“Growth is the only evidence of life.” — John Henry Newman
It has come to my attention that I am growing.
Growing taller? Negative…I wish. An inch or two would suffice.
This week, as I walked through the food line in the staff canteen for lunch, I chose vegetable curry & rice over french fries & chicken. What the WHAT! Who am i?
I’m growing and becoming a new creation…and I’ll be honest.
It’s kinda freaking me out.
I don’t even recognize myself from the girl I was just a few years ago when I first got married…and let’s be serious…I’m different than when I first got here 2 months ago.
I mean, I would NEVER think that I would voluntarily go by myself to another island in a strange country to buy groceries. That seemed crazy when I first stepped foot into this country, and now, it’s an almost weekly activity. I would never think that when we get back from date night that I’d say “I’ll be right back. I’m going to grab some juice.” By myself. In the dark. I never thought I’d be “that girl” who followed her husband overseas into a scary, new place. But I am. And for that, I’m thankful…and humbled.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away;behold,the new has come. ((2 corinthians 5:17 ))
As I struggle through getting into the Word daily ((which i fail at way too often)), I can see how as I lay it all down, realizing I can’t do this on my own, He is growing me. As I seek His face, ((and even when I don’t)) He is making me new. He is refining me and sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I’m over it & I want to go back to my sinful self…it’s a lot easier that way. I want to be mad when an old lady gives me an elbow to the rib while getting on the ferry. I want to shoot a dirty look when a dude almost hits me with his motorcycle as he tries to squeeze in between me and the curb. I want to be mad when ZERO students show up for a class. But He reminds me to love…without limits. My heart is being changed towards the people here…to love them in a way I never knew was possible.
The old is gone and the new has come…
I’m semi-terrified and semi-excited to see how He will choose to grow me next…mostly terrified. I mean, come on…curry?
How is the Lord growing you these days?
By Kim, <a href=”http://www.yellowsongbird.blogspot.com”>Yellow Songbird</a>Leave a Comment
Great post! I understand wanting to go back to the sinful life … it just seemed easier. Thanks for reminding me to love without limits!
Beth West says
The nearest I can tell, He has spent the last year tearing down my vision of who I thought that I was. I’m not the person I thought I was, nor who I wanted to be. Maybe there is ultimate good and real growth in this situation.
Curry doesn’t sound so good to me either, but it’s better for the waistline than the french fries!
ooh i love curry:)
I SO needed to read this today. Thank you!
I Live in an Antbed says
Sara Groves has a great song this reminded me of called Painting Pictures of Egypt (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUYAmVYnC-Y) that talks about how the familiar feels comfortable even though we know our new destination is infinitely better. Our human nature would rather have what we are used to and what we know. C. S. Lewis says, “We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”
Kim Trick says
I love the last line of this post about curry. My boyfriend is first generation American, from a Sri Lankan family. And curry has become a big part of my life in the last year. 🙂
But I understand exactly what you’re talking about here. I’m doing my best to follow where God leads, but sometimes I want my old comfy job and salary and benefits and stable life back. Even if I know I’m so much happier with where God’s leading me now.
So glad to have found your blog through (in)courage too!
Great post! Sometimes, it’s easy to get discouraged when you don’t feel immediate change and then, seemingly out of nowhere, it’s like “Huh? What I just did was so uncharacteristic of me” and then you start to see some of the growth that the Lord has been bringing to your life. It does all start when you realize how broken we are and that we can’t do it on our own. Beautiful post!
Holley Gerth says
I went through a women’s study that helped you find your values. My top one? Growth. In relationships, in love, in life, in faith. It’s so beautiful (and sometimes challenging!) to see how God always invites us out of our comfort zones and into His arms. Thanks for your words!
Bonnie Gray says
Growing is the eternal fountain of youth spiritually. Thank you for wonderful, personal and Word-filled encouragement, Kim!