Family

I Need A Daddy

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I was minding my own business cutting carrots when it happened.  The knife slipped.

“Um, I just cut the tip of my finger. Off.” I said quietly, more to myself than to anyone in particular.  No one seemed to notice.  I took my bleeding finger off to the bathroom to clean it up.

What I hadn’t noticed was my Dad get up and follow me in.  He surprised me in the bathroom doorway and then came in, grabbed my finger and ran it under the faucet.

“Ouch!” I yelled!  It hadn’t hurt, until now.

“We’ve got to get this clean so we can look at it.  Sorry babe.” was all Dad had to say about it.  He was going to rinse my finger off, whether or not I fought him.  I chose to let him do his handy work.  He cleaned and dressed my finger carefully and lovingly.

Since I had only cut the tip of my pinky finger, it didn’t require a trip to the ER.  It healed just fine but left me with a nice little scar.  A scar that still reminds me of my loving and gentle Daddy. The Daddy who tended to my owies or made my friends and I bark like dogs, so that I could spend the night at their house.

Things changed shortly after I cut my finger (though really they had been changing for a long time if I let myself admit it).  He left our family due to his alcoholism and abuse.  The Daddy I had once known and loved was gone.

I grew up and got married.  Many nights were spent crying my eyes out in my husband’s arms, wishing for my Daddy.  Grieving over the loss of a broken relationship.

One night I cried out, “God, I need a Daddy!”

I heard the whisper in my soul, “Darlin’, you have a daddy. I am your Daddy. I am THE Daddy.”

Oh, how could I have missed that?  All along I had the Daddy of all Daddies right there.  He had always been there.

He didn’t miss walking me down the aisle.  He didn’t miss my children’s births.  He didn’t miss a thing.  When I needed the comfort only a father can bring, He was right there with open arms. Ready and waiting for me to ask Him for the comfort I so desperately needed.

The scar on my finger is a constant reminder of the love my earthly Daddy had for me, no matter how broken the relationship may have become.  As much as the scars on Christ’s hands remind me of just how much He loves each and everyone of us. How, when we are broken, He is near.  Ready to embrace us and comfort our distressed hearts.  If only we would simply ask.

Matthew 11:28
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

PS. This story isn’t finished.  God would later work a miracle in my Daddy’s life, that would forever change us both.  You can read more of this story at: Redemption of Hearts

By Melinda Todd

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About the Author

Mel is the author of the book, How I Forgave My Molester and writes to encourage and inspire women at Trailing After God. Christ can set us ALL FREE!

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  2. Wish I had a visible scar on me to remind me my dad once loved me. Unfortunately, the only scar I have is the one on my heart. Still dealing with it after all these years. I have moments of “clarity” when I can see God as my daddy, holding his “little” girl in His lap, loving her unlike her earthly father. As you know, when a dad leaves, he leaves a gaping hole in our little girl hearts that we try to fill in ways that should’ve never existed.

    My dad has YET to make a difference. Bummer.

  3. Thanks for sharing that. Having lost both my parents by the time I was 39, I have often cried out to God to please parent me, especially when times are hard and frightening. And when I’m trying hard to BE a parent and have no idea what to do next with my own child. He has never failed me yet.

    I love how you point out that God as our Father has never missed an event or an opportunity or a milestone. I never thought of it that way – that is awesome and so very true! Thank you for your insight and wisdom today- it is a blessing.

  4. “I am THE Daddy.” Oh, those words made me take a deep breath and then let out a big happy sigh with a smile. Such sweet truth that makes our hearts feel secure. Thank you for reminding us of it today!

  5. I felt this way for many years, until my daddy finally got the help he needed. He has been sober for 8 1/2 years and we now have the best relationship we’ve ever had. He is making up for not being a daddy to me by being the best grandpa possible to my daughter. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m headed over to your blog to read more.

  7. My dad died 11 years ago when I was 19. I grew up without him for most of my life. Just these last few weeks I’ve been grieving his death for the first time and also grieving the time I didn’t have in my life while he was alive. Just yesterday I posted about my grief and what it looks like. I’ve been trying to grasp that even though my earthly father is gone my Heavenly Father isn’t…that I STILL have a Dad.
    I know this post was God’s timing for me. Thank you for sharing your heart so others, like myself, can be encouraged.

    • It is very hard to remember that! We want people on THIS earth, right now to fulfill us and fix our broken hearts but they are unable to do so. Only Christ can mend broken hearts and fill that void. I know that is easier said than done but when we let go and let him be “The Daddy”, He will do amazing things! God bless you!

  8. My dad has Alzhiemer’s. Losing him little bits at a time has been very difficult. I live cross country and try to talk to him by phone. Sometimes he struggles with who I am. He’ll ask who my mother was. He’ll ask where I am, why did I move here, when am I coming home. In the same conversation he can not know me and know all about me. I’ve felt like I’m losing my covering, my safe place. This piece reminds me that I still have a safe place.

  9. Hi honey,
    I feel your pain. I have been thinking about my dad (and mom) for the past couple of weeks because of a bible study I am doing. Or not doing. I did not do the exercise last week because of the memories.

    I am slowly realizing that I do have a daddy. I did all along.

    God bless you for confirming what he has been trying to tell me. Now if I can just listen to his healing words.

    I love you!
    Grandma Patty Ann

  10. Thank you, Abba Father, for loving us! Thank you that the broken picture so many of us have because of imperfect earthly fathers is turned into a picture of such incredible beauty and depth when we gaze into Your Face. We love you!! We are your precious children longing to climb up in Your lap and hear Your heart beating with the Love You have for us.

    I LOVE this song: How He Love Us sung by Kim Walker (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps)

    • Is that not the most amazing song/video! Sometimes on the weekends, I treat myself to a Youtube Christian concert for about an hour – just looking up my favorite worship songs and watching different artists sing them and letting my sould completely fill up and I ALWAYS watch this video! I pray God blesses your day!

  12. “Scars remind us the past is real…” {“Scars” by Papa Roach}

    How wonderfully redemptive for you to have taken a painful circumstance to focus on God’s faithfulness. Your opening line captured my attention and your story held me til the end.

    🙂

  13. Thank you for being so open and sharing from the heart. Thank you seeing life thru God’s eyes and sharing that so that we too might be able to see His incredible grace and goodness…. Thank You….

  14. I can so relate to your story, growing up with an alcholic father who just wouldn’t pay attention to his 3 girls. I see the effects of growing up like that in myself and my two sisters. Thankfully, I married a man who is nothing like my father and has been a WONDERFUL man to our own daughters and at the ages of 17 and 20, I can see the difference having a loving, attentive father in one’s life makes. My daughters don’t need to make foolish, harmful desperate decisions just to get their daddy’s attention or affection. They are solid, smart, strong, self-assured, pure young women. Praise God! And, I too, had a God moment where my father’s abusive voice was removed from the head of the committee table of my mind and replaced by God and my life hasn’t been the same since. About 7 years ago, my father almost died from a ruptured aorta, but he didn’t and through that event, my years of prayers for there to be some way of him reaching sobriety, so he and my mother could spend the rest of their years together with him NOT being an alcholic, were answered and we’ve all since enjoyed the effects of a sober father, grandfather, greatgrandfather. More praises to God the almighty father of them all!

  18. Hi there. Thanks for sharing this. Right now I needed to hear something like this. My mom died when I was almost 2 and then I was taken away from my dad when I was almost in first grade. I haven’t talked much to my dad. It is hard right now because I have no family to be close to which makes it really hard when I see families that are close. I crave that. Sorry thanks again.:)

    • Thank you for your honest reply Sharon 🙂 I’m sorry seeing families is hard. I do understand to a degree as my extended family all lives just far enough away that we don’t get together as much as we used to and I find myself pining for family get togethers. One thing I have found, is a good solid church family can really fill in those gaps. I am praying for you. May you find that extra from a loving church family!

    • Hi Sharon… just wanted to say that I know that ache of seeing family relationships that you don’t have. It’s a very lonely place. And I hate to say that I have so far (17yrs in) not found anything that comes close to filling that empty place. Church family is not the same as real family, and they never will be. My experience is that people can be close, but I’m never treated like ‘real’ family. ‘Real’ family always gets put before me, and I guess that’s the way it should be. I just wish I had some ‘real’ family who would put me first! I’ve spent almost 2 decades feeling like the foster child in everyone’s lives – wishing someone would put my picture on their fridge, wishing someone would put me first, wishing someone would mother and nurture me. I have a fantastic husband, and great kids… but my kids have no extended family, and nobody who is interested in being extended family to them.
      This is a very tender subject with me, and despite years of prayer, so far God hasn’t brought anyone into my kids lives to fill their longing for a grandma.
      And as much as God loves me and my kids, He doesn’t do sleepovers with my kids, or teach them to knit.

  22. Oh man now you’ve made me cry. 🙂 I so relate to this “I need a Daddy” although I’m loosing mine to Alzheimer’s. It’s still makes my stomach churn to type or say the name of his disease and I tell God often that I can’t do life without my Daddy but He is teaching me to see Him as the ultimate Daddy. Funny enough it’s a bit of a handicap in trusting God to have an awesome earthly Dad.

    Thanks so much for sharing this!

    • Jessie, I’m sorry I didn’t see your comment until now. I’m so sorry that Alzheimers is stealing your daddy. I can only imagine. Hugs! Love you lady!