I'm not cool

Update: My amazing (and compassionate) friend Mandy has thrown down the gauntlet by sharing her own uncool pics and inviting others to do the same. So visit The Life of Us: The Baker Family and get busy on your blog post. Then be sure to tell us about it. Queens of Uncoolness, unite!  

Congratulations to Cathy Davis for winning the book and carafe from Jeanne Winters!

My blogging has been a bit slow this week because of a zillion things. But rather than bore you with them I'll go straight to a revelation that has come to me anew.

Here it goes...

I'm not cool.

Now, really, I've known this my entire life. I've got lots of Junior High pictures to prove it. I wore white socks with loafers, for crying out loud. But I vaguely had this idea that one day I would grow up, look in the mirror, and finally say, "Oh, yes, Holley you have finally become cool."

Well, I tell you what, it ain't gonna happen.

You may be asking yourself what led to this conclusion. There are many, many examples this week but here are a few.

First, I got to talk to a person I admire (who shall remain nameless) on the phone this week. I answered the phone and they said, "Hello, Holley, this is amazing-person-you-admire." And I said, "Hello, amazing-person-I-admire, this is Holley. Oh, of course it is, because you called ME."

Yes, I really said that word for word.

Second, my pants. I have one really good pair of black pants. The hem has fallen out and I do not know how to sew. I also am not allowed to have a hot glue gun (see previous post on lack of craft skills). Rather than taking them to someone, I save every itty-bitty safety pin I get to hold them in place. Right now I'm up to FIVE. I was in an important meeting today (Love you, Hallmark people) and looked down to see one of the five had jumped ship. Some poor, innocent person will probably get stabbed in the hallway because of my crazy pants.

Also, I still sing to my dog. I can't help it. Tonight I was changing the lyrics to a Christmas song (Walking in a Winter Wonderland.) My voice is terrible, the words make no sense, and it's spring. But I do it anyway. Do you want to know why? Because I am not cool.

I usually try to have something really deep or worthwhile to say at this point (or at least I try). But it's Friday night, What Not to Wear is on, and my in-laws will be arriving any moment. So I'm just going to wrap all of this up by sharing two photos I should probably track down and burn that recently surfaced on facebook reminding me just how deep my uncoolness goes...

  

Oh, yes, those bangs (on the left). I'm most likely responsible for global warming.

 

And just in case you thought I lied about the loafers and white socks, there they are in all their glory. 

If you're wondering, "What's the purpose of this post?" then I'll tell you. I'm sacrificially helping you feel better about yourself because no matter how uncool you may think you are, I think I've got you beat. And if you try to argue with me, I want to see a picture of your loafers.

Comments

[Shannon]

Girl, you need to get yourself some Stitch Witchery. It's this little strip of stuff that's about the size of Scotch tape, and you just iron it in the hem of your pants. Brilliant!

[amy]

Oh...Holley! I love you. That is so funny...and you are so way brave! I would never post my embarrassing HS pics. Oh, my but we thought we looked 'cool'. As a teaser...for one whole year my hair looked like Billy Idol. Yep.

[Merle]

Bless your heart, Holley. You certainly made me smile on a down kind of day.
As for your pants, the stitch witchery idea above is a great one....and until you get that, just try scotch tape. Have done that more than once if i didn't have a needle and thread :)

[Cathy Davis]

None of those types of pictures of me have surfaced on FB...yet...but I'm sure someone will scan some in soon!

I didn't know you called me this: amazing-person-you-admire...(teeeeee heeeee heeeee).

I'm excited I won! I feel so blessed to have the book! Thank you!!!

[alison]

We're all of us responsible for global warming with our junior high bangs. And I am now going to have nightmares about school thanks to you. :)

Also, I always thought you were cool.

[Sarah Markley]

oh, i think i was friends with you in jr. high.

no really. i was!

;)

trust me, i looked worse.

[Diane Stortz]

Oh, Holley, not being cool IS very cool when we're just being our wonderful selves! :)

[Jena (Organizing Mommy)]

What did we wear with loafers anyway? I can't remember what we were supposed to be wearing. Cute photos. You looked like a nice kid, and that's what matters. And I am sure you are a very happy, well adjusted adult who isn't trying to look like Angelina Jolie or something bizarre like that.

[Couch potato wanna be]

Two words...duct tape. It's the all purpose tool. I had a friend who mended his socks with it. Once it goes through the dryer it's permanent. ;o)

[katherine]

those pictures brought back lots of memories!!! thank god mine haven't surfaced yet!!

[Andrea]

Hey girl! Bring me those pants!! I'm so uncool that I know how to sew! (I'm short, ALL my pants have to be hemmed!) Loved your blog, but I must have a different definition of "cool" because I happen to think that you are!!

[Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect]

But did you wear two layers of those scrunchy socks with your loafers? Because while I may not have photographic evidence, I'm pretty sure I did. :)

I don't sew, either. I'm the only woman in my family who doesn't. I tried so many times. But it's just too hard (insert whiny voice here)! :)

[Cynthia]

We've all had some pretty un-cool moments and pictures to show for it.
But look at you now, an amazing woman who is so cool that she has the courage to be real and relate to us all!

[BJ Hamrick]

Holley, I think you are one of the coolest people I met at Mt Hermon. And don't worry about the loafers. We all did it. ;)

[Sr. Louise]

they used to sell something called "stitch witchery" that you sprinkle inside the edge of the hem you need to secure. you then press w/ iron & it bonds & holds for YEARS! my baby sister turned me on to it. There is also (looks like lace) that you iron on (holds, but not as long as the other)... you can prob find someone in the sewing/craft dept at WalMart who wd know exactly what it is (or today's replacement).
my sister & i have you beat on uncool, i posted a picture of her drinking the cat's milk out of a pie pan while i watched & smiled (we were both preschoolers). and the pix of us dressed in towels, washcloth hats, being missionaries..... and the school pix where my mother insisted on pincurling our long hair, wd always turn a few wrong way, so there was this crazy Gene Wilder hair. or the banana curls in my 5th grade pic (she truly believed in preventing cool!)