. Surely he has a tender spot for me in all my imperfection. After all, he’s the Master parent. He simply must adore me, as I do my kiddos. 🙂

  57. I struggle a LOT with my self image both external and internal. On the days where it seems to get the best of me, I struggle to ask God to help me. I don’t know why it is so hard to cry out to Him in our struggles, maybe it is just me, but I know He is there and I start hearing the truths in my mind, that He loves me just as I am. And I have a great mom who lifts me up daily! 🙂

  58. I struggle every day with who I think I am and who I was created to be. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, and a teacher. I value the relationships I have been given by God but sometimes I place the emphasis on my weaknesses rather than His strength. It is so easy to get caught up in what the world says I should be. Resting in Him and knowing, truly knowing, who He says I am, is all that matters. At the end of a tough day, all I want is for Him to come in and rescue me from myself. Hold me in His arms and remind me of who I really am….His daughter, His child, His precious one.

  59. Psalm 119 carries reminders about the love God has for us. How he sees us.
    I was given a necklace from daughter for mothers days a couple of years ago and it is inscribed with celebrated, cherished, created and chosen. He loves us lavishly! I can so easily encourage others about the love God has for them, but most of time feel that doesn’t apply to me; that I’m just the messenger. One of my favorite inspiring words is “Believe”. I must choose to believe what God’s word says about me and accept it as truth.

  60. I struggle with the same issues, as many women do. I gained weight when I was pregnant and have struggled getting it off for the last 3 years. Every year, Praise God I lose about 20 pounds and I’m about 30 pounds from my prebaby weight. However, I know that I won’t be happy then because we all know what happens when we get old and out of shape, we wiggle and have flabby skin. I just want to really appreciate that God has given me this body and yes it was my choice to shovel the food into it but it’s my choice now to break that habitat. I pray that no matter what that I look like on the outside I pay attention to the inside and what God has given me. I need to be happy that I’m overweight then underweight and that I have all working body parts. Praise God for the food he’s given me.

  61. I have no trouble loving others….but, myself??? Then I remember that I am created in His image. Wow! That changes everything!!!

  62. this is something I’ve been good at and then not so good at. Struggling a little right now with it. and with what the world perceives as beauty. And trying to allow truth to reign in me. Being different. and allowing the gift of His voice to lead me in truth. Need your help and others to do that. Women must be kind to women. It is so important.

  63. psalm 139:14 has been on a sticky note on my mirror for nearly five years. which is when therapy for anorexia began. and now, recovered, it’s believable.

  64. Today I feel like a truck hit me … I struggle to get up and go forward let alone love myself. My body is giving in to the dysautonomia that I have and I have been turned down again for health coverage because of it. My physical self has changed -medication has caused another weight gain. Thank you for this devotion. I’m not there with you yet but it did help. I need to focus on what Christ thinks about me and the love He gives me so that I can love myself again. Keep up your wonderful writing – it is a gift from God.

  65. I never even give a thought to loving myself. If I try, I can’t help becoming flooded of all the thoughts and memories of the mistakes in my life. I always say I’ve never made a right decision ever. Because of always choosing the wrong path, it stagnates me, keeps me locked in the mire. I do know the Lord loves me and has a plan, but I’m always so afraid I’m not clearly understanding what I should do. I know God blesses me because I’m still here and wanting to do what is right. This book sounds very interesting. I’d love to learn how to love myself.

  66. I am always surprised when I hear that someone likes me. I know myself, I don’t like me. It’s hard sometimes to see myself as the person that my friends see. Which makes it even harder to try to see how God could love me. Afterall, he knows my real thoughts, my true feelings and the desires of my heart. Yet, I know he loves me, as he made me. It is a continual struggle and I am thankful to have reminders, like this.

  67. It took me a long time to love myself, but as I drew closer to my God, He let me know and see just how much He loves me and how special He made me. I am beautifully & wonderfully made.

  68. I struggle with how God can love me when I see so many that do so much more with their lives, I’m single never married and 51. I don’t compare to those raising children, working on a relationship with my spouse. What about me is great? Yet I know the plans God has for me and they were made for me in mind. I pray for His encouragment daily as He sees me

  69. I definitely do still tend to struggle with self-image! I am a college student, and since middle school, my weight has been anywhere from 125 to 170 lbs due to health issues — constantly yo-yoing without my say! When I am eating healthy foods and fasting as a discipline and exercising daily, I tend to have better self-esteem because I can feel myself honoring my temple.

    Major breakthrough continues to come as I get deeper and deeper revelation of the love Abba Father has for me – the Eph 3:18 experiencial love that screams, “I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE PERFECT! YOU’RE HEPHZIBAH! YOU’RE BEULAH! YOU’RE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!” Jesus speaks these words straight to my heart, and I can’t help but believe them.

  70. There was a time when I really struggled with loving myself although I was doing many things to make that happen. I read a lot of self help books, said affirmations to myself in the mirror, bought what I wanted if I had the money or not because after all, I deserved it and took part in a self indulgent therapy that told me I could do no wrong no matter what my actions. I was miserable.

    It wasn’t until I got right with God that I began to understand my true worth. I am God’s child. His. He died for me. ME. That must make me worth something! That realization helped me to take paths of forgiveness for myself and others and as a result I have been healed from a lot of emotional turmoil. All of the time and money I spent doing the above was a total waste. What I really needed to love myself was Him and it was free.

  71. As a survivor of sexual abuse as a child (not I must add by a family member) I have struggled most of my adult life with loving and even liking myself. What I am learning is that to truly love myself I must learn to love God with all my heart. When I am committed to Him I learn to love myself the way He loves me by seeing myself not through my eyes but through the eyes of the One who created me.

  72. I have struggled with both…I have a birth defect that has made it hard to love myself on the outside and a tender heart that can self-condemn on the inside. God continues to work on me with this! It sounds like Annie’s awesome book could help! Yay!

  73. I believe most of us ladies do find it hard to accept ourselves for who we are, the vessel God created us to be. I had some long conversations with our God about this very topic, and I finally heard His answer when I quieted down to listen. Every question of, “but why, God….,” He responded over and again through His precious word – “Because I created you, a vessel fit for service.” How can the one created say to the Creator, “Why did you make me so?” God has designed each of us to be unlike the next, no bar codes used. God knew ages ago what He had in mind for your life; a purpose and plan. He designed each of us to fit into a predetermined place in this earth and laid out our destiny long ago – all to fulfill His plan to further His kingdom and bring glory and honor to Him. If God went to so much trouble and determination to create us so wonderfully, perhaps we should begin to see ourselves as He does. Certainly not with an arrogant attitude. We need to grasp His concept that we are indeed vessels of perfection, whole and unblimished through the cleansing blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, and through the very nature of who He is. He sees us as beautiful, with talents and capabilities. Wouldn’t it be an insult for a clay vessel to say to the potter, “My, look at the mess you made of me.” Let’s not insult the God of our creation. Instead, let’s humble ourselves and thank the Lord for who we are, asking always that He guide us to become all He has created us to be.

  74. its been hard ever since i was diagnosed with an ailment that does not allow me to function at par with someone my age and experience so while there are bouts of low dark self there are occassional flashes to say its ok and not in my hands as i’m still loved and make a difference in the lives of a few that’s all for me that matters

  75. I have only recently been healed from self-loathing and now truly know that God loves me. I still struggle with loving myself – I see all the flaws: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I have lost my confidence and self-worth. However, I am fed by my pastor, Wisdom Hunters, and Holley. I know that the real pahway to loving myself is transforming and renewing my mind. Toward that end, I am going to post supporting scriptures areound my office and house. Once we renew our minds, our behaviour will change.

  76. It seems almost everyone struggles with this in one way or another. I certainly do! When a pastor once told me that the verse in Ephesians “Be kind and compassionate to one another,” included me being kind to me, I was floored! I never realized that I was sinning against God by being so unkind to myself.

    God has helped me with this throughout the years, but right now I am not doing as much as I used to. Because I tend to wrongly think that God looks with more favor on those who “do” more ministry or “bigger” ministry jobs, my opinion of myself falters.

    However, I have a list from a Bible study that I review every day that help to remind of who I am in Christ and what that means practically speaking. And I ask God for help to know and feel the truths of who I am all the time! I review all the facts of my being adopted, accepted, loved, chosen, forgiven, etc. etc. Along with thanking God for all that, journaling about what He has done for me that day, praying, and trying to spend time with friends who love Him, too, it is growing to help me more and more.

    Thanks for the post today and blessings to you!

  77. I have been REALLY struggling with my self image both inside and outside lately. I am amazed each day how God is helping me through this. 2 days ago I was talking with my mother in-law. (I love her so much). She reminded me how much God loves me. Sending his Son to die on the cross for me. What a powerful love, to do something like that for me. If God thinks I am worth all that. Than I shouldn’t be so hard on my self. He has me right were I need to be. It really hit home with me. I must have some self worth if God would do all that. Sometimes you need to stop and reflex on the postitive things.

  78. This has been the most difficult, lifelong thing I have struggled in doing. 68 years old; a happy childhood except for the fact I felt unloved and certainly never considered that I could love myself. God has pulled me from death’s door four times in my life up to this point. Then a dream, walking on the beach in the sun, smelling the salt water and I was not alone anymore. There was another set of footprints beside my own. I knew who it was, couldn’t raise my head to look into His face. Just content to walk quietly beside Him. Then suddenly we were on a rocky path and I was left among many people yelling. I still couldn’t look up. I just stared at the rocks. Suddenly red drops were splashing off the rocks onto my feet and legs, eventually covering me. Then the first sound in the dream…..a dragging across the rocks. The red blood was streaming all around me. I did look up that time, and saw Him there unrecognizable, torn like a shredded blanket with that tree fashioned into a cross over His shoulders with another man helping him bear the heavy weight. He wispered to me, TO ME…”This is how much I love you”. Since then I am making some progress in loving me. If He loved me that much, why can’t I love myself. Why do I slip so often. But progress is being made and I thank you for letting me voice this dream to you today. It is part of my testimony and experience with Jesus Christ, my Savior.

  79. I continue to struggle with what I can get done in a day not so much my body image. I continually feel I fall short.

  80. I can say that Praise God! that my struggle with selfishness has been delivered through prayer and healing from generational sin. It still tries to creep in, but God’s gift of the Holy Spirit is always so good to smile and I can say Oops! and not allow selfishnesses ugliness to have its way with me. Your words from God for encouragement and love have such a healing syrum to my soul. I see that I can love myself only through the power of the Holy Spirit, which in turn gives me great joy to love on others and serve them. I am so very thankful for my Lord and Savior who without hesitation took himself, selflessly to the cross, to show me how much He loves me and how I should love myself, before I can truly love others. I am not perfect, mind you, I have still so much healing to be done from my critical attitude and so many other unpleasant things that like to take hold and go for a ride, but I am so very thankful that I am a work in progress. This gives me such hope and joy and excitment on this amazing ride with my friend, Jesus.

  81. Part of my not liking myself comes from not really knowing myself – what do I like, what do I believe, why am I here, etc? It is way too easy to just get caught up in daily life at a high-level, that there is no time to really dig deep into things. As someone else pointed out, Satan is very good at what he does – keeping us distracted from what’s really important – our relationship with Jesus!

  82. I struggle daily with truly loving myself…seeing myself as God sees me. I taped Psalm.45:11 on my mirror that says “The King is enthralled with your beauty.” As a reminder to me.

  83. The Westminster Shorter Catechism states that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. I most times enjoy the gifts, but forget the Giver, thus negating where the glory really lies. But, this brings me evermore reliant on my Savior, with mindful gratefulness for His propitiation, and more thankful to the Holy Spirit for the little nudges of reminders of His Word.

  84. prayers, and friends help. I struggle every single day — my self esteem is for naught. Thankful for friends who lift me up … and for a Father in heaven that loves every single part of me … even when I cannot.

  85. I am so focused on my wrinkles, the weight that is a constant battle to lose, my clothes not fitting just right, etc., etc., etc… I get discouraged with my body image more than my “Christ” image. How do you “exercise” your heart more than working out these sagging muscles – prayer!?! I struggle with having lost my identical twin sister and what went to heaven with her – someone that loved and believed in me the most.

    Thank you for your daily encouragement, thanks for listening. And Harriet, that was a beautiful dream – we are loved – we just forget how much.

  86. I struggle with feeling like a loser, not being good enough, not being the person that I want to be. I know the truth. It is written lightly in my head. But instead of focusing on the truth, my mind just keeps repeating my list of failures. Sometimes I stand up to the lies and remind myself that I am a child and creation of God, of Psalm 139, that the voice of condemnation that I hear is from the enemy. I need to become more familiar with God’s word and read and study daily. and to think about it often so that I’m hearing God’s voice more than Satan’s.

  87. We are “accepted in the beloved” ~ we are “created in Christ Jesus unto good works.” Why do we find it so hard to accept ourselves ~ I think because we don’t view ourselves IN CHRIST JESUS. Our “belief” stops short of truly seeing ourselves in our redeemed state! Lord, give me the faith to truly “plant my feet” on your words and promises about who I really AM now ~ faith that works itself out through my whole being to your glory.

  88. When I think about what the scripture says in Gen 1:26 when God said we are made in his image, it incourages me because God doesn’t make junk. We have to renew our mind in the word of God and find ourselves in the Word. God is love and when I think about this love, he wants me to love me. We are all reflections of this wonderful love.
    Everyday we have to nourish this love, so we can share with others. This love is all about God. He owns us and everything in this world. It is all good when you think love, why, because God is love.

  89. As an aging “young” fisrt-time grammy who is disabled with a couple of illnesses, it is very hard for me to see any beauty in me. I have been learning that it is truly the love of God that can make my face, and my life shine—often not with the piercing of bright noon time sun, but with the soft gentle light of the evening sun. It is then that God reminds me that there are people who need to rest in the comfort of soft light and tender love.

    No matter at what wattage our light shines, it is still the beauty of Christ that is being seen.

  90. It is hard to love me when I see the sagging face, (and other unmentionable areas!) 😉

    But, I have to keep going back to his Word, where HE says, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made….”

    How can I argue with that?

  91. I do struggle with this. I am not longer a young woman – and as I grow older and more seasoned, I am reminded of the Proverb “charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting.” It seems the outward beauty flees faster every day. Yet I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God has ordained EVERY day of my life and he has a purpose and a plan for ME – and a woman who loves the Lord absolutely GLOWS from the inside out. Rather than focus on the outward me – and the occasionally unlovely inside of me – I focus on who I am in Christ. And I let him love me right where I am. There is freedom in growing older – Thank you, Jesus!

  92. Thank you for reminding me that God made me – just who I am, ALL of me! God is the one who I want most to please. People misunderstand me, but God knows the motives behind what I do. It helps when I look into the Word, which gives freedom, and seek to BE what God wants me to BE.

  93. How timely. Thank you for writing this “out loud”. It helps the words go in deeply and change me. That book is now on my list to buy!

  94. What if you were so broken physically and subsequently emotionally and spiritually that you did not know how to fix yourself or how God would fix you? I was like that…suffering from intense physical pain which made me think terrible and ungodly thoughts. As God healed through his Word, which I read lying down on the sofa through words read by a narrator and which appeared as an open book on my TV screen…as God healed me, still leaving lingering aches and pains, He reassured me in my thoughts, that He would teach me how to take care of myself through spiritual and also earthly means… doctors, medicine, exercise. I am still on that journey. But as I was getting better and feeling so good, I noticed that I didn’t look all that well. He was healing me from the inside out and I was in process. That’s when I started to love me with the extra weight and the not so good looking face and body. I knew my outer core would catch up with my spirit and ever brightening emotions and sense of well-being. That’s a miracle of being literally healed through God’s word.

  95. It’s difficult to love myself when I think about how often I put myself before God and the needs of others, BUT when I remind myself that JESUS LOVES ME, I find hope and am able to see myself in light of His great sacrifice and love for me. That motivates me to put Him and the needs of others before mine.

  96. It is fascinating to read this over my lunch break. I was leaving work and finding myself thinking “but would ______ really want to spend time with me?” (last I heard they did.) I realized I was biting into a lie and the Holy Spirit brought some of who I am in Christ to my mind. The one which really stuck out to me is “I belong to God.” That is unconditional love and security. I am choosing truth when the enemy and the flesh would want to wear me down. “God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

  97. Oh, this is a huge struggle for me. “Sisters, let’s love who we are so the reflection in the mirror isn’t the one that matters most; instead it’s the reflection in our hearts of the one who made us–every part.” Love that and want that.

  98. I used to struggle with loving myself . . . until God got ahold of my heart and said Listen. . . you can either believe me or not – I said you were created in My image, Fearfully and Wonderfully made – so whenever a little thought tries to come that doesn’t agree with that – its got to go. Now that I can love myself I can love on others even more!!:)
    I bought Annie’s book for my daughter’s Christmas stocking!!:) it is amazing!

  99. Deb, I’m right with you sister! It’s a daily struggle to believe God has a divine purpose for even me. How can He love me so much to trust me to be a reflection of Him! I feel so unworthy most of the time. I am so greatful for encouragement and prayers of other sisters like myself. I love the Lord and so glad He loves me “Just As I Am” !

  100. Thank you once again for sharing. Sounds like an incredible book that each of us can benefit from. There are times when I HAVE felt this security in God’s love, but it really depends on what I am feeding my spirit and my thoughts.
    Thanks again and God bless !

  101. We are our own hardest critics – at least I am, and it seems lots of other women too. I would love to love myself like God does . . . it would free me to love others too.

  102. I understand “love your neighbor as yourself”, as take care of your neighbor the same way you take care of yourself……when you are hungry, you get food……if they are, give them food also……Dying to self is what I have trouble with…….and how we become like Jesus……never remember him “loving himself”……but loved us to die for us……..

  103. This in an awsome book and I pray that I will be selected to win a copy on Saturday. I am so not loving the woman in the mirror at times but reading just the introduction to this book I see my help and hope to start loving ego. Its not that it is impossible to love myself but I just need to know Jesus loves me better than I do and so I must start loving myself.

  104. Honestly I rarely look in the mirror except to comb my hair and put on lip color.
    The person I want to see is a lot younger than the 60 year old me and weighs half as much. For the first 47 years of my life I was a spoiled only-child and a pampered indulged wife. Then I was left alone.
    In the past 3 years I’ve come so much closer to Jesus due mostly to the influence of a friend who’s become my spiritual advisor. Now I know I know Who’s important in my life and Who doesn’t care how much I weigh. My heart literally beats faster when I ask Him to come to my heart and bring me to His. How wonderful it is to know that He loves me even if I can’t believe anyone else could ever love me again.
    hope you all have a Blessed day warmed by His Love

  105. Oh totally, what woman doesn’t? Whenever I look in the mirror it’s hard to look at my good qualities-my pretty eyes and long eyelashes-instead of my pimples and bedhead 🙂 I would love a copy of your book!

  106. Loving myself is something I have struggled with for a very long time. I know the we are told to but I guess I fear becoming arrogant. Please pray that I am able to overcome this issue and become the real me He has designed.

  107. like every woman, i struggle with letting me love me. Sometimes i feel i’m so flawed that if i do love myself i might never begin to change some things that need changing in my personality, sometimes i’m afraid to admit that i love myself fearing that it might be selfish, might even take away from the love that i’m meant to give others. only recently i realised that you can ONLY love others when you learn to understand, accept and love yourself!
    If the Almighty God has created me and loves me from the bottom of His heart, thats reason enough for me to love myself!

  108. I struggle with body issues and they seem to make me have self worth issues. I know that I am precious to God and I just have to get that message from my head to my heart 🙂

    A verse that helps: Psalm 139:14
    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

    Please note that I’m not to praise myself because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I’m to praise God!

  109. Oh, this is so hard. I definitely spend time with my journal and my bible and my Jesus, which comforts and affirms like nothing else. But I also have made it a discipline to treat myself lovingly, even if I don’t feel loving toward myself. I figure that is a step in the right direction. So I remind myself all day long: “going for a walk is a way to love yourself” “use the fancy bath soap as a way to love yourself” “wear cozy socks today to love yourself” “stop working for 15 minutes this afternoon and have a cup of tea as a way to love yourself”. My husband grieves over my difficulty in loving myself and he is so gentle and affirming and encourages this sort of thing. If I take a nap during the day, I often feel guilty, but he says, “Oh, good! I love it when you rest and give yourself a break.” I do think these little actions help. It reinforces the message that I deserve love.

  110. This really hits home as all of my 62 years, I’ve struggled with loving myself – just as I am. I’ve was born with some kind of skin issue that was treated with a blue cream of some kind and I had a lot of body hair – so that is the story in my mind that my Mom told everyone…I looked like a chubby little blue monkey! I’ve even told the story and laughed at myself – but as others laughed along with me, I was still hurting inside. I’ve always struggled with weight and had a sister who had the body of a model, so my perception of myself has never been one of loving me for who I am. I do appreciate my mind, but never my body. Thank you for this post. It is working as a wake up call that God made me, exactly who I am – mind, soul and body – and I’m going to try and look at myself as God does.

  111. I was alway told from my earliest memories by words and actions that I wasnt worth loving and I believed it and never learned how to love myself, have self esteem or even self worth. I am still in the battle to learn and accept God loves me and wants me to love myself and believe I am worth loving and that I am valuable to Him. It wasnt until I accepted Jesus that I have been able to even come close to believeing I am valuable and worth loving. A battle, loads of tears, but one I am still and will be engaged in until I win.

  112. I would love to see myself more as God sees me, I dont love myself, sometimes I can like myself but not often. My arms have scars where I cut myself because of how much I hate myself, the way I look on the outsie and how I am inside. Yet God has given me a wonderul husband, friends and a great pastor who are all helping me see that Im not what I thinnk I am. Some days I cope, others I dont, prayer always helps aloong with big hugs from God. I must look to see if I can buy the book in the UK, it sounds brilliant

  113. I am 74 years old – went through a divorce last year – after 54 years?!?!?
    I still don’t know what happened – Carl just got bitter and bitter and finally wanted out!!!
    I look at myself now and HATE Me!!! I am ugly!!! I don’t care what I look like anymore!!!
    I use to work at looking nice for Carl – but now…………It’s just HARD!!!
    I am praying, reading my Bible and trying One Day At A Time!!! Pray for Faith, Peace and Patience!!!!
    I want to be like I use to be, but it’s HARD!!!!
    Please pray for me!!!
    Enjoyed your article – read it daily!!!!

    • Carolyn, we’re all ugly without Jesus. Isaiah 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband” He is the rebuilder of walls, of restoring desolate places….I said a prayer for you. For His Love to be revealed and show how precious you are to Him, a gem in His eye and how beautiful is a whole heart is that seeks Him.

  114. Since I’ve battled perfectionism most of my life, I find it difficult at times to love me the way God does. I have been caught in the trap of measuring my beauty by my looks. This measuring rod is especially defeating as I get older. What has helped me is to remember this truth my loving Father has whispered to me: “A body doing my will is beautiful to Me.”

  115. Thanks so much for this post today. It is really hard to see the good in ourselves. I’m trying to decide what is ahead now that the ‘kids’ are out of college and young adults with their own lives. I pray that God helps me open the next door.

  116. Ooo this is so hard, isn’t it?
    I struggle to love myself after the most important person to me, my best friend, my husband, told me I wasn’t lovely, wasn’t worth anything and threw me out like a rag doll for another…

    I bear scars and worries and questions each day to His throne and wonder if He’s able to tell me truth.

    What works? The daily graces from Him to keep breathing and pressing forward. I try and replace each lie with a truth from His word but thats hard. Requires deep mental ability and trust. I try….

  117. I have not even thought about lovin myself. As i read this a confused thought crossed my mind and i began to think about it, i have five needy kids and a very needy husband that i devote my entire time caring for and lovin them. The more i thought about it i don’t like myself let alone love myself. I believe God does and it simple to say i am beautiful in his eyes but deep down i don’t see what there is to love. I have always seen it as a fathers love, like how i love my children no matter what and to me they are beautiful to me… But besides my devotion and faith (inside) i do not feel beautiful or worthy of his love! Wow that is not an easy thought to swallow i don’t know how to even begin…

  118. God made me……….and because of that, I know I am physically a reflection of Him. So whatever my physical attributes are, I know He made them perfectly. And I know He gave me a pure heart and soul when I was born, both which have been exposed to the good, bad and ugly things of life. Much love, much frustration, much hurt. After reading the book “Self Talk, Soul Talk” by Jennifer Rothschild, I learned that what I allow into my heart and mind are what’s going to come out, it’s what will be in my thoughts. So I strive to fill myself with God’s word, Christ’s love and grace, and remain open to whatever the Holy Spirit needs me to do. It’s a daily task, sometimes an hourly one, always deliberate one. Let’s all love ourselves as God loves us, even if it’s not easy! Blessings!


  120. I struggle everyday to see that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”. At times, all I can see is the overweight, controlling, perfectionist person I am and can be. Thanks for this wonderful reminder, it helps me to know that I AM loved and I can change my weight and attitude with God’s help.

    Thank You


  121. We are all created by God to fulfill His plan and mission here on earth. Once we realize that we don’t own ourselves and stop trying to control everything, we then begin to allow God into our lives to direct it. With God’s direction you can’t go wrong. I think it is also important to remember that the way we look: fat or thin, tall or short, beautiful or not so beautiful, has no relevance to how God sees us or to our salvation. It is better to focus your energy and efforts an the mission God has for your life, instead of worrying about something that in the end does not matter.

  122. Yes yes yes….some days more than others…but every day in some ways those self depricating thoughts creep in. It used to be mainly focused on my physical appearance…wishing I could be one of those lucky women whose thighs don’t touch and who can bend over without feeling a belly bulge! But now as I have become a mother…the self doubts extend so much deeper….am I doing the best for them every day…am I choosing the right discipline methods…etc etc etc. The verse I am standing on is Romans 4:20,21 “No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that He was able to do what He promised” I know that even though I distrust myself at times…there is nothing that will make God’s promises to me waver….I must be FULLY CONVINCED that He is ABLE and that He will make me into the woman He created me to be!

  123. Yes, actually, I have struggled with this – and at times still do. I’m learning so much about it, too.
    For example, I find it extremely hard to love others WELL when I don’t love myself. The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. But if you don’t love yourself well, you can’t love your neighbor well…right?

    When I’m constantly down on myself for making mistakes, I find that I am constantly down on others for making mistakes. It’s a horrible, vicious cycle.

    This is where I’m learning to receive grace. If I cannot receive grace from God, it’s really hard to extend it to others. (I wrote a post about it here, actually! “Grace is A Gift, But You Have to Receive It”).

    Thank you so much for this Holley.

  124. WOW.. just the little bit you quoted from her book made me want to buy one. I most definitely struggle with loving me. I am sure every woman does. For me… I have to remind myself that God Loves me as me…. He created me… He knows exactly where I am at every given moment… I have to remind myself that I am a work in progress and He Knows that and Loves me anyway. I have to remind myself not to look at the negative or the struggles I go through but to look to Him and stay in His Word so that I don’t tear myself down. I think reading all the different blogs is what is encouragin too. To read others sturggles and even their happy moments or the encouragment they give is always helpful. To know that I am not the only one going through struggles. As always Holly…. I am blessed with how God speaks through you to me.

  125. Thank you for the wonderful encouragement!!! I do find it hard especially on days like today when I’m feeling a bit lonely and sad because then it is easier for Satan’s subtle ways to encroach upon my thoughts and make me think I’m not worthy. But we all are worthy and loved with God!!

  126. Abuse leaves ugly wounds and scars in anyone. Living in the world and not being of it is a constant struggle. Remembering God loves us without us having to earn is a needful reminder. Currently I deal with loving myself badly. I seldom give me a break although like you I give them to others all of the time. I wonder if this is an effort to do unto others because it is what I want and need from me. The only time I stop and ponder it is when I read posts like these, hear it in God’s Word, or out of the mouth of one of His servants. My most fervent prayers are having a word in due season for the weary (including me), and to learn to love myself so I can love others. Thanks for your words. I do hope I win the book, but if not it sounds like one for my library. By the way, You are wonderful too!

  127. I struggle with my weight, as a sign of my obedience to and freedom in Christ. My daughter struggles with herself also, and she’s 10 (not her weight but her self-image). I’d love to read the book with her perhaps.

  128. I won’t lie to you folks. Last year was the toughest year of my life. Bad decisions, worse regrets. But I guess if you’re gonna have regrets anyway, I’d rather regret something I did do, instead of something I didn’t do. I’ve worked hard to put the past in the past and forgive myself. I’ve worked really hard, gone out and gotten myself a great job, and rebuilt my self-esteem from the ground up. I’m astonished at the lengths God has gone to in my life to show me that all is forgiven. That I am truly His cherished, beloved daughter. It’s funny….ironic funny, not haha funny…you pray and pray and pray….pray without ceasing…and then you’re surprised when your prayers are answered. And not JUST answered, but , in my case, abundently, pressed down, shaken together and overflowingly answered. I think that in some small room in my heart, I had locked away a tiny doubt. Doubt that I was worthy of having my prayers answered. But God’s love has opened up that room. He shined His magnificent light and love into that tiny room and removed all doubt, all fear. I sat down for lunch with an old friend yesterday. She said, “you’re glowing”. What is it she wanted to know. I replied, “It’s the joy of the Lord.” Keep praying, keep hoping, keep believing in faith…because there is nothing finer than knowing that you are a child of the Most High God, and it shows inside and out.

  129. I finally realized after 60 years that it is not about who I am, but about who HE is, and HE is love.

  130. I was divorced and remarried 3 years ago. I know my husband is the most tender and loving man yet in my mind I struggle with thoughts of what if this marriage would end in divorce when there are no reasons for that to happen. I honestly think it is mostly because I am approaching 60 and seeing changes in my body that I never believed would happen. I recently had to quit my job because of issues with my neck. This seems to have made me feel less of a woman and co-provider. But on the positive side, I am getting ready (next week) to start another “Beth Moore” bible study. The first one that I did led me to marry again. I am excited to study with Beth again. This will be my third study with her and every time I have a wonderful transformation about an issue. Now if I can just get past the external changes and hang on to the beautiful comments my husband says about my heart, then I will have made one more step to being the woman Christ wants me to be! Why are we so hard on our selves?????? 🙂

  131. When I take my eyes off living for purpose and living joy-fully, that’s when I lose sight of the truth that my specific weight and size and attitude-at-the-moment matter more than they do. It’s my heart that matters most. So much that’s out of my control leads my imperfect self to want more, to wish I could do better, and to feel regretful that I can’t. But I can’t and so I surrender to what God really wants of me. And that’s beautiful. It’s the specific gifts He’s given me – the things I can do in a way unlike any other – that when I step out in courage and trust that He’ll enable me, beauty grows.

  132. This is a very good question and as I think about it, no there is alot I don’t like about myself. Like being swayed easily, saying i’m going to change this or that and do nothing. God is opening my eyes to these and alot other things I don’t like. The one verse He keeps giving me over and over is NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH HIM AND ALSO HE IS IN ME SO HOW CAN I FELL. I’m trying to start memorising scripture, which isn’t easy cause i’m on alot of different medications that makes this hard but once again NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD so i’m learning. Some days are better than others but I always try to put that scripture in front of me as I start the day. Blessing Donna

  133. I sometimes find it difficult,depending on the mood I’m in and the reactions of those around me. But at other times I think that if God made me in his own image and I love him I should also love myself, this feeling last for a while until the next time the doubts rear their ugly head .

  134. My life scripture is Proverbs 3:5,6, given to me immediately after I accepted Jesus as Saviour. I then began a lifelong journey to trust Him as my Lord. So part of trusting Jesus as Lord is believing what He says, everything. He says He loves me and I believe Him. He also tells me to love others as I love myself; so to me that means I love myself. He told me that, so I believe that I love myself. I am a sanguine temperament, kinda quirky, not a supermodel type, not perfect by any stretch of the imagination–but I so enjoy the me that God made. Sticking with God’s word helps me tremendously on my melencholy days. From Genesis to Revelation, I am reminded that I was created in His image, planned for, provided for, died for, indwelt, and will be retrieved to live eternally with Him. I came to Jesus because He loves me, not because I am perfect but because to Him I am valuable. I love myself because Jesus taught me that I am a woman of great price–and I love myself by faith.

  135. I sometimes find it difficult,depending on the mood I’m in and the reactions of those around me. But at other times I think that if God made me in his own image and I love him I should also love myself, this feeling last for a while until the next time the doubts rear their ugly head .

  136. It is good to really think about what it means to love oneself. Too often we do for others and not ourselves. I need to take care of me too – God has been encouraging me in this area. Thanks for your thoughts!!!!

  137. I find it very hard to love me. I have felt from a young age unworthy of love from anyone much less myself. I have always felt like I was never good enough for love or to be myself. My past has damaged me, but I had finally gotten to the point and could see myself through God’s eye’s. Then this year hit me hard, my husband of 26 years decided that nothing about me was pleasing and started having an affair. So the loving me part is difficult, but the love of Christian friends and my long look back at where God has been in my life reminds me that I am worthy of love from God first and then myself. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have a lot to offer and a deep knowledge of God’s comfort to share. I know that all I have been through will be for comforting others as I have been comforted and loved by God.

  138. I can relate to what so many wrote esp Kiersten J. After having a total of 5 back surgeries over the past several yrs and now disabled, unable to work, unable to contribute to the financial burdens that places on a family struggling to get by on the income of two but still unable to draw disability, I feel so inadequate,so unloveable. If I don’t love me why should anyone else. I KNOW that’s NOT God’s purpose for my life but that is why I am here.. reading sites like dear, sweet Holley and others like her write. To in courage 🙂 people like me that I AM LOVED. God loved me so much HE gave HIS ONE and ONLY SON SO I COULD HAVE ETERNAL LIFE…I have no right to feel this way, all I need to do is think of how Jesus suffered and what HE did. Thank you God for loving a sinner like me and for all the Holley’s who care about all of us.

  139. No matter your age it’s easy to be critical of oneself. However ladies we need to remember we are the temple of God and He only occupies the best temples. He made them! He’s cleaning the inside and will give us new glorious bodies based on these He created when He returns. Smile when you look in the mirror you are the temple of God and He loves you

  140. Yes, I struggle. I have been writing quite a bit about my issues on my blog lately. Loving all of me is a great goal to strive for, but I’m not confident I can do it.

  141. I was put down a great deal by my Mum during all the years of her life, and consequently I grew up with a really poor self-image and I didn’t like myself at all. Eventually I reached rock bottom – a really lonely place. It was at that time I turned to the many promises in the Scripture where God assured me I was chosen, loved, redeemed, valued, of great worth, etc., and I memorized many of these. During the day I would repeat these Scriptures over and over in my mind. I also searched the web for a positive and uplifting quote each day. I memorized many of them too. As I changed my thinking, so my attitude towards myself slowly changed. I realized that I could change the way I felt about myself by changing the way I THOUGHT first of all. It is what we dwell upon that makes such a difference.
    Thank you, Holley, for this timely reminder. At the start of this year I shall now renew my desire to spend more time thinking about how God sees me, others, and the whole world, for he loves everything that is. God bless you!

  142. I have been following Jesus many years (over 25) but it has only been in the past 6 years that I have begun to really truly believe that I am my beloveds and He thinks I am fine. I am certainly not perfect but I do try to become a bit better each day.
    I have made mistakes and said things I later regretted. I have put on some weight that seems to want to all go around my middle!
    Now that I am in my fifties I think I am able to accept my physical body for what it is. My husband loves me still after 33 years and my grandchildren think I am wonderful. Their unconditional love to me is a great reflection of the Father’s love and gives me a sense of security in being who I am. It is good to think that God loves me because that is his nature and his love is not dependent on whether I am feeling lovable.

  143. Thank you so much for this honest post! I think this is something that is so hard to discuss… why can’t we just love ourselves and see the greatness in what God has made us to be? This is definitely something that I am working on and I would love to win the book!! I just wish I could give it to everyone that comments on this post too! Thanks for your openness and care to write something like this 🙂

  144. It is hard to love yourself when you see all your flaw and are looking from a human perspective. I long to see me through God’s eyes the way he sees me. It is easy to believe that God loves others. It is harder to take that head knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge. But I know the Bible says that God delights in me! That is enough for me. 🙂

  145. This blog brought me to heart-tears. You know, the kind that may not spill out onto your cheeks but you can feel warming the insides of soul? I know we all struggle with this issue of loving ourselves, and I am so grateful that someone is taking it beyond our physical characteristics and into the very nature of our being. Recently, God placed these verses on my heart as encouragement to my own struggle with self-love (I’ll admit, taken slightly out of context… but I find the Bible sometimes has a way of molding itself to touch our unique hurts… it is, after all, the Living Word of God):

    “For who do you know that really knows YOU, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn’t everything you HAVE and everything you ARE sheer gifts from God? So what’s the point of all this comparing and competing? You already have all you need.” 1 Corinthians 4:7-8 (Message)

  146. Just read today about how God can change us when He gets us alone with Him–still pondering this idea and now the addition of how that relates to “loving all of me.”

  147. What helps me is something I heard at a women’s retreat a few years ago. We were sitting at tables, and the speaker had us put our elbows on the table, and our hands cupped from our chins onto our faces. She said, “See how close your hands are to your face? That’s how close God is to you, ALL THE TIME.” Whenever I feel alone or that God doesn’t care or unlovely in any way, I remind myself of this imagery. Someone who chooses to be THAT CLOSE to me ALL THE TIME not finding me lovely? There’s no way!

  148. I especially struggle loving myself when I’ve had a frustrating “battle” with my toddler. In the moments when I revert to toddler like behaviour myself, then inevitably, the remorse settles in and I’m full of self recrimination. When will I act the part of the adult and extend grace to my little girl? Then I get defensive when my husband defends her to me, like it’s a competition. These are the hardest times to love myself.

  149. Oh what a word in season does to the soul!!! Thank you sooo much! My challenge this year is to become more confident of Who I am in HIM and have struggled all my life with this exact issue…loving myself. It is so easy for me to forgive others and love them but to be able to love me…that is difficult. I do exactly what you said with thinking immediately of all the wrong choices i’ve made and how i’ve let people down and how I feel I fall short of deserving His best for me…as tears flow I am slowly beginning to realize that I need to love me as He loves me. once again i thank you and pray that you will be blessed more than you ever know!!!

  150. It’s always hardest to love ourselves. But the Bible clearly tells us to love others as we love ourselves. but I admit that I have a hard time with this one.

  151. Loving me? Hard to do after 4 marriages, 3 lost babies, and so much more. It seems like my sins have been so public that I cannot erase them like God does.

    And yet, here I am. Described as faithful and loving by my friends; always there and believing in them by my children; hugging and enjoying all of my grandchildren. That is how they see me. A loving daughter, mom, sister, cousin, wife, daughter-in-law, employee, co-worker, and volunteer.

    I love as much of me as I can, and leave the rest to God.

  152. I struggle with this something fierce. I wonder how in the world God can love me when all I see is failure and struggle. But I keep reminding myself that God created this body – He has a plan for me and wants me to keep growing closer to Him.

  153. All through my childhood and adulthood as well, my mother told me nearly every day that she wished she had never given birth to me. I have always asked God why He gave me to her if she didn’t want or love me. How can I love myself when my own mother didn’t? I wasn’t there with her when she passed away and the guilt I feel is awful. Please help me sort this out.

  154. God has brought me so far in experiencing how He sees me. Clarity has come as I seek Him. Not just reading or learning about Him….but actually in times of intimate encounter with Him . As I draw near, He draws near and tells me secrets like “You are beautifully and wonderfully made,” “You are the apple of my eye,” ” I’ve created you as my masterpiece.” “I am so pleased with you.” I’ve read these words in the Bible and been taught them all my life, but when I slow down and spend time with Him, and listen to Him, something in me shifts. My spirit aligns with His. It is a miracle. Out of these sweet words, flows the river of life that can heal the nations.

  155. As I read your post today I thought of my sweet friend (who’s birthday happens to be today). How she would benefit from reading this book. She loves the Lord & lives in His service, but has struggled with her weight for years. Please pray for her. Thank you for your words of encouragement. God bless-

  156. I am 82 and it’s too late for me to change. I have always been shy and aware of my short comings in comparison to siblings and friends. Recently widowed and wondering what to do with the rest of my life I seem to be pressured to volunteer and commit to things I no longer can or wish to do. I think if I hear the words “You should ‘ one more time I will scream and scare my very close neighbours. Well meaning relatives seem to think it time to list my shortcomings and indicate how disappointed they are with me. My sister says, “If only you would be NORMAL!’
    (What is normal?)
    If only people would love me for how God made me! Did God make me normal and I have messed things up all by myself?


  157. Thanks for the reminder that we need to look at ourselves (the imperfections which we see in our physical bodies) through Gods eyes and not the worlds eyes!

  158. What an encouragment! I’m used to thinking that it’s prideful to love myself but I’m learning that it takes humility to see and accept myself as God does.

  159. I struggle daily with feeling worthless. My self confidence is nill and always has been. I can do for others but don’t like to let others do for me cause always feel undeserving. I have a college education, raised a wonderful son, been married 25 years and still feel lousy bout myself. Just the way I am.

  160. Love yourself first before you can love others, they say.
    I tend to do things for others to make myself valuable for them. I am always struggling with my self-value. Somehow, this helps. But when the things I did were not valuable for them, my self-worth plummets and self pity takes over.
    I was wrong.
    All of my efforts which I thought we’re not valuable for them registered in their hearts. Later on or when a situation comes up, some people tell me how I touched their lives.
    All is well, I told myself. I am good, and I can do good. I am a gift to myself and I wanna share the gift of me with others.

  161. It IS a daily stuggle to see ourselves through the eyes of the Lord (we ARE valuable to Him) and not only through our human eyes. I try to keep my focus on the verses that state that God created us for a purpose…to praise Him!! Keeping the main thing…the main thing.
    Love the verses that others have listed. I need to keep in the Word and remind myself daily that I am worth it.

  162. I struggle with comparing myself to people. I want the gifts and talents that they have. I start to over look my gifts because I see everything I lack. I want to love myself better!

  163. I had a boyfriend who was bipolar. He had low self esteem, and was embarrassed about his disorder. I would tell he needs to accept himself and love himself.He asked me if I loved myself. I told him I did-He could never understand that. I told him that God loves me, and God is in me, so I love me. Not in the narcisstic way, of course. I am just happy with who I am, though I have made mistakes on my journey-I have forgiven me. and try to learn and grow from those mistakes…and be more like God/Jesus.

  164. I send up a special prayer for each and every “child of God”.I understand how it feels to feel inadiquit and that your just not all you should be to God.But God takes even the foolish things of this world and uses them for his purpose and will.I look at myself daily and say”You need to lose weight,you need to serve more and give more,you need to stop judgeing others,love more,do more etc…….But then God reminds me that I am the Apple of his eye,I am his beloved,I am a joint heir,I am a princess a daughter of the king and then I stop and say to myself”I am all he wants me to be,only God can make me more.I’m the only one that tries to make myself less.He loves you all just the way you are,you should too!!!

  165. As an encourager, I try to say all the right things, and try to get others to see the beauty that Christ created them with. What people don’t know about me is that I struggle with forgiving myself of my past and accepting that Christ has forgiven me and sees me through the blood of Jesus. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I know that I am created after his image; but I don’t always love myself like the bible commands me to. I work hard in my professional life, and yet my personal life is lacking. Thank you for this forum, and for reminding me that I am loved; that I am lovely, and that I am forgiven!

  166. I find it hard to love myself, but as I get deeper in the Bible I have learned to be less critical of myself. I don’t even seem to concentrate on my weight as much since I am concentrating on his Word.

  167. I have struggled with my self image all of my life. As I have grown in the Lord he has challenged me in different ways to step out and believe who he says that I am. I am definately still on the journey to discovering who he created me to be and to live in his unconditonal love and grace. I think that Satan convinces us that the lies are truth and we get confussed about really is true. As I have sought out truth, in his word and in counseling God has helped me to see more clearly. One of the questions my counselor to me to ask myself was from Genesis 3… After Adam and Eve eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they are hiding when God comes to walk with them in the garden. Adam tells God that he is hiding because he is naked and God asks him, “Who told you you were naked?” The question that we need to ask ourselves is who told us_______? It really makes you look and see…truth or lie.

  168. You are so right! It is so easy to see the beauty in others, but in me??? That’s another story! I do find that the more I compliment others the more it changes my demeanor, even toward myself.

  169. Loving myself has been a journey. In the words of Jesus, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Most often it is easier to love my neighbor. However, Jesus also said that “The truth will set you free.” When I was able to look at the truth that I am created in the image and likeness of God, it was the beginning of this love journey. I am not perfect, and God knows that, and yet, God always encourages me to let go of those parts that I dislike and embrace the better parts. When I realize that all of me are the better parts, I am better able to accept myself as I am. I have become more patient with myself as I value myself enough to set boundaries for those who are nearest to me as I know that I am worthy of good treatment; to allow myself to enjoy the things that bring me happiness; to pray with positive expectations, and to be open to waiting for the best which is yet to come.

  170. I do struggle, and seem to hold back on even accepting myself until………… until I lose weight, until I am more honest, more disciplined, more tidy, more talented………….. and I am just tired.

  171. Yes I have struggled with loving myself but through time and a lot of thinking I have realized that I’m beautiful inside and out. God has sent people in my life to also remind me of that and just knowing that He doesn’t make mistakes gives me peace 🙂

  172. It can be such an emotional rollercoaster to know how to think of ones self. The world tells us to be positive, you are beautiful on the inside. But if you think too highly then you are conceited and vain. The other world tells us the way to think is to think ugly, to focus on our flaws because we can’t live up. but if you think too lowly you are insecure. I think we have to remember that God made us exactly the way we are, flaws, imperfections and beautiful features because that is how he sees beauty in us. He doesn’t want us to be focused on the physical. He wants us to praise him whether we have a acne or a perfectly arched eyebrow. We are to praise God and love others.

  173. How I wish I didn’t struggle with this, but I really do!! Thanks for yet another awesome post.:)

  174. As I read the comments I was struck by how masterfully satan has deceived us…..how craftily he has accused us and we have branded ourselves guilty. For many years I struggled to be satisfied with how I looked and who I was. BUT, God is his grace used a couple of things to bring me true and lasting healing.

    1. After a study of scripture, I never found specific descritptions of the outward appearance of a woman…except in SOS where it talks about her hair being like a flock of goats. 🙂 Occasionally scripture says “she was beautiful to look upon”, but nothing more specific. We have allowed culture to determine outward beauty and it is SO unrealistic!

    2. Eph 2:10 For we are His workmanship (masterpiece) created in Christ Jesus to do the good works that He prepared in advance for us to do.

    Praying for peace!

  175. This is so difficult that I just have a weak little answer. I am responding with the hopes of winning the book…

    I can say one thing. I know God has given me gifts, and that I love those gifts and they bring me pleasure. Those gifts, right now, are all I love about me. So, until I learn how it’s possible to love myself in a sinless fashion, this is all I can say!

  176. I struggle with my appearance. I struggle with feeling loved and accepted. I struggled with thoughts of “unwantedness.”
    What helps me is (surprise, surprise) reading God’s word. Simple I know. Cliche I know. But true. So very very true.
    The world tells us what it thinks of us. It’s seen in people’s critical stares and on the pages of beauty magazines. I’m exposed to the world and its “word” for so many hours a day. And when I feel unloved etc I read God’s word. It takes the focus off myself and off what people are saying and doing around me. And puts it onto God- who he is, who I am IN Him and what He is doing all around us.
    Hallalujah 🙂

  177. What a marvelous God we serve!!!! It seems like just when I need to hear something…He sends it right to me…even right into my e-mail inbox. Loving others as we love ourselves???? Hmmmm….what a great question…can I love myself? I, too, often look in the mirror…in fact, don’t even have to look there at all…to create a list of all the things I see as imperfections, flaws, things to improve upon. If only I could learn to believe it as easily as I can tell others that GOD made ME!!!! and through my flaws and imperfections HIS glory can shine. Not I, but Christ that lives in me. Ohhh, if only I could live my life based on this premise…if only I could look in the mirror and remember it.

  178. I find it hard to love myself. I really need this book! I agree with what you wrote about finding others much easier to love than myself. This has to do with self-esteem. I have been hearing God telling my “Live in My Love for you, Trust in My Love for you, I will not forsake you” for at least 7 or 8 years and I still have trouble to do this. This quote is God’s will for my life. THanks for this. b

  179. Yes I do struggle with loving the way God has made me. I’ve seen over the years how God has grown me so much in this area…believing lies about myself only led me into so much pain, depression, and loneliness…but walking in His truth has become just so much better, and more desirable- It is there that I find genuine LIFE, FREEDOM, and FUN!!!

  180. I find it very hard to love myself at times, because of my flaws. Then I think back to so many years ago when I was first saved, and remember what the Lord spoke to my heart . That I can love myself and others, because He first loved me, and that I can only love myself and others with the love that He so freely gives me. It always reminds me of a song that I use to sing a lot , but haven’t for awhile, The Lords words, “Freely freely you have received, freely freely give: Go in my name and because you believe, others will know that I live”. May God freely bless you all in this coming year. I would like to ask you all to look up a few of my favorite scripture verses that God has made alive for me. Please read Lamentations,3; 21-26, T hey will truly be a blessing to you. Your sister in Christ, Mary Ann.

  181. I head back to one of my favorite, much-read bible verses straight from David’s mouth, a man after God’s own heart, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14). Even with all David’s flaws (and we (I) know there were many) David knew without a shadow of a doubt how God saw him and that is all that matters.

  182. Months after the death of our daughter, I was in my living room, grieving and remembering all my failures! Harsh words, critical comments, failure to reach out in love even when she was rebelling because I was afraid of being hurt…again. The list was endless, the guilt and sorrow unbearable, and I told the Lord I just didn’t see how He could love me. He spoke so gently to my heart, “Nancy Jo, what was Rebekah like? What was living with her through her rebellion like?” I cried, “Oh, Lord, it was terrible!! She was so mean, so self-centered, so unkind, so ungrateful.” “And how do you feel about her?”, the Lord asked. “Oh Father God, I love her with all my heart. I miss her terribly. I don’t even think about those negative times, I just want to love on her again.” And the Lord’s response to my heart, “My beloved child, if this is how you, an imperfect human, feel about your child, Rebekah, how do you think I, Almighty God, feel about you, who are my beloved child and my very own creation?” This was so releasing to me. I can love myself because my God loves me, failures and all! I can love myself because God is working in me to make me more and more like Jesus, Whom I love with all my heart! Only by loving myself can I do my part in allowing God to transform me into a child who bears the image of her Father. I am reminded that love is a choice, a deliberate action, NOT a feeling. I choose to love myself because the Bible says I am to love that which God loves, and He loves me!! The Bible tells me so!

  183. Having decided to stay home for more than 10 years to raise my two girls, finally getting a part-time job (though not at all in my field) after searching for 2 years and now unexpectedly expecting another baby, my sense of “Who I Am” is constantly changing (and not always looked upon by myself as “good” or “worthy”). This sounds like just the book I need to be reading now as I prepare to be a mother to an infant once again.

  184. Just this morning I had the thoughts sinking in: what if God really doesn’t even “like” me? What if that is the truth? Wondering about how some people are “chosen” while others seem to drift to the sidelines. Maybe I was taking for granted that God loved me…even if it seems like the world doesn’t want anything to do with me. God speaks through others, right? He lives in us…then what does it mean to be so rejected by others in relationships – friendships & romantic? I really wish I had something to say that would help others and myself with this idea of loving yourself/myself, When I read the Bible verses quoted, I think that they couldn’t possibly relate to me. I want to know Him so badly and to feel His love, but I keep coming up with a very isolated feeling. And since this hasn’t been changing, I’m wondering if He’s given up on me. I’m sure He loves all of you…..but I’m not so sure about myself anymore.

  185. When I read this I thought this is me in the mirror. I never thought about loving myself more so that I could love my neighbor more. Thank you! I had along time learning to like myself, only throughout God did I learn that!

  186. Like so many of the comments above, loving myself is a huge struggle some days. Other days, I can begin to see myself through God’s loving and forgiving eyes… He has been good to me in so many ways. One day when I was feeling down on myself, I made a comment about my “deficiencies” and a co-worker told me he never wanted to hear me say something like that again, that it’s not true… what a reminder of God’s grace! This came from a man, no less!!! and, one that had just recently met Jesus… God used him to remind me of His truth. That gracious and friendly rebuke has stayed with me and often comes to mind when I start to say or think something negative about myself. This man has no idea what a gift he gave me that day.

  187. Holley and Annie,
    This sounds like an amazing book. The coment that God sees me different than I do when I look in the mirror always pricks my heart, that my heart is hurting and not thinking there is hope. Past mistakes, things I got into that God tried to keep me from. Strong-willed, wanting my own way, determined, has really hurt God and His Son, and the Holy Spirit and Father, oh, and me and my family. How can the inside change? Only with Jesus’ Spirit in it. Come Holy Spirit then, I need you to change my heart and mind.
    My comment is always different. Everyone has God’s Spirit in their hearts. Why is there only me and why do I comment if I know there’s no place for me here? Tomorrow I can go to a ladies brunch with a missions speaker. Why go, they are all saved there too?
    I don’t see hope, I just don’t. I can’t do it alone. I just can’t.

  188. Romans 12
    2 “Be not conformed to this world but, be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, {by the washing of the “Living Water/ The Word}That ye may know what is that good and acceptable and the perfect will of God. 3 Do not think more highly of yourself than you ought but soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man a measure of faith….5 So we being many are one body, in Christ, and every one members of one another.

    Phillipians 4:7,11amp

    7 “And God’s peace [be yours, that “tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transends all understanding, shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
    11 “…that I may learn, In whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
    My pray is that the Holy Spirit will inscribe these words to your hearts and minds with in-lightening revelations for each as needed. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

    In the 51 years that God has allowed me the priviledge to live, I ‘ve had many a trial and affliction. They drew me closer to Him and His Word. In the beginning my self image and selfesteem were at rock bottom. As I read and studied his Word my thought patterns and views began to change. I know that in my flesh dwelleth no good thing, but in my spirit, Praise God, dwells the Spirit of the Living God. Colossians , “…I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless it is no longer I, but Christ that lives inside. ” Ask the Lord to make His Word real to you! He will,” If we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us.” When negative thoughts and insecurities arise rebuke it and cast it back into the pit. Speak the Word over yourself (ie. “I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ! I buried an 18 year old son at 39, It was one of the toughest things I have experienced in my life. In 2006, I had two spinal surgeries. I have 2 artificial disc in the lower back and 7 months later a donor disc and metal plating in the neck. Fractured both legs in 2008 2 months apart as a result of all of this I am about 50lbs heavier than I use to be but Gods grace was/is more than sufficient in the midst of it all! I said all of this to say in a nut shell, Trust God, Trust and Believe His Living Word, apply it to your mind bind it to areas of lack, doubt insecurities. If we delight ourselves in the Lord, submit/commit our ways to Him than He shall give us the desires of our hearts. (ie. weight-loss, our part is to work toward those goals, most likely it didn’t happen overnight so we can’t expect to lose it overnight, however I do believe God could even do that , If He willed it!) His Word will Be a light unto our path and a Lamp unto our feet but we still have to pick it up, read/ study it ( ask for divine insight “eyes to see and ears to hear, what the Spirit is saying…) Then we have to bind that to our hearts, speak it out of our mouths apply it to our lives and strive to live by it to the Glory of God! We can Love ourselves with the Love of Christ being shed abroad in our hearts. Be the best you, uniquely special and one of a kind as God intended. If the idea was for us to be just alike He would have designed us that way. The gifting you see in others is yours too! Why?? WE ARE ONE! Our purpose and function are not the same, so embrace your differences even if they vary from time to time. Be who He uniquely designed you to be!

  189. I struggle with not seeing myself as “important” as what I am. I am a Pastor’s Wife who continually does everything for the church congregation. I play piano, teach Sunday School class, teach youth group on Wednesday nights, get church dinners ready, run errands…. the whole shabang! What do I get in exchange for all of it? A Church congregation that mumbles and grumbles that this is wrong or that could have been done better. I let it get to me and tell myself I’m not good enough or cut out for this. This morning I was reminded that the Lord sees ME… knows my hard work and although it might be taken for granted down here, He’s seeing it all. I have a new sense that it doesn’t matter what others think, I’m doing my work for the Kingdom of God and it IS making a difference! <3

  190. Wow! I wish I had a dollar for every time I looked in the mirror… Growing up in a family with one boy and five girls, I remember my mother telling my sisters and I not to forget to wear our lipstick in public because we never knew who we might run into. We are created in His image and if we could only remember to say those words “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” and remember that there is now therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus… we would get a taste of just how much He loves us.

  191. Dear Holley & Annie,
    I Thank God for the precious gifts He’s given each of you to encourage & nourish all of our hearts & minds. God Bless You!!
    This morning I read through the comment list and wondered what I might add. I too have believed the lies of the enemy of my soul & it has devastated my life for decades.
    Right now the Holy Spirit of God prompted me to share His Truth to each of YOU** The LORD created me in His image {insert your name}, He loves me with His everlasting love, He delights in me, I am Precious in His sight … These are the WORDS of our ABBA FATHER TO US–PURE & TRUE. How can we break the cycle of despising ourselves?

  192. I’ve struggled with this issue of self image and loving myself. Everyone “out there” seems to have it all ….then I think, they maybe struggling, too…. inwardly.
    How I came to terms with loving myself, is the knowing that God loves me unconditionally; whether I am fat, thin; blond, brunette; whether I am doing His work or caught up in some activity ; whether my mouth is busy with just worldly words, or praising Him in prayer. But I do know I can bring joy to Him, too, as I tread on the path Jesus has set before me. His love is unconditional. I was created in His image. God is my ALL.

  193. Loving myself has been challenge over the years. Growing up with a father who beat me and found fault with everything I did or said made me feel like I was nothing. After receiving Jesus into my heart in 1984 at the age of 23 I finally realized I no longer belonged to the bondages of sin and lies that had held me down all those years. It has taken years to crawl out of that miserable place. When I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2004, my surrender to that battle of self loathing was turned over to the Lord. I sat on the edge of my bed one Saturday night with a syringe in hand to inject myself with the medicine prescribed for the MS and I just couldn’t do it by myself.
    I didn’t feel as if I were worthy to be loved by another human because my own dad couldn’t even love me. I always felt as if I were on my own to do whatever needed to be done. I was trying to prove myself worthy by being the caregiver, nurturer, and being in control of my life kind of gal, so I wouldn’t let anyone help me. My husband and children wanted to help but I didn’t want to fail them or let them down by not doing it by myself. That night I layed in my bed just wanting to crawl out of my skin. I remember God talking to me and I felt and knew his presence was in the room with me, calling me to jump in his lap and let him love me and take care of me. I remember the fight like it was a tug of war between me and him. I couldn’t sleep or get comfortable. I finally gave in. I jumped up in his lap that night. He told my how much he loved me and what an amazing woman I had become. He told me he was proud of me and that I was not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well. I told him I didn’t feel that I was and that I fell short so many times everyday. He said, “I look at your spirit and that’s where your beauty comes from.”

    I haven’t mastered loving myself on a daily basis yet, but I’m getting closer everyday. My Savior gave his life me because he loved me that much. In respect to his sacrifice, I need to love myself as well as others. Having MS taught me a great deal about myself, the Lord and my family. Jesus set the example. I in my relationship with my maker, I closer than I ever imagined and I grown closer each day. There are days when I “feel” ugly. I’m sure there are those who can identify with me. What amazes me the most is the fact that I am loved by God and many other people and it’s not because I’m pretty on the outside. It’s because he made me!

  194. I think it’s finally sinking in that God has made me beautiful! It helps to be in God’s word and to Believe Him. Not just to believe IN Him, but to BELIEVE HIM when he says “you are fearfully and wonderfully made”. I’ve taken it seriously now, and realized I have failed to implement proper “self-care” into my life. God has blessed me by arranging things in my life in such a way that I am learning what it is to eat well, exercise and sleep enough. It’s not easy, but it is definitely helping me be more alert to What God is whispering to me about myself and HIs body, the church. Praise Him for the glorious and wonderful grace he has lavished on us, and the chance to always start over.

  195. I know the feelings and struggles that Robin goes through. I, too, was abused by my father, but sexually, and I grew with the feeling that I was “trash.” Throught the years, I have improved, but still there are days when I don’t love myself as I should, especially with a husband who makes me feel bad about myself most of the time. I know that God hears my prayers and I just keep praying and standing up to those feelings of self-loathing. Thanks for your words that help. Kaye

  196. Hi Holly,
    God is so good to make this a topic. I have been praying that God would help me to see myself as He sees me, because I have struggled greatly with not liking what or who I see when I look in the mirror. I have also projected those thoughts about myself on to others. So thank you for this article and I will go buy this book if I do not win it. It seems to be a part of the answer to my prayers.


  197. Do you struggle with loving who you are, inside or out?
    YES !
    What helps you?
    At this point – nothing!

  198. All of my life I had difficulty loving who I am inside and out. As a child I was led to believe I was worthless. There was a period in my life when I thought I would overcome this obstacle when I met my husband, however, I got sick. Now I am unable to work due to illness. Therefore, I have more difficulty loving myself inside and out. I have my pity parties I guess you could say. I pray and I feel better temporarily. I worship in church and at home. I feel better temporarily. I still do not love myself inside or out. I want to be happy, and I am not happy. I do not know how to be happy and how to love myself inside and out. I am miserable, my life is miserable. The only sparks in my life knowing that I have God and my family here.

  199. Yes, I struggle. 🙁 It has been my goal for many months now, to make a list of “25 things I love about myself” – so that I will have something to refer to when I forget. After all this time, I have managed to come up with two. It helps, I think, to have people who remind us of who we are in Christ, and/or how he has made us (individually) special.

  200. It’s amazing to me how I can be away from this site for a while and come back to it and find something that speaks so directly to my heart. “How can I love me…” That is a question I am praying about. I’m working mostly on being okay where I am/who I am, which is a good place to start…

  201. Yes, this is me, feeling insecure about myself and my abilities. What helps me is blocking out the false voices of the world and listening only to the voice of my Savior.

  202. It is important to remind myself that I am royalty. I recall the Word, hug myself and get on with my day.

  203. It is sooo hard to love ourselves. I think (and I may be wrong) but since we are made “in his image” which I have been taught is actually the spirit in us is IN his image, then when God sees us, He doesn’t see the broken human flesh but the beautiful spirit within us that is renewed by Christ’s blood and washed clean. When we look at the soul and not our broken flesh, it’s pretty amazing because it is Christ in us. When I look at others and really look past their outsides, I can usually see goodness. When we focus on the light of eternity, and not so much on our passing flesh, we can really stay focused on what’s truly important. Not what stares back in the mirror.

  204. It really helps me to remember how far I’ve come. For example, I used to stuff my feelings by binge eating, but now I feel them and try to work through them. Also, I try to remind myself of what true beauty is, the unfading beauty of our inner character that is precious in God’s sight. Thanks for speaking on this topic!

  205. I have been battling a eating disorder and suicidal thoughts for the most part of my life… After almost 15 years of inner healing and prayer, I have come to realise that a lack of self-acceptance and love springs from deep seated rejection and an orphan spirit that may have been inherited from childhood. Once I tackled these issues I was more fully able to love and accept myself unconditionally. At the same time, knowing that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by my Creator means that if I did not love what I saw in the mirror, I would be insulting my God. He loves me just the way He created me – unique and in His eyes, flawless. So I should love me too… 🙂 With this mind I am no longer handicapped by my lack of self-worth and can chase the God-sized dreams I hold in my heart! Am expectant for so much more in 2011 – Am not going to hobble along anymore but run towards the finishing line! God is not my crutch; He is my strength! 🙂

  206. Ever since I can remember I have always found it hard to look at myself in the mirror. From the time I started wearing glasses to the weight I have put on through the years I just couldn’t bear to look at myself. Then recently I was inspired to write this poem and I have now been able to look at myself in the mirror and start to see what He sees in me.
    In my light there is darkness
    In my life I say I have no darkness that I only have the light within me
    But who am I to kid when I have these feelings
    I only kid myself because He sees my darkness and knows it’s there
    My feelings of self worth
    My feelings of doubt and shame
    I’ve tried to hide them and bury them as deep as my being will let me
    He knows they are there
    This is where the darkness meets the light and the healing will begin
    His light will shine on my darkness and show me my darkness can become light
    He walks with me and talks with me and tells me let the healing begin
    In my confessing and His healing my darkness is now His light
    Let the healing begin!

  207. Wow! this hit home for me… I struggle with this a lot.
    I’m always comparing myself to others. It helps me to cry out
    to the LORD when I’m feeling this way. It’s nice to know
    I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Thank you all who are honest
    and open.

  208. My friend, Betty, sends me your daily devotions and even gave me your “Rain on Me” book as a Christmas gift. You are such a blessing to me! Yes, I still struggle, in many areas including (and maybe especially) this area of loving myself, but your devotions truly help me through my day. I have even forwarded some of messages on to my husband. I also share some of the “Rain on Me” book with him. Thank you so much for all you do.

  209. I needed to read this today. At times when my pain is so bad, I find it very hard to love the body that is attacking me.

  210. I struggle constantly with loving my entire self. I always have and I probably always will. I am more accepting of myself than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go.

  211. I am my own worst enemy! I’ve never felt worthy of love. The magnitude of God’s love is overwhelming. How can He love me so much?! I have to remind myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s grace is what keeps me going. I pray that one day God will let me see myself through His eyes, and one day He will bring someone that I can give my love to and will love and cherish me in return. In His name.

  212. I literally have hated myself many days I am ashamed to say. I have suffered with an eating disorder that almost killed me and skin rashes from extreme sensitivity. I have wanted to rip off my flesh because of the difficulty of having to take care of it. I am ashamed of this because I know and love God and am the first person to be accepting to others yet doing it for myself is very difficult. Plus i’m in a industry that tells me I need to be perfect. A dear friend of mine told me to speak words of love to my body so that it would no longer be distressed. and I have been trying that with affirming words and prayer but sometimes I have wished God would just start me over and put me out.
    I am going to get this book. thank you for your honesty.
    Please pray for my healing. Body, mind and spirit.

  213. I never realized that I felt so unworthy of love from anyone, and unable to take a compliment until God orchestrated a Bible study for me a my local church. This study called me out and made me take a long look at myself. I could finally see that God found me worthy not only of His love, but worthy to truly forgive my trespasses toward him, others and myself. Praise God! For the first time in my life, I am free to come into his presence with true thanksgiving, and praise and I am free to forgive others their trespasses toward me. I am still a work in progress, but I am more in love with Jesus now than ever before!

    As I am learning to forgive myself, it is freeing me up to forgive others. Praise His Holy Name!

  214. I battle a lot with my self-image…I get really depressed about how I look, and I also get depressed about the way I’m acting…Sometimes I don’t think I act like a Daughter of God…I do so many things wrong. I don’t get into anything sinful, but I just don’t show the love that A daughter of God should…and I so, say, and just act…wrong! But then I come to think that satan is making me think that…making me think I’m ugly, and that I’m not worthy of being a Daughter of God…but then thinking and reading my Bible…it just made me think……God DIED for me…for ALL my sins, and I believe He loves me just the way I am, and He was human once! So He understands the hurt and pain I go through…the things I do wrong, but He forgives me!!! I feel convicted about about what I do and say wrong, and I try to do well, and I ask God for His help, because I can’t do anything without His help!! Then He comes to show me that He’s with me, and helping me through everything I do…just reading all your amazing posts, and hearing encouragement from so many different people…just shows me He IS really their for me 🙂 I love Him so much!!! Whenever I feel down, I just need to read one of your encouragement posts, and it makes me feel so much better!! Thank you so much for all you do for all your blog followers!! 🙂

    God bless!

  215. Physically, there’s always been something I pick apart about myself. Standing in front of my mirror, I see the flaws that frustrate me, but then I remember I was designed by my Lord, and I smile & thank Him, (wrinkles and sags seem to disappear when I smile). I realize my body, HIS temple, is a vessel to walk, talk, sing His praises, and share salvation. It’s easy to compare yourself with others in this day and age, but long ago, a friend shared with me: Galations 5:26 b That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each is an original.
    II Corinthians 10:12 states: We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
    Let me always remember that Lord! A proverbs woman has no fear of old age.

  216. After many years, what broke through my ‘protection’ barriers was the Lord speaking to me through the book of Isaiah, where I learnt about the Father heart of God when, over and over, He ministered to me as ‘O daughter of Zion’; precious to Him, accepted by Him, loved by Him, with all my failings, hangups and insecurities. Thank you, my Lord. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, amazing in Your sight. O, how you have taught me to love and accept myself and others, no black or white areas but lots of grey. Keep on teaching me, my Lord. xx

  217. After many years of being targeted; of not being the person everyone else envisioned (“perfect”), I have and still at times find it difficult to see my self worth. Who knows if I’ve made God happy?! I would certainly hope so! Thank you for this kind reminder. I believe this book would benefit me and uplift me in my spirits!

  218. I have always struggled with loving myself…and continue to. The other day with my devotions it dawned on my that I am not going to change myself…only allowing my Lord within me to make any changes in my life is the only way it’s going to happen.

  219. I find it difficult to love myself, to see me as God see’s me. I tend to need approval and so many times seek the approval of others. I sometimes remind myself that God created me in love and I don’t have to seek His approval, because while I was a sinner Christ died for me. I know it to be true but sometimes it’s hard for me to believe it.

  220. We constantly “miss things” and fail to see them as God sees them, but to refuse to see beauty in what HE has CREATED is just a sin! I’ve been learning this the hard, slow way and mostly in front of the mirror. Selfishness and a healthy self-image which understands that God’s hand designed us are two very different—near-opposite things!

    Can’t wait to read the book,

  221. Oh yes, I struggle with loving myself. Reading my bible and spending time with faith-filled women help me to see that I am worthy of love.

  222. “Love your neighbor as yourself”, I don’t know how to love myself, how can I love my neighbor? Am I loving my neighbor the way I love myself? I hope not. I know I am a nice person but I want to see myself the way God sees me. I get caught up in feeling guilty for not seeing myself the way He does. I love Him with all my heart and want to serve him and reflect his love and joy.

  223. hI hOLLY
    I am writing this comment today with joy because I am learning to love myself. Your daily post is helping me to do so and I thank you. I would love to recieve a free copy of ‘From Head to Foot”. I know I can really love myself but it is taking so long. Trust I am bless enough to be chosen to receive one. Thank You

    “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians13:12 NIV

    I pinch my cheeks to bring life
    to my face and gaze at my reflection in the mirror.
    I wonder why I so often find
    only ugliness when I look inside.
    I see the misshapen warts of pride and envy,
    the dark circles of disobedience under my eyes.

    I read that You see beauty in me, Father,
    and I wonder how.
    But then, Your mirror is different from mine.
    Your eyes see me through Your creative process…
    knowing what is real and what is imaginary,
    what you are making of me.

    I look and see the evil queen;
    You look through Jesus’ blood and see…
    Snow White.

    Somehow could I reflect to others
    what You see in me
    in the mirror of Your heart?

  225. I look and see all of my flaws- my extra weight and my wrinkles. But then I realize if God can “overlook” these, than I certainly can. We look at the outside of ourselves, but God looks at our hearts. I am making changes for the better this year and making God my main focus and my everything. I no longer do anything without first “checking” with Him.

  226. Thanks a lot for your sharing.

    I was so depressed by myself for all the mistakes and wrongs I did.

    God has just breathed into me thru the words. I’m alive again.


  227. Yes, I struggle with seeing myself as God does. I can’t even begin to imagine what He thinks when He looks at me. I know I am loved, I know I am cherished. There are times my niece questions me about God, Sin, and self….and I am so positive in the way I answer her…telling her of her perfection in God. Telling her how much God adores and loves her…and it always stops me in my tracks. “If I am so certain of God’s love for her….why do I question His love for me?” It eases my heart and mind…it is an eye opening moment.

  228. I’m my own worst critic. I easily tear myself down even though I give my all to everyone else.

    I’m trying to break this destructive habit.

    Your blog helps a lot with this. Then I try to do the same to others through my words on my blog.

  229. Well, I’m too late to win a free book, but wanted to post anyway.

    Thanks for the very important reminder to love ourselves. I’m alot like you Holly in that I can pour out loads of encouragement for others but all too often see myself as not very loveable.

    Beth Moore’s book called Praying God’s Word has helped me alot. She has a chapter on “Feeling Unloved.”

    My goal this year is to meditate more on scripture that validate who I am in God – who we all are.

    Thanks for the post and for letting me know about the Head to Toe book.

  230. Thanks Holley. This is amazing, and so are everyone’s comments. I pray to look to God whenever I am overly self-critical, yearning to hear that I am being ridiculous. God is perfect, and he created me in His image. That’s mind-blowing, but true. I hope we can all find inner peace through His Word. In Jesus’ name, Amen.