The windshield wipers didn’t do any good.
It was as if they tried to sweep away water that was too heavy to move. This California girl wasn’t used to a spring Florida thunderstorm.
I’d traveled with my best friend to a family wedding in Daytona Beach a few years ago and after a morning spent exploring the coast, black clouds and a few lightening flashes signaled us to head back to where we were staying.
My cousin called us to see if we were okay. He was nearby and agreed to meet us at a local convenience store before he headed home to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.
Customers stood by the cash register and watched satellite photos in reds and greens flash their warnings above the head of the owner.
Tornado
Touch down.
Damage.
Sightings.
We looked at each other. We’d been born and raised in southern California. Give us an earthquake, a fire or a mudslide and we can function just fine. But ask us to be brave in a tornado-riddled tropical storm and we turned to puddles of rain water.
A soggy pre-wedding groom found us waiting by the chili dogs and fountain drinks.
“Are you ready? You can follow me back to the house.” My cousin told us.
I didn’t want to go back out into the storm. “Maybe we should wait right here?” I suggested.
Seth laughed. “Come on. It’ll be fine.”
He had been raised water skiing with gators here in eastern Florida and I guessed he’d seen his share of storms and hurricanes.
“Trust me.” He said. He opened the door for us and we followed him back out into the southern steam.
The taillights on my cousin’s truck faded further and further in front of our rental car. It was only 2 o’clock in the afternoon but the sky darkened quicker than I’d ever seen it. I tried to keep up but the water and the wipers and the hail were almost too much.
“Turn on the radio, Vanessa. “ I asked my best friend.
She fumbled with the radio and tried to find a station that would tell us what was happening.
All I could hear was the word tornado over the bang of the hail on the cloth roof of the convertible. Visions of that terrifying movie with Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt blew through me. Would we be swept away with the wind and the water?
Tomorrow’s headlines: TWO GIRLS WHO DIDN”T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IN A STORM DIE BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WHEN A TELEPHONE POLE IMPALES THEM THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD. Or something like that.
My only option was to trust the judgment of my cousin who’d lived in storms worse than this and who had experienced the end of a fearful time and knew that eventually, quickly maybe, the storm would end.
The clouds would pull back. The sun would wake up and the sky would stretch blue and clear across the wide Atlantic. He’d seen that before. He was not scared.
But I was. I started to cry and my hands shook on the steering wheel.
All I could hear was the hail. All I could see was the black sky and feel the oppressive uncertainty of being drowned and battered by the storm.
I didn’t know how beautiful the end could be because I’d never been there before. So I had to trust the One who had both created the storm and created it’s end.
The next afternoon we sat barefoot in summer dresses on white chairs on that super fine Florida sand. We watched the sky open half grey and half brilliant sunset as my cousin promised to love and cherish his wife.
We thanked God for beauty and beaches and a wedding day without rain. We thanked God for showing us the end of the storm.
Have you ever been blinded by the storm? Are you able to see the clear skies even when you are in the middle of the rain and the hail?
By Sarah Markley, The Best Days of My Life
Leave a Comment
Lisa H says
I have been in the middle of a 3 year long storm. I do not see the blue skies through the hail and the rain. I am a person who panics. I run and retreat and hide. I stuff feelings and emotions instead of face them.
I think its possible the brunt of the storm is over now and I’m experiencing the backside of the front that has moved in on me. Its still dark and cloudy and raining but I think the hail is gone for now.
TRUST is very hard. I’m learning a lttle more each day about it though. I went on a ‘retreat’ of sorts this weekend. A planned meeting with God for 3 days. Just me and him. I was determined to face the storm in my heart. Since we are using weather as a theme I guess I was a tornado chaser and I literally am terrified of severe storms let alone hear them actually say the “T” word on the weather! But I did it, I faced all the things in my head. I walked, talked, prayed, did a lot of writing and prayed some more. I threw something into the fire and watched it burn as I decided to give it to God.
I woke up on Sunday morning, the storm had moved past me. No more lightening, no more hail, no more tornado sirens in my heart. I was exhausted but calm finally! I have such issue with trust that I am afraid it will start up again today but right now I’m okay so I will take it.
I will TRUST HIM today and NOT myself.
Sarah Markley says
Wow. Thank you for the comment, Lisa. I’m so sorry that you’ve had so much storm. I’m so glad you are trusting. I think that is all you can do.
Linda says
I did grow up in tornado alley. Although I moved up North 20 years ago I still have tornado dreams. I find them very sybolic of how I live my life. In the middle of my dreams when the tornadoes are coming I find myself trying to make sure that everyone else is okay. I worry that the people aren’t coming to safety. I cry and I scream for them to come with me and am so upset when they don’t. I wake up startled and my heart racing.
In my real life I am a caregiver. When someone is in pain my whole body feels it. When something bad happens I feel myself spring into action. Not a bad thing I would like to think. But I also see through part of my dream my desire to control those around me…(ouch!!)
This was an epiphany this morning. I think that I need to step back more and at times let others live through their tornados and not try to “save” them. Maybe I am standing in the way of their growth.
Thank you so much for sharing your story…..
Sarah Markley says
hmm. that is very wise. but very hard to do i think. especially for a nurturer like yourself. thank you so much for your comment. =)
Holley Gerth says
Beautiful Sarah, I love seeing your face here this morning. You live with your heart wide open, taking it all in, listening for Jesus, and then you give it all back to us in ways that make us think, and pray, and change. Thank you, sweet friend!
Sarah Markley says
love you Holley!!
Beth says
“All I could hear was the hail. All I could see was the black sky and feel the oppressive uncertainty of being drowned and battered by the storm.
I didn’t know how beautiful the end could be because I’d never been there before. So I had to trust the One who had both created the storm and created its end.”
This is where I am right now with one of my children. (I apologize ahead of time if you ‘ve read any of my comments before- this has been going on for a while in our family). Last night the clouds grew darker than ever and the hail was bigger than before. We and he are feeling oppressed and fear being drowned any minute.
Thank you for this beautiful post. I know one day the blue skies will return. We’ve seen them before, but the clouds have been so thick this time that not much light has been able to get through. I keep wondering why God won’t let this storm end – and quickly – but I must trust and believe He’s designing a wondrous, cloud-parting end to this and pray it comes soon.
Sarah Markley says
i’m so sorry Beth. I will think of and pray for you and your child tonight.
Beth says
Thank you so much…..
mary kathryn tyson says
i think i just started having an anxiety attack, sarah. dear lord.
yes, yes and yes. all of those things.
in…2002?…yes, at the beginning of june in 2002. we found out my grandma had acute mylogenous leukemia. she opted not to have treatment in order to enjoy her last days (a sweet surprise to me, actually – i still marvel that she was that confident and that brave). she died two weeks later on father’s day during the only 10 minute-period she had to herself the entire time she was bedridden. again, so brave, but not the point of this story.
during that two-week period of everyone’s focus being on my grandma (my dad’s mom), my mom told us she was getting married. awesome news, but it was like the hurricane spun me in the opposite direction.
and then to realize my mom would be moving from our hometown when i was used to seeing her every day was another blow.
it was like all these things were happening around me that would affect me but i had absolutely no control over any of them.
{by the way, after my mom got married over labor day that year, my granddad died unexpectedly before christmas and my dad was suddenly an orphan}
and it was after we were given all of this news and before my grandma died that i had this image of a hurricane (i live in north carolina. just go with it.) and i was in the middle of the ocean and i was fighting the storm and drowning for it.
and then i realized…that if i stop fighting and just float…then i wouldn’t drown. if i surrendered to the storm and the hurricane, then i would be safe in the vastness and the strength of the ocean.
this was all before i got sober, before my dad died, before…before everything i have to draw from in my own story really begins…which is to say i’ve been through other storms since then. and this image and thought stays with me in those times. (which is *not* to say that i float with grace -or at all- in those times, just that i can access it if i think about it.)
and like you experienced, the day is always -always- brighter and more beautiful because of it.
thank you for sharing this story, sarah. i think i need to find someone with a xanax. for reals.
xo
Sarah Markley says
Wow, Mary. What I hear from your comment is that we are never really in control. Its difficult to be there and not be able to trust. i always, always appreciate your amazing comments!!
allison morrison says
Wow…thanks so much. It’s hard to see through the storm to what is on the other side…calmness and safety. But He is there waiting for us to come through. Actually, He’s carrying us in His hands through the thing in the first place. What a comfort!
Sarah Markley says
the idea of him carrying me sometimes has been the only thing that has gotten me through.
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Victoria says
Those severe storms in life really get our attention. Our abject fear many times blinds us temporarily to our loving Father who is guiding the storm.
I’ve been through my own personal tornadoes and hurricanes and can attest to releasing my own will and letting the waters carry me where He wills – it does work! My heart is now filled with peace instead of constant hand wringing terror because I know my Savior has my best interest at heart.
Thank you for sharing, Sarah.
Sarah Markley says
thank you so much for your comment victoria. that is beautiful.
christine says
storms are hard..i have been through a few in my life..and there are the days where i’m sort of stuck in my pit and there are days where I truly understand that it’s out of my hands and in the hands of God…
I completely agree that going through storms helps you appreciate life after…all the things we take for granted..the air we breathe…the beauty of His majesty and all He has blessed us with..but also a way to deal with more storms and a way to help others get throught their storms…
I still struggle when storms come, but always seem to come around…from california girl to another california girl …thanks for the encouraging words…
Sarah Markley says
yay! another california girl. =)
wanda says
Darn those storms. They come in and wreck everything.
But…..the cleanup can make everything new. I like to remind myself
that I can weather the storm with HIS help!
Sarah Markley says
you are so right!
Galen Pearl says
Blinded by the storm? Oh Lord, yes. More times than I can count, but the time that is uppermost in my mind right now is the extremely difficult time I went through with two of my three daughters. For a time, they were each in the throes of their own adolescent nightmares, but fed off each other in a perfect storm sort of way. Our home was in spiritual chaos. They couldn’t even be in the same room with each other. Every day I was on the outer ledge of anxiety, wondering when the next explosion would come.
Fast forward to the present time. They are young adults. They are each as lovely and pleasant to be around as they were horrible before. They are good friends and our family gatherings are love fests of laughter and gratitude. I would never have thought this possible. Talk about miracles!!
Can I see light when clouds gather? I’ve gotten better at it as my faith has deepened. I’m quicker to turn things over to God and trust that all things work for good. I’ve learned that I am not in control and that that is a very good thing!
Sarah Markley says
beautiful galen. i love that there is always hope!!
Marlene says
That is so encouraging Galen, my girls are 6 and soon to be 11. The fighting constantly started a little over a year ago! I pray that when they get through these years by some miracle they are close friends!
CLARICELopez says
I had got a desire to start my commerce, however I didn’t have enough amount of cash to do this. Thank God my close friend advised to use the mortgage loans. Hence I received the short term loan and made real my dream.
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Christine says
I one time read a story about a woman stuck on the side of the road in her car in a remote location. She was miserable. But then said to herself that she would attempt to be thankful in spite of her predicament. So she openly began to list the things she was thankful for. Among them she amusing said, “I am thankful I am not stuck here in my pajamas.” I laughed out loud when I read that sentence and sometimes humor will get me through whatever it is I am going through. Although, my first reaction is often to panic and become frantic. Thankfully we have a God who is not panicking and is not frantic. Someone did come along and drive the woman to the nearest gas station where a tow truck just happen to pull into the station at the same time. She was able to get her car towed to the gas station and have it fixed.
Sarah Markley says
i love that! a non panicking God and one who has a sense of humor. thank you for the reminder. =)
TheNorEaster says
Glad you got to see the sunrise.
Sarah Markley says
thank you. it was beautiful. =)
Karen says
When the wind is howling, the rain is coming down sideways, and the sky is so dark you can’t tell the time of day, it appears as if everything is out of control. It is easy to forget that God is in control of all things, including the storms. Like you said, if He created them, He will bring it to its end. Even those more quiet storms where there may not be wind but the dreary rain just goes on for days. With each storm He has brought into my life I am learning to trust Him more. It’s not always easy to do, and I have a ways to go, but I am not as anxious as I used to be! Thank you for your post!
Sarah Markley says
what a brilliant reminder, karen. thank you.