About the Author

Jennifer De Groot co-authored That Works for Me! with Kristen Welch. She lives in Western Montana with her hilarious husband, preschool-aged daughter, and infant son.

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  1. Your post was a good reminder for me today -it’s a good time for me to be concrete in mapping out our family priorities and organizing a new schedule… thanks!

  2. I am in the midst of this! Having to sift out what is good for what is the better, more excellent way. Saying no is hard, but being spread thin and delivering less than a 100% has far worse consequences (for me!). Excellent reminder!

  3. I am one of the rare folks who loves to send out cards. Guess I inherited it from my father who loved beautiful greeting cards and actually sent them out. Dayspring cards speak to the heart and bless both the giver and the receiver. Thanks for the chance to win.
    Cheryl Sims

  4. I always remind myself that just because it is a good thing doesn’t mean it is a God thing {for me}. Thanks for the reminder that I am not alone in this struggle!

  5. Thanks for your honesty! I also am trying to juggle too much because I think that no one else will pick up the slack if I don’t do it! Children’s ministry, praise team, women’s ministry, youth…no one can do all that. I need to step back and see where God is calling me and focus my energy there!

  6. Loved this. I really struggle with saying “no” to good things, even when I realize that those things will get in the way of what God has for me at this stage in life: taking care of my own family. I’m a “people pleaser” so saying no is especially hard!

  7. I cannot tell you how timely this is for me! Over the past few days I’ve been struggling with a decision to say “no” to a good thing; an amazing opportunity for me, which I simply do not have time for. I could probably make time, but lots would suffer – our home life and my sanity, to name a few. Like you, I went from being a slightly bored Mom to a now almost-overwhelmed with volunteer commitments Mom in a short amount of time. It is amazing how that happens, and it was hard for me to admit that I have reached a point where I need to say “no” to something good.

    I gave the official “no” right before I opened my computer to read (in)courage. So imagine how reassuring your post is to me. Thank you!!

    • I’m so glad that God reaffirmed your decision. This was a difficult lesson for me to learn and I’m excited that it can encourage others.

  8. What an important and timely post. We run at such a frantic pace trying to do good that life flies by in a blur. Even after the children are grown. I’ve been writing a lot lately about how God has been teaching me to rest. Someone commented on my blog that it seems God is speaking in themes today, and this is one of them. Bless you in the slowing.

    BTW, I also wrote about saying no over at Mel’s Place a few months ago.

    http://melissamashburn.blogspot.com/2010/04/godly-gals-sandra-king.html

  9. Great post. I’ve recently began turning things down and it is so freeing. Not saying that I don’t struggle with feeling guilty or wishing I could do it all, but realizing I can’t is half the battle.

  10. Amen. Being a mother of grown and almost grown children, this was an ah-ha moment for me years ago. For me it was the realization that while I hated saying no to good things, I realized that while I wasn’t saying no with my mouth, I was saying no with my yes. Everytime I said yes to a good thing, if I turned around I realized I had just said ‘no’ to several other good things…sometimes things that were more important than what I had said yes to. By saying ‘yes’ to what was being asked of me at the moment because it was ‘good’, I took away time from things that didn’t “ask me” for my attention and time but needed it even more. Most often it was my family or children. I began to learn to turn around and see what was lined up behind me…to see the things that I’d be saying no to if I said yes to the thing that was immediately in front of me and learned that saying no to good things didn’t make me a bad person…but a more balanced person.

    AND IT IS SEASONAL! As my children have begun to leave the nest, things I had to say no to in the past can have a yes now. A season for all things…and I am thankful I learned sooner than later that the season of saying yes to my family with a no to many good things was upon me then, and now this new season has new opportunities.

  11. I love this post. I often have a hard time saying no, as well. I’ve learned that when I spread myself too thin, I cannot be my best for those who need me or for those “important things.”

    Beautifully written post! Thank you.

  12. SO where I’m at this week! I started living the vision God gave me earlier this year, and now things are really ramping up on multiple fronts… even though I desired growth in these areas, I’m feeling overwhelmed now and having a little disorientation trying to balance everything. You’ve encouraged me to take a good hard look at what I’m doing and make some deliberate choices. Thanks so much!

  13. Great reminder. Today is my 90th day as a home maker. I often get questions from friends and family about what I do during the day. Right now I have quite a bit of free time, having just finished an international move. Instead of immediately filling it, I am trying to be intentional about what I fills my days. Allowing yourself to say ‘no’ is an important way to welcome grace into your life.

  14. Very “timely” post for me as well. I just this school year have all 3 of my kids in school, and I’ve been looking for how I could use my time to give back. I have considered lots of things that would be good, but I had to pray to God to align my passions with what His are for me. I’ve really wanted to be purposeful & effective for Him but felt some guilt for not being able to do everything that needed; this post is reaffirming that we all have difficult decisions to make and priorities to maintain. Thank you!

  15. Hi – This is so where I am I am trying to do only the best (as opposed to the “good”) in my life and there is still a lot of juggling with husband, kids, friends, and life! One of the things I am making a point of doing is writing notes to people to thank them or tell them they are loved! Also, I am trying to give out tracts to all those that I don’t have time or capacity to have a relationship with such as cashiers, guys at the gas pump, service people. We are here to make an impact on those God puts in our lives, even for a few minutes sometimes. We have to do what we can depending on the relationship!! Thanks for your post!

  16. Hi Jennifer!

    It was so nice to read your post and realize that I am not alone. I want to do EVERYTHING. I sign up for way too much and then feel guilty for not getting it done. With so many things on my plate I could not do a good job of any of them. I cried and tried harder but, like you, realized that I just could not keep up.

    Thank you for the fresh outlook on life!

    Love you!
    Grandma Patty Ann
    http://pocketfullofpennies.com/blot too!

  17. Jennifer,
    For me, it is a constant struggle to find that balance between what I want and what I feel as if I need to do. When we cut back on some of our doing, I feel as if we really become more present in the things that truly capture our hearts.

  18. This post is so timely! I think I need this reminder every few months and will post it here at home! I want to do SO many things, but I can’t. I’m not super-woman, as I constantly remind myself. I work full-time and we don’t have children yet, but I’m still busy. My health often prevents me from being as busy as I wish to be, but I need to be content with this season, without children and working, even though I can’t do it all. In actuality, I’ll never be able to do it all, even if I’m staying home with children someday. However, I can make the most of my everyday opportunities at work and among friends and family.

  19. Excellent thoughts, Jennifer. And I love the truth that when we say “no” to something now, it doesn’t mean we’re saying “no” forever. Just for now. More like “wait.”