About the Author

Emily P. Freeman is a writer who creates space for souls to breathe. She is the author of four books, including her most recent release, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World. She and her husband live in North Carolina with their twin daughters and twinless son.

Recent Posts

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Girl, you did good just to have your ugly come out today. Mine been out all week!
    I’ve got to get it together.
    smooches,
    Larie

  2. I love this because I can almost guarantee that every one of us had let our ugly out from time to time. And then we’re redeemed for it. Always.

  3. And the Truth shall set you free! – from John 8:32
    Loved your ending bio – encouraging all ages to create space for souls to breathe! Goes along with your post. Letting go of the illusion of perfection and consistency creates that space!

  4. Amen. I completely understand. Had my own episode like that with my twins yesterday morning. Thankful for the One who gives me everything I need for life and godliness, even when I blow it.

  5. It is so helpful to be reminded that other Mommies lose it but more important to be reminded of how we can over come those moments with the help of the Lord. I am sitting at work disappointed with what I already showed my boys this morning. My husband has been out of town for a week with two more days until he returns and I’m just tired. Both of the boys had to go ‘potty’ as I said put your coats on. We missed the bus, I got ugly. I’m grateful for the forgiveness of my Father and now praying that my boys have peace in their day until I can see them and love them like I should have this morning.
    thanks,
    Sonia

  6. Thanks for sharing that, Sonia. I will pray for those boys, too…and for your mama heart as you face the next two days until your man returns!

  7. This was my day yesterday, too…I totally feel ya. I learned something really awesome from a Beth Moore study I’m doing (Living Beyond Yourself). Do you ever say “You’re KILLING me”…because Beth shared that they’re SUPPOSED TO BE. Being in relationships with frustrating people (whomever they might be at the time) is what brings out our bad so we’re aware of it and God can deal with it. So now every time I say “You’re KILLING me” (usually in an unpleasant way) I remember it’s a moment when I can ask God to change my heart… 🙂

  8. I love the conclusion you have drawn and I appreciate you having shared a moment of your life with us. I know I can’t do it either, not without help from GOd and from my sisters in Christ.

  9. Amen! Thank you for sharing your heart. Knowing that I’m not the only one that loses it with her family, and being reminded that there is hope in our Lord, is so encouraging. It helps me to say sorry to my kids after blowing up and why I’m sorry. That I’m not perfect, but with the grace of the Holy Spirit we can forgive others and ourselves and start anew. Love and blessings, Theresa

  10. ha, I have TOTALLY been there a time or two in the last few days. I knew I was cranky when my two year old took her daddy doll and went, “Daddy, RUUUUUUUUN! It’s MOMMY! AHHHHH!” *cough, footshuffle* I’m so glad I’m forgiven when I fall so short on patience sometimes, and I’m so glad when I think to demonstrate that grace by sitting down to apologize to my daughter and tell her mommy isn’t any more perfect than she is and sometimes mommy is wrong and overreacts, too, and I’m sorry for that.

  11. I had been a “roarer” lately . . . that is until I was hit with the flu and the kids went to G-ma’s for a few days. I missed them TERRIBLY. And it gave me much prayer time about my attitude in anger and frustration. It was usually anger and frustration over mess, disorder and discipline. I am now encouraged to lead and teach with as much patience as I can pull from the Father. If I do not pull. . . I crumble and roar.
    Thanks for the reminder that I need his grace in my weaknesses. Whether I am weak with the flu, weak as I chase two boys while I am 10 weeks pregnant (with the flu) or weak in just trying to make the routine of daily life fun & enjoyable, not dull – I MUST draw from the God of all power.

  12. SOOO Been there done that. It’s awful, isn’t it. I call it my “Shrieks like a Banshee” voice. But sometimes everything conspires against you in the perfect storm of frustration.

  13. I can so relate to this. Thank you for being honest and sharing your heart. I struggle with alot of anger issues for different reasons as well as chronic pain/illness so needless to say I tend to lose it with my kids more than I like to admit! And I’ve also learned that on the days when I’m seeking God’s help, and not just once but all throughout the day, is when I do so much better at not being the ‘roaring monster’. And thankfully on those days when I still get overwhelmed and take it out on the ones around me He gives me grace to ask for forgiveness and get up the next day and try again. Cause you’re right…we can’t do it ourselves! And I like that verse that talks about praying without ceasing…..I live that one on the bad days! 🙂 Thanks again for a great post.

  14. from your fellow-monster currently wearing her paper-thin Betty mask, attached with a worn-out, stretched-thin, about-to-pull-out-of-the-staple rubber band: amen. thank you for this. i am rejoicing at the reminder whose face He sees when He looks at me: Jesus, my sure Hope.

  15. Thank you so much for sharing. My ugly came out yesterday with my kindergartener, and it’s been eating me up. I need to let go of the notion that I am supposed to be a perfect mom.

  16. Thank you for openly sharing your heart!
    I sometimes look up the scripture to read it in it’s full context– I need to read as much of His Word as I can. The verse is the beautiful photo is in 12:9 rather than 19… just in case anyone else is looking for it too.
    Thanks again for sharing yourself with us!

  17. Emily this was me this morning! Last night, patient and loving with my temper tantrum throwing 3 year old…this morning….not my best look. LOL! Thanks for being open about your “ugliness”….you aren’t alone!

  18. I can’t do it either. I’m crying and typing this, Emily. Because I KNOW the One who should be my strength, patience and wisdom, but I can’t seem to let Him. Why? Not because I have it together – just ask my kids about how often I find myself crying or yelling. Wow. Now that it’s out there, I feel like maybe someone will read and pray and somehow I’ll look to God instead of my ineffective attempts at parenting!
    Thanks for being vulnerable and real with us. We as women need to know we’re not alone.

  19. i’m so thankful that people on this blog are real & honest… not pretending to be super-christians. this was (in)couraging to me!!!!
    xoxo,
    jessica…in progress.

  20. It is always comforting to hear that I am not the only one! Thank you for being open and honest. How true that we can’t do this alone. When I first became a mother I was so horrified at how selfish I was (and still am!). Thank God that he doesn’t leave us to do it alone, and also for his mercy and grace!

  21. Thank you for your honesty!!!! I felt the same way, last night!! I have a toddler. I put my daughter to bed and prayed, “Please Lord, help me, tomorrow, to do it all better.” You are right, we can not do it alone!

  22. Wavelength, wavelength, Emily… I roar, and when that doesn’t relieve the pressure, it’s hysteria. I wrote about sufficient grace today too. Thanks for being here too. It helps.

  23. I have two boys. The younger is 4 3/4. The older just turned 6 this week. I am nuts trying to get all the favors and decorations and food ready for his party this weekend. Sad how such a happy event can become so AAAGGGHHH! It’s a dinosaur theme. I’m praying that there is only dino roaring at the party and no ugly mom roar. Any prayers are appreciated!

  24. I hear this too. I posted something of a similar nature not too long ago. Sometimes I need to hear that others are struggling too – and continuing to seek redemption in the midst of it all.

  25. Ohhhh my ugly shows more often then I would like it too and I know that in order to change that in me it will take consistent work and time with my Savior. Good writing.

  26. You and me both. Right now I’m feeling like a horrid mom. I can’t seem to get it together and my mind is bouncing from subject to subject without fully stopping to comprehend even one thing floating around up there. Thank goodness for God’s mercy and forgiveness. I think a long talk with God after the kids go to bed is in order. Thank you so much for the inspiration and know that you’re not alone!

  27. Oh Emily how I relate! I just wrote a simliar post an hour ago on my blog. Uhhhggg. But as always, the Lord showed up!
    Thanks for being real!

  28. I can’t imagine your sweet little self yelling. But knowing what our name (mom) sounds like in that awful high pitched shrill when you are dead tired and just wish you could go to bed…ah, yes, I can kind of picture just how you must sound. I’ve been there a couple {wink} of times myself.

  29. Your transparency is beautiful~ even if you were talking about your “ugly side.” 😉 What’s so refreshing is we all got em… they pop out so fast though, don’t they~
    Good reminder here that it’s not about pulling myself up by my bootstraps, trying to do better~ but looking to Him.. drawing on His strength.. and knowing He’s enough all by Himself – without any help from me! 🙂
    thanks so much for sharing.

  30. Emily, I think it’s so important to own up to our ugly days or moments so we all realize that we’re all in it, all struggling, all seeking that grace.
    A couple years before I even started blogging I wrote down how I felt right after I lost it, and I keep it in the sidebar of my blog today. I can’t tell you how many mothers say thank you for sharing that you’ve been there. And you sharing it here will do that for many. You encouraged me to look to God instead of just within myself for that patience. I need that reminder every now and then.

  31. Oh, me too. Thank you, Emily.
    Today was a long one, but as I told my two year old tonight.
    Tomorrow will be better.
    Because we know Who holds tomorrow and His mercies are new every morning!

  32. Yes!! God is enough. Thanks for the reminder to rely on Him….even when the ugly is fighting it’s way to the surface.

  33. Emily, this post has been sitting open on my browser for more than 24 hours.
    How can I find the words to rightly express thank you? To say that I’ve read the post several times, and didn’t want to close it, didn’t want to let it go?
    Because in these words, I knew I wasn’t alone….
    I don’t know how to find the right words to say all that…
    So I just whisper this:
    Yes… yes… yes.
    *Thank you.*
    Every, every blessing….
    Ann

  34. Betty Crocker to Monster Mommy, you’ve hit it on the dot. Ding, ding, I recognize that one! So glad you had something up…just popped on over to see if you had a little breath of fresh air after Monster Mommy day and…you have. Thank you!

  35. An honest heart and amazing Grace! Nobody is perfect and not everyone is honest. You gave us hope for times we fall apart.