I look around me. Everywhere I turn, I see beauty, from the tree-framed lake to the deep blue sky.
My eyes take in the bright red of the cranberries and the dazzling brilliance of the sun reflecting off the soft blanket of snow. Winter has gently made its appearance.
And I am overwhelmed … overwhelmed with disappointment in myself.
I have so much, yet I appreciate so little.
My life is easy compared to many. I am blessed with a wonderful family, immediate and extended. I live in a beautiful setting and have found work I can do from home. My church is supportive and nurturing.
I have so much more than many.
But satisfaction is fleeting!
While others celebrate the days they can just get out of bed, I complain about being too busy. While others rejoice in the moments when they have the strength to type even a few words, I lament the lack of time to write. While others praise God for the instances they can breathe without pain, I bemoan that I have to take the dog for a walk yet again.
I long for what I don’t have.
I sit in my swing, the snow-sprinkled branches swaying gently in the breeze, surrounded by the sound of geese “talking” and birds chirping, yet a joyful spirit eludes me. I worry, ask what if and how come, and pray.
I pray long and hard. Where is that elusive peace and contentment?
Oh, there are days I can claim it—when I have peace; when I can encourage others with the hope found in Christ; when my heart dances with the joy of knowing Jesus.
Then, a short while later, something doesn’t go the way I want and everyone hears about it, or in an exhausted state I snap back to irritation.
Christ hasn’t changed. Salvation is still mine. God still freely pours out His grace for me.
But I have changed.
Oh, how I long to be done with those feelings! To be joyful because of and in spite of—in all circumstances—as Paul learned to be (Philippians 4:11–12).
I am slowly realizing that all of those issues, whatever those are, must be laid at the foot of the cross. Not once, not twice, but many times—always with my eyes focused on the Savior.
How grateful I am that my God doesn’t give up on me! In His mercy, He lets me turn over my insecurities and heartaches to Him repeatedly. He carries them for me, so I can experience the freedom of living in Christ.
Depressed about missing out on deep conversations with my daughter—give it to Him!
Worry about my children’s futures—lay it down!
Concern over finances—let Him carry it!
But then my eyes shift down, and I once again clothe myself with the weight of this dark world.
My prayer is that one day I will be close enough to Jesus to surrender a hurt once and for all. For now, though, I will embrace His unending grace with joy and thanksgiving.
“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
With the dawn of a new year, this is the perfect time to examine our Christian walk and to begin our lives anew, putting our trust in the Redeemer. Are there burdens you carry that you need to lay at the foot of the cross? What is preventing you from doing so? How has the Lord proven faithful to take your load and give you rest?
By Julie Sunne
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Jennifer says
Julie, Oh, how I can relate to the feeling of weariness when I find myself, again, not freed from the trappings of this world. I love your reminders about Him being with us constantly, arms spread wide, to take on our burdens. He is enough. He can do this. He can take it all and we can live in the freedom and peace of His presence — right now. Your post is powerful in its vulnerability and invitation to be real with one another. Thank you.
Julie Sunne says
Absolutely, He can–when I let Him. It is not easy for me to be vulnerable and to acknowledge weakness, but authenticity is the door to growth. Blessings to you, Jennifer.
Julie Sunne says
Absolutely, He can–when I let Him. It is not easy for me to be vulnerable and to acknowledge weakness, but authenticity is the door to growth. Blessings to you, Jennifer.
Shelly says
Wow.. You just described my daily life. I am comforted by the fact that I’m not the only one. I know there is hope and that one day, I can and will give it all to Him and never take it back! Thank you 🙂
Julie Sunne says
And I am comforted knowing God is using my failings to encourage you, Shelly.
Patty says
Perfect way to start my devotion this morning! I needed this. I was so irritable with my children and husband as we took down Christmas. It was so awful and I felt like a failure — you know that feeling when you are watching yourself do something you don’t want to do and you can’t seem to stop it no matter how much you want to? (The very thing I don’t want to do, I do and the thing I want to do, I can not ~ Paul) … For a while I just couldn’t let God’s mercy in. I wouldn’t forgive myself. Then in the stillness after I had wept over my behavior, I heard our sweet Lord. He said, “If I can forgive you, who are you to hold onto this unforgiveness?” It was in such a sweet way that He showed me that I needed to let go and accept His mercy. And, the fruit of that experience (where’s the delete button!?) is that I am more broken and humble and grateful. I am praying He’ll keep me here. Thanks for sharing your journey. You blessed me today.
Julie Sunne says
Thank you, Patty. Your comment blessed me as well. I’ve been where you were so many times. I need to go back to the cross over and over. Hopefully, that journey gets shorter over time.
Sarah says
My thoughts exactly. Why is it so hard to simply let go and let God? Instead I always find myself with my arms full of all the “stuff,” struggling to carry it with me as I go about being a wife and mom…and just a woman. It’s ridiculous, really, that I keep taking up all these things that I *just* laid down at His feet. Thanks so much for sharing your heart!
Julie Sunne says
It does seem that we keep picking it back up, doesn’t it? Wow, what a merciful, gracious God we serve! Have a blessed, “stuff-free” day, Sarah.
Lindsay says
This past Sunday, my church held a prayer service with several different “stations.” One of those stations was a darkened communion room. In the middle of the room was a wooden cross surrounded by candles and on each little table were small paper crosses and a single stamp that said “PAID.” We were told we could write out our confession or our burden on the cross, then stamp it PAID to remind us that Jesus paid the price for our sin. Then, we could walk over and pin our cross to THE cross and hand over that burden to God. You cannot imagine how wonderful it felt to put that burden on the cross once and for all. The symbolism was simple, but the meaning was profound.
Thank you for the reminder that we can always lay our burdens down at the cross for Him to help us shoulder.
Julie Sunne says
What a wonderful image of laying it all down, of giving it all to the Lord, Lindsay! Thanks for sharing.
Christy says
Wonderful Julie-thank you-you have just inspired my next article 🙂
Julie Sunne says
So thankful my words stirred you, Christy. Have fun writing your article.
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I want to intentionally purpose to live in the moment, to be content, and to fully trust the Lord with all those things that tend to make me worry or fret, and I definitely want to lay down all fear of the uncertainties of the future. He knows my future and my trust is in Him!
Julie Sunne says
Amen, Kathy! He’s always waiting.
Beth Coulton says
Thanks, Julie! This resounds in me in conjunction with my one word for this year, fearless. I worry about so much that I don’t have to worry about! Lay it at God’s feet and trust Him. It really all boils down to a trust issue. Do I believe God is big enough to handle the ups and downs of my daily life? I’m aiming to prove in 2012 that I do!
Julie Sunne says
Cheering for you, Beth! We all live with fear in one form or another–lay it down.
Charina @ Pondered Thoughts says
Julie, that is all He wants us to do, He is waiting for us to lay our burdens on Him…..
Julie Sunne says
Yes … Why is that so hard for many of us to do, Charina?
Beth Williams says
“I have so much, yet I appreciate so little. ” My sentiments exacely.
I am blessed in soo many ways: family, health, jobs, live around mountains, the list could go on and on. And yet, like you, I find it hard each day to have the peace and joy that only God gives. I long for what I don’t have. The happiness I used to enjoy, instead of complaining about small insignificant things.
Thanks for reminding me that we can lay down our burdens on Him & rest in the knowledge that He is in control!
Julie Sunne says
It is the only way, Beth!
New Year of Boldness « Julie Sunne says
[…] (Choosing Obedience Over the Fat of the Ram), to trust (Not My Will), to lay my burdens on Him (Lay Them Down—Again). He has repeatedly shown me His faithfulness, giving me no reason to doubt Him. While considering […]
Ashley says
Yes, again and again laying down my ways for His. Thank you for this reminder to look up, Julie — to taste, see, enjoy the beauty that clothes every day. I’m continually learning and practicing the surrender of my expectations, ideas of right, my future and that of my children, knowing He is infinitely faithful!
Julie Sunne says
Surrender is such a difficult word to put into action, Ashley. Practicing over and over, remembering Christ’s surrender of His life for us (all because He loves us with a depth we can only imagine), and forcing our hands open to let go–these are the ways to unburden ourselves so we can be effective disciples. Thank you, Jesus!
Julie Sunne says
Surrender is such a difficult word to put into action, Ashley. Practicing over and over, remembering Christ’s surrender of His life for us (all because He loves us with a depth we can only imagine), and forcing our hands open to let go–these are the ways to unburden ourselves so we can be effective disciples. Thank you, Jesus!
Sara Campbell says
so refreshing to read that after a long day…
Julie Sunne says
Grateful you found it uplifting, Sara. May your tomorrow not seem so long.