We ALL have something. THE something. The one thing that defines a season (or seasons) in your life. On more than one occasion I have heard a lady give her testimony in which she says (I’m paraphrasing):
There WILL come a time in your life when it comes down to just you and God.
The first couple of times I heard her say that I couldn’t imagine what would bring me to a point where it came down to just God and me.
For the first 30 years of my life, God was my “spare tire.” When I needed Him, I’d find Him and use Him. Otherwise, I just tried (unsuccessfully) to be a “good girl” in order to make God happy. I’ve never had an immediate family member die. I never had to deal with my parents divorcing. Pretty much, life rolled along with somewhat normal ups and downs until I hit 30. I never realized I needed Him every second of every day.
My crisis came halfway through my 30th year. I was 33 and a half before I experienced complete healing. It was during that time period that it came down to just God and me. No one else could rid me of the unhealthy emotions that were my constant companions. I had a choice to make: let God deal with me, my sin and my emotions, or bury them and go on as though my crisis never happened. I chose to let God heal me, no matter what. I didn’t set limitations on His healing. I didn’t ask God to heal me only if…nobody found out, it didn’t hurt, I didn’t lose everything. The truth is people did find out, it did hurt, and I did experience loss. But the healing was worth it.
There comes a time when we must let God deal with us, with our SOMETHING. If left buried, it festers, becomes bigger and takes over every area of our lives. It affects our relationships, our sleeping and eating habits, our work, our ministry…EVERY area. Like a wound that’s left untreated, it becomes infected and spreads. However, when treated, it eventually turns into a scar that is the proof of healing.
I’ve decided that scars are beautiful. I know mine is.
It’s my proof and reminder that it came down to just God and me, and God made beauty from ashes.
It’s my proof and reminder that I need Him every second of every day.
By Rebekah, http://rebekahgilbert.blogspot.com/
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Amen and amen. What wise and beautiful words Rebekah. I was 26 before I allowed God to come into my junk and rid me of it. The guilt, shame, hurt. This post describes my life the past year and you’re so right, I wouldn’t trade my healed scars for anything in the world. There’s beauty in the breaking. So much beauty.
Thanks for sharing!!!
P.S. What a GREAT name you have 😉
Rebekah, I love that you love your scars! And I love that you spell your name the same way I spell mine!….I don’t find too many!
Isn’t it interesting that the same age as Jesus was at 33 you found him. Your choice was solid and from your heart. The scars we were given are symbols for us to remember where we came from, and where we are headed towards. They are not negative they are a reminder of who the great healer was for us when our scars wanted to break us. Your beauty is in your story. Keep sharing.
Sharon, thank you! I think at first I saw them as negative, but I’ve come to understand that scars have stories behind them…and they usually are stories of survival! Love it!
🙂 A scar takes on a new meaning after a true healing. Savoring your words, powerful and true.
Marilyn, I agree! Thank you for your sweet comment!
A scar is a beautiful thing. Great job bloggy friend. To completely give can make you completely renewed. Beautiful. 🙂
Thanks, girl! Glad you’re my blogging friend…we really should meet in person!
Rebekah,
Thank you. I have had a year like that as well… this is my 30th year of life and the hardest ever. I needed to hear these things, to know that someone else made it through as well. I’ve been reaching and leaning on God more now than ever and even though it’s some of the hardest times ever I know that leaning on him and learning from it makes it all worth it in the end. Even though he would never have had me go down that path to beging with.
Again thank you for writing this.
Leanna, I’m glad just a snippet of my story helped you. I didn’t know anyone who had made it through and was healed. I read a lot of books by people who’d experienced healing, but had no one to converse with. It makes all the difference in the world to know someone who has made it to the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope and pray God places someone in your life to be that encourager to you! Thank you for your comment and honesty!
I love this, Rebekah! What a testimony of chosing healing over ignoring, real over fake. You beautifully detail how doing this is not only possible, but so beneficial. And as one girl who has a few scars, I find that so comforting. Thank you!
Kristen, I’m glad you can identify! I lived the first 33 and half years of my life as a fake with a plastic smile. No more! The past 2 years have been the most enjoyable of my life…even with scars that appear as though they should ruin me. What Satan intended to destroy, God is using for good!
Oh how God loves to heal us and set us free. It is so hard to step into the pain, but joy comes in the morning!
I love your comment….”joy comes in the morning!”
Thank you for this. I shared with friends who are going through a rough time right now. Sometimes those scars are beauty marks, friend.
Bill Gothard calls them “marks of ownership”. I like that!
I like that too!
I agree. . .scars are beautiful, and they make us who we are.
i guess i have an internal wound that is in the process or healing into a scar. i’m at the place now where it’s just me and god but i’m not sure what to do with it. there’s a lot of anger. i’m just as you described…”tried (unsuccessfully) to be a “good girl” in order to make God happy. I’ve never had an immediate family member die. I never had to deal with my parents divorcing. Pretty much, life rolled along with somewhat normal ups and downs until I hit 30. I never realized I needed Him every second of every day.”
this past year i’ve been hit hard with some life punches. i’m convinced that having him with me every thought of the day is what gives life meaning.
this blog has been a huge encouragement in this time of my life. i don’t read it every day but then when i do sit down to read all 20+ i start to wish that i would have read them every day. thanks for letting god use you.
Thank you, Grace. I hope one day you’ll be able to look back at this time of healing and realize what a beautiful experience it was. It’s kind of like childbirth: while in the process of labor, you swear you’ll never do it again because it’s so painful; but when you’re holding that beautiful baby, you forget the pain and realize the beauty that came from it. I’m so glad you have this blog to give you encouragement. I’m convinced that reading/hearing the stories of others who’ve been through similar circumstances are a balm to our wounds. It helps to know we’re not alone!
There’s just something about a woman turning 30, isn’t there? I’ve heard from many women who also were in their early 30s when God took them and broke them into a million pieces and then rebuilt them as a temple of His glory.
When I hear a woman is about to turn 30, I want to clutch her hand and warn her. It will be hard, sister. There will be scars. But by His wounds, our scars will be HEALED.
Missy, that’s funny, yet so true! It never fails that when I hear of someone turning 30, I kind of cringe on the inside, and think how that was the worst year of my life! I don’t want to put a damper on someone’s birthday, but I have the same reaction as you! Love your comment!!
Wow, thank you so much for your encouraging words. Such a great reminder. I was recently attacked by a past boyfriend, and have really struggled to be my “old self” since the attack. I have leaned on God and His love, his protection. But have really struggled. I thank God for showing me this in such a hard time in my life.