The brilliant almost neon storefront stared me down. Happy teddy bears, grinning stuffed rabbits and plush dogs with roller skates seemed to lock eyes with me as we stopped in front of the build-your-own-stuffed-animal Mecca.
“Pleeeease, can we get one?” My eight-year-old whined.
No. Instantly remembering that including clothes, sunglasses and ahem, roller skates, each bear can cost upwards of $50.
More begging. And then the necessary parental speech about you-don’t-know-how-good-you-have-it-in-the-U.S.
She’s getting older and smarter and her negotiation skills are increasing.
“What if I brought my OWN money? Then can I come back?” She asked. “I have at least $30 in my piggy bank.”
Hope’s piggy bank had not seen a withdrawl since her birth. It was heavy with coins and crumpled twenty-dollar bills safely horded from Christmases and birthdays in the past.
“If you can find the money, then yes, we will come back in a few weeks.”
A couple hours after we got home from the mall an abnormal, empty silence permeated the upstairs.
I discovered that Hope had spilled the entire contents of her piggy bank on her bedroom floor and separated it into two piles of bills and coins. She stood in the doorway.
“I’m giving Naomi thirty of my own dollars so we all can go together, Mama.”
She’d divided her money neatly in half in order to expedite the trip to the store. Yes, she was being beautifully generous to her little sister, but she also wanted her
Very, very badly.
How badly did she want it? Enough to provide the venture capital so that her sister could accompany.
Sometimes getting what you want requires drastic measures.
Because of my story, I often talk to women about their own marriages and struggles. Sometimes we email, sometimes we talk on the phone. But with many women it comes back to the same question:
How badly do you want it?
How badly do you want your marriage to be healed? How badly do you want your family to be intact? If the motivation is strong enough, the goal beautiful enough, you will do whatever it takes to be whole.
How badly do you want to be free of food addiction? Pornography? Gossip? Alcoholism? Spending too much money? Do you want to be free enough to make drastic changes in your life?
When my husband counsels men regarding pornography addiction he says, “Dude, you might need to get rid of your computer.”
“But, but I use it for Facebook/email/work…!!”
One of his friends recently put a bullet in his iPhone and another through his computer for that very reason.
Again, how badly do you want to be free?
Any type of lifestyle or habit change takes discipline, intention and sometimes acting a little crazy. Drastic change might take drastic action.
Maybe you need to cut up the credit card? Cancel your gym membership? Delete your Facebook account? Get rid your cell phone? Pour out your wine? Get rid of cable? Confess to someone who cares about you?
You might simply need to begin praying again.
I don’t know what it takes for YOU to be FREE in your particular situation. For my eight-year-old it took sacrificing the money she’d saved for the past five years. But ask yourself how badly you want to be free from whatever is weighing you down and keeping you in prison.
It will take courage. It will take time. it might even take heartache. But if you want wholeness and healing badly enough you’ll do what it takes.
How badly do you want it?
by Sarah Markley, The Best Days of My Life
Mihan SEZ says
This blog is really nice. Being from the same background, I must say that you explored the truth. It provides the real information that one may be searching for. Thanks for bringing up such a nice post. You have concluded in an unbiased & fair way by presenting the facts. Keep it up.
thanks for the encouragement sarah, your words are beautiful and true.
Beverly @ The Buzz says
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m including it in my Saturday Shout Outs if you don’t mind. Hopefully, your message will reach those who need to hear it.
donna o says
Thank you for sharing such motivating and hard to hear words. In this day and age it is rare to find someone who wants to be “told what to do”. After all, we are free…free Americans, free in Christ, etc. To hear the words “You may need to give something up to accomplish victory over sin” is not popular or common for that matter. Oftentimes we don’t want to “get involved” because something is “none of our concern”. How unloving and unchristian. NOT that I am advocating getting into our friends business on a nosy, condemning way! there is a fine line. But scripture shows up that bearing one anothers burdens is our responsibility and what larger burden is there than being weighed down by habitual sin? it’s easier to being a sack of groceries or offer to watch the kids for a few hours than to encourage someone to possibly evaluate their spending habits or spend less time away from the house. Does that make sense? Some of the greatest revelations in my own life came when dear, dear friends came to me and encouraged me to re-evaluate a particular “issue” I may have had–gossip, unkindness towards my husband, anger, etc. Well, this was something I DID need to hear as well. I have so many areas that need addressing, I get over whelmed and end up doing nothing about any of them. A proper plan of attack is way more appropriate. He promises if I seek wisdom, He will give it… Thanks again!
Thank you for writing this, Sarah. I can’t say – here – on the internet – how much this has spoken to me.
But thank you.
This blog hits home for me… In a good way… makes me realize how bad do I want things to change in my life.
Thanks Sarah for this message- it’s so true. Commitment=Results- and if you aren’t overcoming the addiction/sin/goal that you want, you have to up your commitment level by figuring out how committed you really are- and if you aren’t 100%, then finding a way to get there (Even if it’s uncomfortable- like getting rid of your computer!). Thank you for the reminder- I needed this today.
I really like the point of this post… but one thing is bothering me: A bullet, really? I mean, I guess that makes a dramatic point, but he could have sold the computer and iPhone on eBay and put the money toward a nice couples getaway weekend to rekindle his marriage.
donna o says
As a result of reading this post…and then typing out a response, I was moved to take initiative towards reconciling with someone I have been on the outs with. It is always hard to hear words of criticism but when they’re right, they’re right. I must be willing to take responsibility where it lies and even if the other parties might not do the same, one has do to what is right, not what is easy. Thanks one more time!
This is applicable on more levels than one. Thank you for writing this, my friend!
amy in peru says
true. true. absolutely true. thank you.
amy in peru
PS. I think it is perfectly adorable how everything in this comment rhymed until now.
September has brought cooler temperatures to the large letter
YSL Bags christian louboutin wedges herve leger skirt sass & bide dresses just cavalli dresses uk
cheap jordans for sale says
Blasphemy! LOL Just kidding! I’ve read similar things on different blogs. I’ll take your word for it. Stay solid – your friend.
Istanbul′s Pera Awesome Tourist house restored to former fame
chanel dresses 2010 prada dresses 2009 vibram five fingers flow Manolo Blahnik shoes for men mbt shoes store locator
I learned a lot from your blog, thanks.