My daughter is obsessed with snow. She absolutely cannot wait for the possibility of it. She asked me recently how snow is made…I told her that when it starts to get rainy and it’s really, really cold, then the rain turns to snow. (A meteorologist, I am not.) So any time it’s cold and rainy now, she expects snow.
We were leaving a friend’s house the other day and she was mad about having to get in the car…she wanted to stay outside. When I asked why, she said that it was going to rain soon. I told her, “Baby, it’s going to rain, not snow. It’s not cold enough for snow.”
She hopped in the car, and then looked me in the eye and said, “Mommy, are you God?” Puzzled, I replied, “No, God is God.” She looked at me smugly and said, “That’s right. And God makes those decisions, not you.”
Rebuked by my four year-old.
After a humbling drive home, I realized how much truth her words spoke to me. God makes those decisions, not me. And not just about snow.
As I’ve pondered over that little exchange with her, I began to realize I have been making a lot of my own decisions lately. Not intentionally or maliciously…they have been innocently made, based on logic, wisdom and reality. They’ve been made with “common sense.” Yet in the process of walking out the events of the past year, I have made decisions about the outcome of all of it. I put God in my box. My little, unbelieving box. And God…gracious, tender, sweet God…let me make my own decisions.
Last year we planned to get pregnant on a trip to Italy. We thought we were finally ready, and the timing was perfect. And it happened. The conditions were right for snow. And then I miscarried.
After I recovered from the miscarriage, I thought I would bounce right back to normal after two weeks off. I figured I had enough time to grieve. And as soon as I went back to work I shelved every emotion and moved on. Too warm to snow. And then I suffered from depression for about six months.
We decided we were ready to try again. And we did. And it happened. And I thought the conditions were perfect for snow. And then I miscarried again.
Other events recently have begun to swirl around me like a tornado. I’ve gotten swept up in it. I’ve been swayed like a reed. I’ve tried to determine the outcome. It’s raining, but not cold enough for snow.
But finally…praise God for finally…I’m starting to get the message God has been trying to send: Stop telling Me what to do.
I am not accusing God of causing these negative outcomes. Life happens. But in my quest to figure out what God is trying to say in the middle of it all, the message to me is now clear: “Stop deciding whether or not it can snow. I, and I alone make those decisions. My job is to make snow. Yours is to simply enjoy it when it does.”
I’m prayerful about everything, but I honestly have to say I don’t know that I’ve been prayerful enough. Sometimes it’s easy to be hyper-spiritual and use it as a crutch to avoid making decisions. But sometimes…well, sometimes it’s just easier to rely on wisdom alone and take action when maybe all that’s needed is more prayer.
I find it ironic that God used snow in this lesson from Jaana. Her birthday is in February, and when I was pregnant with her it was unusually cold in February for Georgia. Like Jaana, I’ve always loved snow, and moving from Washington to Georgia, I missed winter. So the last few weeks of pregnancy, I prayed and prayed that God would make it snow when she was born.
She was born at 9:58 pm on February 25. And by the time they moved us into our recovery room, just before midnight, Greg pulled back the shades and said, “Honey, look.” I looked, and it was dumping snow. I mean dumping! There was so much snow that schools and offices were closed the next day.
All I had done was ask that it snow…and he answered my prayer. But lately I haven’t even been asking, so he can’t answer. I’m deciding it just can’t. I’m deciding it’s too warm to snow in my family. I’m deciding it’s not cold enough to snow in my profession. I’m deciding there isn’t enough precipitation for it to snow in my passions, desires and gifts.
I have gotten so caught up in logic, reality and circumstances that I have truly forgotten that God is God. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. God can do anything he wants, at any time he wants. And if that means making it snow on December 10 in Georgia, then bring it on. It is out of my control.
Thank God it’s out of my control.
by Monica Steely, Elevate Ideas
Leave a Comment
Nikole Hahn says
What a beautiful story!
Monica says
Thanks Nikole, I appreciate it!
April says
I love this post…I can imagine that many times in my life, even recently, God has looked at me and said, “Stop telling me what to do.” And your line, “But lately I haven’t even been asking, so he can’t answer.” can be so true of me as well. I think we get wrapped up in our daily lives and think we have it all under control that we forget to ask. This is a great reminder!
Stacy says
Can I just ditto what you wrote? wow, I needed this reminder. I’ve had four miscarriages in less than a year. We’ve tried obsessively controlling the situation with every possible intervention, we’ve completely left it up to faith and put it in God’s hands, we’ve even taken the middle ground. Still no snow, and I have been so afraid to pray for snow! I am afraid that my prayer won’t be answered… pregnant again and holding my breath. Maybe it’s time to get on my knees.
Monica says
Stacy,
Thank you so much for the transparency of your comment. My heart breaks for you having experienced the heartache of four miscarriages. I don’t know much, but I do know God has an amazing way of threading together our tragedies and tears into very beautiful moments and experiences. As I wrote, I understand the fear of asking for snow. To me, though, the sweetest thing about God is that He knows how scary it is. And whether He makes snow for us or not, He will still bring showers…but they will be showers of love, peace and grace.
I will pray for you as you walk down this path for the fifth time. Please let me know how things go.
Love, Monica
Monica says
Thanks April! It’s something I pretty much need to stick on the bathroom mirror as a daily reminder. Blessings to you!
Jason says
This is a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant post. I’m glad April linked it. My problem has been responding to “Stop telling Me what to do” with an “OK, then do something already!” Then when I don’t see anything happening in the areas were I want God to move, I take it back and think that He’s not lowering the temp enough to snow.
Monica says
Thank you so much Jason! I really appreciate your comment. Blessings!
Holley Gerth says
Letting go of control. Surrender. So hard…and yet, ironically, the only real way to freedom for our hearts. Taking a deep breath and leaning into Jesus again. Thanks for this reminder, Monica!
Monica says
Thanks Holley!
Jeri @godsdreamsforme says
What beautiful and freeing insight. God is God. God Can! Praying so he can answer. Wow!
Deb says
I received a similar rebuke from my 4 year old son this week. We adopted our son 4 years ago and 3 years ago we applied for a second adoption. We are still waiting for our 2nd child. A couple weeks ago I felt like giving up and just accepting that God wanted us to have 1 child.
In the kitchen one night I said to my son, “you are such a wonderful gift and if God chooses that you are the only child I ever have, I am so blessed.” I thought this was a good statement until my son replied:
“Mom! God is God!”
I realized that I was not showing contentment (as I thought), but a lack of faith in what I know God has called our family to do.
God has not forgotten us–He still speaks to us through our little ones!
Joy says
You have no idea how I needed to hear this message today. After some unwelcomed news following tests at the hospital yesterday, I had already decided the results and was planning how I was going to handle the diagnosis. I only saw “rain”, not “snow”. Even though conditions point to “rain”, a flurry of “snow” is still possible. So, instead of carrying an umbrella, I’m going grab my mitts, and wait expectantly.
Thank you for the hope…and for letting me see that “rain” is not the end of the story…even if it does come.
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matthew 6 v34, The Message
Blessings to you,
Joy
PS. I hope it’s ok…I gave a link to this post on my Facebook page 🙂
Monica says
Joy, my prayers are with you as you move forward during this journey! I love that verse you quoted from the Message version…”don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.” The “may or may not” stops me dead in my tracks every time. I’ll be waiting expectantly with my mittens on too. Please let me know how you’re doing! Monica
Joy says
Wow! This is so beautiful and convicting and challenging and encouraging…all wrapped up into one stunning post. Thank you for this profound reminder!
Caroline says
I’ve found myself trying to take action rather than wait on God’s timing. His perfect timing is always the best option. Yet it takes renewal, focus, and reminders like your post to get my focus on what I think I have to handle and give it to Him! Thank you for this post.
Monica says
Thanks Caroline!
Candra Georgi says
Monica. Beautiful. I’ll never forget that February morning when schools were closed for the first time because of snow in years. I know Kennesaw in particular gave me the day off because they hadn’t had to close their doors in nearly 7 years [if I remember correctly]. Ironically I sat across the restaurant from the college president that day and laughed that we’d all played hookie. It was a glorious day off…to meet Jaana. God writes the most beautiful stories.
Monica says
Candra, I always think of you & April on Jaana’s birthday. You are so encouraging to me, love you!
Wendy says
Oh…. “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!” To truly LET GO and let GOD be GOD….that is my wish and my prayer this Christmas. Not to mention, let me TRUST in this entire process. Your words and heart are SO honest, Monica- I am so blessed to call you a friend! xoxowendy