About the Author

A three-time tongue cancer survivor and mama of children from “hard places," Michele Cushatt is a (reluctant) expert on pain, trauma and the deep human need for connection. Her most recent book, "Relentless: The Unshakeable Presence of a God Who Never Leaves", wrestles with the dogged presence and affection of...

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Comments

  1. Thank you for echoing my feelings. I am also so weary and many times want to give up. But God carries me through each day, comforting and encouraging me.

  2. Total exhaustion. I am 68 and packing my place by myself to move across the country to the place I call home. This is one answer to my loneliness. Back to a place where it is as quiet as I want it but with the opportunity to be with supportive like minded friends. These past 3 years have been difficult to say the least. So many plans cancelled, so many dreams down the tube. But it has been an opportunity to grow spititually and figure what really is important to me.

    • Madeline,

      Abba Father Please help Madeline with her exhaustion. Guide her steps. Give her the strength to pack up & move across the country. Comfort her in this time. In Jesus Name AMEN.

      Blessings 🙂

    • Losing my husband near the beginning of Covid (June 2020) due to Covid, created a whole other layer of isolation, loneliness, and grief on top of just the horribleness of Covid itself. It will be two years on the 30th and I am so thankful everyday that I discovered a widows group where for the last year and a half we have found your words to be so true. We have created “a small fellowship of shared grief, a place where we’re safe to admit our loneliness and need right here, in the presence of each other and the Father who loves us all.”

      Just having someone who understands and shares the same journey has been a lifesaver.

  3. I am 67 – just retired – with no preparation for retirement – family lives at the other end of the province and I am lonely – tired. Wanted to retire near family after living 44 years in the north and can’t afford the cost of living to be living closer to them. Ironically, now I have the time to visit and family is incredibly busy. S I G H.

  4. Tears are flowing down my cheeks. I too feel so lonely. I also feel such guilt for the loneliness because outwardly there appears to be no reason for me to be lonely. Thank you, you have validated my feelings and allowed me to accept them.

    • Thank you for allowing us to weep with you, Beverly. I think, at its core, our loneliness is homesickness, a longing for the heaven we were made for, in God’s continuous presence. Your feelings are valid, friend. We’re with you.

  5. Michelle thank you for your beautiful and heartfelt post! It is so comforting to know that we’re not alone on this journey and others are going through the same things we are! Thank you for being vulnerable and real, I think that is where we need to be as women. This too is what I pray, Lord Jesus come. Amen.❤️

  6. I am lonely as well. This post came at the right time. I am tired because I need to create space to decompress and feel my feelings and thoughts with Him.

  7. The beginning of the pandemic in 2020 and then a health issue (not related to the pandemic) kept me somewhat confined at home and lonely. Since then, dear friends have moved away, and my sister had her Homegoing to Heaven, and we’re going through a difficult transition in our church. I admit I am lonely and am in need of joining in together to “cry out to our one, true Refuge”

  8. Yes, Michele, I feel that loneliness, too. Quarantining from friends, being cut off from some because of my beliefs, less traveling for visits with family. It all adds up to a lot of alone-ness. I’ve spent a lot of time on my own, in my life. But this is hard.

  9. I suffer from depression, anxiety and isolation. Those of us who suffer from this know all too well how God seems so far away, thus the loneliness. I look to and wait on the Lord. My husband and I are in our mid 70’s. The Lord has always brought me thru these seasons but this one is the longest one. May the Lord come to us all who suffer with this. He is our Healer and strong Deliverer!

  10. My Mom-in-love is feeling lost, scared, and lonely as whle recovering in rehab from a broken hip, she became confused about her mobility and fell again. She is a woman of faith, and though we as a family visit her often and have prayed with her and over her, she still feels lonely. Don’t know where I’m going with this in my thought process of sharing this information but think I just needed to put it out there in this safe space.

    • I’m so glad you shared with us, Maura! Thank you. Aging brings its own loneliness, especially as our bodies begin to fail us. I’m sure several others reading this article can relate.

  11. I am afraid. Our world seems to be falling apart and I wonder what future there will be for my children. I sometimes feel hopeless. And then I feel guilty for not trusting God more and believing Him for good things. Sometimes I just want to hide away somewhere, or just go on to heaven. But that makes me feel like a coward. This is what I, a believer of 30 years, am struggling with.

    • All valid thoughts and feelings, Amy. I’ve felt some of the same. This week I’ve been studying Psalm 3 and Psalm 42-43, in which the writer says some of these same things. It is a comfort to know we’re not the only ones.

  12. You succinctly and insightfully described the indescribable for me, after 10 years of estrangement from my 2 sons, for reasons which haven’t been offered, as well as learning I have a 2 year old granddaughter, my first grandchild, who was hidden away from me. My family and friends find it my circumstances unfathomable and are at a loss for words. Thank you for your words.

    “Regardless of the source, suffering creates an otherness, even when we are all suffering together. Pain — whether emotional, physical, or spiritual — acts as a prison, isolating and eclipsing. It convinces us we are alone in our grief, separated by our pain. And the resulting loneliness only adds to the weight of our suffering.”

    • I’m sorry for your suffering, Kathleen. Rejection from those you love and who should love you is deeply painful, especially when you’re unable to make it right. My heart aches with yours.

  13. My loneliness comes from loss. I lost my mother two years ago this month and I miss her so very much. I miss being able to pick the phone up for any reason at all and knowing that she was at the other end to comfort me.

  14. I am burned out and grieving. Dealing with a past trauma has beaten me done. My hubby and friends can’t understand why new triggers come up. Honestly, I can’t understand either, but I can’t just turn them off like they think I can. I need to take it to God every single day, but it is still hard. Being alone in my healing. I feel like I need others to help me, but I don’t want to be a burden.

    Diane

  15. Thank you for this article&the opportunity for ladies to express.As I read comments of our loneliness as belivers it reminds me of the loneliness Christ went through as He was abandoned by others(those closest to Him)yet He soo loved us unconditionally.Amazing ❤️ love!!May we continue to support each other as we continue to follow Jesus in such challenging times

    • Yes, such wisdom, Lorna. Jesus knew our loneliness, he felt what we feel, even more so on the cross when he felt forsaken by God the Father. He was forsaken so we would never be. Amazing love! May that be our comfort today.

  16. Thank you. I am so tired. Exhausted, really. I’m tired of keeping a stiff upper lip and pushing on. Tired of feeling the almost brokenness that this long pandemic and national and international events have caused. And yes, lonely too. My office, which I used to enjoy going to every day, is now pretty much empty as our company has embraced remote working/come to the office whenever. I rarely go there any more. So many of my friends have retired/are remote working and have moved far away. My husband, the retired introvert, is fine with the quiet. While we are so very lucky to have our daughters and their families nearby, they have their lives to live as they juggle demanding jobs, toddlers and daycare. We often are called to babysit to give them a break-but not the socializing that we used to do, as they are exhausted too. And I am ashamed that there are so many who have it worse than me, but I still feel like I’m complaining and not grateful for what I have. I am grateful, but… My prayers have gone stale-same old, same old, and I am struggling. Hear us, O Lord.

  17. Having worked in public health, these last few years have been exhausting! I think what I’m lonely for is for what we had pre-pandemic. But! Thanks to my Savior I get through each day finding joy in little things, and in big things as well. Thank you for your honesty! I know I’m never alone!

  18. Thank you for your honesty about loneliness. I live w/ chronic, frequent migraines & spend a lot of time alone in pain but so thankful to never be completely alone because I have JESUS. Also am struggling w/ long Covid…the exhaustion so many days is so discouraging. GOD is teaching me to savor the moments & live 1 step at a time w/ HIM. GOD Bless❤️

  19. Michele, thank you so much for sharing this! I too have been battling loneliness. I think, if only I had a husband I wouldn’t be lonely or kids, I wouldn’t be lonely. But these are lies. Yes, they are beautiful blessings and I still long for them but the truth is, we are never alone for our God is always with us and for us. We will make it through, friend. We have to keep our eyes focused on our sweet Jesus and remember, He is always with us, giving us the strength we need for each day. He’s a good Father who delights in giving us, his babies, good gifts. Praying you feel his love and comfort today. God bless you, friend ❤️

  20. Thank you for this invitation to share our loneliness. My heart goes out to the writers of all the comments I’ve read.

    I’m lonely for companionship. Friends my age are in different phases of their lives such as marriage and parenthood. Their priorities understandably change and I rarely make the cut.

    I’m very lonely for marriage. I want to be a wife and a mother some day. I’m so broken from giving so much, investing so much, but hardly ever receiving.

    I’m lonely for a hand to hold. I’m lonely for a tender word. I don’t know what else to do but to keep talking to Jesus through it all.

  21. Hello Sisters in Faith. I am thankful for your strength and encouragement from day to day.

    God knows His children and wants our characters to be shaped into the very likeness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is a lifelong journey. So don’t get in a hurry. Ask God for wisdom to take one day at a time. We should pray that we need the Holy Spirit to guide us in decision making.

    We are off to a great start. Remember, God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. The enemy will never give up on trying to scare us into doing wrong. Time belongs to God and due season is our Harvest Time in all areas of our lives.

    Thank You Lord for Grace and Mercy.

    We love You Lord.

    Brenda

    Your Sister in Christ

  22. Thank you. Yes I believe we are suffering in silence and it’s good to know we are not alone. It has been a rough several years due many different things on top of the pandemic. My prayer for all of us is that we can truly seek refuge in the Lord and a few good friends who will not judge but to be there if nothing else to listen.

  23. Michele, we need your words. Thank you.

    I’m bone weary. It seems no matter how much I rest, the tiredness just comes in a fresh wave. I crave silence too.

  24. Today was a hard day. Words spoken amongst one another- ugly. Tears & frustration. We are all so so tierd. Trying. To no where.
    Hopeless to Hopefull. Happy to sad.
    Today I took a long shower locked myself in my room & gave up. Even now lying in my bed not sure of my next….

  25. I’m just tired and discouraged and lonely and sad. I guess that about sums up my pessimistic attitude right now.

  26. I absolutely know that loneliness and at times takes my breath away. My husband passed away four years ago leaving me financially devastated and heartbroken. Then came Covid and empty nest right together. I’m also one that never needed a lot of people around but enjoyed their company and time between. I wish I could tell you that all is well but it’s not but very determined and hopeful that God has a plan and perfect timing.

  27. Your relentless vulnerability is a gift.Thankful for your voice in this world. I hear you and I relate. Grace and peace to my sister in Christ.

  28. Amen! The hits keep coming and the mountains tops are such a distant memory. Lord, please hear our prayers and bring comfort, peace, and relief. Come back soon Lord!

  29. Michele, thank you so much for sharing this! I’m so broken from giving so much, investing so much, but hardly ever receiving. I am here still trusting in God for my change to come. thank you sis.

  30. Michele,

    These past two+ years have made many bone weary. I have worked as ICU clerical in a Covid unit-now closed thank God. Most people don’t understand what we saw & went through on a daily basis. Add to that we were isolated at home except for work. No one to really talk to about our situations or emotions. I was ok with that at first, but then I hungered for friendship. Just being around a few friends in church would help. Praising God that has changed some.

    Like you though, I often crave silence. This world is super noisy. After 40 hrs. ( 4 – 10 hr. days) working in a hospital I am desperate to be at home relaxing with hubby. It is my way to recharge my battery.

    Blessings 🙂

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