A Different Kind of Hope: Part One

This week I had the honor of speaking at the MEND Christmas Candlelight Service. I was scared silly but you'll be proud to know I did not walk into the men's bathroom.

I shared about having A Different Kind of Hope.

I’d like to pass along a much briefer version to you as well (some of it is adapted from Rain on Me and some is new).

First, A Different Kind of Hope says, “It’s okay to not be okay.”

This time of year the word “hope” is everywhere—decorations, in songs, in church. It’s often talked about like a fluffy, nice feeling. That kind of hope is a nice thought but it just doesn’t cut it for me a lot of the time. 

I've realized Christmas is about both heartache and joy. The manger led to the cross. As I thought about this recently it has brought me back to one of the first things I learned on this journey, “It’s okay to not be okay”—and that’s even true at the holidays!

Before my storm I’d been one of those people who always said, “I’m fine” when anyone asked. But I got to a place where that was no longer an option. I remember worrying what people would think or how God would feel. But the response I got was the last one I’d ever expect—love and grace. And that's what God offers you too.  

One of the things that kept me from admitting I wasn’t okay is that I thought I had to be perfect or whole to be used by God. I’ve realized in His Kingdom the opposite is actually true.

A verse we often hear close to Christmas is the one in Isaiah that says, “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our sins, the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him and by His wounds we are healed.”

I was listening to a song with that verse in it one day as I drove home from work several years ago. I asked God, “How can you use me when I feel so broken?”

As I listened I realized that it was in His brokenness that Jesus brought healing to us. We think that we have to take what’s broken and make it perfect again. God thinks in an entirely different way—He took what was perfect (His Son) and through His brokenness brought us healing. Because of this, our brokenness can bring healing to others too. And in the process, it can also heal us.

You are loved just as you are—brokenness and all.

A Different Kind of Hope says, “It’s okay to not be okay.”

To be continued...

 

 
Loads of Hope on Blog Nosh Magazine - share your post! 

______________________________________________________________________________

For each post in this series I'll be giving away a Hope and Encouragement card pack from DaySpring so you can help some hurting hearts. It includes 10 cards (I wrote some of them) and would be worth over $30 if you got them at a store. I'll announce all the winners when the series is done. Just leave a comment on any of the posts—or on more than one for extra entries!

(Subscribers, remember to go to the post to leave your comment. Thanks!)

*This giveaway is done but you can enter a new one and join me in The Rest of Your Story series by clicking here!

Subscribe by Email

Share |

Comments

[~Grace & Peace]

The concept of perfection trips me up, too. The enemy has been using that on me for years and years. It's paralyzing. But digging into His word more and more and reading blogs like this reminds me that I don't have to be perfect to be of use to the Kingdom. It's humbling and exhilarating at the same time. I love the God we serve. Amazing. Thanks, Holley. How is grandpa?

[Ally]

Yes. Yes. I had to learn this too. I had to learn to alter traditions to celebrate the life I live and not the life I planned.

[Patty]

Yes, and amen to ~ “It’s okay to not be okay.” "You are loved just as you are—brokenness and all." I am reminded that while we were still in our sins Christ died for us. Has His love lessened? Of course not.

[susanna mancho]

Thanks for you encouragement Holley. I think i'm learning little by little that is ok to admit your not fine. I'm loving reading rain on me and seeing that out of our storm God can do great things

[Cindy]

Hi, Holley:

Praise God for you. Thank you for sharing these thoughts on "A Different Kind of Hope." I appreciate today's and am looking forward to the others. My word for the end of 2009 and for 2010 is HOPE! I am trying to come up with an acrostic for the word. I'll let you know when I get it - from our Father God! May I share the one God gave me for REST? Recognizing Eternal Spoken Truth! God is so very good! It is good to be reminded that "It's okay not to be okay." Selah!

Thank you! God bless you richly!

[Jessica Olivares]

Hello Holley,

I'm always blessed by your writings. You're so transparent, and you showing your brokenness help heal ours. "It's okay not to be okay" what a great reminder to received God's grace and love!

Blessings!

[Mona Agosto]

Your e-mails blessed me in so many ways that I check my e-mail all the time waiting to hear from you. As I sat and read "its okay not to be okay" that is where I'm at right now and I know God is with me and things will work out. I Thanks God that I found this web site because I was about to just give up and lose hope.

[Kristen - Moms Sharpening Moms]

Holley,

I, too, have had to fight the urge to give an obligatory, "I'm just fine" to that question. Far too often, I wanted others to think I had it all together. I've learned that none of us have it together all the time and our honesty about our struggles encourages one another.

You are such a blessing in my life here and at (in)courage! May God bless and keep you!

[Terrie]

Dear Hollie.
I was there for 17 years......trying to fit in a world that centered around families with children in it. At least that is what I saw, and in my aching heart of wanting a baby so bad I could taste it. When I came home at night, I had to face an empty cradle, an empty playroom, and most obvious empty arms. In real life,I was grieving. Sometimes quietly, sometimes openly, most of the time: my heart was on my sleeve.
MEND support group would have been an awesome organization for me to be involved with when I was going through my own grief of loss of my babies. Hope is a thread that held me together. With God it was hard but without God it would be hopeless to keep holding on to a prayer, wish, dream that took so long to come.......I am thankful for HOPE, JOY, and HIS PROMISE in the WORD that carried this thread to my heart.

[Deborah Inghram]

Hi Holly,

What really spoke to me in your part was, Its okay to not be okay. We do just say it sometimes without thinking and other times we think, do people really want to know how we feel, or we do not want to burden others. The Bible verse, Gal 6:2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Jesus is the burden bearer, there is a law at work here. We were not meant to carry our burdens alone but we are to share in them as He shared in ours for us. I pray we step out more and get involved more in each others life and made a difference wherever we are especially during this Christmas season and spread hope to all of Jesus Christ.

This hope that you are teaching on, is something I need right now, going thru a storm of my own. Thank you for your sharing and caring.

Blessings,
Deb

[Justine]

Thank you so much for sharing these words of wisdom! How amazing God is to speak to hearts through words. Just today, I was questioning God's desire to use me for an upcoming retreat. I honestly feel "too broken" to be used and feel that I need to be "whole" or "in the right place" before I can serve Him. Through your blog entry, I am sweetly reminded that this is EXACTLY where God steps in. This is where He shows us how beautiful and mighty He is. "It's okay to not be okay" - thank you for the reminder. :)

[whimzie]

I just recently wrote about this very thing. Because I am not okay. It is well with my soul, but I am not okay. This is a very difficult Christmas for my family. I feel like we are just surviving it right now and sometimes it seems we're barely doing that. But isn't that what hope is really about? You don't hope for what you know will be. You hope for the stuff you can't see yet.

I remember crying before God at one point this year, "What do you want from me? Brokenness? Because I'm shattered beyond recognition!" And I heard a still small voice say, "Good. Now I can use you." Broken feels fragile and exposed. But for it me it has meant getting to a point where I truly know I can do absolutely nothing on my own.

[Reese]

True,"It's okay to not be Okay" -Transparencey Hurts; but, the end product is so absolutely rewarding, right? --That's what I keep telling myself, anyway....babysteps, babysteps.

[Linda]

It is a blessing to have hope at times when things aren't all okay and we don't know for sure when it will feel "okay" again. Our transparency with each other can be a gift of encouragement this Christmas. The last number of months were rough for me. Last week I saw the beauty of the ministry of the Holy Spirit as a friend spoke words of Life deep into my spirit, breathing fresh hope, and helping to fan the flame of Life.

As we are prompted, we can speak words of Life,life-giving words,to others. I leave a with each of you the challenge to be alert to the Holy Spirit because YOU may be the one He will use to bring hope to a struggling heart this Christmas. Whether through a word,hug, prayer, gesture of kindness, God can use you to bless another and you will be blessed in the process. The friend God used to especially speak to me is going through a challenging time herself. We don't need to be perfect and "together" to be used of God. I bless you with being able to give and receive life giving words this Christmas no matter what stage in life you find yourself now. You all are beautiful vessels loved by God.

[Drilma]

Holley,
I've used that expression for so many years, "I'm Ok" when I really was not. I know now "It's OK To Not Be OK" but we still respond to "I'm OK" when people ask how we are doing when we are literally dying inside. I'm purchasing myself and my daughter a HOPE ring to wear like you wear on your right hand. My daughter is going through marriage problems and we intend to wear the Hope rings to minister to each other and as a witness tool. I appreciate you sharing your heart, it is a welcome relief in our world. I will keep you in my prayers

[Ann]

Holly, this is so true. It is also something I'm trying to teach my adult daughters. My prayers continue to be with you and your ministry for women.
Ann

[Bindu]

Holley,

Such a great post, thanks so much for the reminder that its ok not to be ok.

Bindu

[deb @ talk at the table]

Part of the struggle is that we try to determine where we matter, or to whom, or how.
I think sometimes it's all a mystery. We often never find out. It is comforting to rest in that , but it is so hard.
My high school years were not so good, but I put on my good girl face.
Perhaps there was a certain empathy that I had or something, because it wasn't until just recently that I actually read and let sink into me , all the messages of thanks from my peers. How much I'd made a huge impact in some struggle they were facing , or got them through a horrible time. I was so caught up in feeling that pain, that it took years and years to finally realize that I had mattered.
And if that's all I ever manage to help, that's okay .

[Faith Barista Bonnie]

Thank you God for writing this honest post through Holley! It is so anti-intuitive to embrace brokenness as the doorway to love and grace. Everything in our earthly existence tells us the opposite -- because human beings only see beauty in love and grace. But, our spiritual existence cries out to be heard and celebrated - the real us is born in each opening and breakage. Everytime I think of Jesus breaking His body to show us His love, it just brings me to the foot of the cross gladly once gain. And it draws me close to Him, reminding me I lay on a broken, wholly given Holy body, given in love for me. What a wonderful series for Christmas! Amen, Holley.

[Amy]

Holley-
I completely understand what you're talking about..."I'm fine"...when in all actuality I'm really not. I don't know why, but for some reason I've been that type of person who has to put on a smile when I'd rather cry or curl up on my bed. That was then and I'm glad to say God is working on that with me.

I used to think that was the 'Christian' thing to do. God's helping me realize that "it's ok. to not be ok", as you wrote. I think that's why so many people like you and your writing....you're "real". You have real problems, heartache, joy, etc, just like us, your readers. :)

So, as I wrote, God is indeed helping me work through my feelings and I'v come to understand that while I don't have to be "happy" FOR my circumstances, I can be joyful IN my circumstances- (VERY difficult, but not impossible!). I read somewhere that 'happiness is based on events that happen in someone's life....joy is based on a deep, trusting relationship with God'. Completely trusting and believing that God can work out all things for the good of those who love Him and give us peace that passes all understanding.

I wish you PEACE and JOY and HOPE during this Christmas time,

Amy V.

[Heather of the EO]

I love this. Thank you. I walk around with that quote in my head a lot, the one that is,

God does not only use the equipped,
He equips those He uses.

(I don't know who to give credit or how much that's changed through the telephone game over time, but I've always loved it.)

If we are to sit around and wait to be "good enough" before we can live our purpose, we'll always be waiting.

So yes, thank you. Love this post. (but I already said that) :)

[Karen]

What a wonderful post! I appreciate you pointing out that it's okay to not be okay. So many times, people put on the fake smile and say they're fine when the truth is - they're not. You are so right - it is okay to not be okay and to admit it. Thanks for the encouragement to do so.

Hope you have a wonderful week!
Karen

[Shelli @ Hopefully Devoted]

If everything was okay, if everything was perfect, there would be no need for hope. Hope is an expectation of receiving something that is desired. If we have fully "arrived" then there would be nothing desired and no need for hope. So, I agree, it's okay to not be okay. In fact, we'll never be totally okay until our hope is realized in heaven. I can hardly imagine what it will be like to have no hope because I don't need hope because all of my desires will be fulfilled when faith is made sight.

Thank you for giving me these thoughts to chew on.

[Cassandra Frear]

Beautiful.

I know you will touch many hearts with this post.

[DY]

Holley...thank you for being so transparent with your heart.....