“Ok God. I’ll do this. I’ll pray but . . .” I paused, “But I really don’t think You are listening. It’s like I’m talking to myself here.” Feeling ridiculous, I went on spilling my awkward, choppy and garbled thoughts in the privacy of my living room. It was spiritual baby talk, no eloquent profound revelations. When I ran out of words, I simply said Amen, opened my eyes and went on with my day.
That night I struggled to fall asleep. It was well into the early morning hours and I stared a hole into the ceiling, unable to quiet my mind. I mentally recited the alphabet over and over. A B C D and then back down, Z Y X W… Nothing worked. I tried to remember the bedtime prayer my father taught me when I was a little girl. Our Father who… What was the rest? Start in Heaven? Hallow by thy name…? Each time the words eluded me, I started over again from the beginning, as if getting a running start on the prayer would get me further. Eventually my thoughts melted into a hazy blur and finally my body relaxed.
As I sank down into a comfortable darkness, a sense of awareness grew, spreading out on the surface of my mind like rays of sunlight reaching down into the depths of a dark ocean. I felt prompted to get up. More specifically, to go into the living room and open my Bible. At our last bible study gathering, we’d learned the Holy Spirit works in this way. It’s a thought that is not quite your own, a persuasive urging that is coming from inside you but pressing in from somewhere else.
“If you experience it, obey it,” our study leader had said with a serious smile. “That’s God calling.”
But I didn’t want to obey it. I struggled against it. Getting up at that moment was the last thing I wanted to do. I was finally drifting off. I had to work in the morning. Even if I fell asleep right at that moment, I would only get in a good three hours. I ignored it but the sense grew stronger until it seemed to be pulsing right along with my heartbeat. Finally conceding, I thought to myself, this is crazy. I threw the covers back and went into the living room. Groggy and dazed, I sat on the rug with my back to the sofa, Bible in my lap.
What now?
Open it and look.
So I did. I opened it randomly and immediately my eyes fell to Matthew 6.
‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from the evil one.‘
There it was, the prayer I was trying to remember more than an hour ago. Then, undeniably, the Lord spoke directly to my soul.
I am listening to you. I hear your every word and know your every thought.
The hardened shell around my heart crumbled. My heart broke. I buried my face in my hands and cried, overwhelmed by an encompassing sense of peace that had eluded me for years while I’d struggled to cope with life on my own. Who am I that the God of the universe would care to reassure me? But miraculously He does.
I’ve learned so much about Him since that night when my life changed forever. I could never turn back. God’s love is so pure, just a misty essence of it will bring us to our knees. Whatever you’re chasing, stop. Realize God is chasing you. Let Him catch you. I promise, you’ll never be the same.
Leave a Comment
Ifeoma Samuel says
Thank you Michelle for sharing your experience. I like how you wrote the conclusion. We’ve got to stop running (or hiding away) from God and allow him to catch us.
God bless and continue the good walk.
http://purposefulandmeaningful.blogspot.com/
Michelle Athens says
Thank you, Ifeoma.
Candace Ortiz says
The Holy Spirit gets me every time. I’ve always felt it lingering inside me ready to give me the answers I’m searching for and yet I still try to tune him out whenever I don’t like the answer. Sometimes I am just to impatient to wait for that little voice, that whisper in my ear. Then it happens, I finally give up on my own and pray a lot and listen to the holy spirits nudging and walah, all is righted in my world. Silly me I am always surprised! Then it dawns on me that God has never failed me! Everything in my life has always worked out for the better good- for his purpose- even the “bad”. Thank you for the encouraging words this morning Michelle. Beautifully written and just what I needed to read this morning to start my day!
Michelle Athens says
Thanks Candace. You’re right. It always turns out better when we obey that still small voice.
Kim says
Thank you for sharing this. How true it is that if we just stop running God will be right there. This gave me God bumps and brought tears to my eyes!
Michelle Athens says
Thanks Kim. That means a lot.
Gianina says
Thank you Michelle for the wonderful words of encouragement. I really needed to hear these words today before I get into the madness of this world. Thank you for reminding me that I need to stop chasing the things of this world, and let the lover of my soul chase me instead. I love your writing style.
May you be blessed always!
Michelle Athens says
Gianina, you’re the best. Thanks for commenting.
Kate says
Nothing compares to hearing His voice and feeling His promptings. Nothing.
Love reading about these kinds of moments. Our God is so intimate and knowing and involved. Thank you for the sweet reminder this early A.M.
Kind Blessings,
Kate 🙂
Michelle Athens says
I was just saying that last night! Nothing compares to those intimate moments of connection with Him. I just can’t get enough.
Ana says
Michelle,
Great words of encouragement!! Let him catch us is something I am struggling with and trying to allow myself to be caught.
Ana
Michelle Athens says
Thanks Ana. You’ll never regret it.
Blanca "Cusi" Sanchez says
AMAZING!!!! I love it! Such a moving, monumental, and incredible moment beautifully captured and expressed to those who need to know that God is there and waiting. He is approachable and loves us. Amen & XOXO <3
Ana Mattos says
Michelle,
Thank you for these beautiful words… your experiences and lessons learned are a true inspiration.
Much love,
Ana
Michelle Athens says
Thanks Ana. I appreciate that.
Billy says
Wow! I am rethinking a lot of things. I am going to read this again. Amazing!
Michelle Athens says
I just love you babe. 🙂
Marty says
“Whatever you’re chasing, stop. Realize God is chasing you. Let Him catch you. I promise, you’ll never be the same.”
Thank you so much for sharing this today.
weezie says
Wow, what a precious child of God u r! I was so encouraged reading this God story in my quiet time this mid morning. Michele, u have a real talent expressing yourself. I have felt this same calling in the mid morning, to have some quiet time, waking too early, I better start inquiring what God wants to say to me, and stop trying to just turn over!! A friend told me once, “sleep is over rated”! Thank you for sharing.
Melanie says
Beautiful. And I so needed to read this morning.
Jennw says
Beautifully written. You are so devoted!
Sarah coleman says
Great testimony. Keep getting caught in the Word, His grace, His love.. I will too.
Cristina says
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing!
Allison Gray says
Beautiful Michelle! Very eloquent and pure.
Karen says
Simple and sincere.. You are right, the best part is God is not looking for us to be perfect, He will make us perfect in Him and according to His image. Great words!
Courtney says
I needed this reminder in such a big way today. Thank you for your words.
Sara says
Right now I think I’m running away. I too am wondering if he hears my prayers if he sees my heart hurting. I find it heart to sit and read my bible to even pray. This post has given me encouragement that he is listening and he does here me.
Beth Williams says
Sara,
Please know that God is with you always! He will never leave nor forsake you! He hears you completely and knows your heart! He formed you! Please come back to Him and allow Him to do a miraculous work in you!
Prayers that you feel and know God is with you always and hearing each cry to Him! He is working on your behalf!!
Blessings 🙂
Edna Dania says
Thank you for sharing your story. A wonderful experience all too familiar at times but yet we get so busy in life that we forget to just let go and let God with his pure and unfailing love. I give thanks to God for allowing our paths to cross. You are a blessing & its great to see what happens when you allow God to conquer our fears and worries. Looking forward for more from the Lord through YOU!
Hayvia L says
Great word my friend! Just what I needed to hear
Viola says
Thank you Michelle! I was just talking to my son last night about this. He asked me, “Does God know everything we’re thinking?” Me-“Yes”. Him-“How?” “He’s God.” How else do you explain this to a six year old?! 🙂 I know, turn to the Word. I just thought it neat I was just speaking about this and I read your writing. Thank you, it was good.
Theresa says
Thanks for sharing. Spoke to my hear.
Beth Williams says
Michelle,
Thanks for sharing such a touching story!! I have had several “God Callings” in my life. You can not ignore them and once you obey–Oh the blessings you will receive!
Blessings and peace! 🙂
Ema says
Michelle, the aspect about thoughts got to me. I had opened in-courage and chose your write up but i was about to press back and look briefly on the others as well when the urge came from within to keep reading and it is as you described ‘the holy spirit speaking to me’ I hope i can learn more to listen and obey in Jesus name
Marni says
Thank-you so much for your willingness to share. I so very needed to hear this message. I love those God -nudges, too, and those incredible moments of deep connection with Him.
Janet from FL says
I had to laugh, because it is good to know that someone younger than me can forget the words of “The Lord’s Prayer” in the middle of the night. It is frustrating, since I have said that prayer thousands of times ever since I was a little tyke. So encouraging to read that God showed you the words to the prayer, letting you and us know, that is why He put it in the Bible, so we would always have the words at our fingertips! Thanks so much for sharing this story.
Melanie says
Amen! “God’s love is so pure, just a misty essence of it will bring us to our knees. Whatever you’re chasing, stop. Realize God is chasing you. Let Him catch you. I promise, you’ll never be the same.” Oh how thankful I am that He never gives up chasing this wretched girl!
Jessica says
Thank you so much for sharing. You are so inspirational. I look forward to hearing and learning more from you.
Jessica