With slivers of time left, a good evening means jumping into my PJs after a longer-than-usual shower and squirreling some time away to write, read and email a bit.
Many times, though, life happens. I end up so tired, I have just enough energy to veg out in front of the boob tube, before pulling the covers under my chin.
Oh, great. Another day of doing “nothing”! I’d lament, lying in the dark. If only there were more hours in a day…
Those are the days I feel like I was nothing, frustrated with the lack of time.
The Problem Of Time
Over the years, God has given me glimpses of who He wants me to become. The specifics are pretty fuzzy, but they are passions that God’s tucked away in my heart.
How do I get from where I am to where God wants me to be?
In an attempt to get myself there sooner than later, I recently tried to solve the problem of time — by depriving myself of sleep.
Instead of resting to cure my restlessness, I stayed up too late into the night, trying to get more done, to further myself in God’s plans.
I tried to accomplish only what God can do: fulfill His plan for my life.
In my fervor, I turned to my ability to produce.
Like a project at work, I set my sights on doing something for God, rather than allowing God to do something through me.
I became a walking zombie, tiredly limping along, preoccupied and unfulfilled with my days. Poor Hubby got the leftovers and clutter took over the house.
Thankfully, God stopped me in my tracks and brought me back to my senses.
God paid no attention to my discouragement. Smiling confidently, He gave me a picture, to see me through my time-limited days.
“What is it?” was the name that the Israelites gave to this daily bread that fell down from heaven.
What is it? I echo, as I look at my days. My days sure don’t seem to add up to much.
“This is what the LORD has commanded, ‘Gather of it every man as much as he should eat…
… some gathered much and some little.
When they measured it with an omer, he who had gathered much had no excess, and he who had gathered little had no lack.“
It was a wake up call. Whether I gathered a little or a lot, God will still bless me in the end.
His provision for me is not given according to my efforts, but through what God has already determined.
I don’t understand how God is doing it, but He is making something meaningful out of our lives.
It turns out my problem isn’t with time, but belief. Out of our ordinary days, God calls us to trust and believe: He will fulfill His purpose in us.
Just as Christ walked by faith in the backdrop of daily life for thirty-three years, He calls me to do the same.
As I prioritize coming to Him daily, I rediscover the joy of being captive to God’s work: changing me. One day at a time.
I’m returning to lazy evenings. I plop down next to Hubby to watch a flick, with a scoop of yummy sherbet and fresh berries, along with a smile of joy.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13Leave a Comment