About the Author

Lisa-Jo is the best-selling author of Never Unfriended and Surprised by Motherhood. Her newest book, The Middle Matters: Why That (Extra)Ordinary Life Looks Really Good on You invites us to get a good look at our middles and gives us permission to embrace them.

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  1. I lost the eldest of my mom’s sisters this Thursday in some bad circumstances. Back home. Today, we did a wake here with “family friends” in Canada. People who wanted e to be at their beck and call, & completely overlooked my grief. A part of me is angry. angry.angry. saddened. I felt rejected, inadequate, invisible, abandoned, unwanted, betrayed. Right now I’m listening to some sweet songs from Jeremy Riddle and God is telling me that He sees me. He loves me. He knows. I matter to him. He knows what it cost me today to be on my knees. He wants me to overcome the anger, the striving, and to allow myself to be humbled. He wants me not to make this about myself.
    Please pray for my family. in this difficult time That this death may bring unity. Pray for strength for me. Supernatural strength. God’s strength. Strength to do what only he can do for me, for those around me. I want to run far away from where I am now, and go experience my grief somewhere safe, but God has placed me here, in the midst of hostility, and he wants me to be his hands and feet here. He wants me to do my part here. I need courage. I need to not made my emotions my authority, but to live by faith. I need to know God is walking with me. I need him to be here in the gritty reality of this moment.

    • HI Nancy,
      I am sorry for your loss this week and the anger you have inside of you. When I read your post I immediately thought of a song my church choir is singing today for our Christmas worship service. Its titled “You Came” and this is part of the lyric….

      “We cried for help ’cause we could not save ourselves.
      You heard, You saw, You knew and You felt it all!
      You wept when you watched us fall, and You could not stay away,
      And You Came!

      And when you came You were every hope fulfilled, all that’s good revealed, love divine. And when you came, You were fellowship restored. You fed us with Your word , Bread of Life.”

      This has to be my favorite song we are going to sing today as a choir because I have been the one to cry out to Him hoping that He hears me! And He did because I did feel him come down right beside me. I pray that these words can help comfort you. He will come to you, He will hear you, and He is watching you right now in all of this.

  2. I do feel alone this Christmas. The last two Christmases (after my husband and my mom passed away), my brother and his family came into town and they invited me to spend Christmas with them. They were going to spend Christmas in Canada with his wife’s family. We all went together — and we all went to Christmas Eve worship together. It helped. It wasn’t the same, of course, but at least I was with my brother and it might have been a good thing that those Christmases were so unlike all of my previous Christmases. Anyway, I’ve recently found out that, this year, my brother can’t get time off to come home. I will be alone. I suppose I know that I’ll be fine and get through it but I’d rather not get through it crying. I will be going to my home church on Christmas Eve for the first time ever with no family with me. All of the memories of past Christmases will come back. I don’t want to sit there crying the whole time but I know I will. I’m actually praying that I get invited to worship somewhere else this Christmas Eve. I would love that. But, if I have to worship at my church, I pray for God’s peace and comfort…

    Thank you. May God bless your Christmas, too…

  3. I do feel so alone. I had to leave the church I had been going to since I was around 5 years old this year, and this along with the fact that most of my other frends were in a point in their life where they had to move away led me to only have 4 friends now. I really want more. Two of them probably would not consider me their friend at all. This as caused a lot of pain to the point where earlier this year I was struggling with if God even existed or cared about me because I felt so alone. I would love prayers that I would not find myself back in that place of questioning again any time soon. I also used to struggle with self-injury, and while I am still tempted heavily quite often, I have been free of it for just over 600 days. Prayers to stay free of it, and maybe to end the temptation would be greatly appreciated. Additionally, over the past few months I have begun to flirt with anorexia. I guess I wanted to feel like I had some control when everything else was spinning out of control, and also I convinced myself that if I did not eat I would have more friends. It’s not really about the food at all; I have no issue whatsoever with my appearance. Prayers that this new temptation would not grow and would rather go away would also be appreciated. Thank you.

  4. today is the one-year anniversary of my nephew’s death. he died unexpectedly at age 22. please pray for my brother and his wife. for strength. please pray for the large exptended family as we worship together today – that our time will grlorify god.

  5. “Especially when you don’t feel it, you are loved” …what a gripping title and something I needed to hear today.
    Recently I’ve been facing huge emotional obstacles and it has been a very painful journey to finding God, courage, rest, and love. On days when it is overwhelming and I want to throw in the towel it is so good to know that especially on those days, I am loved!

  6. today is the one-year anniversary of my nephew’s death. he died unexpectedly at age 22. please pray for my brother and his wife. for strength. please pray for the large exptended family as we worship together today – that our time will grlorify god.

    • Kendal, I’m praying for your brother and his wife, that they feel God’s strength and love during this day. And I pray for all your family to feel God’s love, strength and His comfort in mourning the loss of your nephew. Amen.

    • Oh the anniversaries of deaths can be so hard, especially around holidays. My dad has been in Hevean 8 years. He passed the day before Thanksgiving and it is still so very hard at times. I prayed for them and you.

  7. My daughter just flunked out of college. At the family Christmas party last night she told a lie that I had kicked her out of our house. I can’t even describe the anger and hurt I feel. I’m asking for God’s help in my showing her forgiveness and grace that I know is His will for this situation. Thank you.

    • I”m so sorry for the turmoil in your family. My daughters are young and it would break my heart to have one choose to hurt me like that. I prayed your heart will be so full of forgiviness that you can feel the joy of CHRIST through it all and that your daughter will respond with repentence by feeling your love and forgiveness.

    • Cindy,
      I understand your pain and frustration. I just found out that my step son was the one who stole my debit card and drivers license out of my purse when he was drunk and then went driving to the local bar drunk. I thought i was going crazy trying to think of when someone could have taken it from me and why or how! When i finally suspected him he just simply said it wasnt him until i told him the lady at the bar identified him. I pray for you today that you are able to allow GOd to move in your lif eand show and truly give forgiveness to your daughter. It may not be today that you feel the peace of forgiveness but it will come if you are obedient to truly forgive. I say all this as my heart is filled with anger itself, mostly that I just want to forgive and move on.

  8. I have many in my life that I feel loved, so I am very blessed. Yet I am not loved by my sisters. Normally I can accept it and He helps me through but there are times like yesterday where it just smacks me in the face and I am broken. Really it is such a small thing in the grand scheme of what blessings I have in my life, yet the emotional chains of it are heavy at times. I long to break free from it all. The thing is I can’t fix it because I have done nothing but be me. My older sister has said it is her issue of jelously of me, insecurities in her own life and past issues with me from childhood. I cannot change these things, and though she knows this, she is not willing to take the effort to fix it. So we only talk once a year at the family Christmas time and even then it is causal, brief and not like a friend. But God has at least created that time for our kids to connect without any drama from the adults, it was peaceful at Thanksgiving and that was a blessing as that hasn’t happened in years. My younger sister lacks maturity and in an instant of not getting what she wanted yesterday out came that she feels mom caters to me and loves me more. I cannot change this either. My mom and I have always had a good friendship relationship, where my mom and my sisters have struggled. The youngest doesn’t respect her and it creates alot of turmoil in our family. My mom and her youngest daughter are living together and sadly I feel I might have to back away from my mom so they can try to mend their relationship but then my husband says it isn’t my place to try to fix what I didn’t break and only God can repair. I just miss the essence of what a sister relationship is supposed to be. I missed out on it twice 🙁 And I despise feeling that I am the cause, that I need to fix something about me. I’ve changed me before, it still didn’t work. I wish I could pray it and let it go. I wish it didn’t tear me up and especially in this time so close to CHRISTmas when I should feel at peace in Him. When my focus should be on Him. I don’t like that what happened yesterday. I don’t like that my 23 year old sister’s “fit” from not getting her way pulls at my heart so much. Lord heal my broken spirit and help me see past how they see me. Help me see me as you do. THanks for listening.

    • Pulling back from your mother, or changing who you are will not “fix” anyone or anything. That is their choice. When we allow the Lord to fill us up, it can actually bring Holy Spirit conviction to those we are around. As uncomfortable as that can be, the Lord is always wooing and drawing all of us to Himself. But the choice is for each of us to make: will we allow Him to set us free from our bondage, or will we refuse to submit to His Lordship. When the Lord allows us to feel conviction or guilt for our sins, it is for the purpose of moving us toward Him. The pain we feel from that guilt is to help us recognize Him as our solution. However, when we reject the true solution, we must balance that guilt with blame. And so the amount of blame heaped onto another person is a direct measure of the amount of guilt that is being balanced. In a situation such as you described, we must continue to pray that the Lord will purify our hearts of any sin, wrong motives, etc., but we cannot make someone choose Truth. We can only pray and love as He Loves.

  9. This is supposed to be the most joyous time of the year. So why do I always end up feeling like a failure? Just when I think I have a handle on things, Satan steps in to show me how far I have to go and I fall into that abyss.

  10. I’m in the middle of chemotherapy for breast cancer. This is my second time; the first being thirteen years ago. I am exhausted, sick and frightened. It’s hard to hold onto hope when I feel like the treatment is slowly killing me, and I just can’t find God in all of this.

  11. Please pray for my family. Today is my son’s 30th birthday and he is very deeply depressed. We have a lot of painful things going on in our family right now.

  12. Please pray for me…I am feeling really lonely and starting to toy with disordered eating tendencies again, and isolating myself.

    • Lord I lift up Leanna and Elizabeth. Lord give them strength to get through this tough time and let the saddness lift by joy in just “being” for you. Father I don’t know their circumstances but let your love and grace cover their hurt and pain. You are strong when they are weak, let them lean on your strength to pound away and desire to do anything unloving to themselves. May their night be full of peaceful slumber and they wake with new joy in the morning light. In Him Amen.

  13. Elizabeth- I’m praying for you I know what you’re going through to an extent. And if you’d like to message me feel free to send me your email in a comment via my blog, I’d be happy to talk to you if you like via email.
    No matter what though know that God loves you, you are not alone.

  14. well as i read each comment i am filled with grace and comfort. And by no means thinking i am any better, comoforted to know that we all have issues and struggles and pain in our livs. I pray for each one of us at this time that we focus on drawing close to God, just truly reaching out to Him. Right where we are at right now. I pray for His peace and comfort for us all, knowing we are loved by our Lord and Savior and no matter what our circumstances are no matter what lies Satan is telling nothing can change the fact that we are loved by God!! For now that is what I am going to focus on and pray that each of you can do the same.

  15. These past few months, I just can’t feel truly happy. I seem to dwell on the negatives, dwell on what I am not, who I wish I was, what I can’t do, etc. I feel alone, even though people reach out and offer to listen, I just can’t seem to put into words what is wrong with me. And I’m supposed to be happy, I mean, it’s Christmas and my brother’s getting married in a few months. Everyone around me is happy. And I cry myself to sleep most nights. And I’m mad at myself for feeling this way, but I just can’t seem to get past these feelings.

    • Kristin: Maybe it’s just me but my brother’s wedding wasn’t a highlight in my life either. I completely understand the sadness despite the rest of the family’s “joy.” I will pray for you.

    • I am battling them to so let us pray for each other. Keep your eye of Jesus because he does care.

  16. Dear Jesus –

    We pray you send your Holy Spirit – the Comforter who intercedes for us with groans when there are no words – to comfort these women. To wrap them in your arms, to hold them, to rock them, to sing over them in the dark watches of the night.

    Thank you that we know you hear every single one of our prayers – spoken and unspoken. And we trust you with the answers.

    Please bless your daughters.

    Amen

  17. I love just reading this blog!

    I need to have faith to live my life to the fullest while I am stuck in a dead end relationship waiting for the waiting period before my ex and I can file for divorce.

  18. I know I’ve already commented on this…but I want to thank you for the reminder that I am loved.

  19. Hello my sisters in Christ. I am requesting prayer at this time because I am truly attempting to keep my head above water this holiday season. My father unexpectedly passed on November 5th and right now I am feeling the brunt of it all. I wont complain at all because I understand that God’s ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. I just need strength right now because I feel physically and emotionally drained. Things were a little shaky in general for me before he passed but this compounded the situation and now I feel like I am on E. Both of my grandmothers passed around this time of year as well so I feel almost like I am about to suffocate. Thank you so much in advance for your prayers and I am praying for you all as well.

  20. I have struggled emotionally and mentally this year, having been on medical leave for depression and anxiety. I thought I had made great progress, but some of the old thoughts and feelings are creeping back in… Please pray that I can overcome for good!
    Bernice

  21. I am a Christian and I know God loves me and he blesses me but I feel so alone. I am a photographer who photographs people at events and people love me because I love them. They say I light up a room. My work is like my ministry and I barely am scraping by but it brings me joy to make them feel beautiful. But…when it is all said and done I come home alone. I feel I do not fit in the world and can not meet a guy because so many are addicted to drugs, booze or sex and I am old fashion. Before I did not deal with it as much as I was a single mom for 16 years but now both of my kids have moved out, I do not have a real job now and tho I am over 50 my energy and looks throw men off that are my age and I do not want to date younger ones.
    I have been praying for my soulmate for years but God still has not brought him. I am so tired of this lonely life but have no one to talk to about it cuz my job is to make others feel good. I promise I am a joyful kind person and am out in the public constantly. No one knows that I feel alone but it is hard to relate to most because they cover theirs with drugs or drinking thus I do not feel comfortable speaking about it. I did a great job teaching my children values and they tell me they really appreciate how I took them everywhere and was not a revolving door. The only man I lived with was my x. I ask you to please pray that God sends me this person soon. I just want someone to share life with, someone to hold me, someone to trust. My parents and brothers do not have much to do with me because they are atheist but even as a little girl I have always loved God. How can a person be so adored and so alone. Doesn’t anyone see that I want to be loved too?

    • Ah, Anita…I happened across your plea for prayer and felt compelled to tell you that I too am waiting for another to share what remains of my time here on earth. I hear your plea, believe your honesty and share your hope and desire for the Lord to bring another love my way. This time, I can not settle for feelings of being wanted to override my passion to live as a child of God…if I am to love again, it must be to someone who loves the Lord God with all his mind, soul and body. Only then can he truly love me as I need to be loved.

      These past years, that may seem like “alone” to others have provided me with much needed healing and growing in the Lord. I wonder if you have not also experienced the same growth in your intimate relationship with the Lord? I count each year as a building block, a foundation for the life He is preparing for me…and should the day I hope for never come, I will be satisfied with my Lord at my side. Unlike other loves we have known in our lives, He will never leave or change. Ah, there is such peace in knowing that.

      Let us pray for one another…as sisters in Christ. You are beautiful. Your beauty and worth are not determined by the world = rather your value as a child of our living God. As a moth is drawn to the light, may the love and companion you long for be drawn to you because of the reflection of Christ you are to your world.

      • Elizabeth,

        Thank you so much for your prayers and I am praying for you. I just saw this. Yes, I have grown closer to God. Your letter was beautiful and need this morning. God Bless you and feel free to write.

        Anita

  22. I dont wanna disappoint the person i love. His been there for me like no other, he has helped me grow. Now in 3 weeks i will have a beautiful baby boy, except i dont know whose the father, im so ashamed at my self. My boyfriend knows the story, that the baby im carry might not be his. I dont want to disappont him, and for him to end up leaving. He calls him his son. “Whats gonna Happen if its not his” ? Im leavin it in the hands of god!!