About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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  1. Great post! It stirs pondering in my mind, but no, I don’t regret my choices. Some of them have not been the easy ones, or the obvious ones, and some caused heartache and stress, but God always has shown up and done SOMETHING with all of them. Some of those “things” have been fantastic friendships, leading someone to Him, and learning more about His love for me!

  2. Wonderful post. I honestly don’t know how to answer that one. As I sit here thinking about where I am and the choices I made that got me here, maybe one or two I would have changed? Perhaps I would, but I doubt it. You never know what blessings came from some mistakes. Much to think about though. In many instances I see God’s hand. Hmmm…

  3. I got pregnant when I was a junior in college. I dropped out of college to have the baby and move back home with my parents. It was quite a hard time. I later went back to school, changed my major and married a wonderful man who is a wonderful father to my daughter.
    The things that I thought were mistakes at the time ended up pointing me in a direction that led me back to God and back to pure contentment.
    God’s ways are so much better than our ways. I am so thankful for my daughter and the life that God has blessed me with…even if the journey here wasn’t my original plan.

  4. I too (like a previous commenter) got pregnant before marriage (I found out the day before my final exams my last semester before graduation, needless to say, my finals didn’t go so well). I never thought that was something that would happen to me, but I went down the wrong path, made some not-so-great choices, and it did.
    Through what I thought were mistakes, God has given me the most wonderful blessings I could have ever asked for. My children bring me more joy than I could have ever imagined. Yes, I had great plans for what I wanted to do with my life after graduating (I had been making contacts in NYC to pursue working in PR there, and now I’m in Illinois as a stay-at-home mom – big difference :))
    So often, I think about what life would be like if I had not made the choices I did, and it’s hard not to deal with regret about the choices themselves, but when I look at what I have now – Wow. I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

  5. I was just talking to my coworker about this today! There must be something in the air. 🙂 It’s hard to say I would undo or re-do certain things in my life, because there are people and situations in my life now I would never ever want to give up. Yes, there have been times of disgrace and episodes of shameful behavior I’d rather not have on my record. But on the other hand, shame and disgrace are mighty good teachers on the how-tos of repentance. Unfortunately, that’s a lesson I have to put into use far more often than I’d like! 🙂

  6. Absolutely! If I’d dug in my heels and refused to relocate from Massachusetts to Nebraska when my husband got a job here 9 years ago, I may have missed out on finding God! Sure it was painfully difficult to leave my family, my sister and my best friend. But I met God for the first time here in Nebraska, and that’s a choice I will never regret.

  7. Mary, you are so resilient and I love how you turn all the rocks that may be in your path into stepping stones that are building a bridge to even more of what God has for you! Thanks for helping all of us do that too.

  8. Thanks, Holley. Its funny. Ive been switching my blog over to WordPress, and as Ive looked back through my old posts, I see the same theme over and over. The cool part is, though, that God has used my stumbling blocks to help other people! (And its kind of nice to know Im not the only one with these hang-ups!)
    Love you! Hope youre having a great day!
    Mary Carver
    Blog:Giving Up on Perfect
    Write for:(in)courageandBlissfully Domestic
    To: givinguponperfect@gmail.com

  9. In answer to your question, my whole entire life, twists, turns, losses, gains, failures, bruises, bumps and all are the roadmap of my life that cause me to daily humble myself knowing that I am not only fearfully and wonderfully made but fearfully and wonderfully following a path that is uniquely my own. No regrets only gratitude, blessings and plenty of life lessons along the way!

  10. great, great, post! I often think of why I went to college since I got married while in college and then started a family right after…no ever finding a “real” job. But then I think of the best friends I found while there, the amazing experiences I had, the wrong choices I had to live through to be who I am. It is a decision I would make again hands down. Thank you for this post 🙂

  11. Mar,
    Today, I found out at noon that my sweet hubby has been laid off from his job. What timing with this post. My thought’s are still swimming (as are his), but after tears, I was reminded of this Phillips Craig and Dean line: You are on Your throne, You are God alone. Right now, in the good times and bad, You are on Your throne, You are God alone. I don’t know if I would consider this a bad time, after remembering His will is perfect, His plans sovereign. He has not forgotten about the Jackson family. I say this not knowing what to expect…fearful. We are basically a single income family…but, if HE provides for the birds, how much more will HE provide for us…not really on topic…but basically to sum up…NO REGRETS.

  12. Yes! I could have made better choices all along the way! I could have chosen to not have a baby at 19 but I chose life and I don’t regret it for a second. I could have chosen to give up on my marriage when it was in the dumpster with last week’s garbage, but I didn’t! Life may not always be what we dreamed but it is what we were meant to live!