I was scrolling through my social media feed recently when, yet again, I came across some very hurtful comments.
I am shocked at how mean people can be. There are stories so heartbreaking they bring tears to our eyes, but the name-calling and blaming and judging still abound. People have a sense of security as they type mean comments from behind their computer screens and phones.
But where is the kindness? Where is the compassion?
The truth is we all have stuff going on in our lives that you can’t see on social media. We all have trials, pain, and struggles. Loss and grief happen to everyone, and we all make mistakes. That doesn’t mean we have to openly share about all these things across social media for everyone to see.
People share their best moments, their happiest moments, their prettiest moments on social media. That doesn’t mean they all have perfect, happy, pretty lives all the time. Social media is carefully edited, so just because we don’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t part of their lives.
No one is social-media perfect. We can never know another’s struggles by scrolling through their highlights because there is a real person with a real story behind those posts, pins, and photos. A real story that involves difficulty, worries, flaws, brokenness, and scars.
Things aren’t always what they seem, but we see things and judge. We see things and jump to conclusions.
But the truth is that we’re all in the same boat. We are all on a journey that at some point in time will take us through pain. We all struggle in some way, and we don’t know what God has asked anyone else to walk through by simply looking at what they post.
I want to encourage you to look beyond what you see on the screen.
Among the many people you scroll through, someone may very well be in the midst of chaos and pain. Someone may have lost their job and may not know how they will pay the rent. Someone’s loved one may have just been diagnosed with cancer, or someone may have lost a child. We don’t know what everyone’s story is, so be kind. Be compassionate.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
Let us freely share kind words, love, and encouragement. Let us be quick to uplift and encourage, rather than assume and envy.
When I admire someone, it isn’t because they have everything so easy in life. It is because they have struggled through, they have endured trials, and they have persevered. Those are the things we need to acknowledge in one another. We need to say the words — verbal and written — that will build each other up.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
The path God has us on looks different for each of us, but we are all on this journey of life together. None of us are perfect. None of us have the best, happiest life. There is no room to cast judgments because life is hard enough, and we are all trying to do our best.
Let us walk alongside one another, lifting one another up along the way with love and kindness.
Jennifer,
I try to make it a habit to kind of study people when I meet them or see them. What does their posture say? What is that look in their eyes? What strikes me when I just glance at them? Their smile? How that color looks on them? A new hairdo? It’s amazing the response you get when you say something (and mean it) like, “You know you have a really pretty smile?” Or, “I love the way you did your hair.” It doesn’t always have to be a profound noticing of a character trait or accomplishment – of course those are great too! Simply look for the positive and then speak it. What if we all did that instead of jumping to conclusions and hurling insults? I’m right their with you, Jennifer. Let’s turn this ship around….a word aptly spoken….
Blessings,
Bev xx
I sure couldn’t agree more, Bev! Even the smallest kindness can mean the world to someone. Thank you for spreading that kindness!
Our church has some faithful warrior saints who serve children each week, and all four of my sons were blessed to have one Sunday school teacher who drilled kindness into her class with Ephesians 4:32. She never had to raise her voice, and her smile never faded, but the words came through with power: Be Kind to one another.
Unfortunately, at the age of 90, she does not have a social media presence . . .
What a gift she must have been to so many children! I can only imagine the lives she changed for the better through those she taught kindness. Thank you for sharing her story with us, Michele!
Jennifer, your words rang so true to me this morning. It breaks my heart to see all of the vitriol on social media, and kindness is definitely the key to right this ship on a better course. I know how I feel when someone smiles at me, asks how I’m doing and truly listens. It lifts my soul! < I pray God will give me multiple opportunities to spread love today and everyday! Thanks for your wonderful post!
Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow!
Joy in Jesus
Lara <
Beautifully said, Lara! May we all be soul lifters!
Thank you, Jennifer, for an important post. To me, people generally seem to be kind online until it comes to pontificating their opinion about something . . . usually religion or politics–or the most potently explosive, a combination of the two. You said something here that is most wise: “People have a sense of security as they type mean comments from behind their computer screens and phones.” That’s it. It’s easy when we are writing to disembodied people from behind our little screen, to lose all sense of decorum. We gain a false bravado and forget that we are addressing real people, people made in the likeness and image of God–people who deserve our love and respect, no matter what their opinion, no matter what ours. I think your admonition to remember the apostle Paul’s words and the words of Christ go a long way to helping us tame our flaming tongues. Frankly, what we post when it comes particularly to politics (and I’m surely including myself here) is cowardly. Likely, we would not say these things to people in person. I took a FB break this summer, and I didn’t miss it one bit. I have determined no longer to post what could be remotely seen as controversial. I have tried to be civil. I have tried to dialogue with people. But FB, e.g., does not provide a nuanced platform in which to do this. And besides, how much more like Christ to be kind and loving, to use FB and other social media as a way to brighten the lives of those who don’t know him. What kind of impression are Christians making for Him to the world, when they do not treat others as He did? It’s really something to think about and to take to heart.
Tx so much for sharing!
Lynn Morrissey
Such great thoughts here, Lynn. Thank you so much for sharing and giving us something to think about. I hope we can all really try to spread His love and kindness as much as we can… and brighten this world!
I pray to hold my tongue and offer words of encouragement in my household tomorrow, its so easy when something bad happens in my day that has hurt me to slip into the old and take out friustrations on those we love. it sounds crazy and is just that to let out hurtful words because we are hurting ourselves. I wish my husband can see im hurting in those moments and i could remove my protection barrier that pushes him away at that time and just hold me. I am working in it but its inbuilt, I pray God will change this in me. very vulnerable here. Great post that sooke to me tonight
Joining you in this prayer, Jas. I know many of us can understand those feelings. Praying He helps us in thoss moments.
Jennifer,
Great post. Candice Cameron Bure has a new book out “Kind is the New Classy”. One quote from her book: “The world has a way of defining you if you don’t know who you are before you get out there.” Our society makes it easy to “speak your mind” & say anything. Never mind if it hurts someone’s feelings. One can get caught up in the “frenzy” of the moment of social media. Forget the person & just “speak your mind” on a topic hit click & done. What most don’t realize is that many people read all comments & they are leaving a foot print of who they really are. For that reason I’m careful what I post or say about things. Before posting or saying anything I ask myself it it true, kind, helpful, or necessary. If any of those are a nay then I stay silent. People today don’t stop to think before they speak. An opinion comes to mind & out it comes verbally or on computers. They are also ruining their Christian walk. They are not setting a good example for the world. We as Christians need to be careful what we say & do. We are to be in the world, but not of it. We should act & speak differently so as to be noticed . I have always tried to be civil & loving towards others. Another motto I use is to treat others how I want to be treated. Being kind & loving is what I want & so that is what I give out.
Blessings 🙂
Oh that is such a great quote, Beth! And such a great point about needing to stop and think before we speak. People just don’t realize how much some off hand comment can mean. We should be acting and speaking differently! Thank you for sharing these important thoughts with us!
What you say is very true. If everyone was kinder to one another it would be a much better world to live in. I have always tried to take the path you recommend as I do not like cruelty and kindness is the opposite of that.
It sure would be a different and better world, Jean. Praying we can get there!
Jennifer,
What an awesome reminder that we need. I tend to stay off social media anymore as it’s so hateful and people are so mean and hurtful. I think after reading this, I need to go on social media and “be the change I want to see in others”, and hopefully it will rub off.
Thank you so much for sharing your awesome abilities and writings with us all.
Thank you ladies above who come “ home “ each morning worth me as we read these uplifting posts.
Yes! Be the change you want to see in others. I love, love, love that! Thank you for being such a kind and loving part of this community, Jen!
Wonderful truths and encouragement, Jennifer! Thank you and blessings!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Christie!
I firmly believe that each of us has the power to bless someone by being a conduit of grace in our everyday life through the Holy Spirit guiding our thoughts, words and actions. What a joy it is for me to say something encouraging to a family member, friend, neighbor and the strangers that cross my path daily. I must admit……I am the one that feels blessed by being kind and thoughtful (Jesus loves to bless us when we bless others……that is just how my Savior rolls )!
Blessings, Patty from Colorado
I sure love that thought and second it, Patty! It is such a wonderful feeling of joy when we can help and encourage others! May we all be a conduit of grace!
Jennifer, what a great reminder to look beyond the surface and be intentional about being kind. No matter what someone’s social media feed looks like, we all need encouragement!
A little bit of encouragement sure can go a long way! Thank you so much, sweet friend!
Jennifer,
These are good words to read, thank-you for sharing them.
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Thank you so much, Penny! Many blessings to you!
Miss Jennifer,
Thank you for this encouragement today! I have been feeling that nudge in my spirit to reach out to someone and thank them for the role they play in my life and this was the final little nod of confirmation to do so! God’s timing is perfect, He is so faithful. Thank you for letting Him use you. Such a blessing. I hope you have a blessed day.
I’m not too shocked anymore, it is a shame to see Christians going each other.