My DaySpring Story

When I had writer's block recently, I asked what you'd like to see as a post. Several of you mentioned DaySpring so I thought I'd start there...

 
(Cover of an award-winning card I wrote, inspired by my personal struggle.)

My grandparents had a Christian bookstore when I was growing up. I spent many hours curled up on an old chair in back of the store reading the stacks of books I'd gathered from the shelves.

I wrote my first book at age five. It was not published but proudly tucked away by its number one fan--my Mom.

I never really considered another career besides writing.

My grandma on my Dad's side was an English teacher. So it seemed words flowed through my veins and heart from the moment I came into the world.

In school I wrote poetry during science class and carried around enourmous notebooks.

I graduated and enrolled as an English major.

All through high school I'd been the "good Christian girl." And frankly, the pedestal was getting old. That first semester I rebelled.

I came home for Christmas broken and desperately missing God. During that time my sweet Grandma (the one with the bookstore) mentioned to her DaySpring sales representative that she had a granddaughter who wanted to be a writer. The representative told her I could send some ideas.

So she passed that little bit of good news along and I decided to try a few greeting cards. It became a turning point in my faith too.

And I know now that what happened next is nothing short of a miracle...to be continued.

What do you want to be when you grow up? (None of us really are grown up yet...right?)

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Writer's block

I've got quite a case of it this week and would love some help.

What's one thing you'd like me to write a post about?

p.s. Miss you!

Barnes & Noble Book Signing

Update: Here are a few fun pics from the book signing! Thanks so much to everyone who stopped by!

 

I got to do the book signing with my fabulous friend and talented writer Gwen Ford Faulkenberry. She was signing her devotional A Beautiful Life and her Christian romance novel Love Finds You in Romeo, Colorado.

 

These are a few of my wonderful girlfriends--Andrea, Tena, and Kathleen.

 

And one of my favorite families, our dear friends Heather and Tony with little ones Micah and Lily.

I wish I had gotten a picture of everyone. When I'm nervous I tend to forget important things like how to spell my name (story below) and that there is a camera sitting right in front of me! I really appreciate all of you who were there and those of you who were thinking of me even if you couldn't make it!

I'm getting ready for a Rain on Me book signing at our local Barnes & Noble tonight. It's a bit of a "pinch me" moment. (Hopefully I won't blow that this time by walking into the men's bathroom and/or spelling my own name wrong.) I keep thinking about how God has brought me through the desert and into this place where I'm finally seeing blessings flow out of my pain. This devotional from Rain on Me describes my heart on that subject so I wanted to share it with you today...

The “Yes” You Never Expected

He stilled the storm to a whisper;

the waves of the sea were hushed.

                                         Psalm 107:29

A few years ago, a coworker came rushing up to my desk with good news to share. She exclaimed, “A greeting card you wrote has been nominated for an award!” I asked her what kind of card it was, and she replied, “Baby congratulations.”

After she walked away from my desk, I sat in stunned silence for a few moments as I considered the irony. An infertile woman might receive an award for a baby congratulations card!

As I looked back over the last few years, several other similar instances came to mind. I unexpectedly got to help develop a line of baby gifts. I published three books for children.

Slowly the Lord began to reveal something to my heart. I sensed Him softly whispering, I’ve said yes to every prayer that has been prayed for new life to come through you. It has just been in a different way than you expected. As I absorbed those words, tears came to my eyes. I knew it was true.

I also knew that I had believed a lie. That lie went something like, “You did something wrong, and so God is saying no to your prayers.” I thought if I could just be better, then somehow I could earn what I wanted.

Now, though, I suddenly realized God had been saying yes all along. In that moment God “stilled the storm to a whisper” in my life. Before then all I could hear was the rain pounding against my heart, and the steady beat sounded like no, no, no, no.

You’ve heard that sound, haven’t you? Late at night, when all is quiet. In the middle of the day, when you’re caught off guard by a painful longing or unwelcome memory. In the morning, when you wake up to another day where things are not as they should be.

Yet if we listen closer, there is another sound. It’s the heartbeat of our Heavenly Father. And it’s always yes, yes, yes, yes. Even when we don’t understand, yes. Even when it’s different than what we expected, yes. Even when it seems as if nothing good is happening at all, yes.

Over the next few months, five people told me on separate occasions that they felt God was going to bring new life through my words. I hadn’t told any of them what God had revealed to my heart, and it was further confirmation of what I’d sensed to be true. Not having a child still hurt, but I also found renewed peace in knowing that God was at work.

Perhaps it’s time for you to ask your Heavenly Father to “still the storm to a whisper” in your life and help you hear His voice in a new way. You just may discover a no in your life is actually a yes you never expected.

Loving the Giver More than the Gift

Here in this place redwoods grow taller than skyscrapers. Here in this place words swirl around us like the wind. Here in this place I remember why I am a writer.

I think back to a time before I knew about contracts, sales figures, and publishing deals. I picture a little girl learning her letters as if unlocking a key to the universe. I recall a young woman staring out at the ocean, notebook in hand, listening not to the waves but to the whisper of God within her.

For me, the phrase “becoming a writer” has always sounded a bit odd. There was never a moment when I made a decision. It was more like a spark within me that has slowly and steadily grown into a flame. To say “I became a writer” is like saying “I became a woman.” 

But it has become more complicated through the years. There are times when I stare at the face of the publishing world and wonder if it will swallow me whole. Will I lose my innocence? Will I forget my mission? Will I remember Who brought me here? 

I ask myself questions like this as I stare up at the ceiling in the night. It’s hard to describe how this gift, this amazing gift, also feels like a tremendous responsibility. It’s as if the king has asked me to guard a bit of his gold. While I’m honored, I also worry it will be lost, stolen, or taken away.

Most of all, I worry that one day I will want it for myself. I fear forgetting that the words entrusted to me are not mine—they are on loan only long enough for me to get them on a page so they can fulfill God's purposes.

It is like that with all we truly treasure, isn’t it? Children, spouses, dreams, homes—in the end they all belong to God. Yet we are capable of clinging to them, even worshiping them.

I remember going to summer camp in sixth grade. It felt much like this—trees, water, and enough silence to hear God speak. He had recently given me a blessing (I don’t even recall what it was now). I stared up at the sky and I sensed Him gently whispering, “Remember to love the Giver more than the gift.”

I hear those words again now.

Yes, in this moment, I know once more I’m still His little girl—the one who writes for love. I release what has never belonged to me. I open my hands, open my heart.  

May it be so with all we hold tightly, Lord.   

Where's God When It Rains?

From Rain on Me: Devotions of Hope and Encouragement for Difficult Times

A few years ago, I read the book Captivating by Stasi Eldridge. In one part she challenges women to ask God how He’s showing them His love.

I was at the beginning of my storm during that time but still far enough into it to feel a bit abandoned. So I initially balked at the question.

Finally, with a sigh, I silently asked, “Lord, how in the world are You showing me You love me right now?”

In an instant the answer came. I gently sensed God say to my heart, “I’m walking through the rain with you and I’m giving you my umbrella.”

My mind flashed back to a day in college when an unexpected storm swept in while I was in class. I dreaded the long trek home. As I exited my classroom, I couldn’t believe what I saw. My boyfriend Mark (who is now my husband) stood waiting for me with a smile on his face and an umbrella in his hand. He had come to walk me through the rain. It’s still one of the sweetest and most loving things anyone has ever done for me.

Of course, the best part of the walk home that day was staying right beside Mark. Umbrellas aren’t very big and the closer you get, the drier you stay. It’s the same way with God.

I know what’s it’s like to want to run away into the rain as fast as you can. I’ve done exactly that many times. But the sweetest moments in my journey have come when I’ve chosen to stay under God’s umbrella and let Him wrap His loving arms around me. 

Being under God’s umbrella still isn’t like a walk in the park on a sunny day. But there’s an intimacy to it that we may look back on with longing one day. We’ve all heard people say, “I’m glad that time in my life is over…but I sometimes miss how close I felt to God.”

God is waiting outside the door of your heart to walk you through the rain. This may not be what you would have chosen but it will be a journey you’ll always remember.

Read

After a time of great difficulty, God tells His chosen people that He will bless them with His presence and, “It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain.” ISAIAH 4:6 NIV

Reflect

How is God showing you his love right now?

What do you think God is saying to your heart today?

Are you choosing to stay under God’s umbrella or running into the storm? Why?

 

Respond

Lord, thank You for Your love. Sometimes it’s hard to see in the midst of all this rain. I pray You will show me how You’re taking care of me today. I especially need You to___________________. Amen.

 

You can use my friends and family discount code, RAINON20, for an additional 20% off the book and everything else you order from DaySpring.com by April 1.

 

7 Steps to a Quick, Easy, and Inspiring Journal

  

I have a confession to make. (By the way, it seems like I confess to you a lot, doesn't it? When I started this blog I had no idea there was so much I needed to get off my chest.) Anyway, here it goes: I'm a writer who doesn't keep a real, live, after-I-die-they'll-publish-it journal. Nope, haven't done that since I was a freshman in college. And I hope no one ever finds that one. I may burn it. But that's another story.

My journaling consists of three things: me, my trusty laptop, and bullet points. Did you just cringe? Stay with me, it's going to get better. I began this type of journaling a little over two years ago. Before then I had tried to keep a journal but somehow it never became consistent and included a lot of whining.

One day it seemed as if God put the idea in my heart to start keeping a "good things" journal. This journal would include little blessings, encouraging words people shared with me, and other ways He showed His love in my life every day.

So I did it. At first it felt awkward. I felt prideful and a bit cheesy. But over time it started to rock my world because it made me realize how much I dwell on the negative. I would sit down at my keyboard and think, "What a rough day!" Then by the end of the journaling, I would realize four or five really amazing things happened.

I often tell my counseling clients that our minds are like cars. If you let go of the steering wheel in your car, it will naturally drift in one way or another. We're like that too. I think we all have a natural tendency to drift either toward being negative or positive.

I, my friends, tend to drift toward the negative. Because of that it's really important for me to do things, like my journal, that are the equivalent of me taking back the wheel. Well, it's really Jesus taking the wheel. (And we all know that song. Sing it with me now.)

Here's my 7-step guide to doing your very own "good things" journal:

1) Choose a time to journal each day. I do mine right before bed. You only need five to ten minutes. If you miss a day (or three), give yourself grace. 

2) Sit down in a quiet place with your journal or laptop. I prefer a laptop but I do still have zillions of paper journals just because they make me happy.

3) Ask God to help you see through His eyes. Then start mentally digging through your day from beginning to end like a treasure hunter.

4) When something comes to mind, write one or two sentences about it in your journal. For example, "I had lunch with my dear friend and we laughed so hard we almost fell out of our chairs, Thank you, God, for the gift of frienship."

5) If someone has spoken or written encouraging words to you that day, record those in your journal too.

6) Include short prayers (see #4) expressing gratitude.

7) Reread often, especially on hard days.

That's it, dear readers. I did mine the first year with a bit of reluctance. But when I sat down and reread it on January 1st of the following year, I was really hooked. I had forgotten about 80% of the blessings in my life and I knew I'd probably do it again unless I kept going. You probably are more spiritual than I am and would never do such a thing.

AND I believe in this whole idea so much that to help you get started I'm doing a giveaway. Yeah, for giveaways! This is a Sassy & Sophisticated journal I helped create and I love it...

  

The cover says, "She lives. She loves. She laughs." Each page inside includes a Scripture.

To be entered, please leave a comment sharing one blessing in your life today. Three (yes, three!) winners will be announced on Friday and our friend the random number generator will decide which comments get the journal. If you're a subscriber, please remember to go to the site and post your comment rather than replying to the e-mail.

All of you are going in my good things journal today because getting to know you through this blog has been wonderful. I love hearing your hearts, learning from you, and laughing with you too.

Happy writing!

Sweet Humble Pie: Christian Book Expo 2009

On my way down to Christian Book Expo in Dallas I felt giddy with excitement. I imagined writing this cool post for you about all the people I met, the stories I heard while I signed my book, and the amazing cheesecake I had. The only part that came true was the cheesecake. And it was good, my friends, very good. I felt like eating the whole thing after my signing on Saturday when only one person came to the booth. Yes, one. Uno.

This was slightly less depressing because it happened to everyone else too. The show felt like this surreal version of the writer red carpet. “Famous” authors like Elizabeth George and Sheila Walsh didn’t even have long lines. You could walk right up and talk to them. I wandered around poking my husband and saying, “There’s Max Lucado” and “There’s Michelle McKinney Hammond.” They were just strolling by like we were in the mall on a Saturday. A somewhat empty mall, mind you. To be fair, it was the first year for the show and spring break week so that certainly influenced attendance.

(And I need to stop here to say that my publisher, Summerside Press, was amazing. They took all of the writers out to tea at a cool little café. The booth looked good and a lot of people stopped at ours compared to other places. So I don’t in any way want to imply that it was them. And they’re new so a lot of what I’m about to share doesn’t apply to them like it does to me. Now that I’m pretty sure they won’t burn my book, I’ll continue.)

I’ve been around the Christian publishing industry for as long as I can remember. My grandparents had a Christian bookstore. I listened to Petra and Carmen demo tapes. I had a key chain that said something like, “I love Amy Grant.” I carried stacks of books into the back room and spent hours curled up in an old, worn recliner. It was there I decided I would one day be a Christian writer.

I grew up and became an intern for DaySpring at the ripe old age of nineteen. I’ve pretty much been there ever since, gradually moving to the role of editorial director. I’ve gone to many CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) shows through the years. The floor used to bustle with activity and feel alive with a powerful, transformational energy.

In contrast, at one point this weekend I walked by a very traditional-looking booth. A man with silver hair and a grey suit was behind the counter sleeping. I’m not in marketing but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to sleep in your booth. I wish I could have taken a picture because it became one icon of my experience. I’m afraid there's something about our industry that may simply be falling asleep. 

My dear friend Jason got me a signed copy of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (he didn’t have a long line either, despite the fact that his book has sold over a million copies). I devoured it on the way home and it felt so different than the show. It was gritty, and real, and raw. He talked about many different things but what stood out most to me was his idea that we are “self-addicted.” We make the mistake of believing that life, and faith, and what we do is about us.

But it’s not and it never has been. It’s about God and loving other people. What struck me most about the show this weekend is that it seemed we all just expected people to come to us. We set up our booths, put out our books, and waited. We all looked nice, were ready with our pretty pens, and somehow felt like that should be enough. It seemed reasonable to me.

Yet on the way home I had a nagging sense that this was very different than what God did for us. He came to us. He, the God of the Universe, who had every right to expect us to make the move also knew us well enough to see that’s just not how human nature works. And instead of complaining about it, He got messy, dirty, and crucified so we could be in relationship with Him.

To my fellow members of the Christian publishing community: perhaps it is time we become even more intentional about doing the same. In some aspects, we've lived fairly comfortably, safely, easily. But it could be our moment to reach out in new ways, bare our hearts, open our lives, meet people where they are and stop expecting them to come to us. If we do not, I'm afraid we risk being irrelevant.

And I want to apologize to you, dear readers, for the times when I have been part of the problem. There have been moments, and this is difficult for me to admit, that my writing has been more about me than you. I’ve written to feel accepted. I’ve written to feel loved. I’ve written to soothe my insecurity. And that is wrong. This gift I’ve been entrusted with is not for me. It’s for the Kingdom and for you—always. Will you please forgive me?

In return, here’s my promise to you: I will not fall asleep in my booth. I will not stay safe. I will be messy, authentic, and desperately in need of grace. And I will come to you. Because that’s what Jesus did. That’s what He still does. I believed that was true as a little girl in the back room of a bookstore, waiting to grow up and change the world.

I still believe it now.   

 

Book Signing Confessional

Yesterday I had the very first signing for my new book—Rain on Me: Devotions of Hope and Encouragement for Difficult Times. The signing was at my church = less scary. But my church is BIG = more scary. Mark and I were there for all five services.

You will be proud to know that I did not walk into the men’s bathroom during any of them. 

I did, however, manage to do some other craziness.

The hardest part about a book signing is the beginning. The church made a video to play in the services telling everyone about the book. But before they showed it no one had any idea who I was or why I was in the foyer grinning like a fool.

At one point a woman approached the booth looking eager. I lit up and leaned across the counter. She dug in her pocket. “Yes,” I thought, “My very first customer.” She pulled out a wad of cash the likes of which I have never seen.  It must have been four inches thick. “I bet this has never happened to Max Lucado,” I humbly reflected.

Then, as if in slow motion, my husband reached out and took the entire stack of cash. He nodded and said to the woman, “Thanks for getting fifty one dollar bills for us so we can make change.” My book-signing fantasy went right up in a little puff of ego.

But I wasn’t too concerned because I still had a back-up plan for getting people to come to the booth. In my twisted little mind I had a theory that went like this, “No one knows who I am (besides my ever-faithful friends and Jesus) and no one has ever heard of my book (except my relatives and Jesus).

But every woman loves chocolate. So I will put Dove milk chocolate eggs that coordinate with the book cover (yes, they really did) on the counter in little glass bowls so people will come over here.” If that sounds a bit like bribery to you then here’s what I’ve got to say about that, “You are very perceptive.”

I also decided I needed to make my little booth look pretty. I bought a vase of red tulips and as I was putting them in the water, I broke one in half. Yep, just like that—snap, snap—and my lovely tulip went from stately to stumpy.

Not to be deterred, I taped it back together and shoved it down in the middle. It never quite stood tall like the rest. At one point a little girl asked, “What’s wrong with that one?” I said, “It needs hope and encouragement.”

As for the actual signing of the books, I felt clueless the entire time. I didn’t know what to say, which page I should write on, or what kind of pen to use. I was also paranoid that I would spell a name wrong. Someone would say, “Please sign it to Pat.” And I would ask, “How do you spell that?” Then they would look suspiciously at me as if asking themselves, “Did she really write a book?”

In the end, I did spell a name wrong. But it was not Pat. It was Holley. Oh, yes, my friends. Upon reflection, I’m fairly certain I spelled my own name incorrectly once. So if you’ve got a book and my first name is missing an “e” then see me for a refund. Or sell it on eBay. Whatever works for you.

People were truly very gracious and kind. The best part of the day was talking to them and hearing their stories. It was wonderful and humbling to know where my little book is going. I kept inwardly repeating one of my favorite prayers, “Oh, Lord, please use me in spite of me.”

I’d like to conclude my little confessional by thanking Mark, my banker and husband, for keeping me focused and not letting me do math. Thank you to our dear friends who came and helped. And thank you to my wonderful church for all the support.

And finally, I’d also like to thank all of you amazing readers who know my quirks and keep coming back here anyway—even without the chocolate.   

 

Exciting news and a surprise for you!

  

My first devotional book was recently published and I'm thrilled about sharing this "prayer come true" with you. It came out of a storm I've walked through the last four years and having it printed feels a bit like having my first baby.

Here's an excerpt from the introduction...

Your first drop may have been a diagnosis given by a doctor with a grim face. Perhaps it was a note left on the kitchen table that said, “I’m sorry but I don’t love you anymore.” It could have been a phone call late at night and someone on the other end telling you the unthinkable.

Or your first drop may have come so softly you didn’t even recognize it. You tried to start a family and after another negative pregnancy test realized something might be wrong. You took a promising job and one day discovered that your computer screen might as well be a “dead end” sign. You began a relationship only to discover that your dream come true has started feeling a bit like a nightmare.

No matter how your first drop fell, it was probably followed by another…and another…and another. Now your heart is soaking wet and you’re wondering if you’ll ever feel warm and dry again.

The good news is God knows even more about rain than those scientists. He knows the destruction it can bring. He also knows how to redeem it and use it to bring beauty and hope to our lives.

Take a quick look out your window. Every flower or tree you see owes its life to rain. Every bird singing, every frog hopping, every living thing draws its strength from storms.

I’m not saying God caused the storm in your life. We live in a broken world and things are not as they should be. But I do believe that God is the Redeemer of the Rain. He longs to bring beauty out of brokenness, healing out of hurts, and new life out of losses.

I know this is true because I’ve experienced it personally…

To download the rest of the introduction, table of contents, and the first devotional, click here: Download Rain on Me Excerpt

Dayspring is graciously featuring Rain on Me on their site along with a set of cards and two exclusive necklaces. Here's the surprise...The book is already 10% off and if you enter holley20 (my special code for friends and family) when you check out you'll receive an extra 20% off everything you purchase (no expiration)! I'd love for you to share your discount with friends and family too.

I appreciate you and I'm so grateful for your support. May God redeem the rain in all of our lives...