We watch spring earth form bulbs and then blooms which grow into a bounty of summer creation, then transition in contrast to autumn tones of beauty which lay below winter white blankets of hibernation.
Seasons must change in order to progress.
As it is with life when we find ourselves transitioning. We live out many stages as time goes on, some of which are planting, waiting, growth, brokenness, and healing. We even have stages of life where we live in the unknown.
Since the birth of my first-born, 10 years ago, I have been a Stay-at-home-Mom. My days consisted of changing diapers, washing dishes, folding laundry and kissing boo-boos. Sweeping crumbs off furniture, floors and petite girly lips.
Last September was the first year both of my daughters where in school full-time. My youngest was entering grade one and she was beyond exuberant and more then ready.
I would be entering our empty home from 9am – 3pm. I wouldn’t have the sound of tiny feet dancing and stomping to rhythmic tunes or the voices of sisters arguing over baby clothes and strollers. I was entering the unfamiliar, a year of uncertainty.
I had a few apprehensions but for the most part I was ready for this, or so I thought.
Several weeks into the school year, I mourned my loss of Monday to Friday daytime laughter with my sweet daughters. I cried, knowing I was closing a chapter and turning a new page. This new beginning in life had started and I felt lost. Tears flowed as I asked God “Now what?”
As summer holidays transformed into the school year, leaves were changing into vibrant colours of honey, scarlet and pumpkin. I, on the other hand, was feeling similar to the withered leaf falling slowly upon the ground, crumbling into pieces.
A large part of my identity was wrapped up in being a Mom. I was familiar with having play dates at parks, baking cookies after lunch, colouring Barbie printouts and organizing life, as I knew it.
Now I wasn’t sure. I felt I was loosing a sense of who I was along with the missing puzzle pieces and Polly pocket shoes.
“Who was I now, if not a stay-at-home Mom?”
Then it hit me like an overstuffed backpack on the first day of school. Wham!
Had I forgotten that my identity isn’t external? Was I putting value in gifts that were only meant to add to my life and not be my life? God was revealing that my value, worth and identity wasn’t in decorating the cutest cupcakes or my inability to sew the most adorable costumes. He was showing me that my significance and importance wasn’t in volunteering for field trips, multiple church ministries or other time consuming hobbies. Nor was it in my lack and shortcomings as a woman, a parent, a wife and a friend.
God was bringing me back to the basics and showing me that my identity is internal.
My identity is IN HIM and FILLED IN HIM alone.
My life is still changing and will continue to season. But I embrace the circumstantial transitions knowing that Jesus will always be my constant.
That is certain.
So no matter what loss or gain is to come, I will choose to remain IN HIM!
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Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. (Colossians 2:6,7,9,10 emphasis added.)